The Marine's Baby

The Marine's Baby Deb Kastner The U.S. Marine Corps made a man out of Nathan Morningway.But the orphaned baby girl left to him by his military buddy made him a father. A single father. With no training in diaper duty, let alone parenthood, Nathan heads home to Morningway Lodge–where he's not exactly warmly welcomed by his family. But day-care worker Jessica Sabin helps care for little Gracie and teaches him how to be a daddy. That seems to make Jessica happy. So why does she look so sad sometimes? Nathan's new mission: to find out–and make Jessica smile forever. “I’d be happy to care for Gracie on weekdays if you want to drop her by.” Nate smiled again, at once both a charming and disarming gesture. “I’ll do that.” No, no, no, no, no! the voice inside of her railed. Not now. Not this baby, who reminded her all too much of a similar tiny, smiling infant, one she would never forget. She had come to Morningway Lodge in part to escape from her memories, not indulge in them with someone else’s baby. And though she’d cared for several infants since taking the position here, none had affected her the way Gracie had from the first moment Jessica had seen her. Her own sweet baby, Elizabeth, had had big brown eyes and curly black hair, as well. Maybe that was it. DEB KASTNER lives and writes in colorful Colorado with the Front Range of the Rocky Mountains for inspiration. She loves writing for the Steeple Hill Love Inspired line, where she can write about her two favorite things—faith and love. Her characters range from upbeat and humorous to (her favorite) dark and broody heroes. Her plots fall anywhere in between, from a playful romp to the deeply emotional. Deb’s books have been twice nominated for the RT Book Reviews Reviewers’ Choice Award for Best Book of the Year for Steeple Hill. Deb and her husband share their home with their two youngest daughters. Deb is thrilled about the newest member of the family—her first granddaughter, Isabella. What fun to be a granny! Deb loves to hear from her readers. You can contact her by e-mail at [email protected], or on her MySpace or Facebook pages. The Marine’s Baby Deb Kastner www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk) For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. —Ephesians 2:8–9 To Katie. You have the kindest heart ever, and I have so much to learn from you. I’m so proud of the young woman my “baby” girl has become. I love you more every day. Contents Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Letter to Reader Questions for Discussion Chapter One The baby, sleeping soundly with her tiny thumb pressed in her mouth and her index finger crooked over her button nose, was cooperating beautifully. The car seat, not so much. Sergeant First Class Nathan Morningway scowled at the offensive piece of equipment and grunted as he tried the release lever again. At least he thought it was the release lever. The directions enclosed in the box had been less than helpful, and he’d chosen to wing it instead. He now wished he’d at least kept the useless instructions instead of wadding them up and tossing them in the nearest garbage can. How hard could this be? As a marine, he’d taken apart and reassembled countless firearms. He’d defused hundreds of bombs and improvised explosive devices over the years. And he couldn’t handle a simple baby seat? Nate tried the lever once more, and then decided it wasn’t worth the effort. He’d just have to figure out how to use the uncooperative piece of equipment after he’d spoken to his brother. Instead, he unhooked the straps, intending to take baby Gracie out of the car seat and carry her in his arms. The only problem was—and Nate hadn’t noticed this until he’d already unbuckled the harness— Gracie’s arm was wrapped like a noose around one of the straps, anchored by the thumb she was sucking. Oh, boy. He really hated to do this, but he didn’t see any other way around it. Holding his breath, he gently pulled on Gracie’s little fist. She made a small murmur of protest and sucked even harder. Nate tried again, more firmly this time. Gracie’s thumb left her mouth with a pop. The baby’s enormous brown eyes opened and blinked back at him. Her chin started quivering, her face scrunched up adorably and a moment later she was howling at the top of her lungs. Nate grimaced. He still couldn’t believe something that small could make so much noise. He’d never been around babies before in his entire life. And now… Now. His throat tightened and burned as he fought to suppress the memories. He had to concentrate on other issues right now, the most pressing of which was letting his brother, Vince, know he was back at the lodge. That was enough to worry about all by itself. “All right, little one,” Nate soothed, pulling the pink-clad infant awkwardly to his chest. “I’m here for you. Don’t cry, sweetheart.” Nate was surprised when the baby instantly calmed to his voice, curling into his chest and gurgling contentedly. He got a whiff of her soft downy hair and the unique smell of baby shampoo, and his heart flipped right over. Little Gracie had him wrapped around her tiny pinky finger, and there was no denying it. Gracie wasn’t just his responsibility—she was the love of his life. From the moment he’d signed the legal documents that made him not only her godfather, but her legal guardian, Nate had fallen hard for the little one hook, line and sinker. Too bad he didn’t know the first thing about raising an infant. That would be problematic, but Nate had more immediate concerns—showing up at Morningway Lodge unannounced. His parents’—his father’s—dream, and now his brother’s ministry, the lodge was an affordable retreat center for families of those recuperating from spinal injuries at the nearby Rocky Mountain Rehabilitation Hospital. The lodge was his family’s business, and Nate’s worst nightmare. Or rather, his brother Vince was Nate’s worst nightmare. He had been in the past, and in all probability, he would be again now. There was only one way to find out, and Nate had never been a procrastinator. Kissing his baby girl on her soft cheek, he tucked his palm beneath her head and marched up the stairs onto the pinewood porch of the main lodge. He inhaled deeply of the fragrant wood as he let himself in the front door and moved up to the courtesy desk. It was the scent of home and his childhood. It felt odd to be back home. Since no one was manning the desk, Nate shifted Gracie securely into one arm and rang for service. He waited a moment, and then, when no one appeared, he bounced his palm several times on the bell. “I’m sorry to keep you waiting.” A young woman whirled into the office behind the desk, brushing her shoulder-length wavy blond hair from her forehead with the tips of her fingers. “Oh, what a darling little baby girl!” When the woman met his gaze, Nate’s breath stopped short in his throat. She had the most luminous chocolate-brown eyes he’d ever seen, and they were openly friendly. More than that. Brimming with joy. He thought the look in her eyes exactly matched her spacious, heart-stealing smile. How could anyone be truly happy working as a clerk at Morningway Lodge? Despite the fact that he was glad to be coming back home at last, Nate couldn’t think of anything he’d rather not do other than work here. Tucked inside the foothills of the great Rocky Mountains, this place was officially the middle of nowhere. Nate had always been a social person and loved being part of a crowd. It had been that way since he was a small boy. He couldn’t imagine spending his whole life working in such an isolated area. Coming home to the lodge now was a temporary solution to his immediate problem, until he could work out something more permanent—and more agreeable to his outgoing nature. If it weren’t for his father’s possibly life-threatening stroke, Nate wouldn’t be here at the lodge at all. Anywhere was better than this. He glanced down at the baby, who was wiggling in his arms and babbling sweet, nonsense syllables that reminded Nate of the call of a dove. Gracie leaned her whole tiny frame toward the woman behind the desk, her arms outstretched to the lady. To Nate’s surprise, the baby was smiling—the first time he could remember seeing Gracie smile since her parents had passed. He swallowed past the lump in his throat. Gracie certainly never smiled at him that way. Nate wrapped his other arm around the baby and pulled her close to his shoulder, feeling oddly possessive of the still-wiggling infant, who protested audibly at his restrictive action. The clerk had, perhaps instinctively, reached toward the baby, but when Nate adjusted Gracie onto his shoulder, the woman dropped her arms, choosing instead to reach for a large date book on the counter and flip through the pages to the appropriate date. “What name is your reservation under?” she queried in a soft, sweet voice that matched her looks exactly. “I—er—don’t have a reservation,” Nate stammered, thrown off by her question. The woman’s smile wavered. “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. We don’t take walk-ins. Do you have someone staying at the physical rehab center? I can put your name on our waiting list. I know it’s around here somewhere.” She fumbled around the desk, rifling through piles of papers in search of the elusive file. “I’m sorry if I appear disorganized. I don’t usually run the desk.” “That’s okay, ma’am. I’m just here to see Vince,” Nate informed her. “Could you get him for me?” “I’m sorry, sir,” she apologized again. “Mr. Morningway asked not to be disturbed. Would you like to leave him a message?” Mr. Morningway? Nate frowned and shook his head to dislodge the uncomfortable image which had formed there, the caricature melding of his pop’s and brother’s faces. His brother was getting formal in his old age, two years older than Nate’s own twenty-eight years. “He’ll want to see me,” Nate insisted. The woman glanced uncertainly over her shoulder toward the back office. Smiling inwardly, Nate was about to give his name when a harried-looking Vince slipped behind the booth, pushing his rectangular glasses up on his nose and then scrubbing a hand through his already ruffled hair. A surprising thatch of gray fell across his forehead, a shockingly light streak through his otherwise dark brown hair. “Is there a problem out here?” Vince queried the woman before he spotted Nate. Nate could tell the very moment his elder brother saw him, as Vince’s face creased into a frown, his brow furrowed. Nate smiled, but Vince only grunted and continued to glower. “Hello, brother,” Nate said, ignoring Vince’s sour-lipped expression. “Nate,” Vince replied, his blue eyes narrowing and shifting between Nate and little Gracie. Leaning close to the baby to inhale her sweet, unique and somehow calming scent, Nate fidgeted, waiting for Vince to take the lead. Even after all these years away from the lodge and his brother, Vince somehow unsettled him, which only served to annoy Nate more. The good son glowering at the black sheep of the family. Nate couldn’t help but think this whole idea was a gigantic mistake and wondered for the hundredth time why he had decided to come. “What are you doing here?” Vince asked after a long pause. His voice was a severe monotone that Nate remembered well. “This is my home, too,” Nate reminded him gruffly, though that wasn’t completely true. Morningway Lodge had been his childhood home, but he’d been gone for nearly ten years now. And here he stood, lingering at the front desk like a regular patron. It was hardly the same thing. “Your home?” the woman standing next to Vince echoed, her voice laced with surprise. “You never told me you had a brother, Vince.” “This was your home, Nate,” Vince said, glancing between Nate and the woman at his side and shrugging apologetically to her before turning his gaze back on Nate. “You left, remember?” Nate did remember. And he hadn’t regretted it for a single moment. He had his reasons for leaving, and Vince of all people knew what they were. “Jessica, this is my brother, Nate. Nate, Jessica,” Vince offered curtly, almost as an afterthought. Nate nodded at Jessica, wishing the woman wasn’t present to hear this interchange between him and his brother. It was humiliating. Grasping in desperation, Nate switched tactics. He didn’t want to argue with Vince, especially in front of a woman who was nothing more than a stranger to him. “Don’t you want to meet your new niece?” Vince’s expression instantly went from angry to astonished, his eyes widening to enormous proportions as he looked at the baby with new eyes. His mouth opened and closed several times without sound. “My what?” Vince squeaked, his voice a good octave over its usual deep tone. Nate chuckled. He hadn’t planned to spring this news on his brother in quite this way, but it was worth it just to see the look on his face. “Your niece. Vince, this is Gracie.” “I didn’t know you had a child,” Vince grated, but he reached out a tentative finger, which Gracie promptly clasped and pulled toward her mouth. Vince smiled at the baby. “She’s not mine,” Nate amended. “I mean, she’s mine. But she’s not mine.” Vince’s eyebrow shot up in surprise. He reached for Gracie, softly cooing to her. Nate was surprised at how easily and naturally Vince held little Gracie. Nate always felt like a big, uncoordinated gorilla with the baby in his arms. He shrugged as emotion welled in his throat. Explaining the situation to Vince was going to be the most difficult part of an entirely excruciating exchange. “Hi there,” Vince said, directing his words to the baby. “I’m your uncle Vince. I’m afraid your daddy didn’t tell me anything about you.” Daddy. Nate wasn’t sure he was ready for that word yet—or if he ever would be. “Like I said, she’s not mine. She is my friend Ezra’s daughter. Ezra was my battle buddy in the marines—and my best friend. He had my back in Iraq. I would be dead a dozen times over if it wasn’t for him.” Nate paused when his voice cracked. Shaking his head, he cleared his throat and tried again. “When Gracie was born, Ezra and his wife, Tamyra, asked me to be Gracie’s godfather. Two weeks ago, Ezra and Tamyra were involved in a fatal car accident. Tamyra died on the scene. Ezra was in critical condition for twenty-four hours before he passed.” Vince frowned, his blue eyes surprisingly empathetic. “I’m sorry to hear it.” When Nate didn’t immediately continue his story, Vince pinched his lips together for a moment, debating, Nate thought, on whether or not to ask the question that was obviously plaguing him. “I still don’t understand. Why do you have Gracie?” “I was at Ezra’s side when he passed on,” Nate explained tightly, absently brushing Gracie’s dark, curly hair back from her forehead. He felt the need to touch the baby even as Vince continued to hold her. “Ezra was an only child, as was Tamyra. He…” he swallowed hard “…asked me to raise her.” Vince whistled low and shook his head. “Wow. That’s quite a story.” He kissed Gracie’s forehead. “But I have to ask—why didn’t you just tell him you wouldn’t do it? I’m sure you’ll agree you aren’t exactly father material, Nate.” The woman laid a hand on Vince’s forearm as if to restrain him. Her gaze darted to Nate before she flashed Vince a cautionary warning glance. A nice gesture, Nate thought sardonically, but decades too late. He glared at Vince. Nate privately agreed with his brother’s assessment of his character, but he still didn’t like it that Vince had voiced his opinion aloud, especially with a beautiful, smiling stranger present. Besides, the man Nate was now didn’t even remotely resemble the boy who’d run off and joined the U.S. Marines ten years ago. It took him a moment to collect his thoughts enough to voice them. He could argue, but really, what was the point? Vince wasn’t going to change his mind. “Be that as it may,” Nate growled at last, “it was Ezra’s dying wish that I take Gracie’s guardianship. They even wrote me into their will. To be honest, I’m not sure there were any other living relatives who could take Gracie. The bottom line is that I made Ezra a promise, and I’m not going to go back on it.” Vince scoffed and shook his head again. “That would be a first.” “Vince,” Nate warned with a hiss, his eyes narrowing. “Lay off.” How dare his brother question his honor? Nate was a marine now. Or at least he had been. He’d been honorably discharged at the end of his last tour of duty in order to take care of Gracie. It had been his own decision. The life of a military single father wasn’t what he wanted for the baby girl. Besides, he didn’t know how he would be able to properly care for Gracie if he was gone all the time. He finally had the time and opportunity to return to his childhood home and see his ailing father, and at the time, it had seemed the right thing to do. Now he doubted his own wisdom. His father no doubt expected the worst from him, and would not care one way or the other whether Nate showed up. Why was he trying so hard? Because, he mentally amended, answering his own question, it was the right thing to do. And Nate respected himself, even if his family didn’t extend him the same courtesy. Nate eyed Jessica’s hand, which was still on Vince’s forearm. Maybe the best thing to do was just change the subject. “Did you get married and forget to send me the invitation?” Jessica colored brightly and withdrew her hand from Vince’s arm as if she’d touched a burning stove top. Nate couldn’t help but chuckle at the mortified expression on her face. Vince just rolled his eyes and snorted. “Hardly. When would I have had time to get married? I can’t even make time to date. You left me to take care of everything around here, remember? I didn’t have the luxury of doing whatever I wanted with my life the way you did, bro. I still don’t.” Bitterness rolled off of every syllable. Nate clenched his fist. So Vince viewed him as a problem already, did he? Why was Nate surprised? He surreptitiously glanced at his watch. He had only been here for five minutes. Vince hadn’t changed one bit since Nate had left all those years ago. Nothing had changed. Chapter Two Nate wanted to punch the sneer right off his brother’s face, but he restrained himself, with effort. Maybe later, when Jessica wasn’t there to watch. Vince smiled at Jessica and shrugged an unspoken apology to her, and then slipped the suddenly fussy baby into her arms. Nate would normally have felt a bit uncomfortable with a stranger holding the baby, but he observed the natural way the woman cuddled Gracie to her shoulder and wished he had some of whatever instinct it was that made some people so easy around babies. The woman closed her eyes and tucked her chin close to Gracie’s curly head. Jessica smiled, and then frowned, and then smiled again. What was up with that? “Jessica runs the day care center down the road,” Vince explained with a wave of his hand, as if he were brushing off the question Nate hadn’t even thought to ask. “You’ll no doubt need some assistance with Gracie here, and no one knows children better than Jessica Sabin.” Nate opened his mouth to argue and then closed it again. His gaze slid back to the pretty blond-haired woman at Vince’s side, who was now cuddling baby Gracie in the curve of her arm and murmuring in pleasant undertones. Nate was hesitant to admit Vince might be right, but the way the pretty woman immediately calmed the fussy baby did much to persuade him. There was no denying it. He did need help with Gracie. That was a fact. “Thanks,” he said at last, casting Jess half a grin. “I appreciate the offer.” Vince nodded, looking pleased with himself. “Do you want me to go get Pop? I’m sure he’ll want to know you’re home. And I know he’ll want to meet the baby.” Nate shook his head fiercely. He knew he had to face his father sooner or later, but he was definitely leaning toward later. He was under enough stress without confronting Pop. “No. I don’t want him to know I’m here, Vince. At least, not yet.” When Nate saw his father again, he wanted it to be on his own terms. In his own good time. He leveled his gaze on his brother. “Promise me you won’t say anything to him.” Vince arched his eyebrow and shrugged. “Whatever floats your boat. I won’t say anything. But you need to go see him. When you’re ready.” Nate scowled at his brother. All his life, Vince had ordered him around. Why had he expected things to be different now? He sighed inwardly. He hadn’t really expected change, and that saddened him more than anything. “Where are you staying, again?” Vince asked in what Nate thought was an overt attempt to steer the subject to more neutral ground. Nate shrugged and grimaced. “I didn’t say,” he murmured. “Here at the lodge, I hope. Unless, of course, that’s an inconvenience to you.” Nate thought the look on Vince’s face was clear affirmation that Nate was, in fact, a considerable inconvenience to his elder brother, but Vince’s soft words belied his expression. “As you pointed out, this is your home. You are always welcome here. Your old cabin is still waiting for you.” Vince hadn’t rented out Nate’s old cabin? That came as an overwhelming surprise to him. Desperate to affirm his independence, Nate had moved into his own cabin and away from the family quarters in the lodge on his sixteenth birthday. He’d selfishly not cared how his family felt about it. Yet Vince had kept the cabin intact and waiting for him, at his own loss, for Nate knew Vince could have been cashing in by renting the cabin out to guests. Yet he hadn’t. Why? He shook his head. Not wanting to think too much on what that might mean, he turned his attention to the smiling woman by Vince’s side. “Jess,” Nate offered, nodding his head toward the woman and reaching his hands out for Gracie. He suddenly and inexplicably wanted the infant back in his arms, even if it felt awkward, and probably looked worse. “I can take the baby now.” “It’s Jessica,” she corrected, only briefly glancing at Nate before her gaze returned to the baby, whom she didn’t immediately relinquish. “What can I do to help?” “Not a thing, ma’am,” Nate snapped impatiently, then winced at his own harsh tone. With Vince glowering at him, he felt as if he was on trial, and all because, as Vince had said, Nate wasn’t exactly daddy material. But he would learn to be. And quickly. He was nothing if not determined. “Sorry,” he apologized gruffly, but that didn’t stop him from scooping Gracie back into his arms. He kissed the baby’s soft cheek, wishing she would smile at him as she did at Jess. It didn’t seem fair to Nate that Gracie started squirming and protesting the moment she was back in his arms, squawking and reaching out for a woman she had only just met, rather than wanting to be in her own guardian’s arms. Not that Nate could blame her. Jess shrugged. “No problem.” “Thank you, anyway,” he continued, trying to take the edge off his earlier tone, “but I’m sure Gracie and I will get along just fine on our own, at least for right now. We’ll see how it goes.” Vince barked out a laugh and shook his head in disbelief. “Oh, right, little brother. You have been taking care of babies all your life.” “Well, no, but…” “You do know she needs a diaper change?” Jess asked, arching one golden eyebrow and grinning wryly. Nate might have taken offense, but her large brown eyes radiated kindness. “I—er, well of course I know,” Nate said, patting Gracie on her plump behind. In truth, he hadn’t noticed until Jess brought it to his attention. What Nate knew about babies could fit onto the head of a pin. That was one problem he was going to have to fix, and fast. “Would you like me to change her for you?” Jess asked with a polite smile. Her gaze was steeped in amusement, but Nate couldn’t argue. A rough-cut marine holding a tiny baby girl had to look fairly humorous to anyone’s eyes, especially to this day care director, who no doubt took care of babies every day. He shook his head before he could think better of it. “I’ve got it. Thanks.” “You’re sure?” Jess queried. Nate shook his head again. “I’ll just go over—” He hesitated, looking around the lodge’s day room. No thought presented itself that would reasonably complete his sentence, so he let it dangle as awkwardly as the baby squirming in his arms. “The sofa, perhaps?” she suggested. This time Nate was certain he heard a little teasing in her tone, not that he could blame her. “Right. The couch.” He moved toward the sofa as he spoke, not wanting to make eye contact with either Jess or Vince. “Do you have a changing pad?” Jess asked from directly behind his left shoulder. Nate couldn’t remember what he had in the diaper bag, but by the weight of it, he was positive he’d packed everything, including the kitchen sink. He’d certainly cleaned out the infant shelves of the baby store where he’d stopped to pick up necessary baby items on his trip to Colorado. Settling himself on the couch, Nate propped Gracie on his knee and reached for the diaper bag. Changing pad. Changing pad. What did a changing pad look like? Chuckling, Jess seated herself next to Nate. “Here you go,” she said, pointing to a folded piece of vinyl. When Nate didn’t move fast enough, Jess snatched up the changing pad and unfolded it on the surface of the couch, then gently removed Gracie from Nate’s arm and arranged her on the surface. “Diaper?” she queried, lifting an open palm. Nate knew what that was, anyway. He handed her a fresh diaper and the box of wipes he’d purchased. He belatedly realized he was allowing the woman to take over, but he brushed it off, knowing it would be useful to watch an expert change Gracie’s diaper for once, and certainly the baby would appreciate it. His own attempts to change the infant during the drive to Colorado were questionable at best, to which Gracie’s current saggy baggies attested. And he hadn’t even known about the changing pad. He’d just changed her on a blanket. Jess had Gracie’s diaper off in moments, despite how the baby girl wiggled and kicked. Her soft, sweet voice affected Nate more than he cared to admit, so it wasn’t any surprise to him that Gracie responded with happy smiles and coos. He just wished the baby girl would respond to him that way. “Oh, you poor little thing,” Jessica told the wriggling infant, before glancing back at Nate. He might be considered handsome in a rough-cut sort of way, with his military-short light brown hair and gold-flecked eyes, but he obviously knew nothing about taking care of a baby. “What?” Nate queried. Jessica thought he sounded slightly defensive, and that, for some reason, embarrassed her. She felt her face warm under his intense gaze, hating that she was so easily ruffled. “Gracie has a diaper rash.” She tried not to make it sound like an accusation, but thought it probably sounded like one, regardless. Her face went from warm to burning hot, and she was concerned that her countenance would reflect how she was feeling inside. She had to be as red as a cherry. Pursing her lips, she deliberately softened her next words. “Do you have any ointment?” “Ointment,” Nate repeated, digging haplessly through the diaper bag. “What exactly am I looking for?” “A tube, like toothpaste,” Jessica said with a laugh. Now that she wasn’t the only one flustered, she could relax about it. Nate continued his search, but to no avail. After a moment he gave up rummaging and shrugged at her. “I don’t think I have any,” he admitted at wryly. He flashed Jessica a rueful grin. “I’m afraid I’m not as armed and organized as I need to be. I didn’t know what Gracie would need, so I thought I bought a little bit of everything I could find. Obviously I missed something.” “Babies require a lot of gear,” Jessica informed him, efficiently wrapping Gracie in a clean diaper with the ease of experience. “I’d be happy to go into Boulder with you tomorrow to help you stock up on basic supplies.” Nate flashed her a lopsided smile. He was a handsome man, she thought again. If she were looking for that sort of thing. Which she definitely wasn’t. She wasn’t looking for any kind of man at all—now or ever. Military men included, even if they looked ridiculously heartwarming and adorable as they toted around cute little baby girls. Especially if they toted around cute little baby girls. Even the thought choked her up emotionally, and she was immediately on the defensive. “In the meantime,” she suggested, refusing to dwell on the past and reluctantly turning her mind back to the problem at hand, “we need to do something for Gracie’s rash. I think I have some petroleum jelly back at my cabin. That will do in a pinch.” “Petroleum jelly? I would never have thought of that,” he admitted with a low whistle and a shake of his head. “I’m definitely a newbie.” He laughed, obviously comfortable enough with himself to smile at his own weaknesses. Jessica admired that, and wished her own personality was more like that. “And there are no doubt many things I haven’t thought of, where a baby is concerned. Like what I’m going to do with her while I am out looking for a job, for starters.” “We have an opening at the day care,” Jessica replied, jumping in more quickly than she should have. She had her reasons for being hesitant, yet her mouth opened before her brain had a chance to get in edge-wise. But as it was too late to take back the words, she continued. “I’d be happy to care for Gracie on weekdays if you want to drop her by.” Nate smiled again, at once both a charming and disarming gesture. “I’ll do that.” No, no, no, no, no! the voice inside of her railed. Not now. Not this baby, who reminded her all too much of a similar tiny, smiling infant; one little baby she would never forget. She had come to Morningway Lodge in part to escape from her memories, not indulge them with someone else’s baby. And though she’d cared for several infants since taking the position here, none had affected her the way Gracie had, from the first moment Jessica had seen her. The memories were still far too painfully fresh and easily goaded to the forefront of her mind. Her own sweet baby, Elizabeth, had had big brown eyes and curly black hair, as well. Maybe that was it. Maybe it was that the children in her day care, who belonged to the families who resided at Morningway Lodge while their loved ones recuperated at the nearby physical rehabilitation hospital, never stayed around for more than a few months. It was safe, relatively, not to get emotionally involved. But Nate—and Gracie—were Morningways. They could be around forever. By offering to help Nate Morningway, she realized with a sharp stab of pain to her heart, she had potentially just become her own worst enemy. Chapter Three Nate never appeared. Jessica stared out the large bay window overlooking the front side of the day care and sighed. Absently she noted the long shadows of the pine trees that signaled that the sun would soon be setting. Friday afternoon, and not a word from Nate, other than the time he’d called—at the last minute—and canceled their trip to the baby store in Boulder. In the week since, he’d not once brought Gracie by the day care. In point of fact, Jessica hadn’t seen Nate—or Gracie—at all. Not even in passing. She didn’t know why it bothered her, but it did nonetheless. Actually, she knew exactly why it bothered her. Gracie. That little baby girl had captured Jessica’s heart the moment Nate had walked into the lodge with her in his arms. What a sweetheart. Melancholy drifted over her like a black storm cloud and burst into rain, flooding through her heart and leaving her limbs weak. Jessica couldn’t deny the fact that Gracie reminded her of Elizabeth. There wasn’t a single day that went by that Jessica didn’t think of Elizabeth and weep, not in two years. Every single day and night since eight-month-old Elizabeth’s unexpected death from SIDS, Jessica’s arms and heart had painfully ached for the child. That was why, she supposed, that as much as it had hurt, holding Gracie had been such a blessing. Babies were God’s special gift, even those that only stayed on this earth a short while. And there was just something about Gracie, something special that set her apart. Something that felt different than her experiences with the other babies she’d cared for since she’d taken the position as director of the day care at Morningway Lodge nearly a year earlier. Why hadn’t Nate brought Gracie by? For better—or more likely for worse—Jessica had looked forward to interacting with the sweet baby girl every day at the day care. Well, she realized as she finished putting toys back in the bin and surveying the empty toddler room at the day care, there was one way to find out. She would swing by Nate’s cabin on her way home from work and find out what was keeping the man. And if she got to spend a little time with Gracie, that was a plus. After locking up, she headed straight to Nate’s cabin, walking quickly and with purpose. She didn’t want to give herself time to talk herself out of it, and maybe never see the baby again. Gah! she thought as she finally stood on the doorstep of Nate’s cabin. This was awkward, especially for a self-proclaimed introvert like Jessica. She could definitely be accused of being a worrywort. But a busybody? Not so much. Given the pros and cons of her current actions, the list was hardly equal. There were more than enough reasons for her to turn herself around right now and walk away. No harm done, right? With a quiet murmur and a shake of her head, Jessica raised her hand and knocked on the screen door. Gracie might need her, she reminded herself. The baby probably needed her, with only an inexperienced and obviously proud-to-a-fault marine taking care of her. The door behind the screen was open. When no one immediately answered her knock, Jessica cupped her hand to her forehead to block the glare of the evening sunshine and peered inside. “Hello? Mr. Morningway?” she called softly, her heart loudly humming in her ears. “It’s Jessica Sabin from the day care.” “Door is open, Jess,” called Nate’s coarse, disembodied voice. “In the kitchen. And please. It’s Nate. Mr. Morningway is my pop—or my brother.” Jessica let herself in, fighting herself every step of the way. This was so far out of her comfort zone it wasn’t even funny, but she wouldn’t let that stop her. It wasn’t the first time, and she was certain it wouldn’t be the last, though it didn’t help that Nate was such an incredibly handsome man. Okay, that was enough of that kind of thinking. She was going to talk herself out of this yet. “Ay-uh, ay-uh, ay-uh,” Gracie screeched when Jessica entered the kitchen. She banged her fists repeatedly on the tray in a staccato rhythm. The baby was seated in her high chair and facing the door. Nate sat with his back to Jessica, an infant spoon in one hand and a jar of pureed carrots in the other. He didn’t look around when she entered the kitchen, his gaze solely focused on his infant ward. “One more bite,” he coaxed, holding the spoon to Gracie’s tiny mouth. “Come on now, girl. Open wide and say ah.” “Ah, ah,” Gracie complied, giving Jessica a wide, toothless grin. She flapped her arms wildly and banged her little fists on the high chair with excited abandon. Jessica had never felt so welcome as she did from the baby’s innocent greeting. “Well, she’s glad to see you,” Nate commented, sounding at once amused and annoyed. Taking advantage of Gracie’s open mouth, he slipped a spoonful of carrots between her lips. “Ah-bbbb,” said baby Gracie. “Ack!” exclaimed Nate as Gracie’s enthusiastic raspberry covered his olive-green T-shirt with orange spots. Jessica couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled from her chest. “Sure, sure. Feel free to laugh.” Nate shot Jessica a faux glare across his shoulder, his features crinkled in distaste but a wry, self-deprecating grin on his lips that belied his tone. Jessica clapped a hand over her mouth, but not before another giggle escaped. “I’m sorry,” she apologized, her shoulders heaving from the hopeless effort of restraining her laughter. “It’s just that you look so—” “Foolish?” he offered, joining his own laughter with hers. She was going to say cute, she realized, feeling a blush rise to her cheeks. And just how would that have sounded? To cover her own embarrassment, Jessica reached for the baby wipes on the table and methodically scrubbed Gracie’s face and hands before lifting the infant from the chair and into her arms. “Feeding this baby is way harder than it looks,” Nate observed wryly. “I’d rather face an IED.” “IED?” Jessica queried. Leaning in close to Gracie’s cheek, Jessica inhaled deeply. She could never quite get enough of the just-bathed lotion smell that was distinctive to babies. “Improvised explosive device,” Nate clarified. “A homemade bomb.” “You defused bombs in the marines?” “That was my specialty. I suspect it doesn’t translate well into civilian life, though. One thing I know for certain—my training is of absolutely no use in learning to take care of Gracie.” Jessica chuckled softly. “No, I don’t suppose it is. I’ll pray for you, though.” “I—er—just let me go change my shirt real quick,” Nate said before beelining it straight out of the kitchen. “I’ll only be a moment,” he tossed over his shoulder as he went. Jessica didn’t miss Nate’s discomfort at her mention of prayer, but her faith was an intricate part of who she was. God had pulled her out of the mire of her own desperation, and she couldn’t help but be vocal about her love for Christ now. She wondered about Nate’s faith—or lack thereof. His brother, Vince, was a committed Christian. None of your business, she reminded herself once again, frowning. Still, she didn’t mind the opportunity to regain her equilibrium that Nate’s quick exit had afforded her. She was grateful for a moment to step back and catch her breath, emotionally speaking. She could be in deep water here. Mentally, she acknowledged her physical attraction to Nate and recognized it for what it was, and then determined within herself to let it go. As long as she didn’t dwell on it, there was no harm, no foul, she told herself resolutely. There was no way she was going to submit herself to heartbreak again in this lifetime. Anyway, the only reason that Nate appeared so adorable to Jessica was his association with baby Gracie. Or at least that was what she was going to keep telling herself. Over and over again, if necessary. Jessica turned her attention to Gracie, noting that she wasn’t the only one to appear flushed—Gracie’s cheeks were a rosy red. Alarms blared in Jessica’s head and her heartbeat picked up tempo as she pressed the back side of her fingers to the baby’s warm face. “Nate?” she called hesitantly. “Yep?” he replied from just behind her. She whirled around, her gaze reaching only to the middle of Nate’s well-built chest. His height unnerved her all the more. She tilted her head up to make eye contact with him. “Do you have a thermometer?” she queried, patting Gracie gently on the back to reassure herself as much as the baby. “I think I do,” Nate said, and then frowned. “Why? Is Gracie sick?” Jessica shook her head and tried to smile reassuringly. “She feels a little warm, but I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.” “Should I call the doctor?” “No,” she assured him, keeping her voice calm and level. “Babies often run mild fevers when they are teething. That’s probably all it is.” One corner of Nate’s mouth tipped up in a half grin and he shook his hand in mock pain. “She’s teething, all right. For a little nipper with bare gums, she sure can pack a punch. And I noticed she’s been drooling a lot more these past couple of days.” “Sounds normal,” Jessica agreed, fighting the stinging lump of emotion growing in her throat. Her own baby, Elizabeth, had only just cut her first two bottom teeth when— “Here we go,” Nate said, fishing a digital thermometer out of the diaper bag. “How do you keep this thing in her mouth?” Jessica chuckled despite herself. “That would be an interesting trick. I’d like to see you try.” She winked. “Actually, we’re going to put it under her arm.” With that, Jessica sat in the chair Nate had abandoned and gently placed the thermometer under the baby’s shoulder. Gracie squirmed and verbally protested at being held so snugly, but Jessica held her tight and kept her amused by babbling baby talk at her, repeating whatever random sounds Gracie made. “I’m glad that’s you and not me,” Nate said, sitting down next to Jessica and running a palm over Gracie’s downy hair. “She’s already mad enough at me as it is, for trying to slip her some carrots.” “Fruit is much sweeter and tastier than vegetables,” Jessica agreed, smiling at Nate. “As a baby or as an adult.” Nate laughed. “Don’t let Gracie hear you say that, or I’ll never be able to feed her anything more than peaches and bananas.” “It’ll get easier,” Jessica assured him. “It just takes time and patience.” “And a lot of T-shirts.” Jessica chuckled. Nate had changed one olive-colored T-shirt for another. She wondered if the marine had any other color in his wardrobe. The thermometer beeped and, unconsciously holding her breath, Jessica peered at the results. Nate leaned forward to look with her. “Ninety-nine-point-four,” Jessica read aloud. “Just remember, when you take a baby’s temperature under her arm, you need to add a degree, so that makes it one-hundred-point-four.” “Then she does have a fever,” Nate said in alarm, his brow furrowed. “Only a mild one. She’s probably teething, as I mentioned earlier. But you should keep an eye on her, just in case.” “I will,” Nate vowed. “Which, as it happens, brings me to the reason I stopped by in the first place.” Nate arched an eyebrow as Jessica slid Gracie from her arms to his. “I was under the impression you were going to make use of the day care while you were out job hunting. I started to worry when you never showed.” “Oh, that.” Nate shrugged and kissed a wiggling Gracie on the forehead before lowering her into the playpen in the corner of the kitchen, where it was visible not only in the kitchen, but from the living room, as well. “Yes, well, I’ve had a change of heart.” “How is that?” Jessica was surprised at how her emotions plummeted at Nate’s words. She told herself repeatedly that it was none of her business what Nate did with Gracie. While that was probably true, she still cared—maybe too much. “I decided not to look for a job right away,” Nate explained. “I put away most of the money I made when I was in the marines, so I have enough to live off—for now, anyway. I’m not sure if I’m going to be staying around long enough to make it worthwhile for me to pursue anything permanent.” “I see,” Jessica said, though she didn’t. And she wasn’t about to analyze the way her heart dropped at Nate’s indication that he wouldn’t be around for long. “Becoming Gracie’s guardian is a big adjustment for me. I’m like any parent with an infant, I guess, only I didn’t have nine months to prepare for her arrival, so I’m working on a curve.” “I imagine it’s a big change for you from being a single man in the military.” Jessica paused thoughtfully and then asked the question that was plaguing her. “If you aren’t planning to stay at Morningway Lodge, then where will you go?” Nate snorted. “Anywhere but here.” Jessica wanted to question Nate further about his negative feelings toward the lodge, but she wasn’t sure he’d be keen on her poking her nose into his business any more than she already had. She sighed. “I love it here. It’s so quiet and peaceful compared to the ruckus of a big city. You can see and hear God all around you.” Nate stared at Jess, his gaze wide. She spoke so freely about God, as if she was intimately acquainted with Him. It was the way his mother had always spoken of the Almighty, Nate remembered, a feeling of nostalgia washing over him. But Nate wondered at such naivet?, such sweet and innocent belief as these women shared. He’d seen the ravages of war firsthand. He knew better than to believe in fairy tales. He nearly blurted out that he wasn’t looking for God, but caught himself before he said the words out loud and couldn’t take them back. There was no sense being rude, especially since her faith was clearly very dear to her. He retreated to his usual mode of dealing with issues he didn’t really want to address—he clammed up. Jess didn’t appear to notice his sudden silence, and continued thoughtfully. “Growing up, I lived in Los Angeles. Far too much noise and pollution for me. I’d rather have the clear, beautiful Rocky Mountains any day of the week, thank you very much.” “Is your family still in California?” She hesitated and her smile faltered, then dropped. Her gaze became distant for a moment, as if she had traveled in her mind to some other time or place; but at length she nodded. Nate had the impression he’d just intruded where he was not wanted. There was much Jess was not telling him, but he would not presume to pry based on their very short acquaintance. He didn’t care for others disrespecting his privacy, and he wasn’t going to disrupt her. He thought the best thing to do would be to change the subject. Baby Gracie’s soft babbling had turned to crying, so he reached into the playpen and plucked her into his arms. She quieted at his touch, but her eyelids were heavy and drooping. “Gracie needs a nap,” he commented, bouncing the little girl on his shoulder to soothe her as he crooned. “Don’t you, sweetie pie?” “Looks like,” Jess agreed. “She won’t go down unless I rock her,” Nate said, nodding his head toward the small living room, where an old wooden rocking chair stood in one corner. “May I?” Jess asked softly. “Be my guest.” Nate handed Gracie off to Jess, who seated herself in the rocker and began to hum a quiet lullaby. Even after a week with the baby, Nate still wasn’t comfortable when Gracie was fussy. He marveled at how quickly Gracie settled down in Jess’s arms. The woman was a natural with children. He leaned his shoulder on the door frame separating the kitchen from the living area and folded his arms across his chest. There was something just right in the way Jess held the baby, he observed; even Gracie instinctively reacted to it. Nate smiled at the pretty picture Jess and the baby made. Like a little family, almost. Ezra would have been glad to see it, he thought with a mixture of joyfulness and sorrow. “You’ll be a wonderful mother to your own child someday,” he murmured. It was the highest compliment Nate could think to give her, so he was stunned at her reaction. She turned eight shades of rose before her face bled to a deathly white. “Are you okay?” he asked when she shot to her feet, swaying precariously. Her grip on Gracie was firm, but he could see that she was shaking. “I—I’m sorry,” she stammered, thrusting the baby at him. “I have to go. Now.” With Gracie wiggling and kicking in his arms, Nate watched helplessly as Jess bolted out the front door and up the path leading away from his cabin. She was running—literally running—away. He shook his head, bemused. What had he said that had set her off that way? And more to the point, he thought perplexedly, how was he going to fix it? Jessica’s cabin was only a few doors down from Nate’s, though it was a steady, uphill climb. She walked—nearly ran—the distance in half the time it usually would have taken her. By the time she entered the emotional haven of her own small cabin, her chest was heaving and she was gasping for air. Her heart was racing so quickly she could hear it pounding in her ears, but it wasn’t only—or even mostly—the physical exertion causing the excruciating pain in her chest. She was embarrassed and shamed by her actions with Nate, running out on him as she had, without a single word of explanation. It was just that Nate’s off-the-cuff comment had hit her right between the eyes. He couldn’t possibly have known what he was saying, and he had most certainly meant his observation as a compliment. Jessica hadn’t been prepared for the maelstrom of emotions that barraged her when she once again held baby Gracie in her arms. The scene had somehow transformed into something pseudo-intimate—domestic—between the three of them. Nate. Jessica. Gracie. A home and a family had once been the greatest desire of Jessica’s heart. But she’d already gone that route, and with devastating results. If she was now alone in the world, it was because she wanted it that way. As much as she loved being around the baby—or more accurately because she loved being around the baby—it would be better for all concerned if she altogether avoided Gracie and her handsome marine guardian. If she was not careful, her heart would be shattered again, perhaps this time beyond repair. No, Jessica thought, not even consciously aware she was clenching her fists. She couldn’t—wouldn’t—let it happen again. Chapter Four After Nate put Gracie down for a nap, he slung a dish towel over his shoulder and filled the kitchen sink with hot, soapy water. That was another thing about caring for an infant—the amount of dishes and laundry increased exponentially with the addition of just that one tiny baby girl. He had always had simple needs. This was way out of his realm of experience. Nate set to work scrubbing out baby bottles and bowls of caked-on baby cereal, but his mind was quick to wander back to earlier that afternoon, and the bizarre way Jess had acted. What was with the woman, anyway? Nate had noticed her odd behavior from the first time they’d met—the on-again, off-again, hot/cold way Jess acted whenever she was around him. Or perhaps more to the point, when she was around Gracie. The worst part, though, and the thing, if he was being honest with himself, that stymied Nate the most, wasn’t Jessica’s unfathomable actions at all. He might not yet understand it, but he could explain it away fairly simply. There must be a reasonable, rational explanation for whatever it was that was bothering her, and eventually, he would figure out what that reason was. But at the moment, he was dwelling on something else entirely—that flash of time frozen in his mind when the three of them were together in the living room. Jessica’s presence had formed it into a homey, domestic atmosphere unlike anything Nate had ever experienced before. Well, maybe that description was pushing it. His cabin was no more than bachelor’s quarters littered with a brand-new smattering of baby items. Not exactly what anyone would describe as homey. But it wasn’t so much how the situation had looked. It was how it had felt. And Nate really liked that feeling. He realized he was daydreaming and snorted at his own silly behavior. What was he thinking? He used the dish towel to scrub his face and force his mind back to the present. His cheeks carried a week’s growth of beard on them—because, for the first time in ten years, he could go without shaving. He shook his head. He’d been alone for far too long to be conjuring up fantasy families in his mind, where none existed in reality. Still, the idea of a family wasn’t completely without merit. Tamyra, Nate remembered, had rounded out Ezra, taken the rough edges off the heretofore certified bachelor. After the wedding, Ezra had been the happiest Nate had ever seen him. And then baby Gracie had come along and added exponentially to their love. She had, Nate realized, completed the picture. He recalled being a little envious of his best friend. True love made life worth living, Ezra had told him a dozen times. But Nate’d had his work and his wanderlust, and that had been enough. At the time. Now everything was different. Not just in his circumstances, either. His heart felt as altered as the difference between a Colorado blizzard and a California summer. His priorities had shifted from thinking only of himself to having someone else as the center of his existence. He had a baby to consider now—a little girl who deserved to be raised in a family with both a father and a mother. Someone like Jess, he realized. A woman who was sweet and caring and who knew how to care for an infant; who would love Gracie the way Nate loved Gracie. As if on cue, the baby made an enormous pterodactyl scream from the playpen, startling Nate and setting his hair on end. He dashed to the playpen and scooped Gracie into his arms. Gracie was hot to the touch. He didn’t need the thermometer to tell she was burning up with fever. Panic immediately coursed through him, stinging his limbs like an explosion of white-hot nails in an IED. Snatching the thermometer from the tabletop, Nate rushed to the rocker and took a seat. He attempted to mimic what Jess had done, placing the tip of the thermometer under the baby’s arm, but it was a lot more difficult than it looked, even if Gracie wasn’t fighting him the way she had with Jess. She wasn’t fighting him, but was staring up at him with her big brown eyes as if pleading with him to make her all better. He didn’t know how. She was frighteningly lethargic. He checked the thermometer, and another surge of panic coursed through him. Gracie was running a fever of one hundred and four degrees. The sound of her cell phone ringing startled Jessica from her sleep. She groaned loudly. She’d nodded off in her easy chair and now her shoulders were stiff and she had a kink in her neck. Stretching her head from side to side to work loose her muscles, she reached for her purse, which she’d haphazardly tossed on the coffee table earlier. Groggily she dug for the still-pealing phone. “Hello?” she said, her voice still a little slurred as she wiped the sleep from her eyes with the palms of her hands. It wasn’t surprising that she’d fallen into a deep, dreamless slumber—ever since she was a child, sleep had been her defense mechanism against stress. Her mind and body simply shut down, giving her the rest needed to face her trials afresh. “Jess?” The one word was laced with so much fear and alarm that Jessica was instantly alert. “Nate? What’s wrong?” “It’s Gracie.” Nate’s anxious, labored breathing set Jessica right on edge, and she gripped the phone more tightly within her grasp. “She spiked a high fever. I don’t know what to do.” “Oh, no!” Jessica inhaled sharply, her whole heart and soul immediately appealing to the Heavenly Father to protect the sweet little baby girl. She tried to quell the rising alarm in her head with little success. “How high?” “One hundred and four degrees. Jess, what should I do?” “I’m on my way over,” she asserted, trying to keep her voice calm and reassuring despite the way her heart was pounding in her head. Adrenaline coursed sharply through her veins, making her tingly and light-headed. Whatever promises she had made herself earlier about not seeing Nate or the baby again flew right out the window as if they had never been. They needed her now. There was no question that she would be there for them, at whatever cost to her own heart. She was already reaching for her coat and sliding her feet into her old hiking boots. Her thumb was poised over the phone’s exit button when Nate spoke again, his voice rushed. “I…I phoned you because…because I didn’t know who else to call,” he stammered. It occurred to Jessica that the obvious choice would be Vince, who was family. Wouldn’t that have made the most sense? Why hadn’t Nate called him? But now was not the time for such questions. She rapidly ticked down the list of vital issues, forcing her mind to concentrate on priority. “Does she have any other symptoms? A sneeze? A cough?” “She’s pulling on her ear and crying,” Nate choked out. “Does that mean anything?” “Okay, listen, Nate,” Jessica said, an instinctive sense of God’s strength and peace enveloping her as she took control of the situation. “You need to get her temperature down.” “How do I do that?” he asked, his voice tight. “I just gave her some more medicine, but it will take some time to see any effect. What else can I do?” Jessica heard Gracie pealing in distress, and her heart turned over. “Hush, baby girl,” Nate crooned. “Uncle Nate’s trying to help you, honey. Jess?” he queried uncertainly. “What do I do?” “Fill the sink with lukewarm water. You need to give her a sponge bath,” Jessica directed. “That’s going to be the fastest and most effective way to bring down her temperature.” “She’s so tiny.” Nate’s taut voice cracked with emotion. “And she’s not going to be happy about that bath. It’s hard to be a parent at times like this.” Jessica realized Nate had referred to himself as Gracie’s godfather, but they both knew he was acting in a much greater capacity. “You have to do what is best for Gracie even if it appears to be hurting her.” “I’ll do what I have to do,” he vowed solemnly, “as long as she gets better.” “She will.” Gracie howled again, her little voice hoarse from screaming. “I have to go,” Nate said. “Of course. Gracie needs your full attention, which you can’t give her while you’re still speaking on the phone with me.” “Yeah,” he agreed. “But, Jess?” “Yes?” “Hurry.” His one word sent a shiver down her spine. “I’m heading out the door right now. “And, Nate?” “Hmm?” “I’m praying for you guys.” She heard the hesitation, and the way Nate quietly cleared his throat. She was on the verge of apologizing when he broke into her thoughts. “I…” Once again he hesitated. “Well, anyway, thank you. For Gracie, I mean.” “Don’t give it another thought,” she assured him. “Just get her bathed.” “I’m already on it,” he promised. And she was already out the door. During the whole ten minutes it took her to rush to Nate’s cabin, Jessica petitioned God for Gracie’s health and safety. She more than most knew the singular pain of losing an infant. She would never wish that kind of agony on anyone, most especially the kind of man who would put his own life on hold in order to care for a baby who was not his own flesh and blood. Jessica prayed for Nate as well, that God would give him comfort and peace. Based on what she knew of Nate, she suspected he was not a Christian. But hadn’t God reached Jessica through just such a tragedy? She prayed it would not take that kind of pain and anguish for Nate to find God. She briefly considered phoning Vince to let him know what was happening with baby Gracie, but she hesitated, and with good reason. Nate had made a pretty clear statement when he’d called Jessica and not Vince; and from their earlier conversations, it was clear to Jessica that there were definite issues between the two brothers. Yet tension or no tension, Vince was Nate’s brother, his family, and Jessica thought he ought to know what was happening with Gracie. She had been acquainted with Vince a good deal longer than Nate, and she had no doubt that Vince would want to be updated. But in the end, she decided against calling Vince and simply focused on getting to Nate’s cabin as quickly as possible. Whatever the situation was between Nate and his brother, she had to respect his wishes, even if they’d never been spoken aloud. Even though it was a downhill hike, it felt like forever before she reached Nate’s cabin. Several times she thought she should have driven, but she’d been certain she could arrive at the cabin just as quickly on foot. Walking, she could hike straight there. The road was winding and out of the way. Finally, she broke through the tree line and spied the cabin in front of her. The front door was open, so she let herself in, not wanting to disturb Gracie on the off chance she was sleeping. She blinked rapidly as her vision slowly adjusted to the darkness of the cabin after having been out in the bright sunshine. Simultaneously, she took in a number of things. Gracie was sound asleep in her playpen, her chubby legs curled under her. Her arm was wrapped around an enormous, well-worn stuffed orange-and-white-striped fish and her little thumb was tucked in her mouth. Jessica noted with thankfulness that the baby appeared to be resting peacefully, her tiny chest rising and falling in a deep, reassuring rhythm. Nate was slumped in a wooden chair he’d pulled close to the playpen, his back to the door and his head buried in his hands. Jessica approached him quietly, not wanting to disturb Gracie’s slumber. He jumped, startled, when Jessica laid her hand on his shoulder. She could feel the tension he was carrying in the knotted muscles of his back. “Hi,” Jessica whispered. “I got here as quick as I could. How is she?” “Jess,” Nate groaned as he stood and turned toward her. “Thank you for coming.” A moment later, he swept her into a hug that knocked the wind from her lungs. He clasped her tightly for a few moments. She felt him shudder deeply a moment before he let her go. Concern, compassion and tenderness flooded through her for this man who’d given up so much to take on the care of baby Gracie. “It’s going to be okay,” she reassured him when he released her. “She’s going to be okay. It looks like she is sleeping soundly now, and we can take comfort that God is watching over her.” Jessica wished her words carried more impact, but internally she knew that just because God was in control and, as Jessica had said, was watching over little Gracie, that didn’t necessarily mean everything would be all right—at least from her incomplete, staring-into-the-mirror-darkly, human perspective. God’s ways, Jessica had painfully learned, were not always man’s ways. But it didn’t hurt to pray. Nate’s face crumpled into dozens of harsh lines, but his gold-flecked eyes held hope. Jessica could see how desperately he wanted to believe her words. His short brown hair was tousled and sticking up every which direction, making him look incongruously and heart-wrenchingly vulnerable next to the muscular strength of the sturdy marine. “In Isaiah there is a beautiful description of Jesus as the Shepherd over His little lambs,” she continued, wanting desperately to comfort Nate. “It goes like this. ‘He shall gather the lambs in His arms and carry them in His bosom,’” she quoted softly. Nate squeezed his eyes shut and Jessica thought the rough-edged marine might be fighting tears. “I hope so,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion. “I really hope so.” Jessica took his hand and led him back to his chair, pushing him gently into his seat before pulling another chair up next to him and seating herself. She reached her arm over the side of the playpen and brushed the backs of her fingers against Gracie’s cheek. The baby’s skin still felt warm, but not alarmingly so. Jessica was almost certain Gracie’s fever was falling. She sighed in relief. “I think her temperature has gone down some.” Nate swallowed hard and nodded. A muscle twitched in the corner of his strong jaw. “The poor little thing screamed so hard when I gave her a sponge bath that she wore herself completely out. She fell asleep right afterward. I don’t mind telling you, she had me scared there for a while.” Jessica struggled for a moment with her own memories, with the sudden way her own baby had been taken from her. Elizabeth had been healthy and happy when Jessica had put her to bed. The next morning she wasn’t breathing. Just like that. Jessica struggled to contain her emotions, to pull the painful memories back behind the iron wall of her will so Nate would not be able to see what she was feeling on her face. This was a different situation. It wasn’t Elizabeth all over again. Babies got fevers. That was just how it was. And it wasn’t necessarily life-threatening. There was no reason for her to panic. Nate and Gracie needed her strength and support right now, she reminded herself sharply. Breathing deeply, she clenched her hands together and fought for all she was worth. Nate’s groan interrupted her turmoil thoughts, jarring her back to the present. “I feel so helpless.” Elbows on his knees, Nate clasped his hands together and leaned his scruffy chin on them. “I just wish there was more I could do,” he admitted roughly. “There is,” Jessica whispered, reaching for Nate’s hand. When he glanced up at her, a question in his eyes, she smiled softly. “We can pray.” Nate stared at her for a moment, and then nodded, his jaw tight. Jessica bowed her head and closed her eyes. “Heavenly Father, we are thankful that Gracie is in Your tender care. Watch over her and keep her safe. Lord, we ask that You restore Gracie to health and give her little body strength to work through this fever. “And be with Nate, Lord. Give him wisdom and peace. Amen.” Jessica looked up and caught Nate staring at her, wide-eyed. She wondered if he had prayed along with her, or merely watched her as she prayed. She felt a little self-conscious for a moment, then brushed it off. What mattered was that she had prayed. And God was good. She prayed once again, silently, this time, that Nate would be able to see the grace of God. Chapter Five Instead of the peace for which Jess had petitioned, Nate was filled with an inexplicable sense of unease. Still seated in a hard-backed kitchen chair placed next to the playpen, his muscles clenched and ached. Stifling a groan, he lifted his arms over his head and stretched from side to side, working the knots and kinks out of his shoulders. He wasn’t the kind of man to just sit around and wait, and every fiber of his being was itching to move. He’d been sitting still far too long, watching the even rise and fall of baby Gracie’s breath as she slept. She hadn’t budged in a couple of hours. Nate didn’t know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, but he took encouragement from the fact that Jess no longer hovered over the baby. In fact, to his surprise, Gracie wasn’t the only one sleeping. Nate’s gaze drifted to the sofa—a two-person love seat, really, as that was all that would fit in the confines of the small cabin—where Jess had curled up and nodded off. Her face had softened during sleep, her arm curled around her neck and a lock of her wavy blond hair lightly brushing her cheek. His brow furrowed when he noticed her lips turning down, as if she were having a bad dream. In the short time Nate had known her, Jess was nearly always smiling. Her radiant grin was the first thing he’d noticed about her, and it bothered him that somehow she’d lost her peace during sleep. His fingers tingled with the unfathomable urge to brush that lock of hair off her cheek and smooth the frown from her lips. Nate had told her it was fine for her to leave, now that the crisis with Gracie appeared to have passed, but Jess wouldn’t hear of it. Her chin, which gave the point to her heart-shaped face, had jutted out stubbornly at the mere suggestion. She was the sweetest, kindest woman he’d ever had the pleasure to know; yet it occurred to him that he might like her to have his back in a fight. Her strength of character, which Nate thought made her faith so vibrant, was remarkable. And, at the moment, much appreciated. Secretly, Nate had been glad of her stubborn insistence that she stay, though he’d never admit it out loud. Gracie might be out of immediate danger, but her temperature had spiked very quickly before. He didn’t want to go through that kind of a scare again. Ever. Not alone, at least. With Jess here, circumstances didn’t feel quite so black. He knew he should be taking the lead from Jess and rest while the baby was sleeping, but try as he might, he couldn’t shut off his brain. Usually he exercised his way to exhaustion, but that was impossible given the circumstances. What he wouldn’t give for a nice, long, head-clearing run. It sure would beat sitting here over-thinking everything. Конец ознакомительного фрагмента. Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес». Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию (https://www.litres.ru/deb-kastner/the-marine-s-baby/?lfrom=688855901) на ЛитРес. Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.