The Cowboy's Baby Blessing

The Cowboy's Baby Blessing Deb Kastner The Rancher’s New FamilyRachel Perez needs a handyman to spruce up her in-home daycare. So when she “wins” ex-soldier Seth Howell in a bachelor auction, she’s glad he can swing a hammer. But when freewheeling Seth suddenly inherits a two-year-old and a sprawling ranch, he’s got to grow up fast. Seth admires Rachel’s kindness and easy way with kids, so he seeks her help in finding his footing as a father. And single-mom Rachel sees how determined Seth is to do right by little Caden. Between his toddler and her teenager, they’ve got plenty of responsibilities. Finding time for love seems out of the question—but soon they’re forging a new family…together.Cowboy Country: Surprise babies lead to unexpected love in Texas. The Rancher’s New Family Rachel Perez needs a handyman to spruce up her in-home day care. So when she “wins” ex-soldier Seth Howell in a bachelor auction, she’s glad he can swing a hammer. But when freewheeling Seth suddenly inherits a two-year-old and a sprawling ranch, he’s got to grow up fast. Seth admires Rachel’s kindness and easy way with kids, so he seeks her help in finding his footing as a father. And single mom Rachel sees how determined Seth is to do right by little Caden. Between his toddler and her teenager, they’ve got plenty of responsibilities. Finding time for love seems out of the question—but soon they’re forging a new family...together. “I’m all Caden’s got.” “You’ve got your family to support you.” “Yes, but—” Panic reared and bucked in Seth’s chest. “Luke and Tracy left me the Hollister ranch, as well. It’s Caden’s legacy. But I don’t know the first thing about running a cattle business. I can’t do this. I can’t be Caden’s daddy. I don’t know how.” “Stand up,” Rachel said, moving to his side. Her voice was strong and determined. “Now, take the baby in your arms.” Seth swallowed hard but tucked a sleeping Caden against his shoulder. The boy seemed to curve right into Seth. The gentle rhythm of the child’s breath against his neck somehow soothed Seth. “What are you feeling?” Rachel asked gently. How did he feel? Nervous. Overwhelmed. Panicked. Devastated. And yet, there was something more hovering just below the surface. He was responsible for this little human being. And even though it meant his entire life had just been turned upside down and backward, there was something somehow...right about holding Caden in his arms. Award-winning author DEB KASTNER writes stories of faith, family and community in a small-town Western setting. Deb’s books contain sigh-worthy heroes and strong heroines facing obstacles that draw them closer to each other and the Lord. She lives in Colorado with her husband and is blessed with three daughters and two grandchildren. She enjoys spoiling her grandkids, movies, music (The Texas Tenors!), singing in the church choir and exploring Colorado on horseback. The Cowboy’s Baby Blessing Deb Kastner www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk) The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth. —Psalms 145:18 To my forever sweetheart, Joe. We’ve been through a lot, you and I, and I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. Every day with you is a great joy, and I’m so blessed by our thirty years together. Here’s to thirty more. Contents Cover (#u5833c62e-f62d-50a9-92ad-aca8d7c5df09) Back Cover Text (#ub53430fc-dbd0-5381-9d6b-4e83ed6bb04d) Introduction (#u6b52f10b-3e7c-563c-971f-66266f4bc5be) About the Author (#u714a661d-6a23-5afe-b12a-f2f3c7e75876) Title Page (#u1bba8089-3ca6-5e20-a3f8-5613948c47ba) Bible Verse (#u4c78bdd9-4dd9-598a-a854-1cb60db6a77b) Dedication (#u2b3e3571-ec4a-53c7-9e49-4af97e293844) Chapter One (#u478f7c46-3166-575b-ac41-df0d020e25c6) Chapter Two (#ued475a10-5833-5926-8d41-125e97f9fbbb) Chapter Three (#ucb384f55-d9ad-541f-a679-2a36e3cabaab) Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo) Dear Reader (#litres_trial_promo) Extract (#litres_trial_promo) Copyright (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter One (#uba9374b8-94e6-5059-8c00-e6647e1611b8) Rachel Perez was looking for a man, not a monkey. And she was most definitely not looking for a date, unlike many of the other single ladies scattered across the lawn at the First Annual Bachelors and Baskets Auction in Serendipity, Texas. What better way to nab themselves a bachelor for romantic reasons than a bachelor auction? But that was so not Rachel. No, not even close. Rachel was in the market for a guy who was handy at fixing things—and she needed him, like, yesterday. She needed someone to tear down the well-used play set in her backyard and replace it with something new and to government specifications. The recertification status of the day care she ran out of her home depended on picking the right man for the job. That was why she was glad that her town had chosen this particular type of “bachelor” auction to raise funds to build a senior center for the town—an auction that wasn’t actually about getting dates with bachelors at all. The Bachelors and Baskets Auction had started out with the idea of hosting only true bachelors, but because the auction was for such an important cause, married men had jumped on the bandwagon, as well. Every man had his own unique skill set to offer to the crowd. Making the auction a full-town event had also opened the bidding to a wider range of individuals. Single and married women alike were encouraged to bid on the men of their choice to help them with whatever projects needed doing around their homes and ranches. Rachel suspected there would be a lot of husbands washing dishes and folding many loads of laundry before this day was done. And determined not to be outdone by the men, the ladies in Serendipity had soon added their own contributions to the auction—loaded picnic baskets as a prize for the fellows they won. Virtually everyone in town was involved at some level. That was just the way the folks in Serendipity were—generous to a fault and ready with any excuse to get together and have a celebration. And willing to buckle down and put in good work, too, when it was needed. Surely there’d be someone perfect for the job of fixing up her outdoor play area for the kids in her care. She intended to be picky about her choice. Someone older with lots of experience. Even so, she had to admit she was amused by former army corporal Seth Howell’s grand entrance. He might be too young and flighty to fulfill her requirements, but he was admittedly fun to watch. At a full run, Seth banked his feet off one tree trunk before swinging from the branches of another. He hurdled over a bench and backflipped onto the platform where the auction was being held. Jo Spencer, the redheaded owner of Cup O’ Jo’s Caf?, second mother to most of the town, as well as self-appointed auctioneer of this event, cackled with delight at his antics. She put a hammer in his grasp so he could continue to entertain the audience by displaying his abilities and showmanship. He swung it around in circles and jabbed it a couple of times like a rapier, then posed like a well-built statue of a carpenter, showing off the sinews of his muscular biceps. Seth was shorter and leaner than some of the other cowboys Rachel had seen auctioned off so far—like the gigantic McKenna brothers, who towered over most of the crowd, but Seth was clearly in prime shape. “Now, you can see for yourself, folks, what a unique specimen we have right here,” Jo began. “He is ready and willing to help you with whatever odd jobs you’ve got planned for him, and you can be certain he will be adding his own brand of fun to the mix. “Doesn’t that sound lovely? Now, don’t be deceived by his incredible physical prowess. Seth is not just a good-looking hunk of a man—he has a brain, to boot. You may not know this, but Seth is the fellow who single-handedly designed and built the new playground in the park. The man has skillzzz.” “Jo’s right.” Lizzie Emerson, Rachel’s best friend, elbowed her in the ribs and grinned like she’d just pulled off a major prank. “That guy is cute and talented. And he couldn’t be more perfect. He made the play set at the park. You need a play set built. He can do that—and so much more. Maybe one of your odd jobs could be for him to take you out for dinner.” Rachel locked gazes with her sixteen-year-old daughter, Zooey, and rolled her eyes. “For someone else, maybe, but I’m not looking for a date. You know perfectly well that all I’m looking for is a handyman to help bring my day care up to snuff before the next inspection. I don’t have time for a romantic relationship even if I wanted one. Which I don’t,” she added when Lizzie’s eyes glowed with mischief. “Even if I was looking for a date, I wouldn’t try to find him at a bachelor auction. No—he’s not the one for me.” Which was too bad, really. With what she now knew of Seth’s background, she might have considered bidding on him, even if she had to put up with an occasional goofy antic. She’d seen the amazing wood-and-pipe structures he’d built for the kids in the park. She could easily imagine a similar structure gracing her backyard and replacing the well-worn swing set and climbing tower she now possessed. But thanks to Lizzie and Zooey, bidding on Seth was out of the question, with the pressure she’d be under to make her work with him some kind of romantic rendezvous. The new playground in the park was nice, but under the circumstances, it was not enough to tempt her to make an offer on him. Too much trouble, with a capital T. “Which one of you pretty ladies is going to open the bidding on this handsome fellow?” Jo called, looking out into the audience. “Grab those pocketbooks and bid as generously as you can. Our senior center is just awaitin’ to be built with the money we raise here today, and Seth’s worth every dime you spend, don’t you think?” Zooey laughed and snatched the three crisp one-hundred-dollar bills Rachel had tucked in her hand, waving one of them in the air so Jo would see. “One hundred dollars!” “What do you think you are doing?” Rachel snapped, enunciating every word as she frantically reached for her daughter’s wrist. Zooey danced away, laughing in delight. Lizzie offered a complicit grin. “We are buying you a bachelor. Which you desperately need, by the way. You need a man in your life, at least as much as you need a handyman. We know it, and so do you, if you’re being honest with yourself.” “Oh, for crying out loud, you two. Didn’t you listen to what I just said?” She was relieved when elsewhere on the lawn someone bumped the bid up to $125. “Seth is the best of both worlds,” Zooey pointed out. “You aren’t going to find a better handyman out there when it comes to building playhouses.” Her statement might be valid, but Rachel wasn’t about to concede. Not since the whole both worlds thing came into play with them. Dealing with a pair of matchmakers could lead only to embarrassment, for her and for Seth. She needed to nip this in the bud, right now. She scurried to make a mental list of reasons Seth wouldn’t work out for her. She wasn’t coming up with much. “I don’t want—” she started to say, but her daughter interrupted her. “Seth will be good for you, and he’s the exact right fit for repairing your play equipment at the day care. No more arguments.” At the moment Rachel couldn’t think of any, other than that Zooey’s idea of the perfect candidate and hers were as different as night from day. As with so many things lately, this was just going to have to be another topic on which they couldn’t seem to see eye to eye. “One fifty for Seth!” Zooey shouted, squealing in delight when Jo pointed to her and acknowledged her bid. “Zooey Maria Josephina Perez. Stop bidding and give me back my money this instant.” “I always know I’m in trouble when my mom uses my full name,” she told Lizzie. “I think that’s how she decided what my name would be when I was born.” “Zooey Maria Josephina Perez, get out of that tree before you fall and break your neck!” Zooey quipped. Rachel sighed inwardly. If only it were that simple. Raising a teenager was much more difficult than having a good name to scold them with. For the scolding to work, the teenager first needed to be willing to listen to what the mother had to say. Zooey’s words were meant as a joke, but Rachel’s heart tightened just a little. She loved seeing Zooey happy and carefree as she was acting today, focused on something that she genuinely seemed to believe would make her mother happy, but lately that had been the exception to the rule. It wasn’t even funny to jest about Zooey getting into trouble—not when it was happening in fact, and all too often lately. And though they’d always been close, nothing Rachel said to her daughter seemed to get through to her at all anymore. “It’s for a good cause,” Lizzie reminded Rachel, redirecting her attention to the stage. “Yes, of course it is. To raise funds to build the senior center. I’m aware of that, as is everyone else who has come out today.” “No,” Lizzie replied tartly. “The senior center is important, of course, but I was referring to finding you a single guy who is as good for your social life as he is for your day care. It could happen.” Rachel opened her mouth to protest once again, but Lizzie held up her hands to stop her. “You heard Jo. Seth built the new playground in the park. You’re looking for a man to spiff up your playhouse and swing set. Face it, girl. Seth Howell is exactly the man you need for the job. That he’s nice on the eyes is purely going to be a side benefit.” Maybe he was the best man for the playhouse job, and he was rather handsome, but Rachel wasn’t going to dig herself any deeper by admitting she privately agreed with her friend. The guy was good-looking. If he was hoping to get a date out of this, he deserved to have that chance—but not with her. She would not embarrass Seth by being the high bidder when clearly there were any number of pretty young ladies spread out over the green seeking his undivided attention in far more interesting ways than anything she could offer. She was confident he wouldn’t want to be stuck with a woman who had long since exited the dating scene and who had nothing more on her mind than getting her play equipment recertification-ready. The bidding war on Seth, who had passed the hammer back to Jo and was currently amusing the crowd by walking on his hands, was inching up in twenty-five-dollar increments. Her daughter had, thankfully, stopped participating in the back-and-forth volley, letting the younger women who really wanted social time with Seth fight it out between them. Rachel had brought her hard-earned cash with the intent to bid on one of Serendipity’s best handymen or weekend do-it-yourselfers, most of whom were old or married or both, and she was fine with that. Better than fine—even if none of them had been the one who’d built the playground in the park. She definitely didn’t care that none of them could hold a candle to Seth’s youthful good looks, even an upside-down Seth whose blood was rushing to his face. When the bidding finally passed the $300 mark, the knots in Rachel’s shoulders relaxed. He was officially out of her budget now, so there’d be no more nonsense about Seth Howell. She would wait and bid on another man who would be willing and able help her spiff up her day care without putting crazy romantic ideas into her daughter’s and best friend’s heads. Now that she was legitimately out of the running for Seth, she was beginning to enjoy watching the excitement the young, eager women were currently bringing to the auction. It was kind of cute, actually, seeing the hope and excitement in their expressions as they bid. Eventually, the bidding stalled at $375. A happy seventy-five dollars more than Rachel could afford, thankfully. “Going once,” Jo announced. She bobbed her head so her red curls bounced and hovered her gavel over the makeshift podium. “Going twice.” Jo paused, her gaze spanning the green. She had just raised her gavel for the crack of a sale when Zooey spoke up. “Four hundred,” she announced brightly. “Wait, what?” Rachel said aloud. Zooey knew perfectly well how hard Rachel had had to scrape the bottom of the barrel for the $300 she’d collected to bid, and even then only because the need for a senior center was so great and because she could justify the remodeling work as a business expense. And now she was going to be out another hundred? She didn’t want to be stingy when the money was going to such a good cause, but she was on a tight budget. Her home day care kept a roof over her and Zooey’s heads and food on the table, but there wasn’t a lot of wiggle room for extras—like bidding on a goofy young man doing flips and handstands just because he was cute. “Sold, to—” Jo paused as Zooey pointed both hands toward Rachel “—Rachel Perez.” Even with everyone’s eyes on her, Rachel balked for a moment and then caught her daughter’s elbow. “That hundred dollars is going to come out of your allowance.” Thankfully, Rachel had enough spare cash in her wallet to cover the difference, but that wasn’t the point. Her daughter had taken her decision right out of her hands. “I know it will,” Zooey agreed cheerfully. She reached into the pocket of her blue jeans and withdrew a wad of five crumpled twenty-dollar bills. “Don’t worry. I’ve got it covered. I’ve been saving up. You don’t even need to worry about paying me back. Now take the money and go up there and rope yourself a Cowboy Charming.” Rachel momentarily considered withdrawing the bid, but she didn’t want to humiliate herself—or Seth—in a public venue. How would it look if she backed out now? Would everyone think she was too flighty to know her own mind? Or that she didn’t think Seth was good enough? At least he had the skillzzz, as Jo had phrased it, to repair the playground equipment for the day care, which, at the end of the day, was all that really mattered. She could deal. She would deal. She huffed and snatched the money from her daughter’s grasp, then threaded her way through the crowd to the staging area. She was well aware of what she would be required to do as the winning bidder and her face flushed with heat as she handed off the cash in exchange for a lariat. Lovely. Now all she had to do to get this over and done with was make a public spectacle of herself, thanks to her incorrigible daughter and her best friend. She supposed she would have ended up on the platform being required to throw a lasso to “rope” the man she’d won either way, but she doubted that with all the silly antics Seth had demonstrated, he would make this easy for her. Not to mention the fact that she’d never thrown a rope before. Despite that she lived square in the middle of the country, she’d never even visited a ranch or ridden a horse, much less roped a cow. How was she supposed to lasso a guy who couldn’t stand still for more than one second at a time? Yeah, that was so not going to happen. Seth’s bright blue eyes met hers, full of impetuousness and humor. It took her aback for a moment. She’d forgotten what it felt like to be that lighthearted and carefree. Maybe she’d never been. “You’ve got this,” Seth assured her, gesturing for her to throw the rope. Despite his grandstanding before, he was ignoring the audience now to smile supportively at her—a purely kind gesture that left her feeling a bit flustered. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” Seth’s smile turned into a toothy grin. “Why don’t you toss that thing and we’ll see?” Good grief. It was probably better for her to throw the rope and be done with it. She had no idea what she was supposed to do when she missed, because up until this point in the auction, all the men had been successfully roped, one way or another. Sometimes the cowboys had to be artful in getting that rope around them, but so far every single one of them had managed. Rachel was bound to disappoint everyone with her pathetic attempt at lassoing Seth. Hopefully, the crowd would just let her retreat gracefully off the stage with her “prize” when she failed. Releasing her breath on a sigh, she aimed the loop like a Frisbee and threw her lariat in Seth’s general direction. As she knew it would, it didn’t even come close to flying over his head. More like waist high. How humiliating. But before she could so much as blink, Seth dived forward, over and into the lariat, rather than under it. She gasped in surprise as he tucked his body and somersaulted to his feet, the lariat successfully tightened around his waist. He offered his hand and gestured toward the platform stairs with another cheeky grin. “Ready for lunch?” Rachel couldn’t find her voice, so she merely nodded as the crowd applauded them both. Great. Her first thought of Seth being half man, half monkey was apparently not that far off the mark. He might be well able to come to her rescue where repairing the playhouse was concerned, but she had major doubts about how easy he would be to work with. He seemed like a nice enough man, but he didn’t appear to take anything too seriously. Would he go off swinging through the trees when he was supposed to be building playground equipment? She glanced over to Zooey and Lizzie, expecting to see smug looks on their faces, but they’d already lost interest in her and now stood with their heads together, no doubt debating the pros and cons of the next bachelor on the docket. Lizzie hadn’t put in her bid yet—and she was looking for a bachelor, someone she could eventually call her sweetheart. Rachel considered rejoining them and then discarded the idea. Her impish daughter and equally mischievous best friend were bound to embarrass her—and worse, Seth—and she’d just as soon wait as long as possible before that eventuality. Besides, Seth was probably hungry from all that backflipping and handstanding he’d done. At least if she had Seth to herself, she would be able to find out when and how she could avail him of his talents—those of the non-branch-swinging variety. She led him across the community green to where she’d left her picnic basket under the cool shade of an old oak tree. She’d had the toddlers in her day care decorate the basket as part of arts-and-crafts time. It was now threaded with multicolored ribbons and randomly dotted with finger paint. Rachel was proud of the creation, and especially of her kids. “Your basket looks awesome,” Seth complimented. She turned and met his gaze, half expecting to find mockery in his eyes, but he was totally earnest, insofar as she could tell. His smile looked sincere. “Thank you. My day-care kids made it for me.” “I can tell it was created with love,” he said, sinking down onto the checked wool blanket she’d spread on the ground before him. She smiled, pleased by his thoughtfulness. He was clearly a nice guy. Maybe this experience wouldn’t be a total disaster after all. She smiled appreciatively and laid out the classic country picnic fare of fried chicken, macaroni salad and baked beans, with chocolate cupcakes for dessert. Seth opened the water she offered him and downed the entire bottle without taking a breath. Wordlessly, she handed him a second bottle. “Thirsty much?” she asked when he took another long drink. He grinned. “Just rehydrating. Wait until you see my appetite.” She gestured to the food. “It’s all yours.” Although technically, it wasn’t. She couldn’t forget that Zooey would be around before long with her own healthy appetite. Rachel had packed some of Zooey’s favorites. In preparation, Rachel fixed her daughter a plate and set it aside, then filled a plate for herself. “Eating for two?” he teased. For the briefest moment Seth’s words took on an ugly context, one she’d long ago fought and overcome. She wasn’t reed thin like Lizzie and even Zooey, and she accepted now that she never would be. As a child, she’d been bullied. Worse than that, even, when she’d become a teenager. But the glimmer in Seth’s eyes wasn’t cruel. He was joshing her about the two plates she’d fixed. She wasn’t going to make it a sore point just because at one time in her life she’d had low self-esteem because of her weight. She laughed and casually leaned back on her palms, crossing her feet at the ankles. “This extra one is for my daughter, Zooey. She’s still following the auction, helping my best friend, Lizzie, pick out the perfect handsome bachelor for a date, but I imagine she’ll be around as soon as she gets hungry.” “Was that your daughter I saw bidding on your behalf?” Rachel nodded and shifted her gaze away from him, suddenly uncomfortable and embarrassed that he’d noticed that she hadn’t been doing her own bidding. She also worried that he might have misconstrued her words. If Lizzie was looking for a handsome bachelor to date, it stood to reason that Rachel had been looking for the same exact thing. And that Seth might think that bachelor was him. Oh dear. “Yes, that’s Zooey,” she cut in quickly, before he had too much time to think about what she’d said previously. “She’s sixteen. To be perfectly honest with you, she had an entirely different idea than me on what I was looking for. She took over my bidding completely without my consent.” Suddenly realizing how insulting that might sound, she scrambled to backpedal. “I didn’t—That is—I wouldn’t—” When she stammered to a halt and heat rushed to her face, he finished her sentence for her. “You wouldn’t have chosen to bid on me.” * * * No big deal, he told himself, but knowing that Rachel hadn’t really wanted to win him still pricked at his pride. Rachel met his gaze, her deep brown eyes thoughtful and expressive. “No. To be honest, I probably wouldn’t have. That is, originally, I would have considered you, especially regarding the particular tasks I have in mind for you to do for me.” She took a great gulp of air. “But then Lizzie and my daughter got it in their minds to—” She stammered to a halt. Inhaled another ragged breath. Exhaled on a deep sigh. Seth wanted to say something to make her feel better, but he honestly had no clue what he could offer. Frankly, it was strange to him to see her this flustered. He knew her only in passing, but she’d always given off this air of calm competence that he admired, seeming sure of herself in every situation. Well, apparently not this one. “I’m afraid all I will be able to offer you is some general fix-it work on the play yard of my in-home day care,” she said at last. He took a sip of cold water and gestured with his hand. “As opposed to...?” Her cheeks, which were already flushed a pretty pink, now turned bright red, and she broke her gaze away from his. “Okay,” she muttered under her breath. “I’m just going to say it.” She paused dramatically. “As opposed to a date. I feel like I cheated you out of something special. You know, something more, er, romantic. You would have been better off with one of the beautiful younger ladies who were bidding on you for your—” her voice tightened and she squinted as she choked out the last part of her sentence “—good looks.” He sat up straighter as his wilted ego reinflated faster than a balloon on a helium pump. “No worries on that front,” he assured her with a grin. “I’m glad you won the bid on me. Relieved, even. You just saved me from what could have been an awkward situation. I assure you I’m not looking for a girlfriend, not even a casual one. That wouldn’t be fair to her. I’m only home for a few weeks before I’m heading off to college.” “That’s exciting. I never made it to college. Have you picked a school yet?” “Texas State University. I’m a little nervous about it,” he admitted. “I’ve never been a great student, and it’s not like I’m right out of high school, so I’ll probably stick out like a sore thumb.” “Oh, I wouldn’t worry too much about that. It’s not like you’re over-the-hill, and many adults these days are choosing to go back to school after they’ve been out in the real world for a while.” A brief cloud of sadness crossed over his heart. “That, I’ve done. Seen the real world, I mean, in the army. I’m looking forward to putting my full focus on my academics.” And keep his mind off everything he’d experienced while on tour. He was haunted by questions and guilt that wouldn’t leave him alone. He was hoping he’d be so busy studying that he wouldn’t have time for reflection on just how cruel he’d seen the “real world” be. It couldn’t get much more real than watching his best friend, Luke, being gunned down right in front of him, hit by a sniper who barely missed Seth, but that wasn’t something he wanted to share with a woman he’d barely met. He didn’t even like to think about it, much less talk about it. “I’m so sorry. I know you were in the army. I didn’t mean to remind you of hard times.” He shrugged. “Life is what it is. I’ve learned that I have to accept it and move forward. The key is to watch my attitude. I’ve chosen to remain positive.” “That’s a wonderful outlook, and one I try to follow myself, although I’m not always successful at it. Sometimes it’s easier to see the glass as half-empty.” Her gaze dropped and she blew out a breath. He waited for her to finish her thought, but she remained quiet. He knew what she wanted to say but couldn’t. Easier, but not better. “I’m majoring in athletic training,” he said to fill the silence. “Based on your demonstration before, I’d say that ought to be right up your alley.” She snapped back to the present and smiled at him, although he could see it was forced. “What do you plan to do when you graduate? Coach high school sports?” He shrugged. He wasn’t much of a planner and never had been. He only vaguely pictured his future beyond the challenge of four years of hitting the books. He knew from experience that too much could change between now and then. What was the point of making all these grandiose plans only to discover life is nothing like you expect it to be? “I don’t know yet. I think it’d be cool to work with a pro sports team. Football or baseball, maybe, or even basketball. That’d give me the opportunity to travel the country, which I’d like to do. Or if not that, then maybe I could work with a college sports program. I’d like to think I could make a difference with the kids coming through the ranks.” “I suspect you’d be very good at that, given the skillzzz I saw you display today.” He laughed at her exact replication of Jo’s word, all the way down to the crackly tone of voice that the old redhead had used. “I’m probably just kidding myself thinking I can get into the big leagues, but I figure I might as well reach for the sky, right?” “Or swing for it.” She laughed. “What’s that called, anyway? That thing you were doing earlier with the swinging and jumping and backflips?” His smile widened. “Parkour. It’s basically focusing your mind with the intent of seeing and interacting with your environment in a different way. It puts everything into perspective. You should try it sometime. I could give you a lesson or two.” Her eyes widened in surprise and then she burst out laughing. “With this body?” She gestured at herself from head to toe. “I don’t think so.” He didn’t see anything wrong with her body. She was full figured, but in a healthy way. Besides, parkour was a mental exercise as much as a physical one. “You shouldn’t limit yourself, Rachel. Parkour isn’t about what you can’t do—it’s about what you can.” “I believe I’ll stick to working out in my living room to my exercise dance DVDs, thank you very much. Somewhere no one can see how awkward I look when I move.” He wanted to press her but sensed this wasn’t the time. Plus, this was the first time he’d really spoken to her—brief chitchat at church or his family’s grocery store didn’t count—and he didn’t want to give her the wrong impression about parkour. Or about him. “What about your daughter? Do you think she might enjoy parkour?” Rachel voraciously shook her head, her dark hair flipping over one shoulder. “Oh, no. She needs to concentrate on her academics right now if she’s going to get into a good college. She didn’t pass two of her classes last year and consequently is in summer school right now. It’s not that she’s not smart,” she modified. “She just hasn’t been applying herself lately. I’m trying to encourage her to do better in summer school. Anyway, sports aren’t really Zooey’s thing.” “Did I hear my name?” Seth’s gaze shifted to the teenager who’d jogged up to Rachel. Zooey was a pretty, dark-haired, dark-eyed teenager who looked a lot like her mother. The girl dropped onto her knees next to the picnic basket and flashed a friendly smile at Seth. “I was telling Seth here what a pickle you are, taking over the bidding on my behalf.” Zooey stuck out her tongue at Rachel and reached for the plate Rachel handed her. “Someone had to do it. You don’t mind, do you, Seth?” He chuckled. “No, of course not. In fact, I’m thinking this day turned out rather well.” “Ha. Told you, Mom.” She picked up a chicken drumstick, took a bite and pointed it toward Seth. “Have you tried your chicken yet? My mom makes the best fried chicken ever.” “Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Rachel admonished. “And we haven’t said grace yet.” Seth had been reaching for his chicken breast, but he stopped midmovement at Rachel’s reminder that they needed to pray before their meal. It wasn’t something he was used to doing—not since his youth when he lived with his parents. He was used to diving straight into his meal, and this meal definitely seemed worth diving into. His stomach growled when the delectable, greasy smell of fried chicken reached his nose, and his mouth watered in anticipation. He usually limited himself to grilled meat served with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, but he wasn’t about to pass up homemade fried chicken. This was a special occasion, right? It was all he could do not to take a bite of his chicken, but he restrained himself and politely bowed his head. “Would you like to say grace?” With his eyes closed, he didn’t immediately realize Rachel was speaking to him. “Seth?” His eyes popped open to find Rachel and Zooey both staring at him. “I—er—I’m more of a Christmas and Easter kind of man. So I—Well, I’m out of practice. You go ahead.” His voice sounded stilted and awkward, even to him. “I’m sorry. I just assumed—I see your parents and sister at church every Sunday. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” “You didn’t,” he assured her, even though he was itching in his skin. He searched his mind for a way to describe his current relationship with the Lord, but nothing sounded right. It was too complicated for casual conversation. He believed in God, but God hadn’t always been there for him. Certainly not lately. Not when it really counted. He was relieved when she spoke, removing the need for a coherent explanation. “Let’s thank the Lord for our food.” Quietly and with gentle reverence, she offered heartfelt gratitude for the food, the day and the company. Seth shifted uncomfortably. He’d been raised in a Christian home and, since he’d returned from the army, occasionally attended church services with his family, but religion didn’t play a big part in his life anymore. He cracked his eyes open to watch Rachel pray and noticed he wasn’t the only one feeling uncomfortable. Zooey’s eyes were also open, her gaze on her folded hands. Or rather, she was frowning at her clenched hands. He was surprised she didn’t seem tapped into faith. He certainly had been at her age, with his family’s example all around him, and from the way that Rachel prayed, it was clear that faith was important to her and played a big role in her home. Rachel’s grace wasn’t dry or bottled, but rather she spoke from her heart, which Seth admired and, if he was being honest, envied. He missed the innocence of his youth, of a faith that transcended the trials of daily life, but he’d seen far too much of the world not to question what he believed. Still, he echoed her amen. Zooey scooped a forkful of macaroni salad into her mouth and chewed slowly. A group of young men Seth guessed to be around Zooey’s age walked by, jostling and shoving and trying to talk over each other. Zooey didn’t turn her head, but her gaze trailed after the guys. Rachel must have seen that, as well. “It’s a good thing they didn’t allow the teenage guys to participate in the auction,” she said after swallowing her bite of baked beans. The boys had moved out of hearing distance, but that didn’t stop the blush that rose to the teenager’s cheeks. “Mom,” she whispered harshly. “That is so uncool. They could have heard you.” A little adolescent and overdramatic for Seth’s taste, but it was an amusing scene, at least until Zooey tossed down her plate and popped to her feet. “I am so out of here.” “Sit down and finish eating.” Rachel’s voice was low and even, but Seth could hear the barely contained tension coating her voice. Her daughter seemed all too willing to ignore it. “Zooey,” Rachel called after her, but the teenager loped away as if she hadn’t heard, joining a group of friends on the other side of the green. Rachel sighed and rested her forehead against her palm. “I’m getting a migraine. Sometimes I really don’t know what to do with that girl.” Seth chuckled. “She’s a teenager. Most of the time, rebellion is written in their DNA. Are you going to tell me you didn’t get into a few scrapes and give your mom a hassle when you were sixteen?” She scoffed. “I had a newborn baby when I was sixteen. My mother didn’t care for the idea of becoming a grandmother at such a young age and she threw me out of the house.” Seth’s gut tightened. “Are you serious?” “Unfortunately, yes. My mom and dad are fairly well-to-do and their unmarried teenage daughter becoming pregnant didn’t go down well in their social circles. It was better if I just disappeared before anyone found out. I would have been interested to hear their explanation for why I dropped out of school and off the map, but I never got a chance to hear it. I haven’t seen them since that day, nor do I want to. I’ve forgiven them for what they did to me and Zooey, but they’re not part of our lives.” “They sent you away?” Seth almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing. What kind of parents did that to their child? He had made more than his share of mistakes in his life, but he knew beyond a doubt that his mom and dad would never turn their backs on him, no matter what he did. It was almost inconceivable to even think about. “What did you do?” “Given that I had no money and nowhere to turn, I am one of the blessed ones. I didn’t end up on the street. Instead, I was taken in by a church-run home for teenage mothers. They taught me how to care for my daughter and helped me finish high school and get on my feet. They gave me real-world skills I could use to provide for Zooey and myself. When I was eighteen, I moved to Serendipity, set up shop as an in-home day-care provider, and the rest, as they say, is history.” “Wow. That must have been tough, especially at such a young age. I admire and applaud you for your courage.” Rachel shook her head. “It wasn’t courage. I was scared to death. But I had a lot of support. And though Zooey wasn’t conceived in an ideal situation, I loved her from the first moment I discovered I was carrying her in my womb. I did what I had to.” “My buddy Luke used to tell me that courage wasn’t the lack of fear. It was being afraid and going forward anyway. That’s what you did. I call it courage.” Rachel nibbled at her chicken, chewing thoughtfully, her gaze distant. Then, with effort, she seemed to set her emotions aside. “But enough about me. Tell me about you. Did you join the army right out of high school? Thank you for your service, by the way.” He gave her a clipped nod. He didn’t really want to talk about his time in the military, and though appreciative of their acknowledgment, he never knew what to say when people thanked him for serving. “Like many little boys, I dreamed about becoming a soldier when I grew up,” he said. “But I followed through with it and, along with my best friend, Luke Hollister, enlisted before I even finished high school. We were off to boot camp right after we graduated. At the time, I intended to make the army my career. Twenty years and a decent pension sounded good to me. And I really loved serving in the army.” “What happened?” she asked softly. Seth blew out a breath. “Luke was killed in a firefight. I was right there next to him and—” He swallowed hard to dislodge the memory. “And then a sniper got him. The bullet whizzed right by my ear and hit Luke.” He frowned. It was hard to get the words out. “That day haunts me. I’ll never understand why God let things go down the way they did. I’m a bachelor and yet I was the one who dodged the bullet. Luke left behind his pregnant wife, Tracy, and their ranch land, which has been in the Hollister family for generations.” “It must have been very rough for her,” Rachel said. “I remember the prayers that were said for her in church. Such a sad situation. I know what it’s like to be pregnant and on your own, but I can’t even imagine dealing with the grief she must have felt, on top of having to run the ranch by herself.” Seth nodded his agreement. “Thankfully, Tracy was born and raised on a ranch, so she gradually adapted to becoming the sole owner. I admire her courage so much. She’s one of the strongest women I know.” “At least she had her child to look forward to. She had a boy, right?” “That’s right. Little Caden is almost three years old now. I promised Luke I’d watch over Caden and Tracy if anything ever happened to him, which is a big part of the reason I came back to Serendipity before heading off to college. I wanted to check in on them and make sure everything was as okay as Tracy tried to make it sound whenever I spoke to her on the phone. I needed to see her with my own eyes.” “And how is she doing?” “She appears to be making a success of it, although honestly, I can’t even imagine how she does it. She told me straight to my face that she was fine and she didn’t need my help, that I should worry about getting my own life in order. I realized then that I didn’t want my life to go the same way as Luke’s. I didn’t re-up in the army, because my heart wasn’t in it anymore. I knew I had to do something different.” “I imagine so,” Rachel said, sympathy evident in the tone of her voice. “The truth is, I just want to get away from responsibility for a while. I want to be me—to find out who I am outside of the military. I’ve always had someone else in charge of where I go and what I do in my life. I didn’t even take the summer off after high school. Straight from my parents’ house into the army, where I was under orders for everything, even eating and sleeping. Right now all I have on my mind is doing my own thing for a change. Make my own decisions without regard to anyone but myself. No strings attached. Saying that aloud makes me sound like a selfish lout, doesn’t it?” “Not at all.” She was generous to say so. “When I go to college, all I want to worry about is keeping my grades up. That will take some doing. Like I said, I wasn’t the best student, but I’m not sure if it’s so much that I wasn’t good at school as that I didn’t really apply myself. I only worked hard enough to keep my grades high enough for sports.” He could feel himself flushing with embarrassment. “Aw, man. I sound like a regular slacker. Don’t worry—I promise I won’t rub off on Zooey.” Rachel laughed. “She could use a little of your good attitude. You certainly sound ready to buckle down and work hard now. So after college, some kind of big-league sports work, and then what?” “I imagine I’ll probably want to settle down at some point—you know, get married and have children. But that is way down the road from now, though.” He pressed his lips together. He wasn’t even close to being ready for a family of his own. He wasn’t financially prepared to support anyone—and frankly, after losing his best friend, he wasn’t ready for any relationship that would leave his heart open to getting hurt again. “But,” he continued, forcing the corners of his mouth to curve upward, if only barely, for Rachel’s sake, “in other news, I am now the awesome godfather of the cutest baby ever, Luke and Tracy’s two-year-old son, Caden. And thanks to my sister and brother-in-law, I’m also the proud uncle of an adorable seven-year-old niece and a feisty pair of twins—one boy and one girl. Samantha and Will’s kiddos keep them good and busy.” “So you’re the fun uncle, huh?” He flashed his most charming smile. “Exactly. And that’s how I intend to keep things.” “Chief tickler and bogeyman storyteller. The children will look forward to you coming home to visit when you’re on breaks at school or the football season is over.” Considering how little they knew of each other, Rachel had just nailed it. That was the man he wanted to be. The fun uncle who could come and go as he pleased. He was happy to have found someone who seemed to understand where he was at in his life—and why he would soon be leaving town for greener pastures. Chapter Two (#uba9374b8-94e6-5059-8c00-e6647e1611b8) Sunday was usually Rachel’s favorite day of the week. It was the only day out of seven that she allowed herself the opportunity to worship, relax and just be, after a frantically busy week filled to the brim with toddlers followed by a Saturday crammed with a week’s worth of leftover chores and errands. After Sunday services, she could read or binge on a television series or just nap, which was her favorite way to spend a quiet Sunday afternoon. But today her usual sense of peace had been replaced by a nagging sense of worry. This morning, she’d watched for Seth at the small church that was home to Serendipity’s community of faith. On the day of the auction, they’d agreed to meet after the Sunday service to go over the specific details of when and how he’d work off her auction win, but he hadn’t shown up. In fact, none of the Howells had been present, which was unusual, since Seth’s parents—Samuel and Amanda—along with Will and Samantha Davenport and their brood usually took up an entire pew. She’d have to make time to seek Seth out sometime during the week, as soon as possible. Or maybe she could get his cell number from Samantha. She needed the work done without delay. Her day-care recertification was close on the horizon, and from what she’d heard, many of her friends’ in-home day cares were failing in favor of corporate-run day cares because of tightening restrictions. She couldn’t afford to fail. Her business was her lifeline—hers and Zooey’s. She couldn’t even imagine what she’d do if she lost the ability to take care of the children. It was the only job she’d ever had, the one thing she felt capable of and qualified for. Rachel didn’t regret having Zooey, not for one second, but it had put a halt on her college plans and the dreams she’d had for her future. She’d intended to pursue a degree in early childhood education and get her teaching degree. She’d adapted those dreams into running an in-home day care. Maybe she didn’t have the degree behind her name, but she knew she was a good teacher, and the best part of her day was sitting with the kids, reading to them and teaching them letters and numbers. Every so often she had to pass a government inspection like the one that was coming up in a few weeks. She kept her day care strictly by the code, but the inspectors were becoming more nitpicky. She had to keep hold of this job, not only because she loved it, but because it paid her bills and she was able to save a little toward her daughter’s future. Zooey came first, and she always would. And that was tied to the other frustration in her life—that her daughter, whom she loved more than anything, was pulling away from her. And the situation kept getting worse. This morning, Zooey had once again pleaded that she was too sick to go to church, when the truth was she was just trying to get out of going to the Sunday service. It had been happening far too often lately. Usually, Rachel insisted that her daughter accompany her, but she was beyond tired of arguing all the time, so this Sunday she’d given in and allowed Zooey to stay home and sleep in. As soon as Rachel had walked through the doors of the church, guilt had crushed her. She was the parent in this situation. She needed to be the strong one, no matter how hard Zooey pushed back. She should have required that Zooey come with her—no matter what her flimsy excuses might be. She wouldn’t let it happen again. It didn’t matter how tired Rachel was or how much stress she was under, she couldn’t shirk her responsibility as a parent. As long as her daughter lived under her roof and ate her food, she was going to go to church on Sundays. Period. It wasn’t a huge shock to Rachel when she walked in the front door of her modest two-bedroom house and found her daughter playing a video game and talking to someone through her headset. Unfortunately, Rachel had expected it. Zooey didn’t even look up—not until Rachel loomed over her with her arms akimbo and a frown on her face. At least Myst, a black cat with the most extraordinary emerald-green eyes, appeared happy to see her. He threaded in and out of her legs as she stood waiting for Zooey to acknowledge her, his purr sounding like a truck engine. “I thought you were too sick to go to church,” Rachel reprimanded. “And you know you’re not allowed to play video games on Sunday.” Even though their family unit was small, Rachel had always tried to make it clear that family time was a priority. In particular, she went out of her way to make Sundays special, a quiet time to spend with her daughter away from the technology that so often drew them apart. She stayed off her phone and computer and she expected Zooey to do the same. “Sorry, James. I have to go,” Zooey said into the headset. “My mom’s bugging me.” Rachel stood silently as her daughter turned off her video game, unsure of which part of Zooey’s statement she should address first. The teenager’s disrespectful words and behavior or the boy? “Who is James?” She forced herself to remain calm and not sound accusatory. “He’s just a guy, Mom.” She used to know all of Zooey’s friends. Though Rachel treasured the time she could spend one-on-one with her little girl, she had always been pleased to welcome any friend who wanted to come over for dinner or join them while they went shopping or to the movies. She’d willingly hosted birthday parties and slumber parties and had enjoyed seeing her happy, social daughter having fun with her friends. It was only in the past year or so that Zooey had become more secretive over what went on in her life. Her longtime friends rarely came over anymore—she seemed to have taken up with a new crowd that Rachel hadn’t met. Meanwhile, her grades had dropped to the point where she had to attend summer school. If Zooey had legitimately had problems with a subject, Rachel would have understood, but Zooey had simply not turned in assignments and, worse, had cut class on more than one occasion. Though Rachel didn’t like to judge, she was responsible for Zooey’s safety, and in her opinion, some of her daughter’s current friends were questionable at best. That was what had Rachel worried. She’d raised Zooey to be street-smart as well as book-smart, but she was only sixteen and, whether she wanted to admit it or not, was innocent and vulnerable. Those traits left a girl open to all sorts of predators wanting to take advantage, as Rachel knew all too well. After all, Rachel’s life had drastically changed when she was sixteen. She wanted so much more for her own daughter. “And how do you know this James?” Rachel knew her suspicion was creeping out in her tone. She had heard too many horror stories about creepy men stalking girls online not to worry or to ask questions. She wasn’t exactly sure how the game console worked, but she suspected it might be similar to a computer in the ability to connect with strangers. Zooey had been speaking in real time to whoever this James person was. For all Rachel knew, it could be a grown man on the lookout for a girl he could manipulate. Zooey scowled and defiantly tipped up her chin. “Check the attitude,” Rachel warned. “He’s just a friend. My best friend Lori’s boyfriend. Nobody to worry about.” “So you’ve met him before, then? He’s your age? You’ve seen him face-to-face?” Zooey sighed overdramatically. “Yes, Mom. He’s in summer school with me.” Not so long ago, her daughter had been a sweet little infant curled in her arms. It had been easy to protect and care for her then. Where had the years gone? Zooey was old enough to date, although up to this point she’d shown little interest in any particular guy, at least as far as Rachel knew. Zooey used to talk to her about these things, but lately, not so much. The thought of Zooey dating frightened Rachel more than she could say. She knew it wasn’t fair to project her own teenage inadequacies on her daughter, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. Zooey was a different girl from the teenager Rachel had been at her age. Zooey was smart. Confident. Beautiful. Maybe too much so. There was no doubt she would be catching the eyes of Serendipity’s young men. And all it would take was one bad decision, one mistake, one misjudgment. Life could change in an instant. She knew that from her own life and had been reminded of it when she’d been talking with Seth at the auction. Rachel wanted her daughter to be able to be free to chase her dreams, something Rachel had never been able to do, but in order to do that, she had a lot of hurdles to jump. Rachel had been insecure as a teenager and peer pressure had overwhelmed her. She’d had body-type issues and high school bullies had sometimes fat-shamed her into doing things she would not otherwise have done. That was how she’d gotten pregnant with Zooey—trying to find someone who would love her for who she was. But the boy had dumped her the moment he found out she was pregnant, accusing her of sleeping around and denying that he was even the father of her child. He’d never loved her. Looking back, she was pretty sure he’d never even liked her. Rachel had found out the truth the hard way. She didn’t want that for her daughter. But she couldn’t seem to find a way to express her concerns without sending Zooey on another rant, angry that her mother didn’t trust her. Rachel didn’t know how to bridge the gap that was growing between them, but she had to try. She sat down on the couch, curling one leg underneath her and turning toward her daughter. “I was thinking maybe if you got more involved in church activities, you wouldn’t feel so inclined to skip Sunday services.” Zooey twirled a lock of her dark brown hair around her finger and didn’t say a word. “You’re really good with my day-care kiddos,” Rachel continued. “Maybe you could teach Sunday school when fall comes. The preschoolers would love you. And I’d like to see you go back to youth group this summer. Didn’t you used to have a lot of friends there?” Zooey wouldn’t meet her eyes. She looked—what? Frustrated? Upset? Stricken? “Zooey?” she prompted when the girl did not speak. “What are you thinking? You can be honest with me.” “I don’t want to hurt your feelings,” she mumbled. “This isn’t about my feelings. It’s about trying to figure out some solutions that will work for both of us.” “Well, I don’t want to go to youth group anymore. None of my friends go to church. They think it’s stupid.” Rachel felt like someone had slapped her. This was one battle she really didn’t want to lose, watching her daughter walk away from the faith she’d been brought up in. But how could she stop Zooey from sliding down that slippery slope? She pinched the bridge of her nose where another headache was developing. Peer pressure. Rachel’s breath snagged in her throat. She knew all about peer pressure. Lord, help me reach my daughter. “Which friends are those, exactly?” she asked through a tight jaw, barely restraining herself from adding that those friends probably weren’t real friends at all if they led her away from church. “Lori and James. We want to hang out at the community pool and get a good tan once summer school is over. That’s where all the cool kids go.” “I see.” She saw all too well. But she didn’t know what to do about it. Push her? Back off? At least it was just suntanning at the pool. For now. “I’m not going to force you to go to youth group, if that’s what you’re worried about. But you should have been honest with me earlier and told me that you didn’t want to go rather than lying about being sick. You don’t want to participate? Then don’t. But please, be honest with me either way. And don’t make your decision based on what your friends think. I’ve taught you better than that.” Zooey stared at her a moment without speaking. Rachel held her breath, praying she’d gotten through to the rebellious teenager. But when her daughter picked up the headset to the video game console, intending to hook it back up to the system, Rachel felt a sinking certainty that her words hadn’t had any impact at all. Reaching out to her daughter wasn’t going to work this time. So instead, she’d have to try standing firm. She stopped Zooey with a hand on her arm. “You may be your own person, but you are sixteen years old and you are living in my house, so I make the rules. No video games on Sunday.” Zooey’s face turned red and she dropped the headset onto the coffee table, where it bounced and then clattered onto the wood floor. “I’ve had enough of your attitude, young lady.” “Fine.” Zooey scowled and then marched straight out the front door. “Where do you think you are going?” In her frustration, Rachel enunciated every word. “Out. I’m going out. I can’t stand this. I don’t want to be around you right now.” “Zooey, stop.” It wasn’t a suggestion, but the teenager ignored it anyway and shot off down the street on foot, not even bothering to look back. Rachel huffed out an irritated breath and made to follow her, but just as she was leaving, Seth pulled into her driveway and exited his car— With a baby in his arms. * * * Seth’s knees were weak and his gut clenched into knots in an excruciatingly uneven rhythm. His vision felt fuzzy and it was all he could do to plant his feet on the ground, step by agonizing step. The only thing that was keeping him upright was the fact that he was carrying a two-year-old baby in his arms, curled up against his shoulder and sound asleep. The baby he had vowed to protect, never realizing that one day he would be called to do just that. Grief sucker punched him, but he willed it back. He had to stay strong for Caden’s sake. “I saw Zooey fly out of here,” he said, rocking back and forth on his heels and patting Caden’s back. “Is everything all right?” Rachel nodded, tight-lipped. Her face was flushed red and marked with lines of strain. She didn’t look much better than he felt. “Well...good.” He hesitated. Obviously this wasn’t a good time for Rachel. He wasn’t even positive why he was here, except for a niggling sensation in the back of his mind that Rachel might be the one person in Serendipity most able to understand what he was going through right now. She narrowed her gaze on him, studying him intently. “You don’t look so good. Would you like to come in?” “Um, yeah. Thanks.” He followed her through the door and took a seat on the plush armchair. Thankfully, the baby was still sound asleep on his shoulder. Seth hadn’t been able to get Caden to stop crying earlier in the day. He’d tried everything to no avail—changing, feeding, rocking. Nothing had worked until the little tyke had finally worn himself out. It was only one of many new challenges he was about to face. Despite the way his family had rallied around him, he’d never felt so alone in his life. “Would you like some coffee? It’ll only take me a minute to make us a pot.” “No, thank you.” She gestured to Caden. “I see you’ve got Caden with you. I love that he has Luke’s blond hair. He’s such a sweetheart. Are you babysitting for Tracy today?” This time he couldn’t hold his grief back. It burned like molten lava from his gut to his throat and he had to swallow hard just to speak. “Tracy’s dead.” Rachel’s eyes widened and she grasped for the arm of the sofa, shakily seating herself. “I’m so sorry. I hadn’t heard.” “To tell you the truth, I feel numb, like I’m in the twilight zone or something. Yesterday afternoon, she dropped Caden off at my house, saying she had a bad headache. She asked me to watch him. I thought I would only be babysitting for a couple hours.” He blinked hard several times to erase the moisture forming in his eyes. “Tracy...she...she passed away last night. She didn’t just have a headache. She had a brain aneurysm. One second she was here and then she was gone. I’ve been with my family since yesterday trying to process everything.” “Lord, have mercy.” Rachel whispered the prayer. “Poor Tracy. Poor Caden.” Rachel’s gaze was full of compassion, but she didn’t speak further, as if she somehow knew he needed to get it all out at once. “May I?” She stood and held out her arms for Caden, who had awoken and was making tiny sounds of distress. As soon as Caden was in Rachel’s arms, his crying abated. To say the woman was naturally gifted with children would be an understatement. Caden was responding to Rachel way better than he had to Seth or even to Seth’s mother or sister throughout the long, grief-filled day. This was so hard to talk about, or even to think about. The circumstances were surreal. He felt more helpless at this moment than he had even when he’d seen his best friend gunned down right in front of his eyes. “You know how the Bible says God won’t give you more than you can bear?” he asked, his voice cracking with strain. She nodded and ran her palm over Caden’s silky hair, quietly shushing the baby. “I don’t think that verse is true. I think God has just given me way more than I can handle.” He pulled in a deep breath and continued. “The reading of the will is going to happen directly after the funeral. I already know what’s in it. Luke and Tracy appointed me as Caden’s guardian should anything ever happen to them, but—I don’t know. I never thought it would actually play out this way. After Luke’s death...well, I should have realized whole lives can change in a split second. But it’s just not something that I wanted to think about, so I put it out of my mind.” “There’s no one in Caden’s extended family who might be able to take him?” “No, Luke told me that wasn’t an option back when he asked me to be godfather. Luke’s parents died in a car crash a few years ago. His grandparents are in an assisted-living facility. Tracy’s dad is disabled from a stroke and needs constant care from her mother. They’re in no position to raise a child, even their own grandson. Tracy has a sister, Trish, but I’ve never met her. Luke told me she took off for New York the moment she graduated high school and never looked back. She wasn’t at the wedding, and she’s never even met Caden, to my knowledge.” He set his jaw to clamp down the emotions roiling through him. “I’m all Caden’s got.” “You’ve got your family to support you.” “Yes, but—” Panic reared and bucked in his chest like a wild stallion. “Luke and Tracy left me the Hollister ranch, as well. It’s been in the family for generations. It’s Caden’s legacy. But I’m not a rancher, Rachel. I hardly even know how to ride a horse, and I don’t know the first thing about running a cattle business. I can’t do this.” Rachel was silent for a moment. “Of course you can,” she said at last. “No. I...I had plans. I wasn’t going to stick around Serendipity. I’ve already got college lined up, although obviously now there’s no way I’m going to go.” His panic was rising steadily in his chest. “I can’t be Caden’s daddy. I don’t know how.” She chuckled mildly. It wasn’t a happy sound, but her expression radiated empathy. “Not to quote clich?s at you, but you know what they say about the best-laid plans. You’ll find a way—a way to take care of Caden and to get your education if you want.” “But a baby.” She nodded. “I understand. That’s why you’ve come to me seeking advice. I can empathize with you because I’ve been there myself. It’s mighty intimidating thinking about raising a child on your own. An unplanned pregnancy really threw my life into turmoil, and I was just a kid myself.” Yes. He’d come here thinking he needed to ask Rachel’s help in caring for Caden. Of course, he needed to get Caden set up in day care so he could spend his days trying to figure out what he was going to do about the ranch. But now he realized it was more than that. Because she really did know what he was going through, the outrageous cyclone of emotions that swirled through him, threatening to blow him away. He looked her right in the eye. Her gaze was shiny, too, as he expected his own was. “I am not responsible enough to raise a child,” he told her. “I’m only twenty-six myself.” She reached out and touched his arm. The contact somehow grounded him. Human-to-human. “I was ten years younger than that when I had Zooey. And I really was all alone. You have your family—and me, if you need me, to help you get your bearings. God brought Caden into your life. He will see you through. It’ll take a while, but you’ll work this out. For Caden’s sake, you have to.” He jerked his chin in a brief nod. He was glad she was straightforward with him instead of couching everything she said in softer language. He desperately needed to be told exactly what to do. “How?” he asked gravely. “By taking it one day at a time.” “Sage advice.” But not nearly enough. “For starters,” she continued, “where is Caden sleeping tonight?” “My place, I guess. I’m staying in one of my mom and dad’s cabins. I suppose I’ll have to move into the ranch house eventually, but right now, I just can’t be there. The memories are too fresh. They hurt too much.” He picked off his cowboy hat and threaded his fingers through his hair. “I hadn’t really thought about it. I can’t seem to think beyond minute to minute, much less one day at a time. How am I going to do this?” “Stand up,” Rachel said, moving to his side. Her voice was strong and determined, as if she were giving him an order. “Now take the baby in your arms.” Seth swallowed hard but did as Rachel bid, tucking a once-again-sleeping Caden against his shoulder. The boy was all toddler, with chubby cheeks and with thick arms and legs, and yet he was so light he seemed to curve right into Seth as he shifted his weight side to side in a rocking motion. The gentle rhythm of the child’s breath against his neck soothed Seth as much as the rocking did Caden. “What are you feeling?” Rachel asked gently. Seth closed his eyes and breathed in Caden’s little-boy scent. How did he feel? Nervous. Overwhelmed. Panicked. Devastated. And yet there was something more, something indefinable, hovering just below the surface. He was responsible for this little human being. And even though it meant his entire life had just been turned upside down and backward, there was something somehow...right...about holding Caden in his arms. He couldn’t name the emotions, but they were there, cresting in his chest. “See?” Rachel murmured, even though Seth hadn’t answered her question aloud. “Pretty special, isn’t it?” “Mmm,” Seth agreed softly, afraid to put his emotions into words. “I have a mobile playpen that you can use until you have time to outfit yourself better. Caden will be able to eat finger food and finely cut meats, fruits and vegetables. I don’t even have to ask if you’re a healthy eater, so I imagine you’ll have everything you need already stocked in your refrigerator. Do you know how to change a diaper?” “Caden is in those pull-up ones. My mom showed me how to work them. Although those dirty diapers are going to take some getting used to.” He wrinkled his nose at the thought. “Since you’ve got the Hollister ranch to worry about, you’re probably going to need someone to watch him during the day. Or is your family on that?” “That’s actually why I originally came over. It wasn’t to break down on you, I promise.” She laid a reassuring hand on his arm. “I know. It just so happens that I have an opening in my day care, so you can bring Caden over in the morning while you take care of whatever needs doing at the ranch. No charge for the first week while you get on your feet and find the lay of the land. No pun intended.” Her joke drew a slight smile from him. “I can’t ask you to do that.” “You didn’t ask. I offered. Honestly, things are going to work out. You may not be able to see it now, but God’s got it all in His capable hands. Start walking the path, step-by-step, even if you can’t see a single thing in front of you. Trust Him to show you the way.” “Mmm,” Seth said again. He wasn’t sure he believed what Rachel was saying, or even understood all of it, but she did, and he didn’t want to contradict her when she was doing so much for him. “You’ll have to baby-proof your house right away. Toddlers have the tendency to get into everything and climb on everything. Caden will bump his head and fall to the floor more times than you’ll be able to count. But we can at least make the bumps less bumpy and the falls less painful.” We? Had he really come over only to find day care for Caden, or had God led him over here for more than that? He knew what Rachel would say if he voiced the question aloud. He appreciated her so much for offering her advice and assistance, but again he had trouble forming the words to express his gratitude. “I know a little bit about baby-proofing. My sister gave me some extra hardware they had left over after putting their own house in order for the twins, but I’m not sure where everything goes or how it works. Samantha or Will can probably help me, but they’re busy with the store, so it may be a few days.” “I’m sure they have their hands full with the grocery and their own kids. I’m free after work tomorrow. I could come over and help you set everything up,” she offered. Caden started hiccuping in his sleep, and Seth and Rachel chuckled softly together. “I guess this will be an adventure,” he admitted. He’d always been one to chase adventure...though he’d never expected to face one quite this huge. There was a big, wide ocean in front of him and he didn’t even know how to trim the sails. But he could learn. And whether it was God or circumstance or whatever, he was grateful for all the support he was receiving. From his family...and from Rachel. What if she hadn’t been the one to win him at the auction, telling him her story and putting her in his head as someone he could turn to in this situation? He didn’t even want to think about that. “Adventure is a good way to look at it,” she said. “You and Caden are a team.” He looked down at the still-hiccuping but soundly sleeping little boy in his arms and his heart welled. He wouldn’t let Caden down, no matter what. He was Caden’s permanent legal guardian and would be the only parent the boy would ever know. It was what Luke and Tracy would have wanted. It was what Caden needed. And it was what Seth was determined to be. A father. Chapter Three (#uba9374b8-94e6-5059-8c00-e6647e1611b8) One day at a time. Rachel was great at doling out counsel but not so much at putting it to use in her own life. Seth was trying to figure out how to parent Caden—and he was looking to her for advice? She felt as if someone had stamped a giant fail sign on her forehead. What use was she going to be to Seth—or Caden—when she didn’t have her own house in order? Actually, helping Seth was a good way to get out of her own head for a while, to forget the constant bickering that had taken over her relationship with Zooey. At least she knew what to do with Caden. She had to admit she was looking forward to Seth bringing sweet Caden over for day care. Rachel loved children of all ages, but there was something about a pudgy toddler, just learning to strike out on his own and explore the world, that really captured Rachel’s heart. And Caden would need all the extra love and attention she could give him. He was fortunate to have such a dedicated guardian in Seth, and he had Seth’s extended family to offer strength and support. He was going to be okay, but Rachel still grieved over the circumstances that had left this boy without his mother and father. And yet she saw something in Seth—his dedication and determination—that made her think he would turn out to be a fine father for Caden in the long run. Seth had entrusted her with Caden’s day care, and she was resolved to do everything she could to make Seth’s transition from footloose and fancy-free to father and rancher as streamlined and painless as possible. In some ways it would be easier for Caden than for Seth. Caden would adapt quickly. Poor Seth knew next to nothing about child care and had admitted he understood little about ranching, either. And now, in the space of one day, he had a child and owned a ranch. Talk about a learning curve. Rachel poured herself a cup of coffee and went out to sit on the front porch and enjoy the early morning. Seth would be coming a bit earlier than the other parents so he and Caden would have more time to adjust to their first day. Most of the time it was harder on the parents than it was on the children to let go that first day. Given Seth’s peculiar situation, she suspected it might be even more difficult for him. His life had undergone so many changes so quickly he probably didn’t know which way was up anymore. Putting everything else aside, she felt sure he was mourning the loss of a sweet, lovely woman who had died far too soon. It was clear Seth had considered Tracy a friend, and her death would have been a shock to him even if Caden hadn’t been in the picture, especially on top of the grief he still experienced over Luke’s death. Caden was all Seth had left of his friends to hold on to. Rachel wondered if it would be difficult for him to let the boy go, even for just a few hours. As for Caden, he might be too young to understand the whole truth of what had happened, but in his own way, he had to be wondering where his mama had gone and why she wasn’t coming back to get him. Rachel was certain he must be missing her terribly. She fought back the tears that sprang to her eyes. She needed to be strong for both Caden and Seth. Her cat, Myst, diverted her attention when he appeared and flopped by her side, his purr like the deep revving of an engine as he groomed himself. Myst would make himself scarce for the rest of the day, having learned the hard way to avoid overexcited toddlers with grabby hands. He was a typical feline, antisocial to most humans except when he wanted to be snuggled and petted on his own terms, and even then he graced only Rachel and Zooey with that honor. Mr. Picky was his nickname. Rachel had just finished her coffee when Seth pulled his car into her driveway. She stepped forward to help him release Caden from his car seat. She laughed, her heart welling, when the little boy wrapped his arms around her neck and squeezed tightly. “This ridiculous thing is more complicated than it looks,” Seth said of the five-point buckle. “It took me forever to figure it out the first time.” “Car seats are one of my many areas of expertise,” she teased, but Seth nodded solemnly. “I imagine so.” A lump burned hot in her throat. It didn’t take a genius to realize he was thinking about all the things he didn’t know about raising a child, and Rachel mentally kicked herself for her insensitivity. She was relieved when he changed the subject. “If you have a moment, would it be okay for me to take a look at your backyard and the play equipment you currently have?” he asked, leaning down to scoop Myst into his arms. He stroked the cat, who in turn nuzzled under his chin, demanding his complete devotion and attention. “We can discuss your needs and then I will draw up some preliminary suggestions on how best to make this work.” “How did you do that?” she asked, so stunned she forgot to answer his question. “Do what?” “Myst doesn’t like anybody, especially men.” He scratched the cat’s ears and chuckled. “Cats like me. I don’t know why. I’ve never had one of my own. Hopefully, I have the same effect on horses and cows.” Seth was such a charmer that Rachel suspected he might have that effect on every living creature he came in contact with, including every pretty young lady who crossed his path, and most of the older ones, too. Cats were especially intuitive, and Myst obviously thought highly of Seth. But as far as the play yard went— “Don’t worry about building anything for me. I’m officially absolving you of any obligation. You have way too much going for you to be concerned about my needs.” She was worried about what she’d be able to do, with the recertification coming up so rapidly, but it wasn’t fair to bring Seth in on it. He’d just landed himself a baby. That took precedence over any problems she was experiencing. She’d just have to figure out how to handle this herself. The most logical thing to do would be to break down the old play equipment on her own and rent a trash bin one weekend to get rid of all the pieces. She could clean up the backyard well enough to pass the inspection. New equipment would have to wait. “No, Rachel. Let me do this for you. You’re helping me out so much by caring for Caden and with all the instructions you’ve given me.” He made it sound as if she were a how-to manual. The thought made her smile. “You’ll be paying me for the day care, remember? Although like I said earlier, don’t forget that the first week is on the house.” “And you paid for me at the auction,” he shot back. He gestured toward the door. “I mean it. I don’t mind building you a new play yard. I know you said you have someone coming to assess the day care soon for recertification. This is important to you—and honestly, I think it will be good for me. Building a project like a playhouse that I know I’ll excel in will take my mind off all the stuff I don’t know how to do. So you see, you’re doing me a favor.” She didn’t see how he could possibly smile after all he’d been through in the past twenty-four hours, but the toothy grin he flashed her worked its charm. She was not immune. How could she say no? With Caden still in her arms, she led Seth out to the backyard and then let the toddler down to play while she talked to his new guardian. Конец ознакомительного фрагмента. Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес». 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