The Butler Did It

The Butler Did It ??? ??? Like every noble in the London peerage, Morgan Drummond, Marquis of Westham, expects his butler to be awaiting his return home - even when that return follows a five-year absence.But he didn't expect the horde of strangers who've taken up residence in his house, courtesy of that enterprising butler and a discreet classified ad. Morgan's plan to toss his unwelcome tenants into the street is thwarted by a beautiful but indomitable debutante, Miss Emma Clifford - who's not averse to a bit of blackmail for a good cause.Now Morgan finds himself squiring the lovely Emma to the ton's most fashionable events - and what's more surprising, he's beginning to enjoy it. Surely he's not falling for such an infuriating woman, even if she does have a way of making him forget his own name? That butler has a lot to answer for - but then again, it's so hard to find good help?. PRAISE FOR KASEY MICHAELS ?Using wit and romance with a master?s skill, Kasey Michaels aims for the heart and never misses.? ?New York Times bestselling author Nora Roberts ?Kasey Michaels creates characters who stick with you long after her wonderful stories are told.? ?New York Times bestselling author Kay Hooper ?If you want emotion, humor and characters you can love, you want a story by Kasey Michaels.? ?national bestselling author Joan Hohl ?Sparkling with Michaels?s characteristically droll repartee and lovable lead characters, this Regency-set romance enchants with its skillful treatment of a familiar formula.? ?Publishers Weekly on Someone To Love ?Michaels demonstrates her flair for creating likable protagonists who possess chemistry, charm and a penchant for getting into trouble. In addition, her dialogue and descriptions are full of humor?.? ?Publishers Weekly on This Must Be Love KASEY MICHAELS The Butler Did It To Michelle Van Norman Tirpak. Always missed, forever loved. Contents One, Two, Three, Etcetera? They Gather Here Together? An Evening at Almack?s Mayfair Madness At The Ball? And Now, Good Night? One, Two, Three, Etcetera? As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives, Each wife had seven sacks, Each sack had seven cats, Each cat had seven kits: Kits, cats, sacks, and wives, How many were there going to St. Ives? ?Anonymous TO BEGIN WITH ONCE UPON A TIME would be, perhaps, a tad facetious. Rather to simply begin at the beginning, or at least as nearly as possible to that part of the beginning where it becomes interesting. Picture England during the Regency. Such a time, such a varied generation. War, civil upheaval, opulence, indulgence, genius and cruelty. Great literature, great inventions, great deeds, great injustices. The English Regency has all of that. Those who live there, happily, also manage to squeeze in a little silliness, a little fun. There are a few, in particular, who might be mentioned now. Who are these people? Why not commence with Morgan Drummond, Marquis of Westham, a gentleman who has been blessed with fine good looks, great wealth and high intelligence?and cursed with a quick temper that, five years earlier, ended in a duel that nearly cost another man his life. Shameful. And Morgan was ashamed, devastated by his actions. What was the matter with him? he asked himself. Did an insult to his latest light-o?-love (what was her name again?) really necessitate a trip to Lincolns Inn Fields and dueling foils drawn at dawn? Was he that mad? Hadn?t he learned anything through his father?s death at the hands of another duelist when he, Morgan, had been only a toddler in leading strings? What had that fight been about anyway? If Morgan couldn?t recall the story, and he was the son of ?Mad Harry,? obviously the reason had been insufficient to the result?his mother a widow, his father?s body moldering in the family mausoleum at Westham. What he did know was that he did not wish his epitaph to read: ?Mad Morgan, laid low by his own wretched temper.? So the chastened and repentant Morgan swore to shun his former hey-go-mad ways and had fled London, retreating to his estate in Westham, to lick his own wounds and examine his life. And he had been exceedingly boring. He had drunk deep and long, then thought, hard and long, and finally decided that he could control his temper. He worked diligently during those five years of self-imposed isolation, remaking himself less in his father?s image and more in what he believed to be his own. He did not, however, metamorphose into Mellow Morgan, as he never quite overcame his inborn arrogance, his penchant for sarcasm, or his most definite disdain for fools. Alas, ho-hum, he was still boring. But at last Morgan, having just passed his thirtieth birthday, and admittedly weary of his reclusive life, believes himself equipped to rejoin civilization once more. Sure of himself, confident in his self-control, he even feels prepared to bear the silliness of a London Season, because yes, indeed, it is time Morgan marries and sets up his nursery, begets himself an heir to carry on the line. He has thought long and hard (and boringly) about this as well. What he needs is a complacent wife, a calm and never ruffled wife, a woman of breeding and some wit, but with a temper as sweet as a May morning?for the sake of their unborn children, naturally. So off he goes, to London. NEXT UP, WE HAVE ONE Miss Emma Clifford who, as it happens, is also on her way to London. Dear Emma. Was there ever a more beautiful female? Poor Emma. Was there ever a more beleaguered female? Emma Clifford is the older child and keeper of the Clifford family, which explains the beleaguered portion of her description. Emma?s mother is lovable, but a bit of a twit. Her brother is a complete loss. Her irascible grandmother is forever reliving her not quite proper past. And they?re all constantly in need of funds. The Cliffords do have one hope. Actually, they harbor quite a few hopes. Emma, however, has just one. She is not a silly girl; she knows she is quite beautiful. And, in London, beautiful is often the key that opens the door to an advantageous marriage. In other words, a good marriage equaled solvency for the entire family. Ah, a financially comfortable existence; always considered A Good Thing To Have, and eternally prized as a cure-all to any woe by Those Who Don?t Have. Although her grandmother keeps telling Emma that, ideally, marriage shouldn?t have anything to do with lining one?s pocket at the expense of being stuck with a belching, scratching buffoon who probably ingests cabbage for breakfast. Her grandmother?s advice to one side, the determined Emma has sold her mother?s diamonds, hocked the family portraits, and traded the services of a fairly good stud horse for the use of an ancient traveling coach and some showy if not quite prime carriage horses. So the Cliffords, like Morgan Drummond, are off to London for the Season. In the Cliffords? case, it is to cut a dash, to shop the marriage mart (already the marquis and the questing young miss have something in common), to trade on Mama?s grasstime friendship with Lady Sally Jersey in order to secure vouchers to Almack?s, and be introduced to the Very Cream of Society. Daphne Clifford, Emma?s mother, can barely contain herself. Daphne, never to be spoken of as The Widow Clifford, is a faded beauty, yet still quite attractive. The years have brought a few lines, a few extra pounds?and not a whit more intelligence than when, a quarter century earlier, she?d tossed herself away on the handsome spendthrift, Samuel Clifford. She agrees that dearest Emma should find herself a wealthy husband. She sees no reason why such a beautiful girl should have the least trouble in Snatching Up the Catch of the Season. Daphne certainly doesn?t expect any difficulties in her own quest for?ta-da!?True Love. Daphne does quite a bit of her thinking in capitals. Fanny Clifford scoffs at her daughter-in-law?s hopes, which she considers as likely to be fulfilled as Daphne?s wish to have Mother Clifford retire to Bath with her elderly cousin Maude, and For Goodness? Sakes Leave Everyone Alone. Fanny is a trifle?well, it could be said that she is very much her own woman. She lived a different London life than debutantes coming to town during the namby-pamby and oh, so proper Regency. A product of a freer, bawdier age, Fanny speaks frankly, behaves just as she wishes, and believes missish girls and milksop gentlemen should be locked up somewhere so that the world shouldn?t have to wince as they mince. Fanny?s hoping for adventure in London, not a wedding ring. After all, she?d been married, and doesn?t quite see the appeal of being legally bracketed to another man who could very well gnaw at his toenails in bed. Definitely unknown to her granddaughter, Fanny has big plans. Or as Daphne might think it: Big Plans. Besides having herself a little fun before she?s too aged to recognize fun even if it toddled up and pinched her on the bottom, she has conjured up a plan to convince at least one of her old lovers to offer up a solvent, handsome, hopefully appealing grandson to wed Emma. One thing Fanny knows for certain is that she will not, for any amount of money, for the possibility of any grand title, allow her dear Emma to wed anyone in the least like her grandson. Clifford Clifford (Daphne had so little imagination), better known as Cliff, is younger than Emma, still two years shy of reaching his majority, but he is old enough to believe he, too, can go cut himself a dash in London Society. To Cliff, this means attendance at mills, bearbaitings, cockfights, and visits to any gaming hell where green-as-grass country bumpkins can be assured that they will leave the establishment with empty pockets. In short, in long, Cliff Clifford is the sort of knock-headed young fool Morgan Drummond could never learn to suffer gladly, even if he had remained at his estate until his blood had cooled enough to form ice chips in his veins. Also traveling to London this Season is one Edgar Marmon, Adventurer. Not to put too fine a point on it, Edgar used to be an Adventurer. Now, at the ripe old age of seventy, he thinks he?s an Adventurer. A man who lives by his wits, and the lack of wits of his victims, the man has run many a rig, usually unsuccessfully, and has more than a few enemies he hopes are older, and slower, and cannot outrun him. Edgar is coming to London with a Grand Idea. A Brilliant Scheme. A Grand Plan sure to line his pockets one last time so that he can retire to Brighton or some such comfortable spot, and prey on rich widows at his leisure. Oh dear, someone else who thinks in capitals. At the moment, Edgar is masquerading as Sir Edgar Marmington, inventor and gentleman?a man who really, really discourages investors from believing they?ll become even more wealthy than they were by lining his pockets with blunt for the privilege of coming in on the ground floor, as it were, of his most ambitious invention to date: converting lead to gold. Of course Edgar discourages investors. And pretty pink pigs are frequently observed orbiting around Parliament in the noonday sun. Already in London but hoping for a change of address is one Mrs. Olive Norbert, the ?Mrs.? being a courtesy title, although no one numbered in Olive?s former acquaintance had found it necessary to live within any such rules of courtesy. Olive is a seamstress of two and fifty, now happily retired, who has even more happily come into a moderate fortune by way of an inheritance from her last client, a fairly dotty woman who dearly loved clothing and definitely disliked her relatives. With no plans to marry, even if someone should ask, Olive is intent only on looking at London through a different window than the small, dusty one in the single cramped attic room she?d inhabited above her former employer?s shop in one of the less fashionable neighborhoods just outside Mayfair. In short, Olive, newly solvent, is intent on having herself a small holiday. Right smack in the center of London Society. She knows she?ll have a splendid time. After all, she?s psychic. How else would she have known that Mrs. Hartford would perish in a nasty fall down the stairs and leave her seamstress five thousand pounds? As Daphne would have said: Mrs. Norbert Could Be Trouble. Perry Shepherd, the Earl of Brentwood, has already been ?trouble? to Morgan Drummond. His lordship had been one of the marquis?s chums in school, and during his one Season in London. Right up until the moment, as a matter of fact, that the marquis had challenged him to that infamous duel over the affections of a comely young Covent Garden dancer (What was her name?). Yet, the duel to one side, the earl still likes the marquis. Really. After all, the scar on his cheek is actually rather dashing. The ladies seem to fancy it, and the earl certainly fancies the ladies, so he?s rather well pleased with the whole thing, even if the scar gives his valet the very devil when he shaves him. Perry also would be happy to take up his friendship with Morgan once more when that man returns to London, sort of help ease the man?s way back into Society. Besides, London has been sadly flat without Morgan there to comment on the foolishness and frailties of the ton and, as Perry well knows, where Morgan goes, it is many things, but it is never, never dull. Yes, the earl will call on his friend Morgan as soon as he learns that the man has arrived at his home in London. There is a staff in residence year-round at the marquis?s Grosvenor Square mansion in Mayfair. Mrs. Hazel Timon, for one, is housekeeper of the marquis?s London domicile. But not for long, as she has a nice little nest egg growing in the trunk at the bottom of her closet. Mrs. Timon rides herd on Claramae, the young, comely but vacant-headed maid of all work on the skeleton staff. Claramae also acts as ladies? maid when needed, and spends as much time as possible flirting with the rascally Riley. Footman, under-butler, groom, coachie, Riley does whatever is needed. He?s happy to be of service. This is obvious by the way his hand is always out whenever he is of service. The Grosvenor Square staff being quite small in the absence of its owner, that leaves just one more servant: the estimable, and quite inventive Thornley. For years, Thornley has played the role of butler to the Drummond family, father and son. He is loyal. He is as proper as one can get without having an actual pole thrust up one?s?suffice it to say, he?s quite proper. Thornley is two more things. He is ambitious, and he is a practical sort who can?t abide waste. Thornley rules the mansion as butler, as majordomo, as the most important, elevated servant, during good times and bad, including the past five long years, while the young master sulked in the country and the London mansion stood empty. But ruling a skeleton staff that does little more than occasionally polish some silver and swipe cobwebs from the corners, while eating their heads off, is not much of a challenge for the man. At least it wasn?t. For the first two Seasons the mansion stood empty as the city came to life from late March through the King?s birthday. For the past three Seasons, including this one, Thornley, acting on his own initiative, has found a way to keep the staff busy. He has been leasing rooms in the mansion to those who need accommodations while in town for the festivities. Because a house, even a London mansion, needs people. Needs life. And the profits aren?t too shabby, either. SO, HOW MANY WERE THERE going to Saint Ives?er, who all will be gathering at that Grosvenor Square mansion? Ticking them off on one?s fingers would get: One small but inventive staff. One Interesting Family. One old friend. One slightly illegal adventurer. One possible killer. Lastly, arriving late and without notice, one dedicatedly mild-tempered Marquis of Westham. Perhaps he should have sent a note?. They Gather Here Together? If possible honestly, if not, somehow, make money. ?Horace TRAFFIC BECAME BOTH more frequent and slower as Morgan Drummond, Marquis of Westham, neared the metropolis of London atop his favorite mount, Sampson. The stallion took exception to nearly every coach, wagon and curricle that approached them along the roadway, and Morgan was kept occupied in restraining Sampson from breaking into a gallop that could only end in disaster?at least according to Wycliff, Morgan?s valet, who rode along just behind him, shadowing him like a damp gray cloud on an otherwise sunny day. It was a cloudy day, in point of fact, but Wycliff could make anything feel worse than it actually was. It was his particular gift. ?There he goes again, my lord!? Wycliff exclaimed in clear (and expected) horror as a dray piled high with empty cages lumbered past. ?Hold him, my lord! Hold him!? Morgan, a top-o?-the-trees whipster who would have no trouble commanding six highly strung and definitely randy stallions while tooling a coach through a field filled with flirtatious mares, merely gritted his teeth and danced Sampson carefully past the dray wagon. ?Remind me, Wycliff, if you will, precisely why you have chosen to accept my invitation to ride with me today,? the marquis drawled as the valet, his face ashen, drew his aged gelding abreast of Sampson. ?You put forth a wish to ride ahead of the coaches, my lord,? Wycliff said, employing both hands on the reins of his persecuted mount. ?I could not in good conscience remain safely in the coach. There?there could well be brigands about, my lord.? ?Too true. Tell me, what had you planned to do if any attacked us? Faint on them?? the marquis asked, casting a short glance at the valet, just long enough to be reminded of the man?s tall, reed-slim and rather badly proportioned body, his bald pate that looked so naked even beneath the man?s low-crowned, broad-brimmed hat (held up mostly by Wycliff?s astonishingly protrudent ears), and the fellow?s narrow, pasty face that must have been turned to the wall when lips were being handed out. ?That said, and considering your truly humbling loyalty to my person, you won?t mind overmuch if I toss you to the first ones we meet, will you?? The valet laughed. Giggled, actually. Nervously. Partly because he was a nervous sort, but mostly because he was one of those unfortunate souls born without the ability to recognize sarcasm, although he did laugh at odd moments, as if he sometimes had inklings that he should. ?You are so droll, my lord, I always say so. Brilliant wit, my lord! I am so proud to be in your employ. Indeed, sir, I exist only for the pleasure of serving you.? ?My, aren?t I the lucky one.? Morgan smiled thinly, and urged Sampson ahead once more. ?Do try to keep up, Wycliff.? ?Yes, my lord, indeed, my lord. Keeping up, my lord,? Wycliff answered, digging his heels into the gelding?s flanks, which served to break the patient horse into a slow and rather bumpy trot. Wycliff was in the way of a test, and the marquis had employed the man three months earlier because, and not in spite of, the valet?s grating effect on his lordship?s nerves. It wasn?t the man?s features that annoyed him; he wasn?t that shallow. It was the nervous, always inappropriate giggle, and the perpetual doomsaying, and, mostly, the man?s creepily subservient ways that set Morgan?s teeth on edge. The way Morgan saw it, if he could make it to London without pummeling the man heavily about the head and shoulders before sticking him skinny-shanks-up in a trunk in the boot of one of his two traveling coaches, he should be able to handle any provocations being in the metropolis for the Season might toss at him. Because he was about to become one of the most sought-after bachelors of the Season, Lord help him. Morgan knew he cut a fine figure atop the bay stallion, dressed in his best hacking clothes, finely polished Hessians, and his favorite curly brimmed beaver. A five-caped dusky gray driving coat fell in neat folds from his shoulders and cascaded over Sampson?s twitching flanks. A fully loaded and ready brace of pistols nested in special pockets built into the saddle in case any of Wycliff?s feared brigands dared approach, and the gold-tipped sword cane had been slid into its holder, also incorporated into the saddle. He wore dove-gray gloves on his hands, covering the gold-and-ruby signet ring that had been his father?s, and had tucked a fine wool scarf beneath his coat, knitted by his mother and handed over two days ago with the admonition to wear it or Catch His Death Of Cold (A pity Lady Westham?s health did not support a sojourn to London; she would have had Kindred Spirits waiting for her there). A handsome man, in his prime at thirty, the marquis could lay claim to startling blue eyes, a thick mop of blacker-than-black hair, a truly glorious, aristocratic nose, a firm, strong jaw, and the physique of a true Corinthian: broad shoulders, narrow through the hips, long, muscular legs. He knew he turned heads; he had always turned heads, even in the nursery. He had always been lucky, and popular with the ladies, and having a title and not inconsiderable wealth had done nothing to diminish the high regard in which he had been held during his first and only London Season. There were even those who had congratulated him on the outcome of his duel with Perry Shepherd, the truest friend one man could have. Fools. Sycophants. Morgan was not looking forward to meeting any of those people this time around, or in following any of the pursuits that had engaged him for most of that first Season. He would not drink to excess, he would not play cards for any but tame stakes, he would avoid mills, and Gentleman Jackson?s Boxing Saloon. These were all occasions of sin for a man with a volatile temperament. Instead, he would frequent the balls, the soirees, the Italian breakfasts for six hundred of one?s closest friends. He?d even force himself through the doors of Almack?s, perish the thought, and in general, he would behave as what he was, a man on the lookout for a wife. When he thought of his plan, he knew it to be a recipe for boredom, and that seemed like a good thing. No temptations, no pretty Covent Garden ankles vied for by all the young bucks, no provocation more than having to deal with Wycliff when the man wrung his hands over the fact that Morgan often preferred to shave himself. Confident, sure of himself, Morgan Drummond, Marquis of Westham, rode on toward London, into the dense, yellow, odoriferous fog that hung over the city, and straight for his destiny. EVEN AS MORGAN RODE toward his destiny, Emma Clifford, along with her mother, Daphne, all but stumbled into the foyer of the marquis?s Grosvenor Square mansion, followed hard on their heels by the maid, Claramae. It was noticed immediately that the maid was weeping, an action, to Claramae, that was as natural, and as frequent, as exhaling. ?Good afternoon, ladies,? Thornley said, for he, as butler, was already present in the foyer. He made it a point to always be present where he was needed, leading to the whispered rumor that he was, in reality, triplets. This seemed to explain to the staff how the man could appear to be in three places at once, with all three watching to make sure the servants missed not a speck of dust on the library shelves, didn?t overlook polishing the doorknobs, or ever dare to sample meals meant for abovestairs. Thornley, his spine rod-stiff, his chin lifted high, took a moment to assess his lodgers. Well, all right, the Marquis of Westham?s lodgers, if one wished to nitpick. He doubted Miss Emma Clifford would have much trouble bagging at least a reasonable husband in the next few weeks, with only her all but nonexistent dowry standing as an impediment to a more brilliant match. The young lady was a beauty, a diamond of the first water. Petite, dark haired, and with stunning gray eyes, she had a look of liveliness about her, not at all a milk-and-water miss. She had conversation, she had wit, she moved with a natural grace, and she must possess the patience of a saint in order to put up with the menagerie that had come to Town in tow with her. Mrs. Clifford the Elder, thankfully not present at the moment, was Imminent Disaster rolling on wheels, and Thornley, with his highly developed sense of self-preservation, had dedicated himself to not watching what Fanny Clifford did, hearing what she said, or speculating on what she might do or say next. Mr. Clifford Clifford, Thornley had decided within five seconds of meeting the boy, was a dead loss, and he refused to think of him, either. Although the mother, the Widow Clifford, held a certain nerve-shredding appeal. Thornley believed in an armful of woman, and Daphne Clifford could fit that bill very well. She had dimples, not just in her plump cheeks, but at her elbows as well, and Thornley had scolded himself mightily when he?d found himself cogitating the odds of dimples also decorating the lady?s knees. All in all, Daphne Clifford had a look of faded glory, gray eyes like the dust of roses, and hair once red but now streaked with silver. A woman of some beauty, for all her short stature, and quite beyond Thornley?s touch. Everyone above a housekeeper was beyond Thornley?s touch; he had accepted that long ago, and had resigned himself to bachelorhood without many regrets. He would not even speculate upon how very comforting warm, dimpled knees might be, pressed up against him, spoonlike, on cold winter nights. ?Good afternoon, Thornley,? Emma said, stripping off her gloves. ?And see if you can turn off that watering pot behind me, if you could, please. It was no more than a simple walk in the Square. You?d think I just led a forced march to Hampstead Heath and back. Mama,? she added, ?Riley will be happy to take your things for you.? Daphne Clifford, who had been staring at Thornley, and smiling rather dreamily, quickly pulled off her gloves, mumbling, ?I?I was just doing that, dear.? ?Yes, miss,? Thornley said, bowing to Emma, then glaring at the sniffling Claramae in his practiced, penetrating way, which quite naturally served to instantly silence her, mid-snuffle. ?If you?ll forgive her, miss, Claramae has quite a fear of fog such as we?ve been enduring these past three days. She once became lost for more than two hours, as I recall, not ten feet from the kitchen door.? Being a proper butler, and loyal to his staff, Thornley refrained from adding that Claramae could also most probably become confused and misplace all sense of direction in a small linen closet. While carrying a blazing lamp. And while gripping a length of stout string tied to the doorknob. Daphne Clifford who, after giving over her gloves, bonnet and pelisse, had been doling out a lint-dusted penny to Riley, snapped her thin purse closed and added her mote to the conversation: ?Why the child thinks we needs must take the air for a full hour every day, even when that air tastes of coal dust and we can?t see our own fingers in front of our faces?why, I sometimes wonder for her mind.? ?Yes, Mrs. Clifford,? Thornley said, bowing once more, even as he shuddered inwardly at this clearly too-intimate conversation with the woman. Wasn?t it enough that he was attracted? Did she have to make matters worse by smiling at him? Showing him those dimples? ?It is my understanding that all social events have been postponed again for this evening due to this pea soup, as we here in London call it.? Thornley would bow and agree with anyone, even the devil himself, if it would get these two ladies out of the foyer and upstairs before the tea grew cold (or his libido grew any warmer). Thornley liked an orderly household, one that ran to his schedule, and Miss Clifford?s daily walks around the Square at three o?clock pained him, and that schedule, dearly. With a sharp look to Riley, and then to the door, the footman jumped to, pushing a rolled-up carpet firmly against the bottom of the door, to keep the yellow fog in the Square, rather than allow it to seep into the mansion. Similar measures had been taken at every door, every window, and the lack of aesthetics bothered Thornley, but not as much as waist-deep fog in the mansion would do. Mrs. Timon had already developed a hacking cough and had been ordered to her bed. ?Is there?? Daphne began, and Thornley ended, ?Tea and fresh, warm biscuits await both you good ladies in the main drawing room. I do believe there is also blueberry jam, your favorite I noticed, Mrs. Clifford. If I might lead the way, madam?? Thornley realized at once that he had made a verbal mistake, adding that bit about the jam in some absurd thought of puffing himself up in Daphne Clifford?s eyes. She immediately grabbed hold of his arm at the elbow, as if they were man and woman, not butler and well-born tenant. A lesser man would have felt a jolt of hope, but Thornley was not a lesser man. He knew his place. ?You?re so good, so kind, Thornley,? Daphne trilled, batting her remarkably lush eyelashes at him. ?La, I fear we must be quite the burden to you, new to London as we are.? ?Not at all, madam,? Thornley assured her as Miss Clifford, whom he had instantly recognized as the wits as well as the anchor of the entire Clifford family, turned to pat Claramae?s arm. ?We?ll take no more walks until this fog is dissipated, I promise. I was foolish to insist, but I do so hate being cooped up inside, ever, no matter how pleasing my surroundings. And I?m very sorry you were frightened out there, Claramae,? she apologized in her pleasing voice. Indeed, all of Miss Emma Clifford was pleasing, to the ears, to the eyes. Even to the mind, unless one was the sort to be frightened by an intelligent female. Still, for all her perfection, she hadn?t got her mother?s dimples, which at least Thornley could only consider a pity. A bleeding pity. ?Yes, miss,? Claramae said, stuffing a soggy handkerchief back into her apron pocket even as she dropped into a quick curtsy. ??Tis just that robbers and murderers lurk in the fog. Everyone knows that.? ?Possibly, Claramae, but if those cutpurses and cutthroats encountered the same problems we had in seeing even two feet in front of us, I imagine they?re all still out there, bumping into each other, cutting each other?s noses off, and no worry to us.? ?Yes, miss. I?ll take your things, miss? Everything will need a good brushing, as it?s so dusty out there.? Emma handed over her bonnet, gloves and pelisse, and Claramae scuttled off toward the baize door under the stairs, leaving Emma to follow in her mother?s wake. She could hear Daphne Clifford still nattering nineteen to the dozen to Thornley. Emma sighed, shook her head and mentally attempted to compose a small homily that would convince her mother that, while Thornley was admittedly a well-setup gentleman, he was their butler, not their host. Not that this would matter a whit to Daphne, Emma realized on yet another sigh. She had never before noticed her mother?s proclivity to gush, to eyelash bat, to simper and giggle. At home, Daphne concentrated on her embroidery. At home, Daphne still spoke well of her husband, dead these three years. At home, Daphne behaved herself. Here, from absolutely the first moment her mother had set eyes on Thornley five short days ago, the woman had been afflicted with some strange mental aberration that had her believing she was a young girl on the flirt. It was embarrassing, that?s what it was, and that Daphne?s old chum, Lady Jersey, seemed to encourage her was only to be considered criminal. Emma knew that Sally Jersey was laughing behind her hand at Daphne, but Sally Jersey had also issued them all vouchers to Almack?s, so Emma had steeled herself to overlook the woman?s rather perverse humor. But only until she had snagged herself a suitable husband. After that, she would cut Sally Jersey dead, and hang the consequences, no matter how much her mother seemed to admire the woman. Emma entered the large main drawing room just as her mother was asking Thornley to please ?play Mother? for them and pour the tea. She?d stopped short of asking the man to sit down, spread a serviette over his knee and join them in their refreshments, and Emma could only be grateful for that small favor. The butler, his ears rather red, cited his inability to linger, as he had pressing duties, and avoided Emma?s gaze as he walked, stiff-backed, from the room. ?Mama, you really mustn?t do that,? Emma said, sitting down on the facing couch, the silver tea service between them. ?Really mustn?t do what, dear?? Daphne asked vaguely, making a great business out of attempting to lift the teapot before sitting back, sighing. ?Much, much too heavy. You know, Emma, this is a very pretty place, by and large, but I don?t understand opulence if it?s too heavy to use.? Emma bit her bottom lip, reached forward to place a cup beneath the spout of the teapot, then tipped the pot on its cradle to pour the tea?as the pot was designed to do. ?Here you are, Mama. You must be chilled. Drink up.? ?Oh, my,? Daphne said, giving the teapot a little push with her spoon. ?Would you just look at that, Emma? What will they think of next?? ?I have no idea, Mama,? Emma said, straight-faced, then looked up as her grandmother entered the room. She resisted sniffing the air for the scent of mischief, because she didn?t want to know, and because she was a well-bred young lady. Which didn?t mean she could overlook the rather shrewd look in her grandmother?s lively eyes. Living with Fanny Clifford was rather like being in charge of maintaining the night fire in a forest, so that it didn?t go out and wolves were able to approach. One could not rest easy, ever. ?Fresh from your nap, Grandmama?? Emma asked, her voice deliberately vague, only mildly and politely interested in whatever answer her grandmother might offer. Because Fanny Clifford never napped, and Emma knew this. What she didn?t want to know was where her grandmother had been the past hour, or what she?d been doing. No sane person would. It was better to pretend to believe a lie, and much easier than trying to explain any of her grandmother?s activities to Daphne Clifford. ?A lovely rest for these weary old bones, yes, dear,? Fanny lied smoothly as she lowered her small, paper-thin self onto the couch beside Daphne. ?And you two were out mucking about in the fog again, I suppose? You?ve a smut of coal dust on your nose, Daphne.? Daphne quickly raised her serviette to her face, exclaiming, ?Oh, no, no! No wonder he looked at me so oddly. I could just Expire. I?m So Ashamed.? ?Twit,? Fanny Clifford muttered, winking at her granddaughter. ?There?s no smut, Daphne. I was merely checking to see if you?re still so arsy-varsy over Thornley. And you are. And still making a cake out of yourself, I have no doubt. My wastrel son must be spinning in his grave, that you?d think to replace him with a servant. Of course, Thornley is butler to a marquis, could even be called a majordomo, so that might have Samuel not rotating quite so fast. The boy always was hot for titles.? ?I am not making a push for Thornley, Mother Clifford,? Daphne protested, but she did not look the older woman in the eyes. ?Doesn?t he have the loveliest posture? Samuel always slouched so.? Emma added two sugars to her tea. ?Grandmama, remember, we are not to specifically mention the marquis in public unless forced to do so, and then just to say that he is our unfortunately absent host. Thornley was adamant about that. I think the poor man must be strapped for cash, which is the only explanation I can find as to why he leases rooms to perfect strangers for the Season. We were even quite vague with Lady Jersey on her single visit here, as you might remember, although she is much too interested in herself to notice where she is when she?s telling all and sundry how very wonderful she is. But we must protect the man?s reputation.? ?Humph. If it?s his reputation he?s worried about, you?d think he?d at least vet whom he leases to better before allowing them to run tame in his household.? Emma put down her spoon very carefully, trying to hang on to her composure. She had two choices: ignore what her grandmother just said?hinted at?or ask the woman what she meant. She must be feeling daring, or else the fog had muddled her mind, because she then took a deep breath and asked, ?What have you done this time, Grandmama? Waited until either Mrs. Norbert or Sir Edgar went out and about, and then pored through their belongings?? ?Oh, don?t be silly, Emma. Your grandmother would never do any such thing. It would be unladylike, and too shabby by half,? Daphne scolded, brushing pastry crumbs from her skirt. ?Would you, Mother Clifford? Sneak about, that is, and poke into drawers and such?? ?Here?s a lesson for you, Daphne. You, too, Emma. Never ask questions you wouldn?t want to hear answered.? Fanny shook off Emma?s silent offer of tea (a move meant to shut the woman up, at least for a few moments), stood, and headed for the drinks table. She picked up the decanter of sherry, made a face at it, then poured herself two fingers of port. Daphne looked to her daughter, her eyes wide. ?She wouldn?t?she couldn?t go poking about in?she?oh, Lord, she did, didn?t she? No, don?t tell me. I don?t want to know. Tell me!? ?She did,? Emma admitted to her mother. Why hadn?t she waited until she and Fanny were alone, before opening this particular jar of worms? ?But,? she added quietly, ?I believe that was yesterday.? Emma looked at her grandmother as that tiny, always energetic woman sat herself down once more, and decided she had to know everything, now. ?What was on today?s agenda, Grandmama? Waiting until one of them fell asleep, and then prying open his or her mouth, to count teeth?? ?A good hiding, Emma, I?ve always said you should have had at least one during your formative years. Don?t badger an old lady, all right? If you behave, I may make you happy and tell you that I have been badly served for my inquisitive nature.? ?You got no reward for your nosiness, you mean,? Emma interrupted. ?Good.? ?A dozen hidings wouldn?t have been enough,? Fanny said, sipping at her port. ?But I tell you, I?m extremely disappointed. Mrs. Norbert, after a careful investigation of her belongings?oh, Daphne, close your mouth before a fly lands in it?is a seamstress.? Emma blinked. ?Well, yes, she said as much, Grandmama, that first night at dinner. A seamstress who came into some inheritance or another. She doesn?t wish to enter Society, but only to be treated like a lady for a few months, being waited on, eating well. She hasn?t tried to hide her past. What of it?? Fanny rolled her still bright-blue eyes. ?A seamstress, Emma. You know what that means. Or, what it usually means, not that old hatchet face would have been more than a penny-a-poke gel, up against some slimy warehouse wall.? Daphne dropped her teacup?it shattered against the edge of the table?before slapping her hands over Emma?s ears. ?Mother Clifford! I?ll not have you saying such things with my innocent daughter here. Or with me here, come to think of it. Samuel always said you had a mouth that needed a good scrubbing with strong soap.? Emma calmly reached up and removed her mother?s hands, unfortunately just in time to hear Fanny go off on one of her favorite jaunts?that of riding up and down her daughter-in-law?s tender sensibilities. ?Oh, stubble it, Daphne. You knew what I meant, which shows you to not be as pure and ladylike as you wish you were. You couldn?t have been, living with Samuel and his constant peccadilloes with various bits of the muslin company. That, dear girl,? she ended, looking to Emma, ?would be whores, lightskirts and, once, when he was particularly flushed from a win at the tables, a kept woman he lost in the next run of his usual bad luck.? ?You never liked him. Your own son.? Daphne sighed deeply. ?And to that, Mother Clifford, I can only say For Shame.? Emma had enough of her mother in her to be at least marginally horrified, and enough of her grandmother in her to have to remind herself not to laugh out loud. Suddenly, Mrs. Norbert seemed a safer topic of conversation. ?How?? she asked at last, ??how do you know Mrs. Norbert is a seamstress, Grandmama, rather than a?a seamstress?? Fanny sniffed. ?Her sewing basket, for one. Packets of pins and needles, a well-worn darning knob, a full set of workmanlike scissors. That basket isn?t for show, I tell you. It has been used. That,? she said, ?and the fact that her underclothes and nightwear are of sturdy, oft-mended spinster quality. Meaning,? she ended, looking to her daughter-in-law, ?they were never meant to see a man, just a long, cold winter.? ?So you did sneak into her room and look in her drawers,? Daphne said, slowly catching up. ?Looked at ?em, picked ?em up and inspected ?em,? Fanny said (as Emma gave in and began laughing), then downed the remainder of her port. ?I had so hoped she?d been a streetwalker, even a kept woman. But she?s a demned seamstress, which makes her about as interesting as the mud fence she so greatly resembles. But I have hopes yet for Sir Edgar. There?s something about that man that screams out to be investigated.? Emma sobered. ?Grandmama, you will not be looking at his drawers, understand? I won?t have it.? ?And I?m not interested in his drawers. He?s older than dirt,? Fanny shot back. ?I?ve got bigger fish to fry, gel. I just want to know our fellow tenants. Or are you looking to get murdered in your bed?? Emma sighed in the midst of picking up shards of very fine china cup and looked to her mother, who was going rather pale. ?She doesn?t really mean that, Mama.? ?Yes, she does,? Fanny said, winking at her granddaughter. ?There we?d be, dreaming sweet dreams, and bam, eternal rest, with sewing scissors sticking out from between our ribs. Or maybe a pillow over our heads, pressed there by Sir Edgar, who is really a bloody murderer who, even as we lay there, cold and dead as stones, spends the rest of the night going through our drawers.? ?She doesn?t really mean that, either, Mama,? Emma said as Daphne clutched an embroidered silk pillow to her ample bosom. ?Grandmama, you?re impossible.? ?And I pride myself on it,? Fanny said, standing up to go refill her glass. ?Except, of course, you?re so easy, Daphne. I really wish you?d give me more incentive to tease you. But, then, I?ve got other fish to fry here in London, don?t I? And them I?ll tease to much better effect.? Emma laid the pieces of broken china on the tea tray and sat back once more, to stare in her grandmother?s direction. ?What are you planning, Grandmama? We?ve got some funds left, but probably not enough to bribe your way out of the local guardhouse. And, come to think of it, we?d first need to take a family vote as to whether or not we?d wish to spend our last penny saving you. I?d consider that, Grandmama, as I know where my vote would go, and Cliff still hasn?t quite forgiven you for making him ride all the way here inside the coach with us.? ?You should both thank me for that. You know what would have happened if he rode up with the coachman. He?d have found some way to take the ribbons, and we?d all be dead in a ditch right now.? ?Dead, dead, dead,? Daphne lamented, still clutching the pillow. ?Have you no other conversation today, Mother Clifford?? ?I do, Daphne, but you don?t want to hear it. Now, Thornley told me that all social events have been postponed again because of this fog, which leaves us at loose ends this evening, again. I?m bored to flinders, frankly, so what I thought was that we could corner Sir Edgar, all three of us, and press him for a bit of his history. You know. Where he was born, who his father was, why he keeps several extremely large, heavy trunks hidden behind the locked door of his dressing room. I saw them go up the stairs when he arrived, but they?re sitting nowhere they can be seen. He has to have locked them up for a terrible reason.? ?Let?s talk about locking you in your dressing room,? Emma said succinctly, ringing the small bell on the tea tray, at which time Thornley appeared in the doorway, just as if he?d been standing right outside all along, waiting for the summons?and hearing every word the ladies said. ?You rang, Miss Clifford?? Thornley inquired, already picking up the tea tray, and not appearing at all surprised to see that one of the marquis?s priceless china cups was now in seven uneven pieces. ?Yes, thank you, Thornley,? she said, laying her damp, tea-stained serviette on the tray. ?I was wondering?? she looked straight into the man?s eyes ??do you happen to know the whereabouts of Mr. Clifford?? Thornley, eyes quickly averted, looking somewhere in the vicinity of the portrait of the late Marquis and several of his hounds that hung over the mantel, said, ?I believe he is resting, Miss Clifford.? ?He?s still in bed?? Emma sighed. ?It?s nearly gone five, Thornley. What time did my brother get in this morning?? ?I couldn?t really say, Miss Clifford,? Thornley said, still avoiding her gaze, even as she stood?which didn?t come close to putting her on eye level with the man, but she?d hoped to at least be able to read his expression. But Thornley had no expressions, other than Proper, and possibly, Prudent. ?Very well, as I know he accompanied my brother, I?ll ask Riley,? Emma said, brushing past him as she headed for the stairs. She stopped, turned back toward the pair of sofas. ?Mama? Do you have another penny?? ?That won?t be necessary, Miss Clifford,? Thornley said stiffly. ?Riley escorted Mr. Clifford to a?a sporting event last evening, and they returned here at approximately six this morning, Mr. Clifford rather the worse for wear. Riley has been reprimanded, Miss Clifford.? ?A sporting event?? Fanny asked. ?What was it? Mill? Cockfight? Oh, wait. A sporting event, you say, Thornley? Or a sporting house?? Emma watched as Thornley?s ears turned bright red. Poor fellow. He could keep his spine straight. His expression never betrayed what he might be thinking. And she hadn?t really needed to see his eyes. Those ears of his were a dead giveaway. ?Ah!? Fanny crowed, punching a fist into the air. ?Good for him, and about time, too!? Daphne, who had come within Ames Ace of swooning into the cushions at the thought of being murdered in her bed, now gave way to the blessed darkness that swam before her eyes. DARKNESS WOULD HAVE BEEN swimming in front of Morgan?s eyes, save for the fact that the fog wouldn?t let it. The entire countryside had turned a thick, ugly gray-yellow, slowing the progress of the pair of coaches to a crawl. They should have reached London hours ago, he knew, snapping shut his pocket watch after checking the time. He?d returned to the coach at the last posting inn, to rest Sampson, and because he did not much care for the feel of the gray-yellow damp on his face, but it was now past his usual dinnertime, and he was hungry. Damn early country hours, where he?d become accustomed to eating his main meal long before six. ?We still should arrive before eight, don?t you think?? he asked a morose and rather pale-looking Wycliff, who didn?t seem quite at his best riding backward in the coach. ?In plenty of time for supper.? ?I?I really hadn?t thought much about?about food, my lord,? the valet choked out, somehow able to speak without really opening his teeth. ?Really? And here I am, famished. As I recall the thing, Mrs. Timon always had a way with a capon. Gaston will be in charge of the kitchen while we?re there, but for the most part, Mrs. Timon does just fine. Except for the eel. Don?t care for eel, Wycliff,? Morgan said, watching the man closely. ?I?I also don?t care for?for eel, my lord.? Morgan was being perverse, he knew it, but he had cause. Wycliff had made a cake of himself after departing that last posting inn, insisting almost to hysteria that the three harmless-looking farmers who had shared the common room with them were sure to follow the coaches, intent on slitting their throats. Morgan would consider a figurative crawl inside Wycliff?s head, just for a moment, to see where the man?s brainbox had been wound up incorrectly, except he?d first have to fight his way through the maggots that doubtless collected there. ?No? Then, at last, we?re agreed on something. The thing about eel, Wycliff, is that rather rubbery texture when it isn?t cooked just right. Do you know what I mean? It can be swimming in the best, most creamy parsley sauce, but if you put it in your mouth and it sort of bounces off your back teeth, well?? God was both testing him and punishing him, Morgan decided, as Wycliff tossed up his accounts all over his lordship?s shiny Hessians. THIS WAS IT, the final test of his resolve. Edgar Marmon, Adventurer, and currently known as Sir Edgar Marmington, counted to ten to calm his queasy stomach as he stood just outside the tavern at the bottom end of Bond Street. He was getting too old for this, and knew that, if he hesitated, he would be in danger of losing his nerve. But, as he was also in no monetary position to turn tail and run, and too aged to contemplate employing the sweat of his brow in an honest day?s work?probably because he?d never used the words ?work? and ?honest? in the same thought?he screwed himself up to the sticking point and soldiered on. Once inside, his gaze roamed the place, seeking into the darkest corners, on the lookout for anyone who might see through his disguise of now snowy-white hair, a bushy white mustache, and the cane he used to support his limp, a leftover of his valiant service against the French, years earlier. If one could count tagging after the army valiant as, for the most part, he had hidden himself in the rear during the day and left his visits to the battlefields to the dark of night, when he scavenged for any bits of loot he could find and carry away. If, not to make too fine a point on it, one could even call it a limp, as Sir Edgar, just to be sure he?d keep favoring the correct leg, placed a few pebbles in his left boot each morning, to remind him. Sir Edgar selected the perfect small table in the corner, and carefully sat down in the chair that positioned his back to the wall. He ordered a bottle and two glasses, and announced very clearly to the disinterested barmaid that he was waiting for his good friend, the Viscount Claypole, to join him. He?d wait a good long time for that, too, as Sir Edgar had made it his business to send the viscount a missive in the middle of the night, telling him he needs must hie himself home at once, as his father, the earl, was on his deathbed. As Claypole was located nearly thirty miles above Leicester, and the viscount was looking hard at finally inheriting his earldom, Sir Edgar was not disappointed in the man?s alacrity in obeying the summons, and waved him on his way from an alley as the viscount?s coach set north at first light. Two or three days to Claypole. More, if this fog had drifted to the countryside. A few days? rest as the viscount asked his father, repeatedly, ?Are you quite sure you?re not dying?? A few days for the return trip. And, by then, nobody would remember that Sir Edgar had even mentioned the man?s name. ?Oh dear, oh dear, where can he be?? Sir Edgar said several times over the next hour, as he consulted his pocket watch, as he looked anxiously toward the door to the street, sighed. He only needed one. Two could be a problem, and three were definitely too many. More than one meant enough for a conversation, some shared contemplation, even an opening for a modicum of sense to overtake boundless greed. No, just one, that?s all. He was considering if he should give it up as a bad job, and head for another tavern where the gentlemen of the ton thought it wonderful to rub elbows with the hoi polloi, select another target, when his last ?oh, dear? finally caught the attention of the well-dressed, and fairly well into his cups gentleman at the next table. ?A problem, sir?? the man asked. Then, without waiting for an invitation, he picked up his glass and his bottle and joined Sir Edgar. ?You?re waiting for someone, right? So am I, but I?ve got the feeling old Winfield is still probably hiding his head under the covers. We drank fairly deep last night, and the man doesn?t have the liver he should.? He stuck out his hand. ?John Hatcher.? Yes, Sir Edgar knew that. John Hatcher. No title, but a family that went back to the Great Fire (and may even have started it, if all his ancestors were as inept as this particular member of the Hatcher clan). Money that went back ever farther than that conflagration. Brains that had got misplaced somewhere along the way. Oh, yes, Sir Edgar knew all about John Hatcher. ?It is a pleasure, sir,? Sir Edgar said, allowing his thin, trim hand to be half crushed in the bearlike grip of the much larger man. ?Sir Edgar Marmington. I?m new to the city, never been here before, but my old school chum, Claypole, promised to?um?show me the sights. Can?t imagine where he is.? ?Claypole? Bit of a dry stick, that, don?t you think? I mean, maybe you wouldn?t know, not if you haven?t seen him since your school days, but he?s dull as?as a clay pole. Har! Har! That was a good one, eh? No, friend, you don?t want him. Claypole?s idea of seeing the sights would be a tour of all the churches, Lord help you. You?re better for him gone.? Sir Edgar smiled, all attention. ?Really? Not that I?m the hey-go-mad sort myself, understand. Sadly bookish, actually. But we?ve been corresponding, the viscount and myself, and he?d seemed so interested in my work?my travels through the ancient lands, my discovery of that old tome that told all about?? Now Sir Edgar sighed. ?I had so wanted to tell him in person that I?m wonderfully close now?at the very brink of discovery. He?s been so generous, subsidizing me monetarily in my research all these twenty years or more, you understand, for the greater end, the final reward. All I need are a few more things to complete my duplication of the monks? experiments, the alchemist?s notes, and he?d promised?but, no, this is of no interest to you.? ?Probably not,? Hatcher said, tossing back the contents of his glass, and then pouring himself another measure of wine even while calling for a full bottle. ?Don?t think I ever read a book, God?s truth. Pride m?self on that. Monks, you said? And what the devil?s an alchemist?? Sir Edgar sat back, looked around the room nervously, then leaned in close, to whisper to John Hatcher?. ?WHAT?S THIS MESS?? Olive Norbert whispered to Daphne Clifford in her booming voice (which is to say, she was probably heard in Tothill Fields, by little old ladies with brass ear trumpets), as she employed her fork to poke suspiciously at something on her plate. ?It don?t look right. Looks sick.? ?More than sick, Mrs. Norbert,? Fanny said, winking at Emma. ?It?s dead. And, as it?s escargot?that would be a snail, Mrs. Norbert?a snail, minus its shell, it demned well better would be dead, or I?ll be marching into the kitchens myself to ask why not. Oh, and because you?re looking as if you don?t believe me, please allow me to state this very firmly?it?s food.? ?Not on my plate, it ain?t,? Olive Norbert declared, pushing the serving of genuine French snails away from her with the tip of her fork. ?Slimy things, leaving trails up the wall in the damp. Here now, you. Cart this mess off,? she commanded to Riley, doing duty at the table this evening. ?Bring me some meat, boy. Bloody red with juice. And a pudding. Go on, hop to it! I?m paying down good money for snails? In a pig?s eye, I am. Oh, and some ham, while you?re about it. It?s meat I want, and meat I will get or know the reason why.? As Mrs. Norbert was twice Riley?s size (width-wise), and a paying guest, Riley hopped to, ready to serve, although it grated on him something awful, it really did. Mrs. Norbert was a pudding herself, a short, fat prawn with tiny, mean green eyes glinting out of a lumpy face, and with piss-yellow hair that frizzed here, curled there, but didn?t quite cover the shine of skin on the top of the behemoth?s head. She was no better than him. Maybe a whole lot worse. ?And it?s not me wanting you to try to cudgel that ugly brainbox of yours to think up a reason why, no, ma?am, it?s not,? Riley muttered under his breath as he turned to walk away. Emma heard him, however, and kept her head down, to hide her smile. Mrs. Norbert might be crude, bordering on obnoxious most times, but she also had a point. When pinching the purse strings tight, the first thing to be sacrificed was meat. There had been many a meatless evening in the Clifford household until the next quarter?s allowance arrived from her father?s small estate. ?Um, Riley?? Daphne called timidly. ?If?if I could also have this taken away? I?I think there may be eyes in it.? ?Oh, all right,? Fanny said, waving her hand. ?We all want these snails gone, Riley. Might as well own up to it. Fancy is as fancy does, and I don?t really fancy chewing on these things. What?s up next?? ?I?ll check straightaway, madam,? Riley said, gathering up the ?snail course? and piling the plates on his arm. ?Just nip belowstairs to ask Mrs. Timon.? ?Evening, all. Started without me, I see. Riley, you rotter, you look better than me, and I consider that an insult, I truly do.? Riley, and the rest of the company, turned in the direction of the sound, to see Clifford Clifford lurching into the room like a man who has been at sea for months and was just now touching down on dry land, holding on to chair backs until he could collapse into his own chair, beside his sister. ?About time you showed up, you pernicious little weasel,? Fanny said from her position at the bottom of the table. ?Shameful, a man who can?t hold his spirits. You look terrible.? And he did. Other than the lurching from chair to chair, Cliff?s dark hair appeared faintly greasy, and one lock hung down unflatteringly over his normally light gray but at the moment quite bloodshot eyes. His cravat was askew, his waistcoat misbuttoned, and his jacket still resided in his room rather than across his shoulders. Daphne gasped at her beloved son?s disheveled appearance and rose from her seat, grabbing up her serviette and dipping it into the floral arrangement in the middle of the table. ?Here, darling, cool water for your aching head,? she said, after racing around to the other side of the table, trying to dab her son?s forehead. ?Mama will fix.? Cliff fought his mother away by turning his head this way and that, and finally by grabbing the serviette and tossing it to the floor. ?Don?t do that, Mama, I?m not a child,? he said, and Daphne, accustomed to taking orders from anyone in breeches, promptly returned to her chair and sat down. And proceeded to sulk. Over the course of her marriage, she had quite mastered the injured sulk. ?If you?re not a child, Cliff, I propose you stop behaving like one,? Emma said, resigned to her role as her brother?s keeper. Cliff took great exception to his sister?s mild rebuke. ?Child, am I? I?m head of this household, remember? I?m the man. So what?s he doing, sitting at the head of the table?? Sir Edgar looked up from his plate?the one that now held three servings of escargot, because he was one, hungry, and two, sitting closest to Riley as he?d tried to leave the room with the rejected dishes. ?Forgive me,? he said, smiling at the ladies. ?In an attempt to render myself politely deaf during a domestic upheaval that I, as a gentleman, have chosen to ignore?have I missed something? Oh, hallo there, Clifford. Mind if I pretend I didn?t see you join us?? ?Ha! Very good, Sir Edgar,? Fanny said approvingly. ?Now, if you can say you likewise didn?t notice my daughter-in-law?s silly outburst, I?d say you were kin to my late husband, who could blissfully ignore me if I entered the room with my hair on fire if he thought I might ask him to put it out.? ?My thanks, madam, for being compared to your beloved husband. I am honored, at least I think I am,? Sir Edgar said, smiling as Riley laid a plate groaning under the weight of roasted beef in front of him. ?Not if you knew him,? Fanny said, winking at Sir Edgar. ?Cliff, over there, puts me in mind of him most, after my late son. None of the three of them cared a jot save for their own comfort. Luckily, my late husband paid so little attention to me that I was free to find my own pleasures. Greatest pity of my life has to be that my son turned out to be his son as well. Could have gone either way, you understand. Several ways, actually.? ?Mother Clifford!? Daphne exclaimed, looking straight at Emma with a look meant to say ?in heaven?s name, Do Something.? ?We missed you at luncheon today, Sir Edgar,? Emma broke in gamely, smiling at the man as she leaped toward the first thing to jump into her head. ?Were you out, in this horrid fog?? ?Only for a few hours, Miss Emma,? Sir Edgar said, ?and I chanced to meet a delightful man. Mr. John Hatcher. Is the name familiar to anyone?? ?No, I can?t say that it is,? Fanny said, sitting back in her chair, sorry to have the subject changed, just when she was having so much fun. ?I fear not,? Daphne apologized, still looking at Cliff and mentally rebuttoning the boy?s waistcoat. ?I knows him,? Mrs. Norbert said, her mouth full of beef. ?Sent his latest fillies to our shop, to dress ?em out. Great fondness for red satin he had, John Hatcher. Paid his blunt on time, sometimes with a little extra for us in the sewing room. A real toff.? Thornley, who had decided it was cowardly to completely avoid the dining room, heard this last bit of wisdom from Olive Norbert as he pushed open the swinging door?and immediately retreated to the kitchens. And he?d tried so hard to fit together a comfortable group for the Season. Next year, he promised himself, he would require extensive references! JOHN HATCHER STOOD in the middle of the enormous study holding the extensive library his family had collected over the years, and frowned as he approached the wall entirely devoted to blue and green covers. ?Anderson?? he called over his shoulder to his man of business. ?Be a good fellow and find me a book on alchemists. We must have one. Lord knows we have everything else.? Anderson put down the newspaper. ?Alchemists, sir? I know what they are, or what they were purported to be.? Hatcher snatched up his snifter of brandy and plunked himself down in the facing chair in front of the fireplace. ?Purported? Is that good? Tell me.? ?Well, sir, the most venerable practice of alchemy is believed, by most scholars and devot?es, to have been originally generated in?? He hesitated, realizing his life would be made immensely easier if he employed as few large words as possible. ?That is, alchemists began their work a very long time ago, in a faraway country. Very wise men.? His employer leaned his elbows on his knees, and grinned. ?Wise, eh? How do you know?? Anderson hadn?t kept his position for fifteen years without learning how to please his employer. ?I?I think they wore pointy hats, sir.? Hatcher nodded eagerly. ?Yes, they would, wouldn?t they? With stars on them, I?ll wager. So where are they now? These alchemists?? ?Unless there are a few more recent adherents to the tenets, I think it would be safe to say that they?re all quite dead, sir. Although there are those who say that, before succumbing to their mortal ills, they may have succeeded in discovering a way to turn base metals into gold.? ?Ah-ha!? Thatcher said, thrusting his fist into the air. ?And they probably wrote it all down somewheres, how they did it. I mean, you?d write it down, wouldn?t you? How to do it?? All right, so now Anderson was interested. ?Yes, sir. I?d write it all down. Why do you ask?? ?None of your business, boy, none of your bloody business,? Thatcher bit out, and quit the room. AS WAS CUSTOMARY in all the great houses, the females gathered in the drawing room after dinner, taking their tea there while the men remained in the dining room, tossing back brandy, gnawing fruit and blowing a cloud with their cheroots. ?There?s something havey cavey about Sir Edgar,? Fanny pronounced, sipping brandy?not a lady?s drink, but Fanny had her own definition of what a lady does, which had a lot to do with what that lady wants. As Daphne had picked up her embroidery and was busy counting stitches, and Emma was pointedly ignoring her grandmother, it was left to Olive Norbert to ask, ?Like what? Seems all right to me.? Fanny rolled her eyes. ?And, if I but valued your opinion, Mrs. Norbert, that would weigh heavily with me, I assure you. The man is too clever. Too clever by half.? ?You?re just saying that because you prefer your men stupid,? Emma said before she realized that, yes, her mouth could move before her brain was fully awake to what it was saying. ?Not true, my dear. I can?t abide Cliff. Couldn?t stand his father, or his father before him. And if you want to find three more stupid men, I suggest you take a lantern and have Mrs. Timon pack you a lunch.? ?My Cliff is not stupid, Mother Clifford,? Daphne said, putting down her embroidery. ?His last tutor told me he?s quite inventive.? Emma refused to meet her grandmother?s eyes, but just waited for that woman?s comment. ?Inventive, is it? Of course. That would explain how the idiot child was sent down last term for throwing his lantern at a mouse he saw peeking at him from a corner of the room. I say the boy?s just lucky his eyebrows grew back.? ?More tea, anyone?? Emma asked, trying not to look at Mrs. Norbert. ?It was an accident, and I would take it as a kindness, Mother Clifford, if you were not to speak of Cliff any more this evening,? Daphne said, picking up her embroidery once again, as counting stitches was less stressing than listening to her youngest child?s less-laudable exploits trotted past her. Olive Norbert shoved another pastry into her already fairly full mouth, and said, ?You know, I?m ponderin? this, what you said. Sir Edgar says he?s never come to London before, but I asked him to pick up some number-three lacing for me at m?old shop, and he didn?t even ask the way. I didn?t think on that until now. How?d he do that?? ?A guide book? A map? Inquiring of someone he passed on the street?? Emma suggested, wishing the woman would keep her questions to herself, and praying that her grandmother would not think it wonderful to share whatever she had discovered about the man on her visit to Sir Edgar?s bedchamber that afternoon. Fanny tapped one slightly gnarled finger against her chin. ?Possible. Possible. Oh, and he is not acquainted with the marquis. I already asked him that, and he said he did same as us, answering the newspaper advertisement.? She smiled sweetly at Olive. ?Someone read it to you, Mrs. Norbert?? ?I can read for myself,? Mrs. Norbert said, raising two of her three chins in defiance. ?I can also pick you up and toss you over my shoulder, old lady.? Emma stood up, putting herself between her grandmother and the irate seamstress. ?Please, please, Mrs. Norbert, forgive my grandmother. She?s, um, elderly?? ?She?s mean as a snake, that?s what,? Mrs. Norbert said, sitting back in her chair and crossing her plump arms over her chest. ?I know you don?t want me here, think you?re all so hoity-toity and better?n me. And I don?t care. Long as I?m eating good.? ?And Lord knows you?re doing plenty of?? Fanny began, but Emma whirled on her and glared. ?Sorry,? she said quietly. ?All right, all right, I?ll put the gloves back on. It?s this demned fog, that?s what it is. Look at it, creeping in under the windowsills. We?re all just stuck in here, cheek by jowl, and I?m tired of it. I have plans.? Hearing her grandmother mention that she had plans set Emma?s teeth on edge. This couldn?t be good?. ?THIS FOG COULDN?T be worse,? Morgan Drummond said, peering out the side window of his coach, trying to see past the minuscule yellow glow cast by the few gas lamps lining the street, to the buildings beyond. ?I think we?re close now, but I can?t be sure. Wycliff? For God?s sake, man, stop clutching the door as if a great fog monster was going to yank it open at any moment, pull you outside and bite off your head. I?ve given up my hopes of that a good hour ago. Ah?we?re stopping.? Morgan drew the edges of his cloak over his knees and tied the laces at his throat, then reached for his curly-brimmed beaver on the seat beside him. ?Heave to, Wycliff, we?ve arrived.? ?How?how can you be sure, my lord? I don?t see anything out there.? ?True, neither do I. But as the nothing out there is highly preferable to the something in here, I?m willing to hazard the gamble.? So saying, he opened the door on his side of the coach, kicked down the steps and then ignored them to hop onto the cobbles, nearly coming to grief as the slippery stones sent him momentarily off balance. ?We?re here, your lordship,? the coachman called down to him unnecessarily, even as servants riding in the second coach (normally following far behind the master?s coach, but tonight, because of the fog, riding directly on its heels), bustled forward to assist the marquis. ?We?ll just drive around to the mews and unload the baggage and see to the horses.? ?Do that, Briggs, and thank you. Make sure Sampson is taken care of, as well? Then take yourself to the kitchen, for something to eat.? ?Yes, my lord,? Briggs assured him, as assorted Westham servants and grooms got on about their business. Wycliff pushed two of them out of the way in his haste to be the one who ushered Morgan up the rounded set of steps, to the double front doors, lit on either side by dying flambeaux. ?This way, my lord. Watch your step, my lord. I?ll bang the knocker for you, my lord.? ?Control yourself, Wycliff, before you do yourself an injury. I?m not in my dotage yet, I can knock at my own door,? Morgan said, lifting the knocker. Then he hesitated. ?Strange. The knocker shouldn?t be on the door, as I?m not in residence.? ?Shoddiness, my lord,? Wycliff said quickly. ?It?s the only answer. The master?s gone and slack seeps in everywhere. I?ll be sure to have a remonstrative word with the staff.? ?Do, Wycliff, and I?ll have a remonstrative word or two with you, understand? Thornley is my family?s treasure, and is not to be read a lecture by a skinny shanks like you,? Morgan said, giving the knocker three sharp hits against its brass base. ?But?but I should announce you, my lord. It?s my duty?my pleasure?my?? ?I don?t announce myself at my own door, either,? Morgan said, putting a quick period to that argument. But he was maintaining his composure, albeit with a firm application of will. Wycliff did serve a purpose: proof that his master could control his once-volatile temper. The door opened and Morgan was presented with a fairly well set up young footman, dressed in the Westham livery, wearing a powdered wig, as was the custom. And gnawing on a chicken leg, which was not. Morgan looked at the lad, looked him up and down, and then stepped inside the mansion as the footman backed up three paces, his eyes wide, the chicken leg still stuck in his mouth. ?I?d hand over my hat and cloak, but I have a fondness for both, and wouldn?t wish them clutched in your greasy paws. New, aren?t you? What is your name, boy?? ?Ri-Riley, sir,? the footman managed to choke out before looking at the chicken leg and quickly hiding it behind his back. This was the Quality standing before him, and Riley knew it. A very tall and broad and intimidatingly male bit of the Quality. ?You?you?d be standing in the foyer, sir.? ?Indeed, yes, how observant of you. But we?ll soon correct that, won?t we? Kindly rouse Mrs. Timon and tell her I wish refreshments in the drawing room in half an hour. She need not bother to cook anything. Cold meat and fruit will do. And a loaf, one with seeds, as I much prefer that.? ?You?you?re wanting?? ?Magnificent! So heavy, too. It could fall.? Morgan looked to Wycliff who, for all his fine promises that he was a valet of much experience and familiar with the workings of a great London house, serving an exalted master, was now standing, mouth agape after his exclamation, apprehensively staring up at the remarkable chandelier brought from France fifty years previously by an earlier Marquis of Westham. ?Here now, I can see the fog swirling up the stairs, Riley,? Thornley called out as he looked over the curving banister. ?Close the door, boy, and stuff those rugs against it again. Must I be everywhere at once? It isn?t enough that young Mr. Clifford is?my lord?? Thornley?s heretofore unblemished record for being in the right place at precisely the correct time suffered a serious blow as, if he?d been in the right place at the correct time at this moment, he would be in deepest, darkest Africa, trying to hide himself from the marquis. ?Thornley,? Morgan called out, smiling up at the man. ?Good to see you again, my good fellow. Been a little slack at the post, have you?? he asked, gesturing to Riley, who was still trying to figure out what to do with the chicken leg. ?My lord, I?I?? Thornley all but stumbled down the stairs, stairs he would never otherwise employ, unless in the performance of his duties. ?It?s?it?s so good to see you again, my lord.? ?Good to see you as well, Thornley. I know it?s late, nearly ten, isn?t it? I would have been here much earlier, save for this cursed fog. And, by the look on your face, I see I also should have warned you of my arrival. But you?ve always run this pile with such efficiency, I didn?t think it would matter. Beds aired and ready, I?ll wager?? Riley, now that the chicken leg was safely deposited in the sixteenth-century china vase that also held a few large umbrella sticks, had begun to pay attention. Slowly, and with increasing horror, the footman picked up all the bits and pieces of information that had been sent to his brain over the past few moments, and assembled them in something approaching order?to be immediately followed by sheer panic. Wycliff had closed the door and kicked the rug back into place to keep out the fog, and was now gathering up his lordship?s things, which left Riley with nothing more to do than hold out his hand, a move his terrified brain would not even entertain. No coin for his troubles, not tonight, and no place to put his head tomorrow night, either, unless it would be on moldy straw, in the local guardhouse. He looked to Thornley in mute appeal. Thornley was looking at Morgan. And Morgan was beginning to think there might be something very wrong. ?Thornley? I?m tired, and would like to go to my rooms for a moment. I?ve already asked this boy here?what?s your name again, boy? Riley, was it? I?ve asked him to have Mrs. Timon prepare something and have it ready in the drawing room once I?ve had myself a bit of a wash. I feel as if I?ve brought half the road dirt in here with me. So??? Morgan put out an arm, gesturing at the staircase, which Thornley still stood in front of, his long arms outstretched, one hand pressed against the wall, the other gripping the newel-post. ?Thornley? I?d like to go upstairs.? Thornley blinked, something he hadn?t done in more than a full minute, and looked to his right and left. ?Forgive me, my lord,? he said, dropping his arms to his sides. He should begin attending church again. God was punishing him for his sins of omission, that?s what it was. And for thinking about Daphne Clifford?s knees. ?It?s just that it has been so long, my lord. You?you resemble your late father more greatly now. In fact, you?you?ve given me quite a start.? ??Tis both a start and finish, I?d say,? Riley muttered, backing against the wall in the hope his lordship would forget he was in the grand foyer at all. Morgan started toward the staircase. ?If I may be so bold, my lord,? Thornley said quickly, turning to climb the stairs just behind his lordship, ?may I suggest that his lordship goes directly up to his rooms to rest and recover from his long journey. I will see that a bath is prepared in your dressing room, to ease the aches and indignities of travel, and personally bring you a repast of the best Mrs. Timon has in the kitchens.? Morgan hesitated at the head of the staircase, casting a look toward the closed doors leading to the main drawing room. ?Got the place in dust sheets, do you, Thornley? All right, I understand. Nothing to worry about, I?m an understanding man. I wouldn?t wish to discommode you or any of the staff this late in the evening.? He turned down the hallway and headed for the next flight of stairs, calling over his shoulder, ?Just some warmed water and towels, Thornley, and that food. And a bottle. I?m so weary I could probably sleep where I am. As it is, I?ll be asleep before my head hits the pillow, and I doubt even a pitched battle outside my windows would rouse me before noon tomorrow.? ?Yes, my lord,? Thornley said as he turned and headed for the servant stairs, to rouse Mrs. Timon and gather the rest of the meager staff, knowing that noon tomorrow would come soon enough, and that, unless he could conjure up a miracle, the pitched battle his lordship mentioned in jest would be taking place very much inside Westham mansion. EMMA ESCAPED into the hallway to give herself a short respite from Mrs. Norbert?s chewing, on the pretext of dashing upstairs for a shawl to ward off the chill, and an unwillingness to ring and bother Claramae, who was doubtless reluctant to brave the hallways at night for fear that Riley would try to steal yet another kiss. Somehow, Emma was not quite sure precisely how it had transpired, Claramae had decided that Emma should be her confidante, and now bent her ear almost daily with stories about the wily Riley and his penchant for hiding himself around corners, in order to pounce on the maid, ?all six arms and ten hands of him, miss, I swear it.? Not that Riley would ever be the man of Emma?s maidenly dreams?but there were times she rather envied the housemaid, who at least knew what a man?s kiss felt like. It had to be better than her mama had described it, and could not possibly be as wonderful as her grandmother claimed. Emma had taken only a few steps when she heard footsteps behind her, and turned to see Thornley approaching, looking over his shoulder as if someone might be following him, then staring at the closed doors to the drawing room as if he might be contemplating finding boards and a hammer, so that he could nail those doors shut. As a matter of fact, unknown to Emma, that was fairly close to what Thornley was thinking. Mostly, he had opted not to climb directly to the marquis?s chamber via the servant stairs in order to check on his tenants, hoping they?d stay planted where he?d put them until he could figure out precisely where to stuff them next. Emma smiled as she noticed the silver tray he carried, piled high with meat and cheese and fruit and a small, sliced loaf. ?Oh, how lovely, Thornley,? she said as he all but bumped into her. ?For the gentlemen, I presume, as ladies are not supposed to care for such heavy food. Still, if you don?t mind?? She reached out and snatched a shiny green apple from the arrangement. Thornley smiled the sickly smile of the almost caught, but still with some life in him yet, if he could only muster a sufficient lie, and said, ?You?re very welcome, Miss Clifford. I was?I was just taking this upstairs, for Mr. Clifford. His stomach, he tells me, is at last sufficiently calm for thoughts of filling it. If you?ll excuse me??? Emma stepped aside, only after snatching a rich, purple plum from the plate, as well as the bottle of wine. ?I don?t believe Mr. Clifford needs this, Thornley.? ?No? Um, yes, Miss Clifford. You?re correct, of course. What could I have been thinking? Lemonade, perhaps? I?ll have Claramae fetch some at once.? ?Oh, no, don?t bother her, Thornley.? She set the bottle on a nearby table, then put the fruit back on the plate and took the tray from the butler?s nerveless fingers. ?There you go. You fetch the lemonade, all right, and I?ll take this tray up to Mr. Clifford. I wish to have a word or two with him in any case, especially now, while he?s still suffering the pains of his foolishness.? ?I?but?I wouldn?t want you to?that is?? Emma tipped her head to one side and blinked up at him through her long, dark lashes. ?Yes, Thornley?? The man smiled again, an even more sickly thing than his first effort, then gave up, thanked Emma, picked up the bottle he?d uncorked in the pantry and trudged back down the hallway. He was drinking from it, deeply, by the time he reached the servant stairs. MORGAN EYED the large tester bed longingly. But he was still more hungry than he was tired, so he contented himself with watching Riley build up the fire in the grate as he propped himself against the side of a wingback chair and sipped from the wineglass the footman had produced along with two bottles of his lordship?s finest wine. It was good, being in the mansion again. It was even better that he?d dismissed Wycliff for the evening and could look forward to being blessedly alone. ?And there you go, m?lord,? Riley said as he stood up, wiping one hand against the other. ?Surely that should keep you warm and toasty all the night long.? Then he held out one rather grubby hand, palm up. Morgan?s left eyebrow climbed his forehead as he looked at the outstretched hand. ?Yes?? he asked, transferring his cool stare to the footman?s face. ?I?m afraid I don?t read palms, Riley. But if you were to go to Bartholomew Fair, I?m convinced you?ll find any number of gypsies ready and willing to tell you that you?ll be rich as Croesus, any day now. What I can tell you, my good man, is that I will not be the one who bestows such wealth upon you.? Riley snatched back his hand, putting both arms behind his back. ?I?m that sorry, m?lord. It?s only being that, that is, it just sort of?happened.? ?Yes, I?m sure. Just as I?m convinced it won?t?just sort of happen again. Not to me, and most certainly not to any of my guests when they call here. If your service is exemplary, and the guest so chooses, he or she may decide to reward you, but that will be their decision, not yours. You may go now.? Riley bowed and scraped and backed his way toward the door to the marquis?s dressing room, which had no other exit. It did have Wycliff, who was busily unpacking his lordship?s things, but even Morgan couldn?t wish Wycliff on Riley at the moment. ?That way, Riley,? Morgan corrected him, pointing toward the door to the hallway. ?Yes, m?lord, of course, m?lord. Sleep well, m?lord, and, well, um, welcome to London?? ?Thank you,? Morgan said, watching the footman fumble with the latch, and finally throw open the door?only to just as quickly slam it shut once more. ?Forgot something, have you?? Morgan asked, intrigued both by Riley?s action and the fact that the footman?s ruddy Irish complexion had done a remarkably swift shift to a rather sickly white. ?No, m?lord,? Riley said, opening the door once more, but a crack, and peeking out into the hallway. ?It?s only your food coming, m?lord. I?ll?I?ll just go fetch it.? ?No, have Thornley come in, if you please. I want to apologize again for descending on him without notice.? Riley shot him a look that had Morgan shaking his head. Were those tears in the boy?s eyes? ?Oh, never mind,? he said, putting down his wineglass and heading for the door. ?I hadn?t thought Thornley could inspire such fear in his staff. I?ll do it myself.? As Riley looked on, his eyes so rounded they appeared capable of popping straight out of his head, Morgan threw open the door?to be presented with an empty hallway. He stepped out and looked to his left, to his right, and saw a door closing at the very end of the hallway. ?My old rooms?? he asked himself, confused. ?Has Thornley gotten past it at last? I haven?t resided there since I was a child, too small for that large bed in here.? He called Riley into the hallway. ?Do you know why he?s gone in there?? ?No, m?lord,? Riley said, looking down at his toes where, the blessed saints be praised, inspiration appeared to be spending the evening. He?d wondered where it had been. He looked up again, grinning, and said, ?Sometimes Mr. Thornley likes to take his ease in that bedchamber, m?lord, seein? as how there ain?t nobody else to sleep there. It?s?it?s his back, m?lord. It sometimes pains him terrible, and he says the bedding in there is better than a mustard plaster.? ?So he?s gone to bed? Is that what you?re saying?? ?Oh, no, m?lord, I?d not be saying that,? Riley said, getting caught up in his lie. ?It?s gathering up his belongings he?s doing, sure as check, ashamed as he?d be for you to know what he?s been about. Sleepin? in the master?s bed? Tch, tch.? Morgan considered this. ?But?why would I have reason to go into those rooms?? Riley rolled his eyes. ?You know Mr. Thornley, m?lord. A real stickler he is, for what?s proper.? ?Proper, Riley, is that I get something to eat before my ribs start shaking hands with my backbone. Now, go get that tray.? ?Yes, m?lord. I?ll just be doing that, right now. You go sit yourself down, m?lord, rest your weary bones, and it?s right back I?ll be,? Riley said. He watched until Morgan closed the door behind him, then headed, lickety-split, for the servant stairs, where he met Thornley, who was ascending the stairs with a duplicate to the tray now residing in Cliff Clifford?s bedchamber. Crisis averted. Postponed. But not resolved. ?WE COULD TELL THEM there is a problem with the drains, and they?d die if they remained here,? Thornley said as his small staff sat behind the closed and locked door of his private quarters, out of earshot from the Westham servants who had arrived with the marquis. It had been a long and sleepless night. A worried one, too. ?Can we do that? I don?t want to do that. Makes me look a poor housekeeper,? Mrs. Timon said, worrying at a thumbnail with her teeth. A splendid cook, Hazel Timon was tall, reed thin, and with a spotty complexion that would make it easy to believe she herself subsisted on stale bread and ditch water?and nail clippings. ?Mrs. Timon, you?re biting again,? Thornley said, pointing a finger at her nasty habit. ?And she?s snuffling again,? Mrs. Timon shot back, folding her hands in her lap as she glared at Claramae, who had been intermittently crying into her apron the whole of the night long. Riley leaned over to put a comforting arm around the young maid, allowing his hand to drift just a bit too low over her shoulder, which earned him a sharp slap from the girl just as his fingertips were beginning to find the foray interesting. ?No, no, no, we can?t have this,? Thornley said, clapping his hands to bring everyone back to attention. ?Quarreling amongst ourselves aids nothing. Think, people. What else can we do?? ?I?d make up some breakfast,? Mrs. Timon offered, ?excepting for that Gassie fella took over my kitchens.? ?Gas-ton, Mrs. Timon,? Thornley said absently, staring at the list he?d made during the darkest and least imaginative portions of the night. The plague. Discarded as too deadly. And where was one to find a plague cart when one needed one? Worse, who would volunteer to play corpse? Measles? Too spotty by half and, besides, Thornley?s memory had told him that his lordship had contracted the measles as a child, so covering Claramae in red spots wouldn?t have the man haring back to Westham. A fire in the kitchens? Mrs. Timon would have his liver and lights, and if it got out of hand, half of London could go up in flames. Their situation was desperate, but not dire enough to risk another Great Fire. What was left? Thornley?s mind kept coming to the same conclusion. ?We?we could tell ?em the truth, give ?em their money back, and ask ?em very kindly to take themselves off,? Claramae offered weakly, then blew her nose in her apron. Just what Thornley had been thinking, which was a worriment, if the simple-headed Claramae thought it a good idea. An expensive silence settled over the room. Mrs. Timon thought about the locked box in the bottom of her closet. She was a year short of having enough to lease a small cottage by the sea, complete with hiring a local girl as servant of all work, and never cooking another thing for another person. She?d eat twigs before she?d stand over another stove in August. Riley wondered where and how he?d come up with his share, as he hadn?t saved so much as a bent penny, preferring to wager everything each year on such hopefully money-tripling pursuits as bearbaiting, cockfights, and the occasional dice game in his favorite pub. Claramae, author of the idea, sat quietly and didn?t think at all, which was all right, because she really wasn?t very good at it anyway. Which left Thornley. ?I suppose we could. We were overly ambitious in the first place, I realize now. And, as it?s nearly gone seven, and we have had no other idea, I suppose we?ll have to resort to the truth. Come along,? he said, getting to his feet. ?The Clifford ladies and the rest will be rising shortly, as is their custom. We must speak to them before they ring for their morning chocolate and alert the other servants to their presence. We?ll also begin with them simply because there are more of them.? ?Yes, but the money??? Mrs. Timon asked, shuffling her carpet-slippered feet as she followed Thornley. ?As this entire idea was mine, I will be responsible for all remunerations, Mrs. Timon,? Thornley said gamely. ?Yes, but who will pay them?? Riley asked worriedly, trailing along behind, dragging Claramae with him. EMMA HEARD THE KNOCKING on her bedchamber door, but chose to ignore it. She didn?t want her morning chocolate. She didn?t want morning, as she?d not slept well, a nagging feeling that something might be wrong in the mansion keeping her awake, alert for any sound. The sound now, however?whispers mixed with whimpering?could not be ignored, so she kicked back the covers and padded to the door of the bedchamber and put her ear to the door. ?Claramae, I said knock and enter. As a man, obviously I can?t go in there, not with Miss Clifford possibly still not dressed for the day.? ?But I don?t?I don?t want to.? ?Stand back, the lot of you. I?ll do it.? ?Riley, stifle yourself.? ?Oh, for goodness? sakes, I?ll do it.? Emma jumped back as the latch depressed, and barely missed having the tip of her nose nipped off as the door swung inward and Mrs. Timon stepped inside?followed by a widely grinning Riley, who took no more than two swaggering, arms-waving steps before a long, black-clad arm appeared, grabbed the footman by the collar of his livery and yanked him back out again. ?Miss Clifford?? ?Yes?? Emma said, stepping out from behind the door. ?Is something wrong, Mrs. Timon?? ?Well, miss, you could maybe say that, miss?can I fetch your dressing gown?? Emma frowned at the woman, then retreated to the chair beside her bed, snatched up her dressing gown and slipped into it. ?Better, Mrs. Timon?? she asked, tying the sash tightly around her waist. ?Yes, miss, thank you, miss,? Mrs. Timon said. ?Your slippers?? What on earth? Emma located her slippers and put them on. ?Thank you, miss. That should do it,? the cook cum housekeeper cum obscure visitor said, then opened the door once more. In trooped Riley, still grinning (but no longer swaggering), followed by Thornley, who had his chin lifted so high his only view of the bedchamber could have been the painted ceiling, and Claramae, whose chin could not be lower as she, in turn, inspected the floor. Emma sat down on the pink-and-white-striped slipper chair, tossed the long, fat single braid over her shoulder and folded her hands in her lap. She?d been right. Something was wrong. Her mother had tackled Thornley in the hallways and made a complete cake of herself. Her grandmother had been caught out snooping in Sir Edgar?s drawers. Cliff had?well, Cliff could be guilty of most anything. Miss Emma Clifford did not upset easily. With her family, a person who upset easily would be in her grave, white of hair, wrinkled of skin, and dead of old age at two and twenty, if she did not learn to control her feelings. Her temper, however, was another thing, and although kept in check for the most part, when unleashed, as her mother would gladly tell anyone, it could be A Terrible Thing. Indeed, Emma was already working up a good scold for whoever had caused what she was sure to be the next very uncomfortable minutes. The servants, however, having only witnessed the sweeter side of Miss Emma?s nature in the week the Cliffords had been in residence, had no inkling that she would be anything but helpful in solving their dilemma. Understanding, even. The three servants looked to Thornley, so Emma did, too. ?Is there something I should know?? she asked. ON THE FLOOR BELOW, Morgan turned over in his bed, half-awake after hearing what he thought was a rather loud, angry female voice in his dreams, and went back to sleep. Moments later, he pulled a pillow over his head and made a mental note to instruct Thornley to keep all servants gagged until at least eleven o?clock of a morning. Moments after that, his own heavy breathing was the only sound in the bedchamber?and he didn?t hear that at all. RILEY, HIS EARS STILL stinging from Miss Clifford?s talking-through-her-clenched-teeth orders, knocked on Sir Edgar?s door. He waited until he heard the key turn in the lock and then stepped inside?to be met by a man already dressed for the day, although his shirt cuffs had been turned back clear to the elbow. Sir Edgar had already retreated across the room, to stand with his back against the door to his small dressing room. Riley thought the man looked rather odd. Like he?d been caught out at something. ?What do you want?? Sir Edgar asked, his hands covered by a towel. ?Smells funny in here, don?t you know,? Riley said, sniffing the air. ?Smells like?like paint?? ?You?ll smell out of the other end of your nose if you don?t tell me why you?ve barged in here, my good man,? Sir Edgar said, still carefully keeping his hands covered. ?Um?yes, Sir Edgar, your pardon, sir. It?s?it?s Miss Clifford, sir. She requests your presence downstairs, in the drawing room, in?well, now, sir.? Sir Edgar peeked under the towel to look at his fingers. He had at least ten minutes of scrubbing with strong soap in front of him. ?She does, does she?? ?Yes, sir. Powerful clear she was on that, sir. Now, sir.? ?Yes, I heard that part. Do you know why she wants to see me, boy?? Riley shook his head furiously. ?No, sir. It?s not me knowing anything. Couldn?t say that I do. I never know anything, you could ask anybody. But she wants everybody.? ?Everybody, you say,? Sir Edgar repeated, turning to the washstand and, with his back obscuring what he was about, reaching for the large bar of lye soap, first putting down the key he?d hidden in his hand. ?Very well. Please deliver my compliments to Miss Clifford and tell her that I shall join everyone directly.? ??? ???????? ?????. ??? ?????? ?? ?????. ????? ?? ??? ????, ??? ??? ????? ??? (https://www.litres.ru/keysi-maykls/the-butler-did-it/?lfrom=688855901) ? ???. ????? ???? ??? ??? ????? ??? Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, ? ??? ????? ????, ? ????? ?????, ? ??? ?? ?? ????, ??? 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