Full-Time Father

Full-Time Father Susan Mallery He had a secret daughter? One moment, computer consultant Parker Hamilton was quietly programming in his house along the rugged Pacific coast. And the next, his life was thrown into a tailspin. He discovered he was a father. What would he do? What would he say to his daughter? Did she know the truth–that he hadn't known about her? And why was her beautiful aunt, Erin Ridgeway, suddenly giving him the chance to be a full-time father?Despite everything, Erin promised herself she'd give Parker a chance to know his daughter. But what could a lonely millionaire know about raising a little girl? Well, Erin was going to have to find out…for the sake of Christie, who so desperately wanted a family…. Praise for SUSAN MALLERY “Susan Mallery is warmth and wit personified. Always a fabulous read.” —New York Times bestselling author Christina Dodd “Ms. Mallery’s unique writing style shines via vivid characters, layered disharmony and plenty of spice.” —Romantic Times BOOKclub “A gifted storyteller, Ms. Mallery fills the pages with multi-faceted characters, solid plotting and passion that is both tender and sizzling.” —Romantic Times BOOKclub “If you haven’t read Susan Mallery, you must!” —New York Times bestselling author Suzanne Forster SUSAN MALLERY is a USA TODAY bestselling author of over eighty books and has been a recipient of countless awards, including the National Reader’s Choice Award. Her combination of humor, emotion and downright sexiness has made her a reader favorite. She makes her home in Southern California with her husband, her very dignified cat and her not-so-dignified dog. Visit her Web site at www.SusanMallery.com. Full-Time Father Susan Mallery www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk) To my readers— with heartfelt thanks for the support and encouragement. You are the best part of writing. Contents Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Epilogue Chapter One “There’s a woman here to see you,” Kiki said, sticking her head into her boss’s office. Parker Hamilton wasn’t really working, but he didn’t raise his gaze from the computer screen. The program wasn’t coming together. He couldn’t concentrate. Everyone had been telling him to slow down or he would burn out. He shifted in his chair and wondered if he could feel the heat of that even now. He would hate like hell if everyone had been right. “I’m not interested, Kiki,” he said, still not looking at her. “Tell your friend she’s wasting her time.” He didn’t hear his housekeeper move into the room, but he felt her presence. Sure enough his screen soon filled with her reflection. She was standing behind him, with her hands on her hips. The image wasn’t clear enough to see her face, but he knew her expression would be impatient. She’d been impatient with him a lot lately. “You’ve got to stop staring at that little screen,” she said. “You’re going to go blind. Or worse. Your eyes will change shape until they’re square, like your monitor.” He punched in the Save command, then spun in his chair until he was facing her. His housekeeper was probably in her early fifties, although she was very coy about her age. As usual, she was dressed in a jogging suit. She must own dozens. Parker had seen a rainbow of colors, all with matching athletic shoes. Today she was dressed in fuchsia. He didn’t know they made shoes in that color. “How is having my eyes change shape worse than going blind?” he asked. Kiki had the most interesting, if illogical, mind. “Don’t try to change the subject. You have a visitor.” “You’re the one who brought up my eyes,” he reminded her. He flashed Kiki a smile. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do. I know you worry about me. But—” He glanced out the window, not really seeing the view of the Pacific Ocean, but instead looking in the black ugliness of the past. “I’m not interested.” Kiki shook her head. Her short blond hair fluttered over her forehead before settling back in place. “You think I don’t know that? In the last couple of years I’ve paraded every single woman between twenty and thirty-five through here. Believe me, Parker, I’ve given up on you. This isn’t one of my friends. I think—” She paused thoughtfully, something she almost never did. “I think you’ll want to talk to her.” With that Kiki left. Parker rose from his chair and started after her. Irritation battled with curiosity. His housekeeper could easily deal with anyone trying to sell something. If it wasn’t one of her friends, then who? He came down the stairs and across the large foyer. The house was large, too large, but he didn’t plan on moving. He’d made peace with his surroundings if not with himself. The front door was open. A woman stood on the porch. She had her back to him as she stared at the wide lawn and the flowers edging the driveway. The back of the house butted up to the edge of the cliffs. Beyond the terrace there was only the drop to the ocean. All the yard was in the front. He had a brief impression of shoulder-length dark hair, touched with a hint of red. A loose-fitting cream sweater fell to slender hips. Jeans covered her long legs. His gaze dropped lower, and he smiled slightly. Her athletic shoes were white. Apparently she didn’t share his housekeeper’s compulsion to have everything match. “May I help you?” he asked. She turned toward him. Recognition slammed into his gut. Her eyes were hazel and tilted up at the corner. Her generous mouth was straight, but he knew what it would look like smiling. He knew about the dimple in her right cheek and how her laughter sounded. Five years ago, hers had been the only laughter in this empty house. Regret followed recognition. Regret for how he’d treated her and regret for how easy it had been to let her go. He’d been the worst kind of bastard. Not only had he broken her heart, but he’d used her to forget. She stared up at him, her hazel eyes searching his as if he were a stranger. Five years was a long time—they were strangers. They’d always been strangers. He took in her clothing a second time. She was dressed more conservatively than he remembered. He raised his gaze to her face. There was something different in her expression. A wariness. He grimaced. Why wouldn’t she be wary of him? “Hello, Stacey,” he said quietly. She looked startled, then shook her head. “Mr. Hamilton, I’m not Stacey Ridgeway. I’m her twin sister, Erin.” She held out her hand to him. He took it without thinking. Her skin was smooth and cool. Instead of releasing her fingers, he held on, as if to keep her from bolting. Not Stacey? Was that possible? “You look just like her.” “We were identical twins.” She glanced at the hand he was still holding. “Mr. Hamilton, we need to talk. May I come in?” “Of course.” He let go of her, then moved back, pushing the door open wider. She stepped inside and gave him a quick smile that didn’t reach her eyes. Her eyes. He stared at her. They were different. He hadn’t been imagining it. Twins. Had Stacey told him she was a twin? She might have. She’d talked a lot, but he’d never listened. The sound of her words had blocked out the pain and that had been enough. It hadn’t mattered what she’d been saying. “This way,” he said, motioning to a set of open French doors on the far side of the living room. It was late June and the afternoon sun would be warm on the terrace. Fog rolled in that morning, but had long since burned away. They crossed the hardwood floors, their athletic shoes barely squeaking on the polished wood. He tried to think of something to say. He hadn’t seen Stacy in five years. Had he given her a single thought after she’d left? On the terrace he held out a chair for Erin and tried to remember that time. It was a blur. He knew he’d felt guilty about what had happened and what he’d said. He also admitted he’d felt relieved when she had left. He’d never thought to go after her, or check on her. Is that what her sister wanted? A piece of his hide for not giving a damn? Five years was a long time to carry a grudge. Erin sat at the small table and folded her hands in her lap. He took the seat across from her and continued to study her face, trying to see the differences. It was a pointless exercise. He didn’t remember enough about Stacey. “You’re probably wondering why I’m here,” she said. He listened to the sound of her words, trying to figure out if their voices were the same. He thought they might be. “I wasn’t expecting you,” he admitted. “It’s been several years since I’ve seen Stacey.” “Five,” she said, confirming his assumption. She bit her lower lip, then drew in a quick breath. Gathering courage, he thought. But for what? “Mr. Hamilton—” “Parker, please.” She nodded. “Parker, I don’t know how much you remember about my sister.” “She interned with me for a summer.” At least most of a summer. Until circumstances—no, he was determined to be honest with himself if no one else—until he had driven her away. He didn’t regret her leaving, but he was sorry for how he made her go. “We—” He fumbled for words. Got involved? He hadn’t been, although he had a bad feeling Stacey had believed herself to be in love with him. “There were some misunderstandings,” he said at last. “I take full responsibility.” Her gaze met his. “I see,” she said. Those two words carried a powerful message. He could tell by the look on her face that Erin Ridgeway knew the details of that summer. She knew what he’d done to her sister. He resisted the urge to spring to his feet and pace the terrace. Okay, he’d been a bastard, but he hadn’t done anything Stacey hadn’t wanted. God knows she’d been throwing herself at him for weeks before he’d finally given in. She’d been over twenty-one. An adult. Sell it somewhere else, Hamilton, a voice in his head muttered. She had been twenty-two and nowhere near grown up enough to handle you. He swore silently at himself and at the voice for speaking the truth. Before he could think of something to say, Kiki swept onto the terrace. She walked over and set an old polished silver tray on the center of the table. There were two mugs, a coffee carafe, sugar, cream and a plate of brownies she’d made that morning. “The coffee’s fresh,” Kiki said. “I ground the beans myself.” Erin glanced up and gave her a polite smile. “Thank you very much.” Kiki nodded. “No trouble. Mr. Hamilton rarely has visitors. I enjoy having people in the house.” His housekeeper looked at her and shook her head. “You sure look exactly like your sister.” She poured coffee and set a mug in front of each of them. “She was a lovely young woman. Very bright and funny. She brought a lot of life into this old house.” Erin’s eyes widened. She’d reached toward her cup, then paused, her hand frozen in midmotion. “Stacey lived here?” “All the interns did,” Kiki said. “There are plenty of bedrooms. Town is too far away for them.” She gave an exaggerated shrug. “Those college students always wanted to be working on the computer programs. Morning, noon and night. The world would have ended if they’d had to spend time actually driving back and forth. I would guess half of them never ever noticed the view from their bedrooms.” She motioned to the twinkling blue of the Pacific just beyond the terrace. “Mr. Hamilton never notices, either. All he does is work.” She gave him a look that told him she hadn’t forgiven him for being so tardy to dinner the previous night that he’d not only ruined her roast, but had also made her late for her date. “I made the brownies myself,” she said, pointing at the plate. “And not from a mix. Eat up.” She glanced at him and raised her eyebrows. “You, too, Mr. Hamilton.” With that she walked across the terrace to the far door and entered the small hallway that led to the kitchen. Parker picked up the plate and offered it to Erin. “Please try one. Kiki is an excellent cook and she gets very upset if she isn’t appreciated.” Erin took one of the brownies and set it on a napkin. But she didn’t taste the treat. Instead she stared at him. “I hadn’t realized my sister lived here.” Parker had to clear his throat before speaking. “Yes, well, there were about six students in the house at the time. She was very well chaperoned.” He snapped his mouth shut. Not well enough, he reminded himself, fighting an unfamiliar heated sensation. At first he couldn’t figure out what it was, then he realized he was embarrassed. “At the time, it worked out best for everyone. Kiki was right. The interns did work constantly. I never required all those hours, but they would get caught up in their projects. I don’t know if you’re familiar at all with computer programming, but it can get very intense.” She reached for the cream and poured a little in her coffee. She stirred the mixture slowly. “That’s what Stacey used to tell me.” He leaned back in his chair. “Did Stacey send you here, Ms. Ridgeway?” Her gaze met his. Her eyes widened and her mouth parted in shock. The color drained from her face. “You don’t know.” Her lips pulled into a straight line. “Of course you don’t. How could you?” Uneasiness settled over him. “Know what?” “My sister is dead. She died four years ago.” This time Parker gave in to the impulse and rose to his feet. He crossed the terrace to the waist-high stone wall that ran around the perimeter of the open area and stared out at the sea. Stacey Ridgeway was dead. He probed his emotions and encountered compassion for her family, regret—always regret—for what he’d done and remorse because he wouldn’t have the chance to explain or apologize. No sadness or longing. He’d barely known her. If her twin sister hadn’t come calling, he would never have thought of her again. “I’m sorry,” he said, turning toward Erin and leaning on the stone wall. “It must have been very difficult for you and your family.” Erin nodded. “It was hard on me. Stacey was the only close relative I had.” Wariness joined the other emotions. Wariness and a faint hint of cynicism. He was a wealthy man. He’d sold his software company a few years back for several million dollars. He continued to develop programs that earned him an embarrassingly high income. Erin Ridgeway wouldn’t be the first woman to come looking for a free ride. “While I appreciate the tragedy of the situation, I’m not sure what it has to do with me,” he said, wondering how much this was going to cost him. Even if the woman in front of him never got a dime, lawyer fees were expensive. Erin tried to take a sip of coffee, but her hands were shaking so badly, she could barely hold the mug. She set it down. “I know what you’re thinking,” she said, not meeting his gaze. Somehow, he doubted that. “It’s been so long,” she continued. “Why am I here now? The truth is, I didn’t know who you were until a few weeks ago. Stacey never told me your name. Before she died she said it was her fault and it wasn’t fair to bother you with the responsibility. I didn’t agree with her. But until I knew your name, I had no choice but to stay silent.” She looked at him then, her hazel eyes dark with pain. “I was angry,” she told him. “At the mysterious man who’d ruined her life. At her for dying. At Christie for messing up my plans.” “Who’s Christie?” he asked, not sure he understood what Erin was talking about or whether he believed her display of emotions. Were they genuine or was she a good actress? She reached down and collected her small purse. After opening it, she pulled out a photograph. “My sister never told me anything, Mr. Hamiliton. Nothing about you or what had happened here. We were attending different colleges. I saw her for a few days that last summer when she came home from her internship here, but that was all. We didn’t spend Christmas break together. I realized later that she was avoiding me. She didn’t want me to know. I didn’t have a clue until the hospital called to say there were complications.” His stomach clenched tight like a fist. Parker stared at her. Foreboding surrounded him and chilled the air. “What complications?” Erin stood up and started toward him. When she was less than two feet away, she handed him the small picture. He took it without looking at it. He wanted to watch her face as she told him her story. “What complications?” he repeated. “My sister died of complications in childbirth. She was pregnant when she left here. The baby…Christie…is your daughter.” A daughter? A child? His child? Parker stared at her, hearing the words, absorbing their meaning, but not sure if they had any connection to him. A child. He had a child? His gaze never left hers. Hazel eyes widened slightly. He watched the emotions race across her face. Confusion, compassion, fear. Why was she afraid? He wondered what she was seeing on his face. Most likely shock. That’s what he felt. Stunned shock, as if he’d plunged into an icy river and couldn’t catch his breath. He struggled to remember that night with Stacey. Everything was a blur. Shame and guilt colored all the memories that hadn’t been erased by alcohol. He recalled enough to know they’d had sex. He’d taken her again and again, hoping the act would blot out the past, but it hadn’t. Instead he’d remembered everything and in doing so, he’d forgotten Stacey. He hadn’t used protection because she’d said she was on the pill. Had she been lying? If so the child could be his. Or Erin Ridgeway, if that was even her real name, could be trying an age-old scam to make a few dollars for herself. “How do I know she’s mine?” he asked. He expected her to get defensive and start talking about blood types and DNA as proof. Instead she motioned to the photo he was still holding. “Just look at her. I always knew she didn’t look like Stacey or me. Now I see she gets her features from you. The eyes, the shape of the mouth, although I have to warn you, personality wise, she’s just as lively as my sister was.” Still he resisted looking down. Maybe because he didn’t want to know. Maybe because, in his gut, he already knew the truth. Erin Ridgeway didn’t know how to lie well enough to pull off something like this. Everything she said was true, including the fact that he had a daughter. He braced himself, tensing all his muscles before looking down. Even so, the picture caught him off guard. It was like taking a sucker punch to the belly. All his air rushed out and he fought against the need to double over. The photo showed a small girl laughing in a park somewhere. She wasn’t looking at the camera, instead the snapshot had caught her in a moment of childish joy. Her arms were in the air, one knee was raised as if she was skipping or jumping. Her hair, in pigtails, flew out behind her. Sunlight illuminated the area, making the trees glow as if lit from within. He cataloged all that information quickly, almost unconsciously, then he turned his attention to the child’s face. Her eyes crinkled with amusement, but he could still see the shape. Her mouth was open wide with laughter, but he knew what she would look like if she smiled. There was something familiar about the way she held her head. He recognized her. “How old is she?” he asked, his voice hoarse. “She turned four in early May.” Erin stared at him. “Are you all right?” He shook his head. “Not really.” He continued to stare at the picture, memorizing it. “I guess this is sort of a shock.” He glanced at her and forced himself to give her a smile. “That’s an understatement.” He returned his attention to the photo. “I never knew about her.” He’d never sensed her presence in the world. That didn’t seem possible. His child had existed for over four years, and he hadn’t had a clue. “I’m sorry,” Erin said. “I would have come sooner, but as I already told you, Stacey never told me who you were. When she passed away, I asked a friend to pack up her room at home. All these years I never thought to check her personal papers.” She shook her head. “I should have. I only found out about you recently because I was packing up to move and I finally went through her things. I found her diary and in it she mentioned your name.” He wondered what else she’d mentioned, then figured it wasn’t important. The past was over. All that mattered was the child. “Where is Christie now?” he asked. Christie. The name was unfamiliar on his tongue, but he liked it. Had Stacey had the chance to name her daughter before she died or had Erin chosen the name. “At our motel. We’re staying in town.” He frowned. “You left her alone?” “No.” Erin smiled. “I drove up with a friend. Joyce is watching her.” He supposed she’d come for money. Child support. A college fund. He opened his mouth to say all that would be arranged. He wouldn’t ignore his responsibilities. Instead he blurted out, “I want to meet her.” Erin’s hazel eyes darkened with pleasure. The dimple in her cheek deepened. “I’m glad,” she said. “I didn’t tell her why we were up here. I wasn’t sure what you would say or if you would even believe me.” “This kind of proof is difficult to ignore.” He shook the picture. “But I wasn’t sure she looked like you. She could have taken after another relative.” “But she didn’t.” He studied the photograph again, marveling that she really existed. “When can I see her?” Erin pushed up the sleeve of her cream sweater and glanced at her watch. “It’s nearly eleven now. What if I bring her back at two o’clock?” Three hours. It felt like a lifetime. “Sure.” “Great.” Erin started for the small table. She collected her purse, then nodded at the picture. “Would you like to keep that?” His hold on the photo tightened. “Yes. Thank you.” He followed her to the front door. “Do you know how to get to town?” “I have the map I used to find my way here. I’ll be fine.” She glanced up at him. The top of her head was an inch or so shy of his chin. “I’m glad you want to meet her, Parker. She’s a wonderful little girl. Very outgoing, friendly, she’s almost never shy. Do you want me to explain things to her before we get here?” Things? “You mean tell her that I’m her father?” “I—” She cleared her throat. “She’s always wanted one, a daddy, as she says. I thought it might be easier to try to answer her questions before she met you, but if you would prefer to do it yourself—” “No,” he said quickly. “Go ahead and tell her what you think is best.” “I’ll make sure she realizes you didn’t know about her until today.” Now it was his turn to hesitate. “Thank you,” he said. “You’re being very understanding about this. I’m still a little stunned.” “Why wouldn’t you be? A perfect stranger waltzes into your home and tells you that you have a child you never knew existed. I appreciate how well you’re handling the situation.” They stared at each other. Parker knew she was wrong about one thing. She wasn’t a perfect stranger. He knew very little about her personality, but he was familiar with her looks. It was almost eerie, staring at Stacey’s face but knowing Stacey was gone. He didn’t remember her well enough to be able to pick out the subtle differences in their features, assuming there were any. Erin’s hair was shorter, barely brushing her shoulders. Stacey’s had fallen nearly to her waist. A tactile memory flashed through his mind. The feel of silky hair being crushed between his eager fingers. He pushed it away, along with the guilt. He studied her small nose and wide mouth. The latter curled up into a smile and the dimple formed on her right cheek. “We’ll see you at two,” she said. “I look forward to it.” He watched her walk to her car. It was a white four-door sedan, probably five years old. Sensible rather than flashy. As soon as she started the engine and drove away, he realized how many questions had gone unasked and unanswered. Was Erin married? He tried to remember if she’d worn a wedding ring. Had she officially adopted Christie after Stacey’s death? What was she going to tell the little girl about him? A faint noise caught his attention. He closed the door and turned around. Kiki was standing in the middle of the foyer. Her blue eyes danced with excitement. “So, what did she want?” Kiki asked, trying to act as if she didn’t already know. “Don’t pretend you weren’t listening.” Kiki wrinkled her nose as she battled her desire to protect her dignity by refusing to acknowledge her habit of eavesdropping and her need to share what she’d heard. She clapped her hands together, then rushed toward him. Before he could step back, she’d grasped his upper arms and squeezed tight. “This is almost as much fun as having a grandchild of my own living here. This old house needs some life and laughter, and you need something to distract you from those silly old computers.” “Wait a minute.” He raised his hands as if to ward off her words. “No one said anything about moving in. I’m going to meet Christie—” “Christie. Is that her name? I couldn’t hear everything you two were saying.” “Next time we’ll talk louder,” he said dryly. Kiki ignored him. She released his arms, patted his face, then spun away and began making plans. “I’ll make some fresh cookies,” she said, and held out her left index finger. “Then lemonade.” The second finger went out. “Maybe ice cream. Hmm, I wonder if there’s time. Maybe if I start now, it will be finished by the time they come back. What time was that?” “Two.” She paced in front of him, a fuchsia-colored dynamo. “All those sweets might make her sick. Maybe some finger sandwiches.” She glanced up and grinned. The wrinkles around her eyes deepened. Kiki smiled a lot. “I’ll think of something,” she said. “Trust me.” With that, she hurried toward the kitchen. Parker watched her go. He glanced down at the picture in his hand. He was going to meet his daughter…the child he never knew he’d had. Stacey hadn’t told anyone he was the father. He couldn’t blame her, not after the way he’d treated her. No doubt she’d assumed he wouldn’t care. Parker tucked the photo into his shirt pocket, then started for his office. The faint banging of pots and pans drifted through the house. Kiki would be so busy with her preparations, she would probably forget his lunch. He stepped into his custom-designed workroom. He had three hours until Erin and Christie would arrive. He could work on the program that was giving him so much trouble. Instead he crossed to the wide windows and stared out at the ocean. He had the sensation of free-falling off a cliff. In a matter of moments, his whole life had changed. For the first time in years, something stirred inside him. Interest, and maybe a little anticipation. He touched his shirt pocket and felt the flat paper of the photo. He had a child and she was coming to meet him. Chapter Two “Is he really my daddy?” Christie asked from the passenger seat. “Yes, honey.” Christie took a deep breath and let it out all at once, curling up her lower lip so the air rushed up her face and lifted her bangs. She giggled as the delicate hairs danced before settling back on her forehead. “But he didn’t know he was my daddy before you told him today.” “Yes.” “Why?” “Because Stacey didn’t tell him about you.” “And you didn’t know about him?” “Right.” “Couldn’t he see me when I was in her tummy?” “Stacey left his house before you were big enough to see.” “How did I get in her tummy?” Erin gripped the steering wheel tightly and resisted the urge to groan. As if there wasn’t enough going on, now Christie wanted to talk about where babies came from. “Oh, look, you can see the ocean,” she said enthusiastically, trying to distract Christie. It worked. The four-year-old peered over the dashboard and grinned. “It’s blue and goes forever. Does the ocean end?” “The water doesn’t stop in one place and start in another, but it gets a new name.” Christie glanced up at her and wrinkled her nose. “The water has a name?” “Uh-huh. It’s the Pacific Ocean.” Christie mulled that over for a minute. Erin gave her a quick look. Her daughter had been asking questions from the moment she learned how to string words together. Her adventurous spirit was pure Stacey. Erin liked to think that Christie had gotten her quick intelligence from their side of the family as well, but after researching Parker Hamilton, she had to admit he probably had something to do with that. He’d also given his daughter several of her physical characteristics, including the shape of her mouth and her smile. But her dimples were a Ridgeway legacy. Erin thought she and Christie moved the same way, and her daughter had the same habit of tilting her head to one side. Of course those traits could have been learned, not inherited. The road narrowed and Erin concentrated on her driving. Parker Hamilton lived several miles outside of town. The turnoff for the private road was sudden and not well marked. From there she had a two-mile drive to the house itself. She wouldn’t want to try to find it in the dark, or during a storm. At first she’d wondered why anyone would live in such isolation, but after seeing the house, she knew why. Hawkin’s Point was the most beautiful place she’d ever seen. The old-fashioned three-story home rose out of the grass, trees and bright flowers as if it were a magical castle. Peaked roofs topped wide windows and long balconies. The wooden structure blended with the environment, yet had enough fantasy in its design that her first thought had been she could blink and it would be gone. Stacey had mentioned falling in love with the house in her diary and Erin understood completely. Hawkin’s Point was the kind of place the sisters had dreamed of when they’d been young and were shuffled back and forth between relatives. “Does my daddy have other little girls?” Christie asked. The question startled Erin. “I don’t know. I didn’t ask.” She thought for a moment. She didn’t remember seeing any toys around. She knew he wasn’t married. As soon as she’d found his name in Stacey’s diary, she’d started investigating Parker Hamilton. He’d been a big shot in the computer world and the magazine article index in the library had given her a place to begin. She’d read about the start-up of his company while he was still in college. She knew about his rise to the top of his field, that he’d sold his company for a huge but undisclosed sum and that he continued to work on software. The personal information had been scant, but she’d picked up the essentials. He was a widower and, as of the last article written about three months before, he’d never remarried. But no one had said anything about children. Up ahead was the turnoff. Erin put on her signal and slowed the car. There wasn’t much traffic up here. When she’d checked to make sure the way was clear, she turned onto the private road and started down the long paved driveway. The car windows were already rolled down. She inhaled deeply and caught the scent of salt air. “Can you smell the ocean?” she asked. Christie took a breath, then giggled. “What does it smell like?” “Salt, sunshine.” “You can’t smell sunshine.” “Sure you can.” Christie looked skeptical. “It’s nice here,” she said. “At home it’s so hot.” “You’re right. It’s probably going to be over a hundred back there.” “Two hundred!” Christie said and bounced in her seat. She quieted quickly and smoothed the seat belt over her chest. “My daddy lives far from me.” “Yes, he does.” Erin wondered if Christie was going to ask how they were going to work that out, but then she figured that was a fairly complex thought for a four-year-old. Erin was twenty-seven and she didn’t know exactly how she was going to handle this difficult situation. She’d come up with a very logical plan, but life had taught her that the most logical solution wasn’t always the one chosen. They wound along the narrow paved road. Tall trees and lush bushes grew on either side. In another couple of minutes, they broke through and could see the house. “It’s big, Mommy,” Christie breathed, staring at the three-story mansion. “I know. And it’s very pretty. Can you see the sunlight on the windows? It makes them look like jewels.” “I like that.” Erin glanced at the wood-and-glass structure. Once again her breath caught as she experienced the peculiar sensation of arriving at the one place she’d been searching for all her life. No wonder Stacey had fallen in love with the house and the owner. Erin was far more sensible and even she felt drawn in. She parked in front of the house and turned off the engine. Christie clicked open her seat belt and bounced impatiently on the seat, but she didn’t open the door. She knew she wasn’t allowed outside until she was let out. Erin stepped onto the driveway and inhaled the scent of the ocean. It was stronger here and in the still afternoon, she could hear the crash of the waves. She, her friend Joyce, and Christie had taken the coast route up. The farther north they’d driven, the more the beaches had changed. In Southern California there were long stretches of sand, with the coast highway running alongside. In the north, sandy beaches gave way to rocky shores. Large boulders jutted out of the water, moss-covered sentinels warning off the unwelcome. High cliffs soared over the ocean. Fog was a frequent visitor, adding to the character and mood of the location, if not to the temperature. Erin walked around the car and let Christie out. Her daughter danced with excitement. “Does my daddy really live here? Does he have the whole house? Can I see every room?” Erin laughed. “Let’s take those one at a time. Yes, your daddy really lives here and he owns the whole house. It’s very beautiful. I’m sure if you ask, he’ll be happy to show you around.” Before she could continue, the front door opened and Parker Hamilton stepped out. Erin touched Christie’s shoulder, then glanced down and gave her a reassuring smile. “Is that him?” Christie asked softly. “Yes.” Christie looked at Parker again, then up at her mother. “He looks nice,” she said in a stage whisper. Erin gave her a little nudge. “Why don’t we go and say hello?” Christie took her mother’s hand and started across the driveway. Parker waited for them in the doorway. His gaze settled on the child. Erin wondered what he was thinking. She tried to imagine what she would be thinking at a time like this, but her brain wasn’t working, even though there was no reason for it not to. Parker might be fairly good-looking with dark hair and dark eyes, but he wasn’t stunningly handsome. She tried to figure out what it was about him that made her stomach twitch. He wore his hair short, barely brushing the collar of his white shirt. The top two buttons were undone and the sleeves had been rolled up to his elbows, but that wasn’t especially provocative. Well-worn jeans hugged narrow hips and lean thighs. His legs were long and his white athletic shoes had seen better days. Her research told her he was worth more money than most people could spend in a lifetime, but he looked like an ordinary guy. So why had her hand tingled when he’d taken it in his? Why had she found it tough to breathe or even think rationally? It must have been nerves. She wasn’t the romantic impulsive sister. That had always been Stacey. As they neared the house, Parker took a step toward them, then hesitated. He looked uncertain. Erin realized he didn’t know what to say to his daughter. A little over four years ago, she’d been just as terrified. Christie pursed her lips. “Are you really my daddy?” Parker nodded and squatted down so they were at eye level. “Yes, Christie. My name is Parker Hamilton.” “Shouldn’t I call you Daddy?” His dark gaze raised to hers, as if asking her opinion. Erin smiled. “It makes sense to me.” “Okay,” Parker said, his voice thick. Emotions chased across his face—confusion, terror, wonder. Erin knew just how he felt. At least when she’d found out about Christie, the girl had been an infant, not a fully formed person with independent ideas and opinions. “Didn’t you know about me, Daddy?” He shook his head. “Not until today.” Slowly he reached out his hand and touched her cheek. “Are you glad?” Christie asked, cutting to the heart of the matter as usual. “Oh, yes. I’m very glad.” “Good. Me, too.” She gave him her best smile, the one she used to get her way. Erin was immune, but it worked like magic on Parker. He knelt on the flagstone porch and opened his arms to gather the little girl close. She went willingly, flinging herself at him and holding on tight. Erin watched them cling to each other. She’d prepared herself for this moment, but even so she felt a twinge of sadness. Nothing was ever going to be the same again. She and Christie were no longer just two against the world. She studied them, the tall man and the little girl. Sunlight illuminated their heads. Parker’s hair was dark brown with no hint of any other colors. Christie’s was lighter and showed the reddish tint shared by Erin and Stacey. Parker’s large hands dwarfed the child. He could span her back from shoulders to hip. She’d insisted on wearing her favorite shorts set for the visit—lime green shorts and a T-shirt covered with cartoon fish. Matching green ribbons held her hair in pigtails. Christie stepped back a little and smiled. “You smell nice. Different from Mommy.” Erin agreed. When she’d first come to the house and spoken with him, she’d noticed the faint fragrance of his spicy after-shave and the musky undertone of pure male. There was a sound in the foyer of the house. Erin saw the housekeeper hovering in the background. Parker saw her, too, and rose to his feet. “Kiki, this is my daughter. Christie, this is Kiki. She takes care of things here.” “Hi.” Christie studied her for a moment. “That’s a pretty color,” she said, motioning to the brightly colored jogging suit the woman wore. “Are you my daddy’s mother?” Kiki smiled. She looked to be in her mid-fifties, with short blond hair and bright blue eyes. Her smile was warm as she bent toward the child. “I’m the housekeeper, Christie. I’m in charge of the cooking and I look after your father. Do you like cookies?” “Yes.” Christie nodded vigorously. “I’ve just taken some from the oven. Would you like to help me bring them to the terrace?” Kiki turned to Erin. “If you don’t mind.” Erin glanced at Parker. He looked a little shell-shocked. They both needed a moment to catch their breath. “It’s fine. Go on, honey, but you behave.” “Yes, Mommy.” Christie took the hand Kiki held out and skipped next to her as they moved down the hallway. When they had disappeared, Parker shook his head, as if clearing it. “You okay?” she asked. “Fine.” He glanced at her. “She’s amazing.” “Oh, she has her moments. Don’t let the charming smile fool you. Christie is a bright, curious and very sweet-natured child, but she also has her share of faults.” Parker stared after the girl for a moment, then seemed to remember his manners. He stepped back and motioned to the house. “Please come inside,” he said, then closed the door behind her. He escorted her to the terrace. His fingers rested on the small of her back. Erin swore she could feel the heat of that light touch clear down to her toes. The accompanying shiver made her nervous, but she was determined to ignore the sensations. The table they’d sat at before had been covered with a white linen cloth and set with dessert plates, flatware and glasses. “Kiki is preparing an assortment of treats for Christie,” Parker said, holding out a seat for Erin. “She’s spent the last three hours in a cooking frenzy.” “I wish she hadn’t bothered,” Erin said. “Christie isn’t a fussy eater. Anything that remotely resembles dessert is fine with her.” He took the seat opposite and leaned forward. One corner of his mouth quirked up in a deprecating half smile. “I don’t know where to begin.” “I know this is very sudden,” she said. “Why don’t you let me tell you about the two of us, and when you think of a question, you can ask?” “Sounds great.” His dark eyes mesmerized her and she couldn’t look away. You’re acting like a fool, she told herself firmly, mentally using the same tone she used when her daughter was misbehaving. Unfortunately it didn’t work nearly as well. With a conscious act of will, she shifted her gaze to the view beyond the terrace. The sky was a typical brilliant shade of California blue. The Pacific Ocean twinkled, the swaying waves sparkling with light. “We live in Palmdale,” she said. “You couldn’t find a place more different from this and still stay in the same state.” “Where is Palmdale? I’m not familiar with the name.” “Most people aren’t. It’s in the high desert, about ninety miles north of Los Angeles. Remember where they used to land the space shuttle?” He nodded. “That’s by us. It’s cold and windy in the winter and hot and windy in the summer. You know, a hundred and ten, with zero humidity.” He frowned. Well-shaped dark eyebrows drew together. “I think Stacey might have mentioned something about it. I can’t remember. But she didn’t go to a university there. I recruited most of my interns from Stanford.” “Stacey was at Stanford.” Erin bit back a sigh. There hadn’t been enough money for both of them to go to an expensive university, so they’d compromised. Stacey had gone to Stanford, while Erin had attended a local state college. When they both graduated, Erin was to have applied for a graduate degree. But that had never happened. Stacey had died and Erin had been responsible for a newborn. There hadn’t been time for graduate school. “She calls you ‘Mommy,’” he said. “Christie knows that Stacey is her birth mother. As much as she can, after all she’s only four and the concept of death is difficult to comprehend. She knows that we’re twins and look alike. She’s seen the photos. But I’ve raised her from the day she was born. Make no mistake, Christie is my daughter.” She made the statement quietly but firmly. She’d wrestled with this for a long time, wondering if she was doing the right thing by letting Christie think of her as her mother. Then she’d realized she didn’t have a choice. Stacey was gone forever and Erin was the only mother Christie would ever know. “I’m not judging you,” he said. “I think you made the right decision. I’m still having a hell of a time with this.” There was a noise by the far door. It opened and Christie stepped out, proudly carrying a tray covered with cookies. Parker stared at her. “Five hours ago I didn’t know she existed and now she’s here.” Erin glanced at his strong profile and the obvious pride in his expression. She’d wondered what the reclusive man would think and say when he found out about his child. She hadn’t expected him to be quite this pleased. Not that his feelings changed anything. She was still going to stick to her original plan. Christie deserved to know her father and Parker had the right to get to know his daughter. As long as a few simple rules were followed, everything should be fine. Christie made it all the way across the terrace without spilling a single cookie. Kiki followed behind with a pitcher of lemonade. “I tasted the chocolate chips cookies,” Christie said as she handed her mother the tray. “They’re ‘licious.” “I can tell.” Erin set the tray on the table, then leaned forward and wiped a few remaining crumbs from the corner of her daughter’s mouth. “How many did you taste?” “Just one,” Kiki said as she poured lemonade into three glasses. She gave Erin a quick wink. “She tried to convince me she was starving.” “We just had lunch,” Erin said. “I was starving. For cookies.” Christie grinned. Parker grabbed a handful. “I’m hungry enough to eat anything. Someone here forgot about my lunch.” Kiki turned to him and covered her mouth with her fingers. She shook her head. “Parker, I’m sorry. I was so busy making the cookies and lemonade.” “Yeah, yeah, no problem. Maybe you could make me a sandwich or something.” “Sure.” She took two steps, then paused. “Erin, can I get you a sandwich, too?” “I’m fine.” Kiki returned to the kitchen. Christie scrambled into the seat between Parker and Erin. She picked up her glass of lemonade with both hands and took a drink. Some of the liquid ran down her chin and onto her shirtfront. Erin wiped it away with a napkin. Christie set the glass down and grinned. “I’ve never had a mommy and a daddy before.” Erin brushed the girl’s bangs off her forehead. “You’re going to milk this for all it’s worth, aren’t you?” “It’s not milk, it’s lemonade,” Christie said, pointing to the pitcher. “Can I have some more, please?” “I’ll get it.” Parker reached for the pitcher and filled her glass. “And cookies.” “Just one,” Erin told her. Parker handed the child the plate. Christie took one, then reached for a second. “I’d like two.” Parker stared at the girl, then looked at Erin. “I—” “I warned you about her,” she said, and took the plate from him. “One,” she repeated. Christie stuck out her lower lip, but didn’t say anything. She’d learned that whining usually resulted in her losing the treat she already had. “I was telling your father about where we live,” Erin said. “Why don’t you tell him about your preschool?” Parker broke one of his cookies in half. “You go to school?” “Every day. I’m very smart. When I grow up I’m going to be smarter than everyone. Except Mommy.” She paused and studied him. “Are you smarter than Mommy?” Parker had popped half the cookie into his mouth and started to chew. He tried to swallow it quickly and only succeeded in choking. As he coughed, Erin handed him his lemonade. He took a sip, coughed again, then said weakly, “What was the question?” “Are you smarter than Mommy?” “Think before you answer that,” Erin said, then took a small bite of her cookie. It was still warm and the chocolate chips were soft and sweet. “I probably know more about computers than she does,” he said carefully. “But she knows more about other things.” “Nice save,” Erin said. He flashed her a grin. The cookie turned to tasteless crumbs in her mouth as a bolt of awareness slammed into her chest and roared down to her toes. She blinked, waiting for it to go away, or at least fade. It did neither. Instead she was acutely aware of Parker and a sensation in her chest that felt suspiciously like heat. So the man was vaguely attractive. So he was nice to Christie. So he had a sense of humor. It was the salt air, or the cookies, or the sunshine. It was the fact that she’d spent the past four years getting her teaching credential, finding a job and being a single mom. She hadn’t had the time nor energy to think about having a man in her life. Something long dead was finally coming to life. Nothing more. Really. Christie munched on her cookie. “Do you have a dog?” she asked, giving her mother a sideways glance. Christie had been angling for a puppy of her own for nearly a year. Erin understood the girl wanting one, but life was hectic enough without adding more responsibility. “No, sorry,” Parker said. “Dogs are very nice.” “I’m sure they are.” He looked faintly confused. “Do you have a dog?” Christie raised her shoulders and let go with an exaggerated sigh. “No. Maybe when I’m older.” She took a drink. “Do you have any other little girls you don’t know you have?” This time he was drinking instead of chewing when he started to choke. He coughed for a few minutes, then cleared his throat. “This seems to be a chronic problem for you,” Erin said, refilling his glass. “It’s very recent,” he said and coughed again. “No, Christie, I don’t have any other little girls.” “So I’m your ownliest daughter?” “Yes.” She wrinkled her nose, then tilted her head so one of her pigtails brushed against her shoulder. “It would be very nice to have someone to play with.” “I don’t know of any other children around here. I can ask Kiki.” “If there aren’t children, I could play with a puppy.” “Enough about the puppy,” Erin said. “It wouldn’t have to be very big.” “Christie!” she said sternly. “Yes, Mommy. I’ll be good.” She glanced at Parker out of the corner of her eye. “Sometimes I’m a handful.” “I’ll bet.” Father and daughter smiled at each other. Since finding her sister’s diary, Erin had spent several sleepless nights wondering if she was doing the right thing. Everything she’d read about Parker Hamilton had convinced her he was a decent man and that he would want to know about his child. She’d been concerned about his reaction and a little nervous about allowing someone into the special world she’d built with her daughter. But now, staring at the two of them, seeing the similarities and differences, she knew she’d made the right decision. Everything was going to work out perfectly. Chapter Three Christie finished her cookie and lemonade without mentioning the puppy again. Parker couldn’t help staring at her. She was small, smaller than he’d imagined, but very lively and bright. Her eyes were a few shades lighter than in the photo, but still brown. She glanced at him, then smiled. A dimple appeared on both cheeks. He couldn’t help smiling back. “You’re very pretty,” he said without thinking. The dimples deepened as she grinned. “Mommy says so, too. Angela Bedford is beautiful. She’s got long blond hair and blue eyes and she’s made a ‘mercial.” “A what?” “A commercial,” Erin said and reached for her glass. “Mrs. Bedford is hoping to get her daughter into television.” “Why would anyone want to do that?” he asked. She laughed. “My thoughts exactly.” Her shoulder-length hair brushed against her cream sweater as she tilted her head and glanced around the terrace. Parker felt as if he’d gotten sucked into one of his video games. In the space of a few hours, his whole world had been turned upside down. Erin was Stacey’s twin sister. The longer he was with Erin, the more he remembered about her sister. Yet he had no sense of d?j? vu. Despite the physical similarities, he knew Erin was a different personality. They might look alike, but they projected two completely different people. Stacey had been—He frowned trying to remember what she’d been. Intense, driven; she’d been one of the hardest workers on the project. She’d also been underfoot. He remembered the feeling of not being able to escape her. He didn’t know Erin at all, yet even after spending such a short period of time with her he sensed that she was more relaxed and accepting of things. She handled her child easily, without being overbearing. Her child…his child. He swore silently and wondered what on earth he was going to do with a kid. Not that he didn’t like Christie, but he wasn’t the paternal type. He hadn’t been around children since he was one. Kiki came out onto the terrace and walked to their table. “Does anyone need more cookies or lemonade?” she asked as she placed a sandwich in front of him. “Christie and I are fine,” Erin said. Parker took a big bite of his sandwich. “Great,” he mumbled. Kiki gave him her “don’t talk with your mouth full” look, but fortunately, she didn’t say it out loud. Kiki had been with him seven years and was worse than his mother had ever been. He didn’t know how he would survive without her, though. Kiki squatted down next to Christie and touched the girl’s shoulder. “I bet you have your own room back home,” she said. Christie nodded. “Uh-huh. I’ve got a big girl bed and bookshelves.” “You like to read?” “Yup.” She scrunched her nose. “I can read lots of words by myself, but for the extra-long stories, Mommy reads those to me. I want to read big girl books. When I go to school in the fall, I’m going to really learn how to read. And numbers, too.” “Good for you. Do you go to school now?” “Yes, but it’s not real school. Not with the big kids.” Erin leaned forward. “She’s in a preschool. Christie can’t wait to start elementary school. She wants to learn everything, don’t you honey?” Parker listened to the exchange, all the while eating his sandwich. Kiki didn’t have any trouble talking with the girl. She just asked the same sort of questions she would ask anyone visiting. Maybe there wasn’t a trick. Maybe he should just talk to Christie as if she were a regular person. Kiki stood up. “Parker, I’m sure Erin and Christie would like to see the gardens and maybe go down to the beach.” “Good idea,” he said, then popped the last bit of sandwich into his mouth. He wiped his hands on a napkin, then glanced at his daughter. She looked at him. “I love the beach,” she said seriously, as if her goal in life was to see his. Erin laughed. “You’ve only been to the beach once. How do you know if you like it?” “It was very nice,” Christie said, still serious. “You’re going to love this one,” he told her and stood up. Erin rose gracefully, then helped Christie out of the chair. Parker motioned for them to go through the living room and out the front. They turned left and circled around the house. “There’s no way to get from the terrace to the beach,” Parker said as he led them to a wrought-iron gate and pulled it open. “The stone fence is built into the house itself. This is the only way down to our private beach. It’s not very big, but it’s nice when the tide is out.” Erin glanced back at him as she walked by. “What happens when the tide is in?” “Depending on how high it is, the beach can go underwater. Not often, though. It’s pretty safe.” “Is there a lock on that gate?” Parker followed her gaze to Christie. “Yes. We haven’t been using it, but we can.” Of course the child was too small to be trusted down on the beach by herself. He made a mental note to mention locking the gate to Kiki as soon as they returned. Erin reached down and took her daughter’s hand. “It’s very lush here,” she said. “I’d expected windswept cliffs and a couple of redwood trees.” Parker glanced around at the trees and creeping vines lining the path. On either side, blooming flowers nestled against juniper ground cover. “I have a gardener who wages a battle against the salt air and bad soil. So far he seems to be winning.” She paused to finger a flowering crepe myrtle. “Very beautiful.” Christie stood on her toes and sniffed. “Smells pretty, too.” As Parker followed them to the wooden stairs that hugged the side of the cliff, he tried to remember the last time he’d noticed the garden. The house had nearly a quarter acre of cultivated grounds. He owned everything to the main road, but left most of it in its natural state. For the past couple of years he hadn’t seen anything past his office. Up ahead, the path made one last sharp turn before widening into a half circle that ended at the top of the stairs. Both Erin and Christie stopped to stare. He came up behind them and knew he’d been lucky to find this property when it was for sale. To the left was the tall three-story house. The path sloped down, so they were below the first floor. To their right was the wild rugged coastline of Northern California. Sea gulls circled overhead. In front of the path, the Pacific Ocean stretched out for miles before disappearing into the horizon. “Where does it go?” Christie asked. “Clear around the world,” he told her. She quivered with excitement. “Mommy, Mommy, we could get a boat and sail forever.” Erin gave him a wry glance. “I don’t think my stomach’s up to it. I was never a very good sailor.” “Me, either,” he said. “But cruise ships are fine.” “I’ve never been on one.” He had the strangest urge to offer to take her on a cruise. Just the three of them. He shook his head to clear it and ignored the impulse. “The stairs are a little steep,” he said, then looked at four-year-old Christie. It would take her forever to get down. “I can carry her,” Erin told him. “You’re not any more familiar with the stairs. Besides, Christie looks as if she weighs enough to knock you off balance.” He squatted down as he’d seen Kiki do. “How do you feel about a piggyback ride?” he asked Christie. She beamed at him and clapped her hands. “Yes!” She wrapped her arms around his neck. He reached behind him for her chubby legs, then stood up. She wasn’t that big, at least not to him, but he assumed she was the size of an average four-year-old. Erin watched for a moment to make sure Christie was balanced. “Look at me, Mommy,” the little girl crowed. “I see.” She turned her attention to him. “Do you want me to go first?” “Sure. Then we can follow slowly.” The sound of the waves crashing on the rocks got louder as they descended. Parker was used to the stairs. Two landings broke up the steep trip. He usually went down at a jog, but not with Christie on his back. Her small hands clutched his shirt and shoulders. The skin of her bare legs was warm against his hands. She clung to him as if she were a little monkey, and he caught a faint whiff of something unfamiliar over the scent of the salt air. She smelled of chocolate and sweetly of herself. A band tightened in his chest. Not an emotion as much as a reaction. A fierce need to protect her and be there for her. Erin reached the beach first. She smiled at Christie. “You doing okay?” “This is fun.” She leaned her face closer to his ear. “I want piggyback rides all the time.” “You got it,” he told her as he stepped off the last step. The tide was out, the small half moon of hard-packed sand was still damp. Their athletic shoes didn’t make any sound as they left faint imprints. The sun was warm and the sky clear. Erin came up behind him and lifted Christie to the ground. The girl ran to the edge of the water, then raced back. “There’s nobody here but us. And the birds. You can’t see the house.” She leaned her head back and stared straight up. Parker followed her gaze. “It’s the angle of the cliff. The house is built into the rock so it isn’t at risk of sliding during rainstorms.” Christie spun around and faced the water. She flung her arms out and ran in ever widening circles. “I’m a birdie, too.” In her lime green shorts and shirt and her pigtails streaming out behind her, she was an exotic creature. At least in his world. “She’s got a lot of energy,” he said. “More than usual.” Erin tucked her hands in her jeans front pockets. The action emphasized the swell of her breasts under her sweater. “We took two days to drive up from Palmdale. We took a lot of breaks, but that’s a long time for a child to sit still in a car. Besides, I’m all in favor of you tiring her out so she goes to bed early tonight.” “You mentioned you drove up with a friend?” “Joyce. Her fianc? is waiting for her in San Francisco. He’s on a business trip, then they’re going to spend some time together in the city.” Erin glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He noticed her eyelashes were thick and dark. “Having her along has been great,” she continued. “Not only did we get to split the driving, but she looked after Christie this morning and has given me moral support.” “What does she have to say about all of this?” “She thinks I’m crazy for dropping in on your life. She warned me you wouldn’t be interested.” “In my own daughter?” Erin turned as if to check that Christie was out of earshot. The girl was digging for crabs. “She thought you wouldn’t want to be reminded of a four-year-old mistake.” The bright sun heated the air and danced on the top of the waves. Christie looked up at him and smiled. He smiled back. “Is that how you thought I’d think of her? As a mistake?” He kept his voice low. “I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.” “I’m glad.” He still didn’t know anything about Erin Ridgeway. This could be a scam to get money out of him. But he didn’t give a damn. He knew Christie was his and that’s all that mattered. The girl stood up and raced toward them. She stopped about a foot in front of him and stared up. Her eyebrows pulled together in a frown. “Angela Bedford’s daddy is a policeman. What do you do?” “I design programs for computers.” “We have computers at school. I like them.” She shrugged casually. “I like puppies better, though.” Erin burst out laughing. She swooped down and pulled her daughter close. “I’m going to tickle you into behaving.” “I’ll behave! I’ll behave!” Christie shrieked, but didn’t try to pull away. She wiggled close and threw her arms around Erin’s waist. Parker watched them, feeling like the odd one out. The relationships between children and parents were unfamiliar to him. His family had never been affectionate. He didn’t remember either of his parents playing, tickling or even teasing him. “She’s a monster,” Erin said, looking up at him and smiling. “Should we throw her to the other sea monsters?” “Nah, they’d just spit her back.” “Spit?” Christie repeated, sounding outraged. “They would not spit me back. They would make me their princess and I would have a castle under the sea and you would miss me very much.” “I think I might at that,” Erin said, then dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “We better head back up. I still have to talk to your father about a few things.” “Okay.” Christie ran to the stairs and started to climb. Parker brought up the rear. He walked slowly marveling over how easily Erin referred to him as Christie’s father. Of course he was, but the word was unfamiliar. He reminded himself that she’d had longer to come to terms with that. She’d known for weeks. He’d only found out a few hours ago. Questions spun through his mind. What did Erin want from him? What was his place in Christie’s life? Did he have one and did he want one? Underlining it all was a thin thread of fear that came from the knowledge of how easily all this could be destroyed. He’d done it before. When they reached the pathway, Christie raced ahead of them. She paused every few feet to bat at the crepe myrtle, laugh, then run again. Erin placed her hand on her chest and drew in a deep breath. “I need to exercise more,” she said between breaths. “Those stairs are a killer.” He pushed a branch out of the way so she could duck under it. “Do you have a job?” he asked as he caught up with her. She laughed. “Of course. What did you think? I’m an elementary school teacher.” “I thought there might be insurance money, or something.” Erin shook her head. Her hazel eyes darkened with emotion. “There was a little when Stacey died, but not much. I stayed home with Christie that first summer. Having an infant thrust upon me with no warning was a shock.” “I can relate to that.” She smiled, exposing the dimple in her right cheek. “I’ll bet you can. I didn’t know how else to tell you.” “You did fine.” He touched his hand to the small of her back. She jumped a little, so he dropped his arm to his side. “Had you always planned on becoming a teacher?” “No, but with a child to raise, it seemed the most sensible plan. I could get off work at a decent time and have summers with her. I used the last of the insurance money getting my credentials and went to work when Christie was a year old.” They’d reached the gate. Parker opened it and Christie raced across the lawn. She started spinning around, then collapsed on the smooth grass and stared up at the sky. “I wish I’d known,” he said. “Do you?” She shrugged. “I don’t mean to sound surprised, but I tried to get in touch with you after Christie was born. I didn’t think you were her father, but I thought you might know who was. All my letters were sent back unopened.” Guilt flooded him. “I’m sorry. I’d sold the company and told them not to forward any mail. I didn’t think anyone would be trying to get in touch with me.” And he hadn’t wanted to have any contact with the world. After Stacey had left, he’d fallen apart. Pain and guilt had overwhelmed him until getting through the day had been more than he could manage. He’d betrayed his wife’s memory—traded in their special love for one night of passion. One night of trying to feel alive. It was as if Robin’s death had killed him, too. God, he’d missed her. He still did. Sometimes missing her was all that kept him going. “We all survived,” Erin said as she headed for the front door. “Now, we start over.” Christie bounced to her feet and skipped toward her. Parker stared at the child and battled regret over the first four years he’d lost. Kiki was waiting in the foyer. “Did you enjoy the beach?” she asked. Christie nodded vigorously. “It’s beautiful. We saw birds and I got a piggyback ride. I almost caught a crab, but it kept digging and digging and I can’t dig that fast.” Kiki ruffled the girl’s bangs. “You can catch it next time.” She glanced at him. “Why don’t you show them around the house? It’s very unusual.” “If you’d like,” Parker said, looking at Erin for her approval. She nodded as they walked into the living room. “It’s a great old place. When was it built?” “In the 1920s by an eccentric millionaire who made his money in railroads, lumber and oil. Much of this room is original,” he said. The open-beamed ceiling soared nearly twenty feet high. Dark wood broke up the plain white walls. There were huge windows that looked out onto the terrace and the ocean beyond. Opposite, smaller windows gave a view of the front yard. Dark blue leather sofas and chairs were grouped together in conversational areas. Bold paintings, some modern, some old, added color to the room. Erin walked over to the one above the fireplace. It showed a wild storm raging against an island. “Did you pick these out yourself?” “Some I have because I like them, others are investments. That one I bought because of how it made me feel.” He still remembered how the anger and power of the painting had called him from across the gallery. He’d accepted an invitation to a showing on impulse. That had been about a year or so after Robin had died, when he was trying to put his life back together. The threads had remained unraveled, but the painting had allowed him to believe he wasn’t the only person dealing with powerful and unexplained emotions. “Very raw,” she said. Kiki walked across the hardwood floor. She pointed to the right hand wall. “This buffet and those two chairs are original pieces from the house. The former owner had much of the furniture custom-made.” From there they walked into the dining room. Again Kiki pointed out the original dining room set. Here the windows were smaller, but the view no less impressive. In fact, it was better than the living room because the room butted right up to the cliff. He hung back as Kiki took Erin and Christie through the kitchen, then back through the living room to the other side. Parker wondered how this house must appear to Erin. She lived on a teacher’s salary, which couldn’t be a lot. There hadn’t been much in the way of insurance money, and she hadn’t mentioned receiving help from any relatives. Was she doing it on her own? “There’s another fireplace,” Christie said loudly, when they walked into the study. Parker followed more slowly. This was one of his favorite rooms. There weren’t any windows, in fact part of the ceiling sloped because the room was partially tucked under the stairs. Bookshelves lined two walls and flanked the fireplace on a third. The fourth wall contained a built-in entertainment system complete with laser disc and four-way speakers. As he entered the study, Christie was staring reverently at the big screen television. “I don’t think I have anything you would like,” he said, motioning to his library of laser discs. “But maybe you can tell me what you enjoy and I’ll get it.” Her brown eyes widened. Her mouth opened. Before she could speak, Erin touched her shoulder. “You can give Parker your list later,” she said. “For now just say thank you.” “Thank you,” Christie breathed, practically quivering with excitement. Her gaze darted around the room, then settled on something. “Ooh, who’s the pretty lady?” Parker knew before he turned that Christie had spotted the portrait of Robin. The eleven-by-sixteen print fit into an oversize frame on one of the bookshelves. A small light illuminated the picture. Parker took the little girl’s hand and led her to the photograph. He lifted it down so Christie could see it more easily. “That’s my wife, Robin.” Christie frowned. “If you have a wife, how can you be my daddy?” He heard someone take a sharp breath of air and assumed it was Erin. “No matter what, I’m still your father, Christie. Robin died a long time ago.” He looked at the girl’s solemn eyes. “Do you know what that means?” “She’s gone, like my other mommy, Stacey.” Christie touched the glass protecting the photograph. “She’s pretty. I like her hair. It’s all wavy.” She touched the pigtails that barely brushed her shoulders. “My hair’s not that long and it doesn’t wave like that.” “You’re still pretty, too,” he said. Christie grinned. He set the picture back in its place. He studied it for a minute. It was a beautiful shot taken by a skilled photographer. He kept it out because it was Robin’s favorite picture of herself. She was dressed in period costume, something from the 1920s, when the house had been built. Her white lace dress fell straight to her ankles. A large hat shaded her face. She stood with her head turned slightly away from the camera. The black-and-white film dulled the color of her red hair and the shadows muted her freckles. She was stunningly beautiful in this picture, but in his mind, she was a stranger. He preferred Robin in real life with her too-bright hair and glasses falling down her nose. He liked the freckles she despised and her slightly awkward way of moving through a room. “I’d forgotten about her,” Erin said, almost under her breath. When he turned toward her, she flushed and held her hands palm up in a gesture of surrender. “Your late wife was mentioned in a couple of articles I read in the library, but I’d forgotten that you lost her. I’m sorry, Parker.” Her words were an uncomfortable reminder that he was the sort of person people read about in magazines. He’d hated that part of his success. He preferred to remain out of the public eye. What else had Erin learned? What exactly did she want from him? “Maybe it’s time we talked,” he said, motioning to the red-brown leather sofa across from the entertainment unit. “This is going to be boring grown-up talk,” Kiki said quickly. “Christie, why don’t you come with me and I’ll show you the upstairs? There are a couple of secret rooms.” “Really?” She glanced at her mother. “Go ahead, honey,” Erin told her. “Be good and don’t touch anything.” “Yes, Mommy.” Kiki led the child out of the room. Parker waited until Erin was seated before taking a wing chair for himself. The lighting was such that he could see her face clearly, but knew he was in shadow. He hadn’t liked his time in the business world, but he’d learned from it. “Let’s cut right to the heart of the matter, Ms. Ridgeway,” he said calmly. “I’m convinced Christie is my daughter. I assume you want to enter into negotiations about her support.” Erin stared at him for several moments, then started to laugh. The bright sound filled the dark room, sweeping away the emotional dust. She placed her hands on her thighs and leaned toward him. Her mouth curved up slightly, her dimple playing hide-and-seek on her cheek. “It’s Erin, Parker. We’d already agreed on that.” She studied him for a moment and the smile faded. “I had thought it might be nice to be rich, but I see I was mistaken. How many people come here looking only for money?” “More than you can imagine.” “I’m sorry. I know you don’t believe that, but I am. Christie and I are doing fine. We don’t want financial assistance. As far as that’s concerned, all I care about is a college trust fund for her.” Her fingers were long and lean. They rested on her jeans. She’d pulled up the sleeves of her sweater. He could see her finely boned wrists and the inexpensive watch she wore. He raised his gaze past the tempting curve of her breasts—ignoring the faint stirring of interest that started deep inside—to the small gold hoops at her ears. She wasn’t flashy. If she really wasn’t interested in his money, then she was unlike any woman he’d met since Robin died. “Frankly I’m more interested in what you can give Christie emotionally rather than financially,” she said. He braced his arms on the chair. “What does that mean?” “Christie needs a father in her life. If you want to take on that role, then it’s a real commitment. She would need regular contact with you. Before you agree to anything, you have to think this through. I’d rather know now if you’re not interested, because I don’t want her heart broken.” “I would never hurt her,” he said quietly, then wondered why he spoke the lie. Of course he would hurt her. He hurt every woman who had ever cared about him. Eventually he let them down. He pushed the past away and concentrated on Erin. “Assuming I want to be involved with Christie, what are you suggesting? You sound as if you have a plan.” She nodded. “The distance is a problem. Also, Christie has friends and school. She can’t be taken away from that just because it’s convenient for you. My suggestion is that you fly down and visit her every third weekend. It will be easier for you to travel than for her. She’s too young to go on a plane by herself, and I can’t drive her up here for the weekend.” “Agreed,” he said, wondering what on earth he was getting himself into. He was going to take Christie for a weekend? Down there? He wouldn’t even have Kiki to help, unless he brought her, but he doubted his housekeeper would be willing to give up her social life to travel with him. “During the summer Christie can come up for two weeks at the beginning and two weeks at the end. Also, you can have the week after Christmas.” Dates and times whirled through his head. “You’ve thought this through.” “I figured I’d better. After all I’ve known about this longer than you have. If it’s agreeable, Christie and I will stay in town for the next couple of weeks so the two of you can get to know each other. I’ll be around to help you over the rough spots.” She smiled. “I know how hard it is to suddenly be responsible for a child, especially without warning.” He didn’t know what to say. Erin’s plan was sensible, although there was something about it he didn’t like. However, he couldn’t come up with anything specific so he let it go. Of course he wanted to spend time with his daughter. He’d just found her and he wasn’t going to lose her again. Then he realized what was wrong. Erin’s sensible plan placed limitations on his time and involvement. What if he wanted to be a full-time father instead of a part-time one? There wasn’t room in her equation for that. Before he could mention it, Christie burst into the room followed by Kiki. The girl had an armful of flowers cut from the garden. Erin looked at her. “Those are beautiful.” “Kiki said I could pick them for you.” She crossed the room and placed the flowers in her mother’s lap. “They smell nice, too.” “Thank you.” Erin’s smile included the housekeeper as well. “You know what else?” Christie asked, dancing from foot to foot. “No. What?” “Well, you said we would stay in town for a while so I could get to know my daddy.” Christie smiled winningly. “But we don’t have to stay so far away. We could stay right here. I found the perfectest room all for myself.” Chapter Four Erin stared at her daughter, sure she must have misunderstood what she was saying. One look at Parker’s stunned expression told her she had not. Christie wanted to stay here—with her father. It wasn’t possible, of course. The complications. The awkwardness alone boggled the mind. Besides, Erin had a feeling she was going to need some breathing room away from Parker. For some reason her hormones had decided to start line-dancing whenever he was in the vicinity. She caught a quick movement out of the corner of her eye. Kiki was inching toward the door. “It’s all the way at the top of the house,” Christie said, her voice bright with excitement. She was completely oblivious to any tension in the room. “I can see the ocean and the whole sky. There’s a rocking horse and playhouse and a big bed to sleep in all by myself.” Her smile was winning. “Across the hall is a grown-up room just for you. There’s a window with a seat. There’s even a little wooden box by the bed,” Christie went on, grinning widely. “You know, for a puppy.” Erin dropped her head to her chest and fought back a groan. When had everything gotten so out of hand? “Kiki,” Parker said sternly. “What have you been telling Christie?” The housekeeper had almost made it to the hallway. At the question, she paused, then slowly walked back into the room. “I didn’t say anything.” Parker raised his eyebrows and waited. “Well, I didn’t,” Kiki said defiantly. “Christie mentioned that she and her mother were planning on staying in town for a couple of weeks. This place is large enough to house a regiment. It seems silly for them to be paying a hotel bill when all this space is available.” “So you thought you’d tell her that?” “It may have slipped out,” she confessed. “But you must admit having them stay here isn’t a bad idea.” Parker glanced at Erin and shook his head. “She’s been with me too long to fire, but sometimes she tries my patience.” “Don’t talk about me as if I weren’t in the room,” Kiki said. “Would you rather I said what I was thinking?” Kiki sighed. “Not really.” Erin looked at Parker and was pleased that he didn’t seem truly annoyed by the conversation. At least he had a sense of humor. The real question was did he have a solution? Kiki and Christie stared at her with matching hopeful expressions. She didn’t know what to say. For one thing, Parker hadn’t invited them. For another, it wasn’t a good idea. She could feel it in her bones, and in her stomach. “I don’t think—” she began. “If Christie stays here, Parker has a better chance to get to know his daughter,” Kiki interrupted. “After all, he has a lot of time to make up for.” That one hurt, Erin thought, as the blow fell squarely below her belt. “Kiki, I appreciate what you’re doing,” Parker said. “But it isn’t necessary.” Erin touched the cool leather of the sofa and wondered what she should do. While she was still trying to figure that out, Christie cut to the heart of the matter. She crossed the study and stood directly in front of her father. After placing one small hand on his knee she said, “Daddy, do you want Mommy and me to stay with you?” Erin rose to her feet. “Christie, that’s enough. You can’t put your father on the spot like that. This morning he didn’t even know about us. We’re here to get to know each other and that’s what we’re going to do. We don’t have to live in the same house to become acquainted.” Christie turned toward her. Her lower lip trembled slightly. “But, Mommy, we’re ‘posed to live together. Mommy and Daddy and me. You read that to me. ‘member?” Unfortunately, Erin did ’member. She’d checked out a couple of books on different kinds of families from the library. She’d thought they would help Christie understand that she wasn’t the only one being raised by a single parent. Some of the chapters had talked about extended families. A new mommy or daddy joined the family, then he or she came to live with them. It was perfectly normal. Common even. Only it wasn’t going to happen this time. She and Parker might be Mommy and Daddy, but they weren’t going to live together. Erin walked over to her daughter and knelt down on the area rug. Parker was a scant foot away, but she did her best to ignore him. She took her daughter’s hands in hers, marveling as she always did at how small her palms and fingers were; small, yet perfectly formed. “Christie, it doesn’t matter if Parker and I live together or never see each other again. You’re the important one. You need to get to know your father. That’s why we’re here. You’re going to get a chance to do that, but it will be easier if we’re staying at the hotel.” Easier for the adults, at least, Erin thought. Aside from the privacy, she was going to need the downtime. She glanced at Parker who was staring at her intently. “I’m sorry,” she said. “You’ve had a lot of shocks today. Why don’t I take Christie back to the hotel and we can pick this up in the morning?” He didn’t respond. Instead he frowned slightly. “I’m not sure what’s best,” he said, then turned to Christie. “Do you want to stay here?” She nodded until her pigtails flapped like two flags in a stiff breeze. He leaned forward in his chair and placed his elbows on his knees. His face was close enough to hers that she could see the individual whiskers that would soon darken his jawline. His dark irises were a mixture of colors. Brown, dark blue, hints of green and gold. “It’s not a bad idea,” he finally said. Erin blinked at him. Not a bad idea? Was he insane? It was a hideous idea. It was the worst idea she’d ever heard. Unfortunately she couldn’t say any of that. The air had fled her lungs and she couldn’t speak. She didn’t know if it was the force of his gaze or the scent of his body, but either way, she was immobilized. “I would like the time to get to know Christie,” he continued. “There’s plenty of room for both of you.” “Please, Mommy,” Christie begged. “Don’t forget, I live here,” Kiki said from her place by the door. “I’ll be the chaperon.” Parker straightened immediately. His face hardened, and his expression became unreadable. Erin felt as if she’d been slapped. Obviously even the thought of anything happening between them was so repugnant, he could barely stay seated. Well, that was just fine with her. She wasn’t interested in him, either. Pray God he hadn’t been able to tell what she was thinking earlier when just the lightest touch of his fingers on the small of her back had sent heat spiraling through her body. Something was very wrong with her and as soon as she figured out what it was, she was going to get it fixed. She stood up and glanced from Parker to Kiki to Christie. She didn’t know what to do. Staying would probably be best for Christie and Parker. They would need time to get to know each other before they could bond. “Say yes,” Christie whispered. “Say yes,” Kiki said. Finally Parker glanced up at her. “I would like the two of you to stay.” She drew in a deep breath. “All right.” Christie whooped loudly and flung herself at Erin. “You’re the bestest mommy ever.” Erin placed her hand on her daughter’s head. “I’ll remind you of that when you’re fighting your bedtime.” Christie giggled, then spun around and grinned at Parker. “Can I have that room upstairs? The one with all the windows so I can see the whole sky? And the rocking horse and the playhouse?” “Of course.” Parker also rose to his feet. He towered over Erin by a good seven or eight inches and she was five feet seven inches. “Kiki will make up the room across the hall for you, Erin. That way you can be close by. I’m down on the second floor.” His tone told her he was reassuring her that she would be safe from him. She’d already figured that out. “I’ve paid for the motel room for today,” she said. “I think Christie and I should stay there tonight. My friend Joyce will be leaving in the morning, then Christie and I will check out and come here. Say ten or eleven?” “That sounds perfect,” Kiki said, before Parker could comment. She moved forward and took Christie by the hand. “You’re going to have to tell me everything you like to eat. I can cook anything. Would you like a cake for dessert after lunch tomorrow?” Christie’s answer was lost as Kiki led the girl out of the room. Erin watched them go, then turned her attention to Parker. Some of the tension seemed to have left his body, but his expression was still unreadable. “You can change your mind,” she said quietly. “It’s not too late. Christie would understand.” His dark gaze met hers. “That’s not an option. I want to get to know my daughter. After all, she’ll be spending time here.” His mouth eased into a smile. “I’ll admit to being a little overwhelmed.” “Only a little?” she teased. “Okay. A lot overwhelmed. But this is important to me. Now that I’ve found her, I want to be a part of her life.” “I’m glad,” Erin said and was pleased that she really meant it. “Christie is a great kid. She deserves a father who cares about her.” Something very much like pain flashed through Parker’s eyes. Before Erin could figure out what it was, he’d placed his hand on the small of her back and was urging her toward the door. Her out-of-control hormones took over and all she could do was endure the heat the contact produced and concentrate on not making a fool out of herself. “I think you’re insane,” Joyce said the next morning as she pulled the shoulder strap of her purse up her arm and settled it in place. “Coming up here to meet the guy is one thing, but living with him is another. What if he’s an ax murderer?” “I’ve met the man. He seems very nice. He has a live-in housekeeper. I’ve read magazine articles about him and even seen his credit report. None of them mentioned anything about being an ax murderer.” Joyce brushed her long blond hair out of her face. “You think serial killers can’t get a credit card?” “I think serial killers aren’t millionaires who set up foundations to help poor children get a good education.” “He did that?” Erin nodded, then rose to her feet. The bathtub was almost half full of water. She checked the temperature, then turned off the faucet. Christie was already pulling off her nightgown and stepping into the water. “I have to be pretty when I see my daddy again,” she said and she sat in the tub. It was the first time the girl had ever requested a bath, so Erin wasn’t about to discourage her. “Do you want your toys?” she asked. Christie rolled her eyes. “Of course.” Erin grinned, then handed her the net bag containing all her bathtub entertainment. She left the bathroom door open and stepped into the bedroom. The sound of splashing followed her. Joyce glanced at her watch. “I should be going.” “I wish you hadn’t rented a car. I would have been happy to drive you to San Francisco.” “No, it’s too far. Christie was cooped up in the car enough on the way up here. I’ll be fine.” Joyce smiled. “Besides, I rented a convertible. A far cry from my sensible import back home, but it is just for the day.” “You’ll be okay?” Joyce touched her oversize handbag. “I’ve got maps and the number of Dan’s hotel. I’ll be fine.” Erin looked at her friend. Joyce was a stereotypical California girl with blond hair and blue eyes, and a petite figure that made her the envy of most of her friends. If she hadn’t been a genuinely nice person, someone would have done her in years ago. She taught at the same school with Erin. When Erin had first mentioned driving up to meet Christie’s father, Joyce had offered to tag along to spell the driving and to baby-sit if needed. Then she would hop down to San Francisco and spend a week with her fianc? who was there on business. “You’re sure about this guy?” Joyce asked, obviously reluctant to leave. Erin crossed the room and gave her friend a hug. “I would never put Christie in danger. Parker Hamiliton is a very nice man. A little reclusive, but that’s not a horrible fault. He seems genuinely excited to meet his daughter. Christie needs this.” Joyce hugged her back, then stared at her. “You always worry about what Christie needs, but who worries about what you need?” “Me? I’m fine.” “You’re twenty-seven years old, and you’re living like a nun.” “I happen to like living like a nun.” Joyce laughed. “Don’t lie to me. You hate it. You have to. It’s not easy being responsible for everything yourself. I just wish—” Erin returned to the double bed by the door and sank onto the mattress. “You wish what?” “I wish it had turned out differently.” Erin shook her head. Off-key singing floated out of the bathroom. 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