The Morning After the Wedding Before

The Morning After the Wedding Before Laura Ziepe A fantastically feel-good, laugh-out-loud romantic comedy from Laura Ziepe, coming soon!Perfect for fans of Lindsey Kelk, Kat French and Tracy Bloom.Readers love Laura Ziepe:‘A fun, flirty, light-hearted, girly read!’‘A light, easy read with bursts of sparkle on every page and plenty of laughs throughout.’‘Best book I've read in ages!’‘Hilarious, I loved it!’‘A brilliant debut novel from a very talented author who seems set to go far.’ About the Author (#ulink_dadac695-edf2-50ec-b841-3f2e631d8898) LAURA ZIEPE lives in Brentwood in Essex with her husband Terry, three-year-old twins Harry and Darcey, and two dogs. Laura has always loved writing from a young age and was often writing stories from as young as eight. After leaving sixth form and working in office jobs for a year in London, Laura decided to go to university. Unsure what to study, Laura’s oldest friend asked her what her ideal job would be. Immediately answering ‘author’, Laura followed her dreams and chose a degree in Creative Writing and English at St Mary’s University in Twickenham. As well as writing books, she is a freelance make-up artist and loves travelling as much as she can. She has previously written three novels, ’Tis the Season to be Single, Essex Girls and Made in Essex and hopes to be writing for many years to come. You can follow Laura on Twitter @lauraziepe (https://twitter.com/lauraziepe) or on Instagram @lauraziepewriter (https://instagram.com/lauraziepewriter). The Morning After the Wedding Before LAURA ZIEPE HQ An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd. 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF First published in Great Britain by HQ in 2019 Copyright © Laura Ziepe 2019 Laura Ziepe asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work. A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins. Source ISBN: 9780008330958 E-book Edition © 2019 ISBN: 9780008318499 Version: 2019-05-24 Table of Contents Cover (#u326750b1-5206-5c9a-a931-21f7531797cb) About the Author (#u2a36b835-51bb-5d27-aa96-6ee99fe118f3) Title page (#uf10577e1-e3bb-5d72-8574-3fc9b4d935a2) Copyright (#u4b85cfb3-a537-52d1-b7b6-8399de9e2e09) Dedication (#uddcf02c5-1d20-5e4d-bda6-b976746974eb) Chapter 1: Holly Chapter 2: Holly Chapter 3: Emma Chapter 4: Holly Chapter 5: Kim Chapter 6: Holly Chapter 7: Emma Chapter 8: Kim Chapter 9: Holly Chapter 10 Chapter 11: Holly Chapter 12: Emma Chapter 13: Kim Chapter 14: Holly Chapter 15: Kim Chapter 16: Emma Chapter 17: Holly Chapter 18: Emma Chapter 19: Kim Chapter 20: Holly Chapter 21: Emma Chapter 22: Kim Chapter 23: Holly Chapter 24: Emma Chapter 25: Emma Chapter 26: Kim Chapter 27: Holly Chapter 28: Emma Chapter 29: Kim Chapter 30: Emma Chapter 31: Emma Chapter 32: Holly Chapter 33: Kim Chapter 34: Kim Chapter 35: Emma Chapter 36: Holly Chapter 37: Six Months Later – Holly Chapter 38: Emma Acknowledgements (#litres_trial_promo) Extract (#litres_trial_promo) Dear Reader … (#litres_trial_promo) Keep Reading … (#litres_trial_promo) About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo) To Stacey. Always in my thoughts. Forever in my heart. Chapter 1 (#u9d7b95e2-013e-58da-9a6b-b3f83cf53ebd) Holly (#u9d7b95e2-013e-58da-9a6b-b3f83cf53ebd) As Holly looked around, hypnotized by the scene in front of her, she had a good feeling about this trip. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t been to a pool party on holiday before; she’d been to dozens when she’d been in her early twenties. It was just she’d never been to Las Vegas before; the swimming pool was absolutely enormous, the sun blazing, music blasting, the place was heaving with young people and it was a twenty-four-hour party paradise. She felt so pleased that her college friend, Emma Langford, had chosen Vegas as her wedding destination. Holly being a single mother to two young children, it was exactly the kind of place the doctor ordered. The wedding was the perfect excuse to escape toddler tantrums for this oasis of indulgence. ‘Emma?’ Holly called out hesitantly, as she made her way over to the slender girl in the white bikini taking a selfie. The girl she was calling had her back to Holly and hadn’t heard her voice over the loud music. Holly knew Emma had lost tons of weight, but they hadn’t seen each other in six months. Was that really her? Emma turned round, her pretty face exploding into a huge smile. ‘Holly, you came!’ She laughed, gripping her in a tight hug, pushing her sunglasses back into her long, dark hair. ‘It’s so good to see you. I’m glad you found us okay, especially seeing as this place is so packed. Where’s Kim?’ she questioned, suddenly noticing that Holly was alone. ‘She’s taking a nap in the hotel room,’ Holly explained. They’d only landed about two hours ago and her best friend, Kim, had felt too tired to venture out. Kim was also a mother to two children: Mylo who was three, and Willow, nine months. They were a similar age to Holly’s children, Lottie and Jacob. Kim had been more excited about catching up on some sleep than anything else and had sprawled out the moment they got into the hotel room and discovered their giant beds. ‘I’m hoping Kim will come out later. You look amazing, Emma, honestly, absolutely stunning. I hardly recognize you,’ Holly told her earnestly, her eyes sweeping up and down in admiration. ‘I can’t believe you have nearly half a million followers on Instagram now too; it’s absolutely amazing. You must be so proud of yourself.’ Emma was a lifestyle blogger; Holly often checked out her page, lusting over the exotic trips abroad Emma posted about. It had all started with Emma sharing an image of her weight loss and after gaining thousands of followers during her journey, her page had since changed to her general lifestyle. Emma posted about everything: from her new outfit, to the food she was eating or her latest make-up routine. Her Instagram page followers continued to increase, and at a rapid rate too. Emma’s images were flawless and aspirational. Sometimes Holly couldn’t believe Emma was the same person as the plus-size, curvy teen from college she’d met all those years ago. She appeared to have the dream life and was now making a career just from posting on social media; it was quite incredible and Holly was so happy for her friend who used to have such low self-esteem. Emma was now tiny, Holly realized, astonished by her transformation; she guessed she was now a size eight or maybe even a six. Holly was aware she’d lost even more weight since she’d last seen her, judging by her Instagram feed, but she had always imagined Emma had tweaked her images a little. Taken them from a flattering angle and perhaps added a filter or adjusted the lighting. But here Emma was, looking every bit as polished as she did in her posts. Her hair was glossy, her skin was glowing and Holly couldn’t take her eyes off Emma’s toned abs. It was almost impossible to remember what Emma had looked like when she’d been a size eighteen. Like when your children grew up and you forgot the memories of them being a newborn baby; Holly simply couldn’t imagine it. ‘Thank you,’ Emma replied, her cheeks reddening with the compliment. ‘I wouldn’t have been able to do any of it without Charlie though. He’s always helped manage my Instagram page and somehow my followers have climbed to half a million. It’s been such a mad year. Having a fianc? who is a personal trainer has obviously helped me get into shape, and the wedding has been the motivation I needed too,’ she explained before changing the subject. ‘That’s a shame about Kim, but perhaps she just needs a bit of rest after the long flight. Come, let me introduce you to some of the others.’ Emma introduced Holly to some of her friends lying on the large round sun-bed next to her and she was pleased to see some familiar faces when she noticed Fran and Danni, two girls from college, were also there. She’d never met Charlie, but Holly felt as though she already knew him just from Emma’s Instagram. It was strange feeling as though you knew someone just from seeing them on social media. He too, looked every bit as perfect as Emma often displayed, and flashed Holly a warm, welcoming grin. ‘This is Frankie, Charlie’s cousin,’ Emma introduced the man next to Charlie. ‘He practically lives with us back home,’ Emma laughed good-naturedly, ‘we can’t seem to get rid of him. He’s like part of the furniture.’ Frankie shot Emma a mock-offended look. ‘You don’t complain when I’m cooking the dinner,’ he chuckled. ‘To be fair, he’s an amazing cook,’ Emma flashed him a natural smile. ‘You’ve been a massive help with the wedding too,’ she added sweetly, ‘even more than Charlie I’d say.’ She raised her eyebrows at her fianc?, but it was clear to see that Emma wasn’t really bothered. ‘Hey, I’ve done loads of organizing,’ Charlie retorted without conviction. ‘Frankie’s just better than me at planning things, that’s all,’ he shrugged, ‘he seems to like all the girly stuff.’ Frankie elbowed him playfully. ‘Come, let’s go to the bar and get a drink,’ Emma suggested to Holly merrily, ‘we have so much to catch up on.’ Holly felt a buzz of excitement as she followed Emma. She hadn’t drunk alcohol in the daytime for ages. It felt rebellious and completely alien to her. It was hardly a regular occurrence since she’d become a parent and she felt so free having no children to think about while she was here. No noses to wipe, faces to clean or nappies to change; Holly was determined to enjoy every second and appreciate just thinking about herself for once. This was so far from her usual Wednesday afternoons at Lottie’s swimming lesson, chasing after Jacob as he toddled closer and closer towards the swimming pool and trying to feed him as many snacks as possible to keep him occupied. ‘Thanks so much for coming all the way out here for my wedding,’ Emma said, looking grateful as they ordered some cocktails. ‘I know it’s not exactly close to home and it must be difficult for you with the children. How are they? I haven’t seen them for ages. We must start making sure we meet up more often when we get back,’ she said guiltily. ‘Definitely,’ Holly agreed. Before she and Kim had become parents, they used to see Emma all the time. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that they didn’t spend as much time together any more; it was just one of those things. Their lives had gone in different directions. Kim and Holly often met at the local park or farm with their children, while Emma was extremely busy enjoying her successful career. They’d invited Emma out a few times, but Holly wasn’t surprised that Emma had turned their invite down for whatever reason; Holly couldn’t imagine she would want to spend time at a soft play if she didn’t have kids. Their nights out seemed to have stopped as soon as Holly and Kim had become pregnant, and Holly couldn’t even remember the last time they all went out together and had fun like they used to. It was so difficult getting Kim to agree to do something in the evenings without the children, and Holly guessed she’d since just given up asking. Kim was such a worrier. She hated leaving her children alone, even if her husband, Andy, or her mum was watching them. They did need to make much more of an effort though and Holly vowed she would in future. She didn’t even know the man that Emma was marrying; it had been far too long. She couldn’t resist smiling as she thought of her children. It certainly wasn’t easy caring for two little people all the time, especially now that she and their father, Rob, had split up, but she loved her children more than anything. They were the one thing she was really proud of. ‘They’re good,’ Holly replied. ‘They’re staying with my mum for a few days and then Rob is picking them up. He has a new girlfriend now,’ she explained, still unsure how she felt about another woman being around her children. It was still so fresh and raw. ‘He told me the day you sent your wedding invites out.’ ‘Oh wow, really? I was just about to ask how you two are getting on now you’re not together any more. Have you met her? I guess it must be so strange.’ Emma gazed at Holly, her voice laced with sympathy. Holly nodded. She and Rob had split up eight months before, and Holly had only seen Emma once, just after it happened. Jacob had only been five months old and had been teething when Emma had come over to see how Holly was doing, and it had been difficult to talk while bouncing a grisly baby on her knee. Emma didn’t really know much detail about the split at all. She thought back to that day Rob had told her all about his new girlfriend. Kim had been over that afternoon and they had been discussing Emma’s wedding after both receiving invites that day. Holly had been bursting with excitement at the aspect of going to Vegas, but Kim had been reluctant, unhappy about leaving her children to fly halfway across the world. Holly wasn’t sure she wanted to go without Kim, so she told herself it probably wasn’t going to happen and she hadn’t even been thinking about it when Rob knocked that evening to collect the children. They had come to the agreement that he would take them every Thursday night as well as every other weekend. It had always felt so weird letting Rob into the house they once shared together as though he was just a visitor. He no longer let himself in using the front door key, calling out her name so she knew he had arrived back. Instead, he waited until Holly answered the door; something they’d never actually discussed but just something Rob started doing when he moved out. It was the polite thing to do. It was so Rob. Holly was pleased they still respected each other and hadn’t fallen out. She prided herself on the fact that she was friends with the ex; she wasn’t one of those women who sent bitter text messages and used their children as a weapon. They were mature and grown up about it. They put their children first. Holly thought back to how she handed Rob a bag with the kids’ things in, wondering why he was acting so distracted. Questioning why he looked so nervous. ‘Erm, I need to speak to you,’ he said, suddenly sounding serious. ‘Right, okay,’ Holly had replied, her brow furrowed. She’d told Lottie and Jacob to go fetch their teddies from the other room so they could be alone and she’d stared at Rob in wonderment, assuming it was going to be about whether he could switch weekends or something trivial. ‘Speak away.’ Rob bit his lip looking a bit unsure of himself. His nostrils flared and she could feel the tension emanating from him. ‘Errr … I just wanted to tell you that I’ve met someone,’ he stated, looking ill at ease. ‘She’s called Nikki.’ He was never great in uncomfortable situations. She remembered once when she’d made him question the gardener about charging too much or the time they’d gone into a sex shop together to buy her some new underwear at the start of their relationship and the sales assistant asked him if he needed any help – he simply couldn’t make eye contact, shifted on the spot and kept clearing his throat as though it would clear his awkwardness. Looking at him with his flushed cheeks, Holly had almost felt sorry for him. That was, if his words hadn’t felt like he’d slapped her hard across the face. She always thought if Rob met someone else, then she would guess long before he told her. She knew him so well, she thought herself wise enough to see the telltale signs. When they’d first became a couple, he couldn’t stop smiling. He couldn’t even ask her if she wanted a drink without a huge grin on his face. Like the cat that got the cream. When he woke up, he would turn to face her with this look on his face. As though he couldn’t quite believe that she was there. He couldn’t believe his luck. He had made her feel like the most precious, loved person in the whole entire world. So for him to stand in front of her telling her he had met someone else had been a complete shock. Holly realized then that she hadn’t been expecting Rob to meet someone so soon. ‘That’s nice,’ Holly managed to say, forcing her voice to sound bright. Her face felt hot and she knew it wasn’t because it was a humid summer’s evening. She was irritated that she hadn’t been prepared for this and also at herself for not feeling as relaxed about it as she always told herself she would be. She felt a shot of betrayal, even though she knew it was silly, and was slightly embarrassed. Holly hadn’t met anyone since they’d split up. She hadn’t so much as had a flirty conversation with someone of the opposite sex. Not even a harmless text message. It just wasn’t a priority of hers. She had her friends, family and children and that was the most important thing. Rob had then proceeded to say that Nikki wanted to meet her. Holly couldn’t deny it was the mature and sensible thing to do, seeing as Rob wanted to introduce her to their children. As soon as Holly had agreed, his awkwardness had melted away as quickly as an ice cube on a hot summer’s day. Instead, it was Holly left there feeling anxious. ‘Where did you meet her? How old is she?’ Holly enquired, unable to suppress her curiousness. He gave a light laugh, looking happy. There was the expression she hadn’t seen in years and Holly knew at that point it was serious. This wasn’t just a casual fling – Rob had fallen in love. It was a strange situation, but Holly was pleased for him. She would always have a special place in her heart for Rob. ‘Online. I know you’ll find that quite sad, but trust me she’s a nice girl. She’s twenty-five. She’s not a weirdo or anything; she’s actually training to be a doctor. You’ll like her, I’m certain of it.’ ‘I have something to tell you too, actually.’ The words had just come tumbling out of her mouth impulsively. What was she saying? She hadn’t thought any of it through, but it was at that moment that Holly decided she was going to Emma’s wedding. Rob could have his doctor and she would have Vegas. For some reason she didn’t want him to be the only one with some important news to share that day. ‘Okay?’ He looked at her questioningly. ‘I’m going to Vegas for Emma’s wedding,’ Holly told him boldly. She was going with or without Kim. She wasn’t sure if there were any other people she knew attending the wedding, but Holly would be just fine going alone. She liked to think herself as a friendly, innocuous person who didn’t have any problems socializing all by herself. Life was too short and she deserved some fun. Rob was clearly enjoying himself with Nikki and now it was her turn to have a break away and think about herself for once. She’d been pleasantly surprised when Kim had announced the following day that she would join her. Memories of that day faded as Holly focused on Emma’s concerned expression in front of her as she explained what had happened, taking a sip of her frozen strawberry daquiri the barman had just handed her. ‘So I met Nikki before I came out here, and she’s actually really nice,’ she said truthfully. It had been impossible not to like Nikki. She wasn’t drop-dead gorgeous, but she was attractive in her own way. She had beautiful hazel eyes, flecked with amber and green (the kind Rob would have called interesting) and a perfect smile (Holly could imagine she took great photos). She was just so nice. Holly had been terrified she would hate Nikki. What if she didn’t get on with her children? It was a worrying thought that there would be another person playing ‘‘Mummy" to Lottie and Jacob when she wasn’t around. She’d been worried she’d be envious of her young, toned, stretch mark-free body. She didn’t want to resent the fact that she and Rob could go out for dinner whenever it suited them. Or to the cinema. They had time to be alone without having to watch children’s programmes like Bing and Mr Tumble. But Holly had felt relieved when it hadn’t been like that at all. Nikki’s happy, breezy nature was contagious. Holly could just imagine her giving money to charity every month and volunteering in a soup kitchen on Christmas Day. Nikki was understanding and inoffensive. Deep down Holly knew she was very lucky if this was her ex-partner’s new girlfriend. Holly instantly trusted her and felt comfortable that her children would be in her presence. Nikki had told her she loved kids and had been excited about getting to know Lottie and Jacob; she’d even gone out to buy them small gifts. ‘I actually really liked her. She’s mature for a twenty-five-year-old and she couldn’t wait to meet the children. She was so easy to get on with and I can see that she and Rob make a great couple. They seem so much better suited than Rob and I ever were.’ ‘You’re handling things great,’ Emma said sincerely. ‘I can’t imagine many people like their ex’s new girlfriend. I think it’s fantastic if you can be friends.’ ‘Yes, I really hope we can,’ Holly replied truthfully. ‘Anyway, tell me about the wedding,’ she said eagerly, not wanting to talk all about herself. ‘What’s the dress like? Or are you keeping it a secret?’ ‘Charlie sorted a hire company for me and they’ve leant me one for free providing I tag them in my wedding posts,’ she explained. ‘I’ll show you a photo; it’s so pretty,’ she said, clicking on her mobile and flicking through her images. ‘Wow, Em, that’s so good. I can’t believe you haven’t had to pay for your wedding dress,’ Holly said, incredulous. ‘Charlie has managed to get free suit hires for all the men too; I’m really lucky to have him,’ she explained, flashing Holly the image of a stunning ivory, backless gown. ‘He’s been great at getting all the free stuff. I still have a few things to do though before the wedding, so I wondered if you and Kim wanted to come along to help me pick things? I’m so indecisive about this kind of thing.’ ‘Of course. Anything to help, you know that. Your dress is stunning,’ she said, her mouth popping open as she took Emma’s phone to get a closer look. The material looked so delicate and expensive; it would mould to Emma’s slender figure beautifully. It was the kind of dress that Holly would steer well clear of due to an unforgiving tummy area. Since having children, the idea of a flat stomach seemed like a thing of the past; Holly was fine with this though. Personally she’d rather go out with her kids for pizza and ice-cream as a treat without worrying about her bikini body. It just wasn’t as important now. ‘Thanks Holly. Let’s go in the pool for a bit,’ she replied, walking ahead. ‘I just want everything to be absolutely impeccable, you know?’ Holly nodded. She worked with brides all the time being a hair stylist. Her diary was pretty much fully booked for the rest of the year and she’d offered to do Emma’s wedding hair for her on the big day. It had been Edna, Holly’s mother, who had suggested taking some time out of her diary in the summer for a break from work, so Holly had made sure she’d left some time where she hadn’t booked any weddings in. Holly was grateful she’d listened or she wouldn’t have managed to get to Vegas. Being booked up for weddings seemed to dictate her life. ‘It’s normal to want a faultless day; I think all brides feel like that,’ she told her reassuringly. As they reached the pool, Emma smiled thinly as she placed her drink on the side of the pool. ‘It has to be perfect. It’s what everyone expects of me. I can’t let them all down.’ Holly looked at Emma oddly and just before she could respond, Emma dunked her body into the water and swam off. Chapter 2 (#u9d7b95e2-013e-58da-9a6b-b3f83cf53ebd) Holly (#u9d7b95e2-013e-58da-9a6b-b3f83cf53ebd) Holly didn’t know which way to look as the taxi drove down the strip to the Planet Hollywood Hotel where they were staying. Her eyes darted from one grand hotel to another, the strip shimmering mesmerizingly, promising excitement and entertainment. Holly was fascinated by the bright lights flashing everywhere she looked. There seemed to be so much going on. It was a place for non-stop adventures, exactly like in films and it felt surreal that she was actually there. The taxi pulled into the hotel and Holly was delighted to reach the icy breeze of the air-conditioning again. The heat outside was stifling and Holly could feel sweat at the nape of her neck; there wasn’t even the slightest breeze. She was meeting Emma and the others in a few hours for drinks and she was hoping that Kim would be joining them. Surely she didn’t want to stay in the room for the rest of the day? She knew Kim felt tired and jet-lagged, but they weren’t in Vegas for long and Holly really felt as though they should be making the most of it. Kim was sitting up in bed in her silky pyjamas watching the large television when Holly walked back into the room. ‘Hey, how you feeling?’ Holly asked her. ‘The pool parties here are incredible. You really should have come along,’ she told her, ‘we’re going to have the best time.’ Kim stretched out lazily on the bed. ‘I haven’t actually been to sleep,’ she said, ‘I’ve just been chilling out and watching a film. Bliss. I can’t remember the last time I actually watched a film without being interrupted by something.’ Holly couldn’t remember the last time she’d watched a film that wasn’t a Disney one. Even when her children were finally asleep she found she was always doing something round the house. Usually tidying up the toy room or catching up on washing. It seemed there was always something that needed doing when you became a parent. Holly perused the room-service menu. ‘Ooh, let’s order champagne,’ she said, her eyes gleaming as she ran her finger down the menu, ‘to get us in the mood for this evening.’ Kim looked unsure. ‘I’m not sure I’m feeling up to it.’ Her eyes flicked over to the digital clock. ‘It’s two in the morning. in London right now.’ ‘So?’ Holly replied ebulliently, ‘when has that ever stopped us before? It’s not like we have the children with us, is it? Emma said we’re all meeting at a bar in Caesars Palace tonight, but that’s not for another hour or so.’ Kim yawned. ‘Oh really? I might give tonight a miss, you know. I’d just like a quiet one to catch up on sleep. That sounds much more appealing than drinking in a bar; I still feel so tired.’ Holly felt a surge of disappointment. She loved her friend with all her heart, but since she’d had children, Kim had really changed. They hadn’t been out in ages and she’d so been looking forward to Vegas and spending quality time with her best friend like they used to. She had hoped that without the children, she’d be the old, fun Kim again, instead of this sensible, unenthusiastic new version. Some days Holly wondered what had happened to Kim. Kim had never been the maternal one out of the two of them. She’d always turned her nose up at the thought of having children, saying that she enjoyed her own life too much to give it up for someone else. ‘I think I’m more of an animal person,’ she’d once said, after they’d been to visit a friend’s baby. ‘I’d much prefer to hold a kitten or puppy than a baby.’ It had been Holly who had been more interested in babies, excited when someone had a newborn she could cuddle and really looking forward to having her own one day. She’d always had lots of younger cousins and had four younger nephews who she doted on. But Kim? Kim hadn’t even planned on having Mylo; it had just happened (a slip-up, she’d said) and then everything had changed. Just like that. It was as though Kim had had a personality transplant, suddenly obsessed with babies and children, wondering how many she could fit in before she hit forty. She suddenly stopped wanting to go out any more. Kim had always been the fun one too. Even since Holly had met Kim at school when they were five, she’d been the mischievous, wild one. The one to get Holly told off for talking in class, encouraging Holly to try her first cigarette and can of cider, and the one to get Holly to stay out until six. even though she had work the next day. Holly would always wake up with a hangover from hell when she went out with Kim, that was a given. There had never been a dull moment with Kim around and that’s why Holly had always loved her. Holly had always been the organized, tidy and sensible one , whereas Kim was much more laid-back, rarely thinking about the consequences of her actions. Holly adored Kim, they would always be the best of friends, but she couldn’t help but miss the spontaneity she’d had before having children, and she hoped that it was just because it was the first night that she was taking it easy. ‘You sure you won’t come out?’ Holly asked hopefully, already knowing the answer. Kim flapped her hand in Holly’s direction. ‘No, you go though. Don’t miss out just because of me.’ ‘Are you certain you don’t want me to stay in with you?’ Holly offered kindly. She didn’t want to stay in and had already told Emma she would go out, but she knew she should offer like a good friend would. Holly would do anything for her best friend; so if Kim had wanted her to stay in, watch a film and order room service, she would have done. She honestly couldn’t believe that Kim didn’t want to go out and meet the others though. ‘No, I promise it’s fine,’ Kim said, turning to her and smiling. ‘I’ll probably be snoring as soon as my head hits the pillow.’ Holly nodded, shooting Kim a rueful smile. ‘I wonder how Andy will cope with the kids all alone,’ Kim said, her mind clearly still back home. ‘I’ll call him as soon as I wake up tomorrow and check he’s okay. I’m sure he won’t go wrong, seeing as I pretty much left him instructions on every little thing, will he?’ Kim just couldn’t seem to relax and switch off like Holly could. ‘He’ll be fine. Andy’s such a good dad,’ Holly reassured her. ‘I can’t imagine him ever doing anything wrong.’ Kim smiled, but Holly noticed it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Assuming she was tired, she ignored it, and went to have a shower before getting ready to go out. Chapter 3 (#u9d7b95e2-013e-58da-9a6b-b3f83cf53ebd) Emma (#u9d7b95e2-013e-58da-9a6b-b3f83cf53ebd) Emma couldn’t believe this was the week she was getting married. She was actually going to be Charlie’s wife. She still felt far too young to be doing something so grown up, despite being thirty-three. It was strange how her body just kept getting older, even though her brain still didn’t feel any different from when she was twenty-one. It was scary and she really wished that time would just slow down. It had been Emma’s decision to marry in Vegas and as she glanced out of her balcony at the lively strip and the vibrant colours from the hotels, she felt it was the right choice. There was so much to do and see and she knew that all her guests were going to have fun. Everyone had made such a big effort to get all the way there; it was important to Emma that they enjoyed it. It was bright and sunny too, with temperatures in the high thirties; there definitely wasn’t going to be any worry about it raining on her wedding day. Despite being so hot outside, it was never far to escape the heat and cool down in the air-conditioned hotels; it went from one extreme to another. Emma had never wanted a huge white wedding. She hardly spoke to her parents who had retired and moved to Gran Canaria. She wasn’t particularly surprised when her mother told her on the phone there was no way they could travel all that way due to her father’s arthritis, even for their only daughter. As soon as Emma had got herself a job and been able to afford to rent an apartment, it had seemed like they couldn’t wait to get away and move abroad. ‘The sun will do your father’s joints the world of good,’ Emma recalled her mother saying. ‘You can come visit whenever you want.’ Emma would only see them if she made the effort though; her parents hadn’t once been back to the UK since they moved and Emma couldn’t deny that it hurt. How could they care so little about their only child? Emma didn’t have a large family that wanted to see her get married. Not that she would have wanted anything fancy anyway. Despite what people thought of her due to her career posting pictures of herself, she actually hated all the attention. When she went to university, she had purposely picked courses where she wouldn’t have to do presentations; the thought of everyone staring at her was enough to make her palms go clammy and her stomach knot with nerves. A quick, low-key wedding was much more her style. Less pressure. She’d only been with Charlie for two years and hadn’t wanted the hassle of planning her big day for months and months on end. Truth be told, the plan was to just get the wedding over with and start trying for a baby. All Emma really longed for was a family of her own. It was strange – she always thought she’d be married with a few children by now. She wasn’t so bothered about the marriage part, but not having children was unthinkable for Emma. Emma adored children and imagined there was no way in the world she would ever leave them and move country, even when they had grown up. Her own mother had left it late in life, having a baby at forty-three, having had a successful career as a solicitor. Her parents were always so serious and strict. Holidays were no fun, she had nobody to swap clothes with and she could never join in when her friends complained about being bossed around by their elder siblings. She would have loved to have been bossed around. She wouldn’t have cared if her sister took her shoes and never gave them back. It would have beat being alone all the time. Emma wanted to have at least two children and as much as she hated to say it, she did worry slightly that she might have issues getting pregnant if she left it any later. A woman’s fertility was supposed to halve by thirty-five, and that was only a couple of years away. Her friend, Kirsty, had recently had to go through IVF, the reason she wasn’t able to make the wedding, and Emma’s cousin’s wife, Lisa, had also just announced she’d had a second failed round of fertility treatment; it seemed to be coming more and more common for women to get struggle to pregnant. She really hoped it would happen easily for her, although she’d already decided that if it didn’t, she’d love to adopt. There was nothing wrong with it, but she really didn’t want to be a first-time mother in her forties like her mother. She’d always wanted to be a fun, energetic mother. She imagined going cycling in the park with her children. She didn’t want to be one of those mothers who didn’t understand the latest app her children were using. She didn’t want her kids to snigger when she asked them how to do something online. Emma wanted to be young enough to still be a fairly cool parent. Emma applied some lip gloss and slipped on a sparkly, strappy silver dress. She ran her fingers across the textured fabric of the dress, which moulded perfectly to her slender figure. She was down to a size eight now. If someone had told her three years ago when she was struggling to get into a size eighteen she would be buying a size eight wedding dress, she would have laughed at them. She wasn’t one of those women who pretended she was were happier being larger; she would always have preferred to be slimmer, but the truth was, Emma had just been happy enjoying life and her weight crept up over the years. She loved food. She adored all things bad for her, laden with calories and sugar, and often found herself polishing off a bottle of wine or two after work several times a week. If she wanted to drink a litre bottle of coke, if that was what she’d fancied, she didn’t think twice about it. A couple of chocolate doughnuts after lunch? No problem. She hadn’t been hurting anyone, had she? She couldn’t deny that she’d had low self-esteem and the problem was, when she felt down about herself, she ate to make herself feel better. It had been a vicious cycle. She certainly hadn’t loved her wobbly thighs and flabby tummy, but she always managed to cover herself in loose black trousers for work (she had worked for an accountancy firm in London) and she’d always felt that if she just ignored her size, then it didn’t really matter. It wasn’t as though she had trouble dating; men often said what a lovely face she had, but looking back she realized they rarely mentioned her body. One day, Emma’s trouser button had popped off at work and she had to ask for a safety pin. As she saw her colleague’s Sue’s pitying glance as she handed one over, something came over her. Emma had had enough. She was fed up of constantly being out of breath just walking up the stairs at work. She suddenly felt embarrassed by the fact she seemed to sweat when she’d so much as lifted a finger. She wanted to feel confident in her skin. She went home that night and did a bit of research after Sue insisted she try a weight-loss group that she’d heard about. ‘Barbara Seeley lost three stone on it,’ she’d told her enthusiastically. Emma was also keen to lose a bit of weight for health reasons. You couldn’t listen to the radio or sit in a waiting room without the risks constantly being shoved in your face. Emma didn’t want diabetes, high blood pressure or a stroke. ‘I think it’s a great idea to try it. They do meetings,’ Sue had encouraged. ‘I could lose a bit too, why don’t we try it together?’ Emma had gasped when their scales revealed she was thirteen stone three pounds. It had taken two years to lose five stone with the help of her weight-loss group and Emma was proud of herself. Everyone was. She was no longer bigger than the women she walked past in the street. She was no longer embarrassed to be seen treating herself to a cake. Losing weight had been the start of a new career, not that she’d known that at the time. After her first month at the weight-loss group, Emma had lost ten pounds and was spurred on further when her name was called out as being achiever of the month. She’d felt a sense of satisfaction. Then after several months she stopped losing as much weight and couldn’t hide her frustration when she’d been eating so well. That was when a red-haired lady, Paula, who also attended the group, had pulled her to one side. Emma had noticed her earlier on, as she was probably the slimmest woman in the group and she’d found herself wondering whether Paula really needed to be there. ‘You’re still going in the right direction, don’t be disheartened,’ she’d beamed encouragingly. ‘Not to put a downer on things, but it does get harder to lose as much weight as when you first started, the longer you diet,’ Paula told her sagely. ‘If you want to really change shape and drop even more dress sizes, join a gym. The gym I go to has a special offer on at the moment. Here, let me give you the number if you’re interested. I have a personal trainer, his name’s Charlie. He’s fantastic.’ Emma hadn’t been too sure about the gym at first. She had assumed it would be full of vain, muscular men looking in the mirrors as they lifted weights and petite women in tiny crop tops. She was more keen on continuing to focus on what she ate. It was all about eating a healthy balance; with her diet plan, she could still eat pretty much whatever she wanted to. Just in moderation. A slice of cake instead of stuffing herself with the whole thing. A glass of juice instead of the entire carton. No food was off limits, but Emma was only allowed a certain amount of calories a day, so she had to choose wisely. She liked the fact she had control over what she ate. She actually enjoyed the discipline and it had suited her down to the ground. That was how she began blogging. Emma had never really been happy working at the accountancy firm in London. It paid the bills, but she never really enjoyed the job. She always had that Sunday night dread, a twisted, uneasy feeling when she thought about going back to work the next day. Her job simply hadn’t fulfilled her; in fact, it had been nothing but boring and the only thing Emma had liked was socializing with her work colleagues; London nightlife had appealed to her immensely. Emma had always wanted to try something different, but she honestly didn’t know what she wanted to do. She never had. She hadn’t planned to be a lifestyle blogger and she never realized how much money she could make doing something so simple. After losing a stone, Emma had decided to take a before and after photo and post it on her Instagram page. She’d glammed herself up a bit for her after photo, and took the image on her father’s professional Canon camera. It was only a stone she’d lost, but the difference between her before and after looked amazing and she’d even braved it by wearing a bikini in each picture. She just looked so much happier and healthier in the second image and her body was starting to take shape. She remembered taking a deep breath before posting the image. She’d just been on the way to the gym for the first time, the one Suzie had recommended, when she did it, and she’d left her phone in her locker for an hour while she did a yoga class. Emma had been confused at first when she saw a dozen notifications on her phone, wondering what it was all about. But as she clicked on her Instagram page, she was startled by the huge response she’d had to her post. She’d had one hundred and twenty likes, with so many people complimenting her. Well done, Em! You look incredible! Wow! Such great results. Where is your bikini from Emma? Love the colour on you. She’d even had a couple of private messages. Hi Emma. Do you mind telling me what diet you’re doing? one had asked. Do you have any tips for me? another girl had asked. The messages and huge response had given Emma a buzz of excitement she’d never felt before. She felt important somehow. Special even. She loved the fact that she might actually help people and even inspire them to go on a health kick too. A few days after she’d posted her weight-loss image, she decided to go back to the gym, this time to meet Charlie for a personal training session. The yoga class had given her the boost she needed. Emma had really enjoyed it; no-one was judging her like she thought they would, and everyone had seemed really friendly. There were women of all shapes and sizes there and she decided to overcome her fears and go for a one-on-one session. Emma had still been nervous, especially when she noticed how perfect Charlie looked. But he’d made her feel at ease right away. Charlie was a fantastic trainer and always made Emma feel comfortable, encouraging her to do that extra push-up or extra minute on the treadmill, pushing her just that little bit further than she thought she’d ever be able to go. In between breaks, they spoke about themselves. Charlie was interesting, and he seemed to want to get to know more about her too; he wasn’t someone who just spoke about himself all the time. Emma discovered he was trying to get into fitness modelling, but was working as a personal trainer until he got his break. Emma had started to look forward to their chats; Charlie asked her general things such as what she was doing the weekend, what she did for work etc. It was during one of these chats after having a few sessions with Charlie that she mentioned that she was posting blogs about her journey on Instagram. ‘Oh yeah?’ he asked interestedly, ‘what’s your account name? I’ll follow you too,’ he said. Emma had felt a little flustered as she told him, knowing he’d be able to see her ‘before’ bikini image, but Charlie had been nothing but supportive and impressed. ‘Wow, you’ve got quite a lot of followers, you know,’ he’d said admirably. ‘You should keep going. Make sure you post something every day. People are clearly interested. Some people make a fortune from Instagram; it’s worth a shot, hey?’ ‘It’s hard to believe people really want to follow me,’ Emma said modestly. ‘Why would they not?’ Charlie had asked her. ‘You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You’re an attractive girl, Emma, and you’re doing something that shows willpower and determination. I bet there’re loads of girls who follow you that would love to lose weight or just shape up a bit. They want to know how you did it and if you’re encouraging people to live a healthier lifestyle, then good for you. Don’t underestimate yourself.’ Emma had held his penetrating gaze. She felt a surge of encouragement. He was right – why wouldn’t people want to follow her? So she posted another image straight after their session to show people her continuing changing body. She gained extra followers immediately and she couldn’t wait to post something else. It became addictive. She began to take an interest in other successful Instagram accounts. She looked at what they were posting and the type of photos that seemed to attract more followers. Before Emma knew it, she was buying new clothes to suit her slimmer shape and taking selfies. Gradually, her Instagram stopped being just about her weight-loss journey and her everyday life. It had been Charlie’s idea to start tagging brands in her images to get their attention. Emma began to realize it wasn’t the only attention she was getting. Charlie had begun to message her privately on her Instagram account. At first, it was just about training. Helpful tips and some low-fat recipes he’d tried. But not long afterwards, his messages began to get a bit more flirtatious and before Emma knew it, she began to like Charlie as more than just a trainer. It was clear he felt the same too. She’d always thought that someone like him was out of her league. ‘I got a message from a gym-wear company asking if they could send me some outfits for free if I tag them on my page,’ she’d told Charlie on their first date at a restaurant. ‘It all feels so strange receiving things for free.’ ‘That’s great,’ he’d said passionately. ‘I’ve got some great ideas how you can get other things too. The more followers you have, the easier it is and you seem to just continue to get more and more.’ ‘Really?’ Emma didn’t have any idea where to even start. ‘Of course. I’ll help you if you want? I like you, Emma,’ he told her without hesitation, taking her hand across the table. ‘Ever since I met you, I’ve started to fall for you.’ Emma felt her face suffuse with colour and her heart thump wildly in her chest. ‘I feel the same,’ she replied timidly. After that first date, they became a couple. Emma would join Charlie on his morning workouts and they would train together. They met after work and spent any free time they had as well as the weekends together. Usually they were training, cooking healthy meals or visiting new places, always taking images for Emma’s Instagram. Charlie created a new email account for her page, and he dealt with any queries when Emma was too busy. Emma began to earn good money. The first thing she was asked to do was promote a clothing brand. She was given her own code, so her followers could receive a discount and Emma got a percentage every time someone made an order using her code. It had been the easiest way Emma had ever made money, and she decided to treat Charlie to their first holiday together to Bali. It was the least she could do seeing as he’d helped her achieve so much, both with her figure and career. Charlie had taken tons of photos: one of Emma pretending to meditate in front of Mount Agung, a volcano, one of her in front of a waterfall laughing, one of her with her back to the camera by an infinity pool. The responses continued to come flooding in. Oh my God, I love your dress. Where is it from? Can I ask what foundation you use? Where did you get your bag? I need this! Posting to her Instagram became a daily ritual. Even if Emma was only going for a coffee she’d get a photo, a fake image of her scanning the menu or a sultry pout looking into the distance as she shopped in London. Her inbox was always full of people wanting to know what camera she used or what her favourite highlighter was. It became so crazy that Charlie suggested Emma start an online blog which she linked to her Instagram page. Before she knew it, she had more and more freebies starting to come her way. She was constantly being sent free make-up, clothes and swimwear. So long as she posted about it, companies wanted her to use their products. Emma became obsessed with social media, gaining more followers and likes. Trips away started to become about taking photos, rather than actually enjoying herself and there had been times when Emma had to remind herself why she was doing it. When she became a bit too obsessed with it, Emma gave herself a few days off. Charlie was always enthusiastic to start with, taking selfies of the two of them and suggesting she posted a bit about their relationship to see if they could get any free weekend trips away. Charlie became a part of her account and her followers were always telling Emma how they were the perfect match. Their first freebie was a trip to Paris and Emma had to pinch herself over how well she was doing. ‘Hopefully this is the start of many more,’ Charlie had laughed, clinking champagne classes with her on the Eurostar as Emma filmed it for her latest story. Despite what people must have thought when they looked on her Instagram page, Emma didn’t want to appear like she was showing off, but she knew that in order to get the brand deals she had to be able to influence others. People had to want to buy her latest outfit, watch or lipstick she was wearing; it was the way she made her money. So she had to make herself look the best she possibly could. Emma just hoped that people would see past her flawless newsfeed, and understand that beneath it all she was just a normal, ordinary girl. She hated people who thought too highly of themselves, which was why she liked to sometimes post before and after images to show how far she had come. Emma hadn’t always been someone to envy or desire; Emma had once been a size eighteen woman, who was very self-conscious and insecure. Despite now being a trim size eight, Emma certainly didn’t love herself and she was very aware of how superficial and shallow social media could be. It was a fabricated world; Emma knew this. She wasn’t completely ignorant. Emma was brought back to the present when Charlie opened the bathroom door with a towel around his waist. Eyeing her up and down, he narrowed his eyes and his lips curved slightly upwards. ‘You look nice. Trying to impress someone?’ ‘Haha, very funny. You’re the only person I need to impress, and you’ve agreed to marry me,’ Emma replied light-heartedly. ‘When you’re dressed do you mind…’ ‘Taking a photo of you?’ Charlie interjected abruptly. ‘Of course.’ ‘Thanks,’ Emma smiled gratefully. She knew how much her photos had begun to annoy him. What he found so interesting at first, he now found tedious and dull. He didn’t mind as much when it was of the two of them; Charlie seemed to love the limelight, especially if he was sent free things. But it was mainly Emma who was earning good money through her lifestyle blogging, not only through the advertising on her website, but she was now signed up to several apps where she advertised the outfits she was wearing. She was doing better than she ever dreamed of and she was getting fed up with reminding Charlie that she wasn’t just taking photos because she enjoyed it. It was all part of her job and one that he had insisted she did when they’d first met. A job that he used to find fascinating. Emma stood on the balcony, looking out into the distance of the strip moments later; she knew the lighting was perfect and angled her head in a way she knew would look flattering on camera. ‘Done,’ Charlie said dryly, after a couple of clicks. ‘Do you mind just doing a few more please?’ Emma asked him politely. He knew as well as she did she usually needed lots of images to pick from. She sometimes took over a hundred, just to get that one special shot. Not that she was expecting him to take that many at that present moment. She knew she had no chance from the way he rolled his eyes. He sighed loudly as he took some more. ‘You may have to stop all this once we’re married you know,’ he stated moodily. ‘I’m not certain I can put up with sharing you with the world forever.’ Emma ignored him and did her best pose. Emma felt in good spirits an hour later when they met their friends at the bar in their hotel. She shot Holly a huge smile and hugged her as they met. ‘You look lovely. Is Kim too tired?’ she asked, noticing she wasn’t with her. Holly nodded. ‘All dressed in her pyjamas and ready for bed. I’m sure it’s just for tonight. By tomorrow she’ll be out and enjoying herself, especially seeing as it’s your hen night,’ Holly said enthusiastically, looking around the bar. ‘Wow, this place looks nice and so do you, Em. I love that dress,’ she complimented her. ‘I still cannot believe how much weight you’ve lost – you look incredible!’ ‘Thanks,’ Emma replied, feeling a flush of embarrassment yet again. She would never get used to compliments, no matter how hard she tried. ‘I was going to ask if you and Kim wanted to come to look at the flowers with me tomorrow?’ ‘We’d love to. Just text us the time and place and we’ll be there.’ ‘I will, and don’t worry, I won’t make it too early seeing as we’re drinking tonight. Speaking of which, shall we get some drinks? There’s more people out tonight for you to meet who weren’t at the pool today.’ Her eyes swivelled to Charlie’s cousin, Frankie, who was walking through a crowd of people staring at her. He shot her a smile, and Emma felt glad he was there as she wanted to talk to him about the car he was arranging for their wedding day. Frankie was so helpful like that; he was continuously offering Emma help to take the pressure off as Charlie hadn’t seemed to do much apart from arranging as much free stuff as possible. Emma was grateful for this, of course; it was fantastic that they were in such a lucky, privileged position to be gifted so many things, but it would have been nice if he was interested in helping organize some other things too. Frankie was always asking if there was anything he could do; Charlie was lucky to have such a thoughtful best man. ‘Hi,’ she mouthed to him, as Charlie slapped him hello on the back. ‘Let me get a photo of the bride and groom to be,’ Jason, one of Charlie’s friends, suggested over the music a few seconds later. ‘Here, take one on my camera,’ Emma offered, knowing her phone took great images, perfect for Instagram. She could do with updating her stories on Instagram; so many of her followers were keen to see her Vegas trip. They loved the photos she posted of her and Charlie. She was often seeing people write things under her images like #couplegoals. They really did think that she had the most perfect relationship. Charlie was more than happy to oblige and he stood next to her, placing his hand protectively on her lower back and gripping her just a little too tightly as they smiled into the lens. ‘That dress is actually a bit low, don’t you think?’ he muttered quietly. ‘You look like you’re flashing to everyone.’ As usual, Emma pushed the comment aside and focused on the photo they were taking, knowing how happy she and Charlie would look together. Her followers would swoon, believing that Emma was really lucky in love and was about to marry her dream man. That was the thing about social media: it was all one big, fat lie. Chapter 4 (#ulink_dadac695-edf2-50ec-b841-3f2e631d8898) Holly (#ulink_dadac695-edf2-50ec-b841-3f2e631d8898) Holly sipped her white wine, passing back Emma her gin and tonic after she’d taken her photo with Charlie. ‘Let me introduce you to the people you don’t know,’ Emma said kindly, tapping two women on the shoulder who were standing next to them. ‘This is Jenny and Stephanie who I used to work with.’ Holly smiled hello at them as Emma pointed at a group of four people by the bar. ‘The one in pink is my cousin, Gill, her husband, Doug, and I think you’ve met my friend Michelle and her boyfriend Peter at my thirtieth birthday drinks, didn’t you? I’m not sure if I told you that my parents won’t be coming?’ she smiled, but her eyes were shiny. ‘Oh no. Why not?’ Holly wondered. She felt sorry for her friend getting married without her parents there to watch, but she couldn’t say she was that surprised. Emma’s father was a stern man and her mother had always seemed cold and unaffectionate. ‘Dad’s arthritis is playing up badly, my mum told me; it would have been a bit much for them to fly all the way out here.’ It was a lame excuse and they both knew it. Holly remembered Emma complaining once that her parents had a different excuse every time Emma mentioned them returning to the UK to visit her. Arthritis was one of the usual excuses, but Emma often pointed out that her dad was always posting photos of himself playing golf with his friends on Facebook, so it couldn’t have been that bad. ‘That’s a shame, but like I said, anything you need help with, just ask. You’re right; I think I do recognize a few people here,’ Holly nodded, happy to see some more familiar faces. ‘Danni and Fran should be here soon,’ Emma explained as two men walked over and kissed her hello. Holly didn’t see them properly at first. ‘Do you remember Callum and Max from college too? Max is also a personal trainer and we’ve become great friends. Charlie works with him and Callum is their boss; he owns the gym they work at.’ Holly had to look twice at them before it actually dawned on her who these two were. They had been in the year above them at college and Holly hadn’t seen either of them since they left all those years ago. Max immediately caught her eye with his fierce smile, light brown eyes, dark hair and olive skin. He looked like he had impressive biceps underneath his tight fitted black shirt and she could only imagine his athletic body underneath. He was absolutely gorgeous and she instantly felt self-conscious in a way she hadn’t felt in a very long time. Callum was extremely attractive too, but with bright green eyes with fair hair, he wasn’t her usual type. Holly had always gone for tall, dark and handsome. They certainly hadn’t been as striking when they’d been at college as they were now. They’d both grown up. They were men now instead of lanky teenagers. ‘Hi,’ Max smiled, revealing immaculate teeth, ‘I think I remember you. Holly, right?’ he asked her confidently. ‘I vaguely recall you trying to set me up with your friend Kim once,’ he gave a light laugh, ‘but it never happened.’ ‘Ah yes, I think I remember,’ Holly said amicably. It was coming back to her now. It must have been one of the few times she’d ever spoken to Max. Kim had been going out with some idiot, Lee, who had been cheating on her. Holly had been in their local club and when she’d bumped into Max and they started chatting, she told him she was going to set him up with Kim. Kim hadn’t been there and it had just been an idea to attempt to separate her from Lee. It hadn’t happened though, because the next time Holly had spoken to Kim, she had told her she wasn’t interested in anyone else. She wanted to give Lee another chance. Their rocky relationship lasted about another six months after that and Max had been forgotten about. ‘Long time ago,’ Max noted. ‘Can I get you another drink?’ he offered, touching her shoulder lightly. Holly felt a fluttery feeling in her stomach. She had forgotten what it felt like. It both scared and enthralled her. This was a man she was interested in getting to know a bit more. This was a man she was attracted to. This rarely ever happened. Apart from when she’d first met Rob, Holly couldn’t think of the last time she’d actually fancied someone. ‘Yes please. A white wine please,’ she requested timidly, ‘if that’s okay.’ ‘My pleasure,’ Max grinned, before turning to Callum to take his order. It was at this point that Holly glanced at Max’s ring finger. It was bare, much to her delight. No news of a wife to disappoint her. That didn’t rule him out of being in a relationship of course. She decided to get some information about Max from Callum. He was clearly the quieter, more laid-back of the two, but he had a friendly, warm face. ‘So, are you both here with your girlfriends?’ Holly enquired in a nonchalant tone. ‘No, we’re both single,’ Callum replied. ‘We’ve both recently split with partners,’ he told her. He looked up at her inquisitively. ‘What about yourself?’ ‘Also single,’ Holly told him, flicking her hair behind her shoulders. ‘I split with my boyfriend about eight months ago. We have two children though.’ ‘Boys or girls?’ Callum asked, looking genuinely interested. ‘One of each,’ Holly replied, glancing over to Max who was just being served their drinks. She wondered if the fact she had children would put Max off. After all, it wasn’t just her now. Then again, perhaps he was a father too? ‘I have a five-year-old girl called Eva,’ Callum told her, smiling with pride. ‘Oh really? I’m hoping the tantrums stop by five?’ Holly laughed. ‘I hate to disappoint you,’ Callum said, a light laugh escaping his lips, ‘but no, not yet. In fact, I think they get worse. But maybe that’s just Eva.’ ‘Does Max have children too?’ Holly asked, her brow furrowing. Callum looked at Holly as though the thought amused him. ‘No, not Max. Max doesn’t have any children yet.’ Holly didn’t know whether this was a good or bad thing. She was glad Max was single, but perhaps he wouldn’t consider someone with children if he didn’t have any of his own? Holly came as a package. It was always going to be her plus two. Would it be hard to find someone willing to take on the three of them? Lottie was a handful at times and Jacob was still only a baby. Why was Holly even thinking about this when it had never bothered her before that men may be put off by extra baggage? She was perfectly fine on her own and had actually sworn to herself she didn’t ever want to rely on a man again, but she was starting to question whether she really did want to be single forever. Would she be lonely in years to come? Just seeing how happy Rob and Nikki were was making her question things. Her mother was always telling her that one day her children would grow up. One day they wouldn’t need her to clean their faces and brush their hair. They would know exactly what they wanted to wear. They wouldn’t want their mother to drive them places. What was she going to do then? Perhaps Holly had believed she was okay all alone because she’d never met anyone else she actually liked and had feelings for? ‘One white wine.’ Max shot Holly a devastating smile as he handed her the drink. ‘The barman was so slow, I actually ordered us all two drinks each,’ he explained, heading back over to get the other three. ‘Thanks.’ Holly’s lips turned upwards as he walked back. ‘So, where we off to next?’ Max asked, gazing round the bar. ‘There’s a club here in the hotel, I think; Charlie mentioned we were going there earlier. I’m certainly up for it; I’ve heard Vegas clubs are amazing.’ ‘Sounds good to me,’ Max replied enthusiastically, licking his drink from his lips. His brown eyes met Holly’s and her insides turned to jelly. He was just so sexy. She couldn’t believe she hardly knew him and he was having such an effect on her. Holly made her way to the ladies’ after twenty minutes of chatting to Max and Callum and bumped into Emma again. ‘Having fun?’ Emma asked curiously, looking as though she knew Holly’s secret. She was smirking as she asked the question. ‘He’s gorgeous.’ Holly couldn’t help herself. ‘Which one? They both are!’ Emma giggled. ‘Slightly improved since college, haven’t they?’ ‘Yes, they really have. They’re both good looking but I was talking about Max though. What’s the deal with him?’ Holly asked as she washed her hands. ‘He’s just split up with his ex-girlfriend, Carmen,’ Emma revealed, applying some lipstick in the mirror. ‘He was with her about five months; I never knew him to have a girlfriend before that, and I’ve known him ever since I started going to the gym about two years ago. He gets tons of attention from women, not surprisingly. I think he’s a bit of a charmer, to be honest.’ ‘Yes, I can imagine,’ Holly replied, brushing her hair. ‘He’s so lovely though.’ ‘He likes you too,’ Emma smiled widely, giving Holly a reassuring smile. Holly felt a slight colour coming to her cheeks. She felt so silly and childish. Clubbing. Having a little crush. Finding out he liked her back from her friend. She was reminded of her past when this kind of thing was a regular occurrence. It had been so normal back then. ‘What? How do you know?’ ‘I just asked where you’d gone and they told me. Then they both said they thought you were really nice and Max gave a cheeky laugh saying he hoped you weren’t long as he was hoping to get to know you even better.’ Holly’s tummy did another somersault. ‘He just said that?’ She adopted a tone of surprise. ‘Yep,’ Emma grinned. ‘I think you could have yourself a little summer romance here in Vegas.’ Holly couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. ‘We’ll see,’ she said, as they left the ladies’ room. Thirty minutes later, Holly was entering the dark nightclub, following behind Emma. A small group of them had decided to go on, including Max and Callum, while a few of the others had decided to call it a night. The nightclub was absolutely huge, the music was blaring and there were tables full with gigantic bottles of champagne and vodka. Half-clothed waitresses were parading round with trays of shots. It felt crazy to Holly that she was actually here. Once again, she was taken back to the time before she’d had children when she used to go out with Kim. This environment had been her life at one point (not that the local clubs at home were even a fraction as good) and Holly remembered sometimes actually getting a little bored with it. Some nights she didn’t always want to go to a club; it was the thing they did every weekend and it could sometimes get a little dull seeing the same faces and going to exactly the same places. Holly couldn’t imagine ever finding Vegas dull. She was having the time of her life so far, enjoying every single second. She was going to make the most of her little trip, of that she was certain. She was in no rush to get back to the hotel room and go to sleep; all previous thoughts of being jet-lagged and tired had completely disappeared now she was out enjoying herself. Max took her hand, pulling her backwards as Callum and Emma walked ahead, following a pretty waitress to their table. ‘What’s up?’ Holly asked, confused. Max didn’t say anything, he just smirked amusedly before pulling her closer towards him, his hands around her waist. Holly’s heart raced as she gazed into his blazing eyes and without thinking, she leaned in for a kiss. ‘I’ve been wanting to do that since I first saw you,’ he told her with a wicked grin, before walking ahead assertively still holding her hand. Holly caught her breath as she followed him, unable to believe what had just happened. Kissing Max had felt like the most natural thing to do and her stomach bubbled with anticipation. Max was rugged, confident and intriguing, exactly the type of man she found attractive. Holly was hooked. Chapter 5 (#ulink_75a0f657-c955-5c32-9caa-cf607bbad339) Kim (#ulink_75a0f657-c955-5c32-9caa-cf607bbad339) Kim woke up and immediately sat up in a panic. Why weren’t the children awake yet? It took her a few seconds to realize everything was okay. She wasn’t at home. There were no children here. She was in Vegas, with Holly lying in the bed beside her. She took a deep breath, stretching out in bed as she noticed the time on the clock by the television. She’d slept for over thirteen hours, only waking once in the night to notice that Holly wasn’t yet back. Thirteen hours of pure, uninterrupted peace; she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been able to do that. One of her children always woke her. If not in the middle of the night, then at the crack of dawn. They were such early risers and Kim found it difficult to think of the last time she’d slept past seven o’clock. Seven was late for her nowadays. If one of the kids woke and she saw seven anything on her clock she felt like it was an achievement, that she was winning at life and she would give herself a pat on the back in triumph. Kim glanced over at Holly’s bed, pleased to see her friend was now sleeping soundly. She hadn’t heard Holly come in, but she knew it must have been very late because when Kim had woken at three, Holly still wasn’t back. She honestly didn’t know how Holly did it. Kim had been really looking forward to their summer trip away, but she had to admit she planned on relaxing as much as possible. She needed to relax a lot more than she needed to party. She completely understood that Holly was single and probably more interested in going out drinking than nice dinners and shows; luckily there were other people Holly could go out with if Kim felt like having a chilled one. Kim reached across the side of the bed for her Kindle. She would have a nice few hours in bed reading before Holly woke up; this was what holidays were all about. ‘Morning,’ Holly stretched out, yawning loudly an hour and fifteen minutes later. ‘Hey,’ Kim smiled. ‘How was your evening?’ ‘I met up with Emma and the others,’ Holly told her. ‘We went to a bar and then onto a club; it was such a good night, Kim. You should have come.’ ‘And miss out on the best night sleep I’ve had in years?’ Kim gave a little laugh. ‘No chance. Were there a big group of you?’ ‘In the bar there was, but only a small group of us went on to the club. There’s a few people here we know. Danni and Fran from college are out here and do you remember me trying to set you up with someone called Max from the year above us when you were with that guy called Lee who cheated on you?’ ‘Vaguely,’ Kim said frowning as she racked her brains. She didn’t have the best memory. She was forever forgetting people’s names and events that happened years ago. She wasn’t even great at remembering to pack important things when she went out, like baby wipes and Willow’s dummy. It was well known that Kim was a bit of a nightmare. Luckily she always had someone else around her that had the particular thing she needed on them. Someone super-organized and on the ball like Holly. ‘Well they’re here too. They’re really nice guys. It was amazing,’ Holly said, shutting her eyes briefly. ‘Honestly Kim. The clubs here are so good. It’s so much fun; you’re going to love it. I had so much to drink; I’m so glad I feel okay today. God knows what time I came back.’ ‘Did you have to come back alone?’ Kim asked, feeling guilty she’d left her friend to fend for herself in a foreign place. Holly bit her lip, trying not to smile. ‘Actually I didn’t. Max and Callum brought me back. They just wanted to check I got home safely, which was nice of them.’ ‘What’s that smile for?’ Kim asked her quickly, knowing her friend well enough to know she was hiding something. ‘Which one of them do you like?’ She asked wisely with a smile. Holly laughed gaily. ‘Is it that obvious?’ There was a pause. ‘I had a little kiss with Max, that’s all.’ ‘Oh my goodness. I can’t believe I’ve missed only one night and you’ve already been kissing people!’ Kim clicked her tongue in mock-outrage. It was most unlike Holly to meet people she liked enough to kiss. She’d never really been the kind to kiss in a club, even when they were younger. That was usually Kim’s job. She was the one who kissed people and then woke up the next morning with absolutely no memory of doing it. Holly would have been mortified if it had been her, but Kim couldn’t have cared less. It was only a kiss. It seemed so bizarre that Holly was still single, stealing kisses in nightclubs with someone who was practically a stranger. The thought of doing anything like that seemed like a lifetime ago to Kim. She was married with two children. She only ever kissed Andy, and she was glad about that. It had been fun when she was younger, dating various men and not knowing what was going to happen, but Kim realized she was actually far happier now she was grown up, in a loving relationship with a family of her own. She’d had her fun and hung up her boots. Since becoming a mother she had transformed into the person she’d always swore she didn’t want to be. She used to think being a housewife and taking care of children would be so boring and dull, so nothing stunned her more than when she got pregnant by accident, enjoying every second of being a mother when Mylo was born. It had been extremely worrying at the start; Mylo had been born prematurely at thirty-three weeks weighing only three pound ten. She remembered staring at this delicate little baby in the incubator, terrified of taking him home in case she did something wrong. Seeing him so vulnerable and fragile made Kim promise herself she would be the best mother she possibly could. She didn’t expect to love taking care of little people and protecting them, catering for their every need, but she discovered it wasn’t boring at all. In fact, she loved it. She needed it. She loved feeling essential, with two tiny little people constantly climbing all over her, lying on her lap and resting their heads on her chest. She couldn’t believe how quickly Mylo and Willow had already grown; time seemed to be flying past and Kim wanted to relish every moment with her babies. The thought of going out like she used to just didn’t appeal to her any more. She didn’t mind the odd dinner here and there, it was always nice to catch up with people, but generally speaking, she didn’t want to go out and get drunk, feeling ill all the next day. She had a family to look after and it just wasn’t worth it. She had grown up. She was happy with her life now. When they’d first got the invitation to go Vegas, Kim had immediately thought there was no way she was travelling over ten hours away without her family. She knew how happy Holly would be if she went; Holly’s excitement had been obvious the minute she’d seen the invite, but she’d wanted Kim to go too, and Kim just wasn’t sure if she could just up and leave being a mother to two young children. They came first. Kim thought back to how Andy had come home that evening, Mylo and Willow fast asleep upstairs, Kim just dishing up dinner. ‘Good day at work?’ she’d asked, like she did every day. Andy was a PE teacher at their local secondary school. Rugby was his thing, and he also did rugby coaching on Sundays. He lived and breathed it, though Kim still didn’t have the foggiest ideas what the rules were. ‘Yeah, it was good thanks. Lily and I were just trying to organize sports day for most of the day. She’s got some great ideas, I’ll give her that.’ Kim’s brow creased. ‘Lily? Remind me who that is?’ she asked. She thought she’d heard something about a Lily the week before, but Mylo had come downstairs saying he wanted a drink and Kim had been distracted. ‘She’s just a new PE teacher at the school,’ Andy had told her vaguely, pouring them both a glass of orange juice. ‘Oh right. What’s she like? Young? Old?’ ‘She’s twenty-eight, slim, long dark hair,’ Andy said nonchalantly as he reached for two coasters before placing the drinks on the table. ‘What about your day? Did you see Holly like you planned?’ Andy asked as she sat in front of him, handing over his plate. ‘Yes,’ Kim had replied. ‘We just took the kids to the park, that’s all.’ ‘The one near the newsagents? I think Lily lives near there. She was telling me earlier today that they do a great summer fair in that park; perhaps we should check it out? Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask if you fancied a night out soon? Tony and Leah have asked if we wanted to go to their house for dinner. My mum said she’d babysit.’ Tony was Andy’s oldest friend from school. He’d been best man at their wedding and Andy had been his when he’d married Leah. Though Kim knew they hadn’t met up in quite some time, the prospect of spending an evening with them didn’t exactly sound enthralling. Tony and Leah didn’t have any children and Kim knew they would constantly be topping up their wine glasses, convincing them to stay for ‘just one more’. They would most likely end up getting home in the early hours, and with Mylo and Willow being such early risers, Kim couldn’t think of anything worse. She knew Andy would be keen to stay late and it would be Kim appearing like the boring one, battling to get him to leave. ‘I’d rather not if I’m honest,’ Kim told him. ‘Why?’ Andy turned to her, his brow knitted. Kim sighed reluctantly. ‘It will end up a late one, Andy. I don’t want to feel rough the next day when we have such young kids. Maybe another time, eh?’ He sighed heavily and nodded, looking disappointed, knowing there was no point in pushing things further. When Kim made her mind up, she rarely changed it. Kim was keen to change the subject. ‘We’ve been invited to Emma Langford’s wedding in Vegas. Shame it’s so far away or we could have gone, but there’s no way we could ask either of our mums to have the kids for so long, is there? I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving them either. I know Holly is really eager to go though.’ ‘Why don’t you just go, Kim?’ Andy suggested, running his hand through his beard, which needed a trim. ‘Go and have fun with Holly. Just because we have kids doesn’t mean we have to miss out on everything, does it? One of our mums can have the kids for a few days when I’m working and then I’ll take care of them over the weekend. Come on, treat yourself. Once upon a time you would have jumped at the chance of going to Vegas.’ Kim shook her head, not feeling entirely comfortable with the idea. Kim was their mother. As much as Andy was a great father, he didn’t do things like Kim did. He didn’t know that Kim had to pretend to sprinkle sugar on Mylo’s cornflakes to keep him happy in the morning or the way Willow had to be rocked to sleep if she woke up in the night. ‘Yes, but things are different now, aren’t they? I have responsibilities. No, honestly. Thanks Andy, but I don’t think I should be leaving them.’ Andy shrugged with an unreadable expression before sitting at the dinner table and gazing out into the garden. ‘I’m going to mow the lawn after dinner,’ he said. Half an hour later Kim was watching him roam up and down the lawn with a determined look on his face. Andy saw their garden as a serious business. He was often asking her opinions on the flowerbeds or if she liked the lines he’d made in the grass. She’d always thought of Andy as her rugged bear: he was tall at six foot two, and being a rugby player, he was solid and brawny, but with kind, gentle features. Andy’s phone vibrated, which he’d left on the table and Kim picked it up, about to pass it to him before she noticed it was a message from Lily. Hey hot stuff. What you up to? Kim swallowed hard as she read the message again, an unsettled feeling washing over her immediately. Hot stuff? What on earth was all that about? It wasn’t exactly the appropriate thing to write to a married man, was it? But perhaps it was just in a friendly way, Kim told herself. Harmless banter between two work colleagues. Kim didn’t want to be suspicious and she knew she should just put the phone down, but her eyes flicked up at Andy who was in a world of his own in the garden, and she clicked on the message so she could see the rest of the thread. The blood rushed to Kim’s ears and she felt she had something lodged in her throat as she looked through their other messages, which had been going on over the past few weeks. Lily: Where are you eating lunch today? Want some company? Andy: Sure! I’ll come find you now. Lily: Can’t stop thinking about what you said earlier. I keep laughing! Andy: Yep. Funny as well as good looking. Told you I was perfect! Lily: Maybe you’re right :) Lily: Fancy a drink after work Friday night? I want to prove that I can drink you under the table ;) Andy: Maybe. I’ll see if I can make it. Lily: Been thinking of you today. Missing me? Andy: Like a hole in the head! Lily: Ha. I know that’s a lie. Of course you are ? Andy: Maybe a little bit. Could do with an extra set of hands here. How’s the sickness bug?x Lily: Getting better, but still a bit fragile so you’ll need to look after me when I’m back. Wait on me hand and foot, that kind of thing ha. Hopefully I’ll be back with you tomorrow xxx Andy: Fingers crossed! Hope you feel better asap. It’s not the same without you x Kim felt as though her heart was thumping at a million miles per hour. Was she overreacting to this? Kim couldn’t help but notice that their messages were very flirtatious. Why was Andy entertaining this? She racked her brains looking at the date Lily had texted him about going out on the Friday night. They’d had her parents over that Friday evening she was talking about because it had been the day before Kim’s dad’s birthday. Andy had been home with her. She breathed a sigh of relief. Had he asked what their plans were that week to check if he was free? Kim couldn’t recall it now. She was always bathing the kids when he arrived home or attempting to get Mylo to stop coming downstairs and reading him his fifth bedtime story of the night to make him go to sleep. There were always so many other things to think about that she rarely took much notice of Andy any more. Her hands were trembling as she nibbled the nail of her index finger. The thought of not taking much notice of her husband any more troubled her. She looked up to see Andy strolling in looking pleased with himself. ‘Grass looks nice, doesn’t it?’ He turned back round to view his masterpiece. ‘Yes, well done,’ Kim said, after waiting a moment to compose herself. She should say something. Kim knew she ought to bring it up, right there and then. She had to tell Andy she wasn’t too happy with these messages and they had to stop. But she hadn’t said a thing. It was as though the words were just stuck in her throat. Andy was right, she had changed. Kim used to be a bit of a wild child, always up for going out and getting into mischief. It was one of the things Andy had always told her he loved about her. As soon as she’d had Mylo, that had all changed. But didn’t that happen to the majority of mothers? Was Andy getting bored of her? Was she pushing him into the arms of Lily, the twenty-eight-year-old, child-free colleague who thought her husband was ‘hot stuff’? Kim took a deep breath. She needed time to process all of this. ‘Andy, I’ve been thinking,’ she managed. ‘Maybe I’ll take you up on that offer to Vegas after all.’ The memories of that evening disappeared as Kim heard Holly’s soft giggle. ‘I wouldn’t have called it a proper kiss,’ she pointed out, ‘more like a little peck. I shouldn’t have even told you. Now come on, shall we get ready and go get some breakfast? I’m starving,’ she said as she jumped out of bed. ‘Are we just going to a pool today? I can’t wait to sunbathe without a single interruption.’ Hopefully it would also give her time to think about her marriage too. She had wanted this time to come away and escape, forgetting about her troubles back home, but Kim couldn’t help but feel she’d only brought them with her. Even last night she’d struggled to get asleep due to the worry, despite being exhausted. ‘Yes. I said we’d meet the others there at oneish. It’s somewhere called Encore; I can’t remember the hotel though,’ she said, before disappearing to have a shower. After a delicious breakfast of pancakes drenched in maple syrup, the girls were making their way to the swimming pool. ‘We must be the first to arrive,’ Holly noted, looking round for the others. It was a huge place but was fairly quiet so far, with just the odd few sunbathers. Holly imagined it would get busier later on. She glanced at her watch. ‘It’s only twelve though, so I’m sure they’ll be here soon enough.’ ‘Is lover boy coming?’ Kim teased. Holly rolled her eyes. ‘Hey enough of that,’ she laughed. ‘I told you it was only one quick kiss and yes, I think he said he was.’ ‘Peace, quiet, sunshine and my Kindle,’ Kim sighed loudly. ‘This is the life. It’s absolute bliss; I’m so pleased that I came away. I really do appreciate the break. I can’t believe we once got to do this whenever we felt like it.’ The sunshine was blazing and Kim couldn’t wait to try to relax. As she took a deep breath, she smiled as she realized it smelt like holiday: a mixture of coconut, chlorine and sun lotion. Feeling a sudden wave of guilt that she was enjoying herself so much, she pulled her mobile out to call Andy, just to check everything at home was okay with the children. She’d never been away from them before, and despite telling herself she needed to switch off, she was struggling. It went straight through to voicemail and Kim frowned. ‘Calling Andy?’ Holly asked, squinting at Kim in the bright sunshine. ‘Yes. Just got his voicemail,’ Kim said, an uneasy feeling creeping up on her. ‘Perhaps he’s working late.’ ‘It’s about nine o’clock. at home. He wouldn’t be working now,’ Kim replied sighing heavily. ‘I wouldn’t worry; he’s just probably a bit busy. He’ll call back.’ Kim nodded. She knew she was overreacting, worrying for absolutely no reason at all. He could be in the shower or he could have left his phone upstairs; there were a million reasons why he may not be able to answer her phone call straight away. Her mum was watching the children until he got home from work, but Kim assumed she would be home by now, but she tried her phone anyway, anxious when she didn’t answer either. Kim’s mum was terrible with her mobile. Half of the time it was on silent and the other half of the time she left it at home. She couldn’t stand not knowing what was going on. A thought dawned on her then and it was one she didn’t like at all. Had Andy wanted her to go to Vegas so he could spend time with Lily? Chapter 6 (#ulink_43e48540-cad9-5402-8aa4-cc9ed5592ef0) Holly (#ulink_43e48540-cad9-5402-8aa4-cc9ed5592ef0) ‘Fancy a cocktail?’ Holly asked hopefully. ‘I may get a Cosmopolitan.’ Holly hadn’t brought a book like Kim had. She had tried to explain to Kim how busy it would get; Vegas pool parties were hardly the place for reading. Kim hadn’t taken much notice though and staying true to her new, sensible self, she’d pulled out a sun hat and Factor 50 cream. Gone were the days when Kim would sunbathe topless, lathering on Factor 2 oil. As the minutes went by, it started to become more and more lively, with crowds of people walking through the entrance, security guards checking the ID of everyone coming through and it was clear they were in the right place. Holly knew Emma wouldn’t disappoint with her plans and she was glad she’d worn her best swimsuit. Her plain, boring mumsy ones just weren’t going to cut it here, she thought amusedly. The girls who had started to walk in were certainly dressed to impress, many having a full face of make-up on and freshly tonged hair. They oozed glamour and sex appeal, many laughing and appearing buoyant, ready to have a good time. The music started to become louder and Holly heard Kim exhale in frustration. ‘No, I’ll just get a Diet Coke I think. It’s loud in here, don’t you think?’ ‘I think this is just what a pool party is supposed to be like,’ Holly explained. She was hoping that Kim would come out of her shell and be a bit more positive and upbeat today. ‘Honestly, take my advice and just enjoy it before it’s over. Try not to worry about home at all. We’re not going to be here long! We’re all the way in Vegas now, so let’s just have a good time,’ Holly told her brightly. ‘Anyway, I’m going to get a cocktail. Diet Coke, was it?’ ‘Please,’ Kim said as she bent down to search her bag for her sunglasses. ‘I can’t really drink in the daytime any more; just goes straight to my head.’ Holly knew she had to accept Kim had changed in the past few years, but she knew her fun side was in there somewhere. She was no longer a daytime drinker and preferred to sleep rather than go out. Since when would Kim not have a cocktail round a swimming pool? They were on holiday. If you couldn’t drink in the daytime on holiday, then when could you? Holly was determined to bring her out of her shell. It was getting louder at the pool party and now there was a DJ standing in the booth. Holly was elated to spot Emma, Charlie and a few others walking through the entrance. She waved her hands wildly as though they were going to miss her, beaming with joy as they walked over. She quickly scanned the small group of them, feeling a little gutted that Max hadn’t yet arrived. She was really looking forward to seeing him, even though she felt a little nervous about it. ‘Drinks?’ Holly offered, as Emma danced over with the broadest smile on her face. Emma hugged her. ‘How cool is it here? Let’s do a whip, shall we? We can buy a few jugs of cocktails and loads of beers for the boys so we don’t have to keep coming and ordering.’ She looked round. ‘Where are you sitting? Did Kim make it out today?’ As Holly’s gaze landed on Kim, she tried to contain her laughter. She was lying down, reading her book with a huge sunhat on, as girls around her flounced around in tiny two pieces, drinking, dancing and splashing in the water. ‘She’s just over there.’ ‘Come, let’s leave Charlie to take our order and we’ll sort the money out in a bit. Let’s go see Kim,’ she said happily. ‘Just a Diet Coke too, Charlie, if that’s okay? For Kim,’ Holly added hastily. Emma gasped in mock-offence. ‘Diet Coke? Charlie, just pretend you didn’t hear that. She’s not drinking a Diet Coke when she’s out with us,’ she said cheekily, pulling Holly along behind her. ‘Kim!’ Emma practically jumped on top of her, making her scream. ‘Em, you frightened the life out of me!’ Kim said in a high-pitched voice with a smile on her face, looking pleased to see her. ‘How are you?’ ‘I’m good. Amazing. About to get married, can you believe? Thank you so much for coming all the way out here. I honestly feel so lucky to have people to make such an effort for me,’ Emma told them graciously, sitting on the edge of Kim’s sun lounger. ‘Ah, I’m so pleased to be here,’ Kim gushed. ‘I can’t wait to see your dress. You’re looking tiny by the way,’ she commented, pointing and admiring Emma’s toned figure through her white kaftan. ‘Holly mentioned that we were coming to help you with flowers or something? What time are we going?’ ‘We’ll stay here for about an hour and a half and then get a taxi there. Thanks for agreeing to come.’ ‘Is that Charlie over there?’ Kim questioned. ‘I’ve only ever seen him on your Instagram. He looks lovely. I bet you can’t wait to get married; you two literally look like the dream couple.’ ‘Definitely can’t wait,’ Emma replied in a shrilly voice. ‘I’m so lucky. I can’t wait to start trying for a baby like you girls. I’ll be coming to you both soon for lots of advice I hope. Then I can join you on your kids’ days out.’ ‘Don’t get too excited,’ Holly laughed heartily. ‘I’d happily never see another baby group again, but seriously, we can’t wait for you to join us either. Are you going to start trying straight away?’ Holly asked curiously. ‘That’s the plan,’ Emma said cheerfully. ‘Hopefully I’ll be pregnant by the end of the summer…’ she tailed off. ‘How exciting,’ Kim replied, her eyes glittery. ‘Oh look, there’s Max and Callum,’ Emma announced, looking over to the entrance. Holly felt her heart gallop at the sight of Max and Callum as she narrowed her eyes trying to make them out. ‘Oh my God,’ Kim said, her eyes widening and mouth forming an ‘o’ shape. ‘They’re hot. Wait, that’s the guy you tried to set me up with?’ she asked Holly. ‘The dark-haired one? Jeez. If I’d known he’d turn out like that I would have ditched Lee in a heartbeat,’ she giggled girlishly. ‘Yes, that’s him,’ Holly replied, wishing Kim would stop staring. It was so obvious they were discussing him. Not cool in the slightest. ‘He didn’t exactly look like that at college though.’ ‘What exactly happened between you two last night anyway?’ Emma asked, grinning. Holly flapped her hand dismissively, feeling her face growing hotter. ‘It was nothing, honestly. Nothing at all.’ She didn’t want to admit how much she liked him already. Holly had always kept her cards close to her chest where men were concerned. She hardly knew Max and she didn’t even know if he liked her back yet. He may go around kissing everyone for all she knew. She remembered once at her school prom when she told everyone she really liked a boy called Matt Renshaw. She’d been spending quite a bit of time with him, and he’d hinted a few times he liked her as more than a friend. Everyone had teased her about it for ages, but Holly had never admitted it, too afraid of rejection. All girl friends got so excited when one night she finally said she did have feelings for him, trying to persuade her to go over to him to chat. When Holly finally gathered the courage to walk over to him, Matt started kissing a girl called Sarah Bentley. There had been tongues and everything and Holly had felt humiliated as she gazed at her friends’ pitying glances. She’d left it too late. Matt had got bored of waiting for her and was moving on. She’d have much preferred to never have said she liked him in the first place. That way, no-one would have been any the wiser over how sad she’d felt about the whole thing. For months Holly felt embarrassed every time she spotted Matt and Sarah together. The last she heard, Matt was still with Sarah and they had two little boys together so it all worked out for the best in the end. Charlie walked over with their drinks and Emma poured them out their cocktails. Holly noticed that Kim introduced herself straight away, taking a cocktail without even questioning where her Diet Coke was, much to Holly’s surprise. Then she noticed Kim put away her sun hat and take her shorts off, looking round at what everyone else was wearing. ‘I kind of wish I’d made a bit more effort with my swimwear now,’ Holly heard Kim say to Emma. ‘I’ve had this costume for years. I really should have gone shopping before coming here.’ Emma shook her head dismissively. ‘You look great. I hope I look as good as you after two children,’ she said sweetly. ‘Besides, there’s tons of shops in Vegas if you want to go shopping.’ ‘That would be great – maybe we could go after the flowers or something?’ Kim said hopefully. ‘I may just go and freshen up a bit in the ladies,’ she told her. She glanced in Holly’s direction. ‘Need to go?’ ‘No, I’m okay,’ Holly replied. Kim seemed to be more up for it now since the others had arrived and Holly was glad. Max and Callum walked over to where they were standing. ‘Hey,’ Max said in a friendly voice. ‘What’s everyone drinking?’ Charlie signalled to the table of drinks. ‘Beers are here mate,’ he pointed out, ‘just join the whip and help yourself.’ ‘Cheers,’ Max replied, peeling off his white t-shirt to reveal the most stunning body Holly had ever seen. He was muscular, but not too big, with several tattoos on his chest and a sleeve tattoo on his right arm. Holly wasn’t really into guys with huge muscles like some personal trainers, so the fact he had just the right amount made him even more perfect. If someone asked her to draw her dream man, she’d be drawing Max. His skin was bronzed already, smooth and flawless. She felt her heart skip a beat when he looked in her direction with a smoldering gaze. ‘Hi Holly,’ he smiled, leaning over and kissing her cheek. She could see his eyes roaming up and down her body through his sunglasses. ‘How you feeling this morning?’ he asked. He was so confident and charming, and without a doubt the most handsome man she’d ever kissed. Holly wasn’t shallow and she knew looks weren’t everything, but she couldn’t recall a time she’d been so drawn to someone. She couldn’t recall ever fantasizing about someone the way she had done the past morning about Max. She’d found Rob attractive when they first met, but it was his personality that had made him more appealing the longer they’d dated. With Max, she could just stare at him all day. He was literally her type to a ‘T’, and so far, he seemed to have the personality to match. ‘Hey,’ Callum smiled in her direction and Holly couldn’t help but notice he was in amazing shape too. Being a gym owner, she guessed it was part and parcel of the job to look good. He literally had no excuse not to go. She felt slightly guilty looking at their sculpted bodies. She hadn’t gone to the gym in years. Firstly she didn’t have time having the children and secondly, even if she did, she knew she wouldn’t pick the gym over shopping and getting a manicure. It just wasn’t a priority of hers at all, but with Max being a personal trainer, she was starting to think about taking more of an interest. Then again, she wasn’t ever going to be a tiny size six parading around in a bikini and she was okay with that. Bikinis were now out of the window; her two children had seen to that. Being a size ten/twelve, Holly wasn’t exactly big in any way, but her skin was a bit crinkled on her lower stomach and she had a few silver stretch marks, something she tried to view in a positive light. They were marks to show she’d made it through childbirth and was lucky enough to have delivered two healthy, beautiful babies; Marks she was proud of, but not quite brave enough to show to the world. Max sat next to Holly on the sun lounger. ‘Wow, it’s hot today,’ he said, running his fingers through his hair. She could smell his aftershave as he lifted his arm – a mixture of earthy patchouli and rosewood. ‘You’re not wrong there,’ Holly replied, leaning back, closing her eyes and putting her face into the sunlight. ‘Heatwave at home and now we’re here. I don’t think I can remember a hotter summer.’ He half smiled. ‘Fancy taking your drink into the pool? I think I need to cool down.’ Holly didn’t need to be asked twice and she followed him, watching the other admiring glances from females as they walked past. They were looking at Holly as though she was lucky, and at that point in time she honestly felt it. Being with someone like Max made her feel special. There was just something about him and the way he looked at her that made Holly feel important. They sat on the edge of the pool and Max put his arm round her. Her skin tingled and she felt herself weaken at his touch. She needed to get a grip, she told herself sternly. She hardly knew him. ‘Last night was fun,’ he smirked, as he glanced around at the other people in the pool, which was becoming more crowded by the second. The music was even louder now too. ‘Yes, I had such a good night,’ Holly told him. ‘Do you go out much at home?’ Max asked, cocking his head to the side. Holly shook her head. ‘Not any more. I have two children,’ she explained. She wanted him to know this sooner rather than later. If Max had an issue with it, then it was never going to work out anyway. The quicker Holly knew this, the better. ‘I don’t get the chance to get out as much as I used to.’ ‘So are you still with the father of your children?’ Max asked cautiously. His brow furrowed and he looked a little worried and surprised. ‘No, no.’ Holly couldn’t reply quick enough to put him at ease. She may not have been happy with Rob, but she certainly wasn’t the type to cheat. ‘Rob and I split up about eight months ago. He has a new girlfriend now. He told me just before I came out here. We’re still friends.’ Max nodded. ‘Glad to hear it,’ he said, an unreadable expression on his face. ‘I love kids,’ Max added, ‘can’t wait to have my own one day.’ Holly knew this was his way of saying he wasn’t put off by the fact she was a mum and she felt herself relax. ‘Hi!’ Holly heard Kim’s merry tones behind her. She turned round in surprise to see Kim emerge from the crowd, having glammed herself up in the ladies. She was even wearing lip-gloss now and her blonde hair, which had been up in a messy bun, was now cascading down her shoulders. She sat next to Max and put her hand out. ‘Sorry, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Kim.’ She shot him her biggest smile. ‘So nice to meet you.’ ‘Ah yes, I’ve heard about you. You made it out today then?’ he asked, splashing his legs about in the pool. ‘Yes, I’m fresh and ready for the day. The sleep did me the world of good,’ Kim replied, shooting him another bright smile. ‘So I hear we were supposed to go on a date years ago?’ She giggled, raising one eyebrow. ‘Indeed we were,’ Max replied. ‘I think you blew me out though,’ he smiled, looking more handsome than ever. ‘I’m sure you were heartbroken,’ Kim responded, laughing gaily. ‘Shall I get some more drinks?’ Holly offered, standing up to get out the pool. ‘Go on then,’ Kim grinned, downing the last bit of her cocktail and handing Holly the glass. Emma was in deep conversation with Frankie when Holly walked back over to their sun beds. ‘Sorry,’ Holly apologized, as she walked past and leant over to pick up the cocktail jug. ‘Don’t be silly,’ Emma replied. ‘Frankie was just telling me their stag do plans tonight. He’s promised me he’ll look after Charlie,’ she laughed good-naturedly. ‘Charlie has a bit of a habit of getting a bit too drunk.’ ‘Understatement of the year,’ Frankie grinned. ‘Do you remember that time we had to find him when he’d fallen asleep outside at Helen’s wedding?’ Emma laughed vigorously with Frankie. ‘That was so funny. I’d forgotten about that.’ ‘I see you’ve been with Max again,’ Emma said to Holly, with a suggestive glint in her eye. Holly blushed. ‘Yes. He’s a nice guy,’ she said in a non-committal tone. ‘Where is he now?’ Emma turned round and noticed him in the pool. ‘Oh yes, he’s over there with Kim.’ ‘Let’s get a photo,’ Holly suggested, taking her phone out of her bag. She usually forgot to take pictures on holidays and nights out and relied on other people to take them. She took a selfie of them together and then Holly flicked through her Facebook newsfeed because she had a notification. ‘Right, we’d best leave in about fifteen minutes and then perhaps we’ll go shopping quickly afterwards,’ Emma explained, going on to tell Holly the plans for her hen do that evening. ‘Holly, are you even listening to me?’ Holly shook her head as though she was in a daydream. ‘Yes, yes. You were talking about tonight,’ she said, her eyes flicking back to her phone. Rob had added some new images of himself and Nikki and Holly couldn’t help but flick through them nosily. There was one photo of them both laughing and it reminded Holly that she hadn’t seen Rob look so happy in a very long time. Had they once laughed like that? They certainly hadn’t at the end of their relationship. It had been constant huffing and eye-rolling. Was it possible to be happy for someone but also feel a stab of envy? She noticed Rob’s mother, Judy, comment underneath the photo. Lovely couple, it read. Holly swallowed hard, feeling a pang of betrayal towards Judy. She’d always got on well with her, but wasn’t liking the feeling of being replaced so easily. Didn’t they realize it wasn’t easy for her to see things like this? ‘Are you okay? You seem to be in another world,’ Emma asked caringly. ‘No, I’m fine, honestly.’ Holly attempted a light laugh. She did her best to listen to the rest of what Emma was saying, but the truth was Holly felt a bit empty inside. We weren’t right together, Holly reminded herself over and over as Emma continued to chat away. She had been the one who had made the decision that they should go their separate ways. Despite wanting a perfect family for her children, she knew it couldn’t go on as it was, so why did it all feel so final now Rob had moved on? She didn’t want to find this difficult. She’d been adamant that she and Rob would remain friends on social media as well as in real life because everything was cool between them. There wasn’t anything to get upset about. She couldn’t very well delete him now, could she? He would wonder what he’d done wrong. She looked back down at the laughing photo. No, Holly wouldn’t delete him. But she sure as hell was going to unfollow him so she didn’t have to look at photos like that ever again. She looked over at Max, who caught her eye and put on her most seductive smile. Chapter 7 (#ulink_7b2016fc-dcae-5a8f-bc5c-295aaed40a08) Emma (#ulink_7b2016fc-dcae-5a8f-bc5c-295aaed40a08) Emma pulled her phone out to get some videos of the pool party to upload to her Instagram. She knew she would be inundated with messages asking where she got her beautiful white bikini from (a freebie from a new swimwear company) or people asking for advice about Vegas and where to go. Posting on Instagram was addictive. Emma honestly couldn’t remember the last day she hadn’t posted something. She’d been ill the previous year and had felt guilty for not posting as much as usual after spending nearly a week holed up with tonsillitis. She had even created a video just to apologize to people who liked being updated with her new make-up routine or what new outfit she was wearing. People were actually messaging her and asking where she was, as if it was the end of the world that she hadn’t posted in a while. As though they needed their Emma fix. It was crazy, but it had become normal life for Emma. The amount of people wishing her well that week had been incredible. Emma felt like some kind of celebrity. She felt like someone valued, special and important. She couldn’t deny it boosted her ego and made her feel good in a way nothing else could. Watching as hundreds of people liked her photos, reading their lovely comments and receiving the private messages; many offers from various companies and brands wanting to send her freebies just so she advertised them in a post. Her numbers of followers just kept on rising and rising. The amount of likes she received continued to increase every week. Her business was growing at a rapid speed – Emma could hardly keep up. That’s when Charlie reminded her how lucky she was to have him to help; he often dealt with lots of the enquiries. He often told her what she was doing and when. She wanted to get a quick video before she had to leave to look at the flowers. Emma put her camera in selfie mode and smiled, whilst waving her hand in time to the music. She then turned it round in the direction of the others who waved and cheered. Everyone apart from Charlie, who pretty much rolled his eyes and turned the opposite way. It hadn’t gone unnoticed to Emma. ‘Does it ever get exhausting always having to update your fans?’ Frankie asked, standing beside her with a grin as Emma tapped away on her phone adding the location of where they were to her video story. ‘Sometimes,’ Emma answered truthfully. She’d never really admitted that before. Charlie had recently been making snide comments, especially if she was posting something in which he wasn’t included. He was always fine accepting the free trips and gifts she got from companies that included him. If he was in the photo, he always seemed more than happy to pose. It just seemed that recently, he’d been putting Emma’s job down and making her feel as though she should be doing something normal like working in an office or cutting people’s hair. He made her feel as though she was vain for constantly taking photos. She constantly had to remind him that it had all been his idea in the first place. Emma had actually asked herself the same question on many occasions: did it make her narcissistic indulging in so many selfies, even though it was her job? ‘Certainly not a bad job though, is it?’ Frankie said encouragingly to reassure her he wasn’t putting it down. ‘I guess it’s just one you never really get a break from. Still, not your typical nine to five. I think it’s great. I know I’d happily be a blogger over working in finance,’ he admitted. He was certainly right that Emma never really got a break from it. If she was really honest, there were some times where she felt like she wasn’t actually living these moments she was capturing on camera and showing the world. The trip to the Maldives was an example. She’d gone with Charlie for the New Year and every time she saw a beautiful setting, she just couldn’t help but think, this will make a great photo. Had she truly appreciated it or just admired it through a lens? ‘Why don’t we just go out as we are tonight?’ she remembered Charlie saying one evening. They’d been on a boat and for a swim in the sea. Emma looked like a drowned rat with her tangled wet hair and her face free of make-up. She was only wearing a cheap, plain kaftan too. ‘No,’ she recalled protesting, ‘I want a shower and to get ready. I want to wash my hair and freshen up.’ Had she really wanted to do that though? Or was it just because she wanted to take the stunning photo they got that evening of them in front of a sunset on the beach? Emma had wanted to look nice in the image so she could post it. There wasn’t any room for ‘normal’ on her Instagram feed. She wanted to keep up the pretence that she had the perfect, magical life and just so happened to always look amazing twenty-four hours a day. She and Charlie had argued that evening and she remembered going to bed without even saying goodnight. That certainly hadn’t made it onto her Instagram feed. Then there were the horrible comments from the trolls. It was funny, the name ‘troll’, a term used for people who made nasty remarks anonymously from behind a computer screen, but it was a perfect really. When Emma thought of that word, she thought of a little green goblin kind of person, cowardice and ugly on the inside. Emma could never quite get her head around the fact that people could be so mean to someone they’d never even met. Someone they didn’t know. Luckily she didn’t get too many horrible comments, but just like anyone who had a lot of followers, it came hand in hand with the game. You’ve airbrushed your photo. So pathetic, she clearly recalled someone writing once. (She hadn’t actually ‘airbrushed’ anything, didn’t have a clue how to Photoshop, but she couldn’t pretend she didn’t pick the most flattering filter and adjust the lighting and saturation of her images. But everyone did that, didn’t they?) Your forehead is sooooo big another had said. (Emma was looking in the mirror at every chance she got that day and even measured it and Googled average forehead size. Hers was completely in range.) You’re way too skinny. I preferred you when you were bigger. Time to stop the dieting now. She would never get over how people felt they could tell her what she should and shouldn’t be doing when it came to her weight. It was up to her, surely? Not as pretty as you think. Some comments stung. They really, really hurt and there were days when Emma felt like she’d had enough of it all. Couldn’t take another malicious remark. They got her down and made her feel rubbish about herself. Worthless and insecure. It didn’t matter how many nice and lovely comments she received, it was always the bad ones that stuck. It was always these ones that would whirl around her mind all day long and make her wonder if that person was actually right. Emma was brought back to the present and turned to Frankie. ‘There’s pros and cons I guess. It’s not as easy as it seems sometimes. It takes over my life a bit.’ ‘Still, you get free stuff as well as holidays though, don’t you? I know Charlie was chuffed when you both got sent all that sportswear recently. He was saying how he managed to convince the company to send him some too,’ he laughed. ‘Always manages to wrap people round his little finger, that one.’ Emma forced a laugh, but she felt a little rattled by the comment. She wasn’t aware that Charlie had persuaded the company to send him clothes too. He’d told her that they’d offered and she rarely checked her emails; she had always trusted everything that Charlie told her. Frankie continued, oblivious to Emma’s troubled expression. ‘When people click your links and purchase the same outfits you wore, you get money for it, when essentially all you’ve had to do is post a photo. It’s pretty cool,’ Frankie reminded her. ‘And it’s far more interesting than a lot of people’s jobs.’ Emma nodded and smiled warmly at him. Frankie was always so upbeat and complimentary. They had always got on from the first day they’d met. Emma felt truly comfortable around Frankie as soon as they’d been introduced and could honestly say he was one of the nicest guys she knew. A great friend. He was a couple of years younger than Charlie, being twenty-eight, but he and Charlie were really close. She was pleased Frankie was going to be part of the ceremony; it wouldn’t have felt right without him being involved somehow. Especially seeing as he was such a great help and support with the wedding. Charlie often told Emma how much Frankie looked up to him. He was the closest cousin Charlie had, and Frankie had sadly lost his father to cancer when he was only twelve. Charlie thought he was the older male relative Frankie needed in his life, though he sometimes made unpleasant remarks about Frankie being like an annoying little brother, which Emma ignored. ‘So things didn’t work out with you and Marie then?’ Emma enquired in a gentle voice. Frankie cleared his throat and shook his head. ‘Nah. I wasn’t ever really sure about her if you know what I mean?’ He paused for a moment. ‘She was a bit too materialistic for my liking. Always hinting for me to buy her some designer bag or another and telling me what her friends’ boyfriends were buying them. I felt like she wanted to be with me for all the wrong reasons. It was never a serious relationship and I called it a day. She was impressed that you were marrying my cousin,’ he let out a little laugh. ‘I think she follows you on Instagram and is one of your fans. Said something about a lovely bag you had or something once.’ Emma closed her eyes for a moment, feeling embarrassed. She struggled to hear people use the word ‘fans’ and always found herself feeling so awkward. ‘Oh god. Yes, sorry, maybe I’m to blame for some of the bags she likes,’ she chortled. ‘I always tag my bags in the photos I post. I get sent some for free, but my expensive designer ones I saved up for myself. Everyone is allowed a little treat from time to time, aren’t they? I’d never expect Charlie to fork out for them though; if I want anything I make sure I buy it myself. I’ve just always been like that.’ ‘You’re a hard worker. Independent, and I admire you for that. I guess that’s where you and Marie were very different.’ ‘She was very pretty,’ Emma recalled, thinking of her beautiful long red hair and bright blue eyes. ‘Yes, but looks aren’t enough, are they? When you like someone and have a real connection, you just know don’t you?’ His hazel eyes burned into hers and feeling the atmosphere shift slightly, Emma looked away quickly. She wasn’t even sure why. It took her back to a time when Charlie disappeared on a night out. They were together in a group and Frankie had been there too. There had been a few other couples as well as some of Charlie’s single mates. They’d been drinking in a London bar and after a few hours, the other couples had left. Конец ознакомительного фрагмента. 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