Cross My Heart

Cross My Heart AM Hartnett Dangerous, but worth the risk?Evie and Ryan are selective. Not just any man will do. After weeks of trying to make a connection online they finally extend an invitation that outs their sinful search to their widowed landlord, Seth. And then Seth reveals a secret of his own: he’s more than eager to become his young tenants’ playmate.In spite of the explosive dynamic the threesome find in bed, Ryan’s insecurities bubble to the surface. He wanted a lover who wouldn’t hurt Evie, but as he watches his woman writhe with the ecstasy another man gives her, it becomes clear that Seth isn’t the one Evie needs to worry about leaving with a bruised heart. Sharing the control in bed was the easy part. Losing control of his emotions could destroy what he has with Evie. Cross My Heart A. M. HARTNETT A division of HarperCollinsPublishers www.harpercollins.co.uk (http://www.harpercollins.co.uk) Mischief An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street London, SE1 9GF www.mischiefbooks.com (http://www.mischiefbooks.com) An eBook Original 2015 Copyright © A. M. Hartnett 2015 A. M. Hartnett asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work. A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books. Ebook Edition © 2015 ISBN: 9780008148775 Version: 2015–06–03 Contents Cover (#uecdc15bd-ef47-59dd-ba95-dcc07ab8372f) Title Page (#u62d0bd66-e9b5-55c1-a17f-60a3b5e9dd9d) Copyright (#ub48931af-9126-54de-aecb-e5f462da9a38) Chapter One (#u86c7fdf5-80f4-5efa-9c4f-c75d449c1844) Chapter Two (#ubf861072-129e-54d0-9ad8-0d34605c8f04) Chapter Three (#u85220c48-7d43-5e25-a524-4b38021d4d2f) Chapter Four (#ucb25701a-d53b-51d1-8e8f-18f0129e81e3) Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo) More from Mischief (#litres_trial_promo) About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter One (#u71371f5a-3dad-573d-95ad-c07e56f00e3d) ‘Sneaky, sneaky.’ The deep voice coiled around Evie from the darkness. She gasped, her heart slamming against her chest three times before her common sense banished her panic. It was just Seth. She leaned against the metal rail of the fire escape and grinned at the man in the window. He wasn’t entirely in darkness: there was a light on in the bedroom beyond, but his living room was unlit and the shadows cast over him made him seem like a devil. Add to his long-haired and bearded appearance the arms darkened by ink, the glow of his cigarette and the black cat draped across the windowsill in front of him, and he might as well have been a devil or a warlock greeting her at the gates of Hell. ‘I thought you quit those.’ ‘Where would you get an idea like that?’ he replied with a chuckle. The end of the cigarette glowed angry red as he took a long drag. He blew a stream to her left, stroked the cat with his free hand and cocked his head. ‘I don’t know why you sneak around like this. You can just walk up the stairs or take the elevator.’ ‘You know why: I don’t want Mrs Boyd giving me that look. The one that says she knows I’m about to do something sinful under her roof.’ ‘It’s not her roof, it’s mine. My building.’ ‘As far as she’s concerned, after forty years here it’s her roof and she just lets you own it.’ Evie let go of the railing and bent down to give Marco a scratch between the ears. The feline vibrated and purred as his tail flicked like a small whip. ‘Besides, he leaves the window open for me.’ ‘What will you do in the winter?’ ‘We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.’ She glanced up. She could see the blue flicker of the television Ryan had no doubt fallen asleep in front of, a beacon calling her to continue her ascent to his bed, to him. Still, she smiled back at her landlord. ‘Care for a quick drink before I head up?’ Seth shook his head, took another drag, then stubbed his smoke out in the coffee can just outside the window. ‘Can’t. It keeps me awake, and I already have trouble sleeping these days.’ ‘Since when?’ He hesitated, and she wished she hadn’t asked. Ryan had mentioned something about the anniversary of Rita’s death coming up. No matter how many times Seth said it was OK, it never felt OK to talk about it. ‘A few months ago I started to notice it,’ he told her. He got up from his chair and hauled the cat into his arms. ‘Must be the hops or something. Though if you want one, I’ll sit with you.’ ‘No, I’ll feel bad that I’m getting a buzz and you’re getting insomnia. Maybe tomorrow I’ll come down and we’ll have some tea.’ Seth raised his arm and flattened his hand against the top of the window. ‘Give him a big sloppy kiss for me.’ With a giggle, Evie said goodnight and continued her trek up the fire escape. On the next landing, the one next to her own apartment, she felt a twinge of guilt. I should have sat with him for a little while, she thought. A drink of Coke or something. Let him sit there and talk and smoke. Yet as much as she enjoyed their talks, she wasn’t in the mood to sit with Seth. If she had stayed she would be doing something he had told her specifically not to do since she first found out about his wife: pity him. At the very top of the fire escape, as expected, Evie found the window open. She climbed in and closed it behind her. Barely midnight and Ryan was already out like a light. Then again, he had been getting up at five o’clock these past two weeks. She envied the money he made at the hospital, but she didn’t envy his hours when he drew the early shift, or those nights when he was on call. He probably went right to sleep when he got home. She pushed off her sneakers and smiled in the darkness. It was his style to grab a catnap so he could stay up with her until she was ready to go to bed. That was just something Ryan would do, to get some extra time in with her after an evening apart. She let him sleep, using his shower to scrub off her day as a tour guide. She used his soap and deodorant, too, so she was wrapped up in him when she headed back to the bedroom in only her towel. Her friend of almost a year – and, she supposed, boyfriend of three months – lay naked on top of the covers with the standing fan at the foot of the bed pointed at his back. She tossed the towel aside, slipped on to the bed next to him and ran her hand along his back. He was cool to the touch until she reached his neck, where he had been sunburned while sitting on the stoop this past weekend. The breeze from the fan ruffled the overgrown blond hair at the back of his head, calling for her fingers to follow. He stirred as she snuggled close, lifted his head to look at her with a sigh, then dropped back down on to his pillow. ‘Did you eat?’ he asked, like he always did when she worked late. ‘Earlier, on my break.’ ‘Eat.’ ‘You know I can’t eat this late.’ Ryan turned over and pulled her hand from his hip to his stomach until she was squashed against his back. ‘You don’t take good enough care of yourself.’ ‘Shush,’ she whispered, and loosened her hand from his grip to stroke through the trail of hair along his belly. ‘Any luck?’ ‘The usual disappointments.’ Evie walked her fingers lower and chuckled against his shoulder as she found his cock semi-hard. ‘Better luck next time.’ He went quiet for a moment, breathing softly as though asleep as she stroked his shaft, and then he groaned as she rubbed her palm across the slick head. ‘Maybe we should just give it a rest,’ he said, then turned and pulled her leg over his. Arm crossed with hers, he rubbed two fingers through her nether lips, smearing the moisture that had already gathered there. Evie just enjoyed the attention of his fingers for a moment, closing her eyes and matching his pace with her hand as he tugged the hood around her clit. ‘No,’ she said with a sigh, and wriggled closer. ‘No, we’ve been talking about this for too long. The time to talk is pretty much over, and there’s no going back to before.’ ‘I hope you don’t mean going back to being just friends. After this?’ He penetrated her with both fingers, then rose up until she was on her back and she was at his mercy. He laughed through a teasing kiss. ‘That’s not an option, Miss Potter.’ ‘And neither is giving up. This was your suggestion, after all.’ ‘Don’t give me that. You get as turned on as I do, thinking about it.’ She couldn’t deny that even if she wanted to, though as his thrusts became more insistent than exploratory she didn’t particularly feel like laying blame or taking credit. She drew her foot along his calf and over his knee, opening up for him. ‘I jerked off when I got home from work,’ he whispered, his lazy smile charming her in the moonlight. ‘Guess where.’ ‘I know where,’ she replied, and joined her fingers with his long enough to slick them with her juices. ‘My apartment.’ ‘How did you know?’ ‘You always jerk off in my bedroom. You have since we traded keys.’ The first time she’d brought to light her knowledge of his penchant for rolling around in her lavender sheets, he’d lit up with embarrassment, even though they’d been to bed a few times together already. He thought it made him creepy; she found it to be a turn-on. In fact, she was a little disappointed he hadn’t been tempted to some solo play in her bed back when they first exchanged keys as friendly neighbours. Now, his excitement manifested in the throb of his cock against her palm. ‘I like it when you do it in my bedroom when I’m not home,’ she told him. ‘I’d like it better if you send me a video of you doing it.’ ‘That goes both ways,’ he said teasingly. ‘How do you want me?’ she asked, like she’d asked every time since that first time they’d gone from being neighbours to something else. He raised one hand, slipped it beneath her head and cradled her neck as he turned her over completely. Brushing her hand away, he grasped his cock and positioned it where she wanted him, where she needed him. They hadn’t bothered with condoms since this thing between them had taken a more serious turn, and so as he began to shove deeper she slipped her hands behind him and pushed down on his round ass. ‘All the way, baby,’ she whispered, and hitched her ankles above his ass. ‘I want to feel every inch.’ ‘Christ,’ he said in a groan. He didn’t have to say anything more. He’d already said it. Christ, all those months I spent tugging my own dick when I could have been in bed with you. He built his possession slowly. Evie wrapped her arms around his neck and rocked in tune with his first slow, tantalising thrusts. Hands moved to her hair, slowly stroking at first before he closed his fingers against her scalp. His kiss mimicked the momentum he built with the thrust of his hips, until she moaned around his insistent tongue and bucked up for more. ‘This isn’t how I want you,’ he murmured into the corner of her mouth, and in a quick roll he reversed their positions. His grin was silver in the moonlight as she looked down upon him. ‘This is how I want you. I love watching you while I’m making you come.’ ‘You making me come,’ she said with a pout as she rocked back and forth over his cock. ‘I’m the one on top. I’ve got all the power.’ ‘I’m not falling for that,’ he said, then hissed as she rose up. He clamped down, following the trajectory of her hips, and held her in place as he fucked hard and deep and fast. He stopped suddenly, leaving only the tip in. Breathless and gasping, she let him have his victory. She held his gaze and ran her hands along his forearms, then bit down on her smile as the hairs stood up in the wake of her fingertips. The novelty of fucking Ryan never got old. Every damn time, she had a moment like this when she was so giddy to be with him she thought she’d burst. ‘I’ve got something you’ll like,’ he murmured, then reached under his pillow. ‘Ta-da.’ ‘Oh, that’s my favourite,’ she cooed as he uncapped the little tube of lubricant. The scent of menthol spread between them as he rubbed a small dollop around her clit, then licked his fingertip and dropped the tube on to the floor. His hand hovered. ‘Do you want something else?’ ‘No, just you,’ she told him. He was so damned good with his fingers that she couldn’t bear to waste a drop of that stuff on the buzzing tip of a vibrator. Ryan pushed up on to one elbow and used it for the leverage of his slow thrusts as he worked the lube around and around the fleshy hood and the hardening bud beneath. ‘That’s my baby,’ he whispered, then let his words settle over her as he strummed on her clit. He knew what he did to her when he called her his baby, and she knew what it did to him to say those words. As the months went on, this thing they had kept evolving, and his pet name went from a saucy barb to get her going to a sinful endearment that had slipped into their everyday banter. How did you sleep, baby? See you after my shift, baby. Pick me up some coffee cream on the way home, baby? Right there, baby, keep doing it just like that. Lie back and let me come in your pussy, baby. Evie rocked slowly as not to overtake him, but let the sounds of pleasure fill the bedroom. Not too loud, though. Here in Ryan’s top-floor apartment she didn’t have to worry about her noises carrying downwards. If they had been in her apartment, Seth would find himself privy to every moan Ryan invoked and every creak of the bed. There was no one downstairs but the fish she had fed that morning, but noise still carried. To Ryan, it was a challenge to make her pant and beg, and so as he raised his hips and thrust harder, he rubbed half-moons around her clit. ‘I hate it when you work late and I have to wait for this,’ he murmured, and after a quick glance over her shoulder at the television he lurched up. In the time it took to draw a sharp breath, Evie was on her back with her head crooked against the end of the bed. Ryan reached aside for the remote and cursed as he mashed the buttons with his fingers. The soundtrack in the room went from sitcom laughter to alternative rock, and the blinking lights coming from the concert stage on the television made the room flash with false lightning. Cock arced just above her pussy, Ryan loomed over her, white light flickering in his eyes as he worked her fat clit with one hand and penetrated her with the other. Evie could fill a notebook with the things she did with Ryan that made her feel so good she could have wept, but this was by far her favourite. There was nothing mystical about the way he used his fingers. There was no magic sparking from the tips and he was no sorcerer. He was just good at getting her off, laughing at her attempts to stay anchored as he worked her inside and out. She pressed the balls of her feet into the mattress and thrust her ass up to meet him, but as the moans poured out she clamped her hands across her mouth. ‘Are you all right?’ he asked, stopping so quickly her whole body juddered with the sudden absence of the torrid thrust of his fingers. She gulped a deep breath and lifted her head. ‘The window’s open. Seth is down–’ ‘Then let him shut his window or listen to me getting you off,’ he hissed. ‘If he doesn’t like it, he can write up a warning and slip it under the door. If you want my opinion, he’s probably down there with his cock out.’ Ryan dropped to his knees and hauled her to the edge of the bed. Slinging her legs over his shoulders, he spread her slippery lips apart and sealed his mouth around her soaked mound. His tongue picked up where his fingers had left off. Evie covered her mouth again, but as he went to the knuckle once more and his shoulders rolled, her lungs couldn’t take it. She grasped the bedding around her head and tried to suck in one deep breath, just one, but she couldn’t do it. There was too much desperate energy moving through her body. She took short puffs and expelled them in cries that pitched higher each time until she forgot all about the open window and the man sitting and smoking not far below. Ryan’s flicking tongue and the lube he had smeared upon her made a devastating combination. Opening up completely for him with her feet pressing into his shoulders, she turned her grasp on him. Two fists in his hair, she ground up, pushing and pulling as hard as she could. Ryan could take it. Hell, he’d want more if she could give it to him – she’d left her mark on him more than once: angry red streaks over his shoulders and down his back, criss-crossing his ass, complemented by teethmarks when she could get her mouth on him. The rough stuff only spurred him on. Ravenous moans and splutters exploded from between her legs, then vanished in the pulsing red tornado he’d created. She meant to push him away as she became hyper-sensitive, but her body wouldn’t obey, instead bucking up for more. It was Ryan who relented. Evie finally got her deep breath, only as a gasp as he rose and turned her over. He pushed her leg until she was sprawled out and bent at the knee. His shadow eclipsed her from the glow of the television, moving like a demon against the canvas of the bed as behind her its flesh-and-blood counterpart filled her. One hand on the bed alongside her head and the other on her neck, Ryan shoved fast and deep. Just like she knew how much he could take, he knew how much she could take, and how much she wanted. ‘That’s my bad girl,’ he said, words coming ragged from all around her, and then close and sinfully quiet. ‘I think not-so-deep down you like the idea of Seth hearing how much you love this.’ She’d forgotten about the open window. She dragged a bunch of duvet to her mouth and sobbed into it as the fat length speared her over and over. ‘Maybe the next time you come up that fire escape you can bring Seth on up with you, and we can give him the live show. Or maybe…’ He laughed and pinned her as her feverish mind filled in the rest. Pushing through the reddish-black fog was the picture of Seth sitting in the cheap club chair in the corner of the room, tattooed chest bared like it had been when he’d been retiling the foyer in the heat of the previous summer, rubbing himself through the boxers that had peeked from the waist of his shorts. She forced the vision away and quickly replaced her landlord with the blurred outline of some other man, some faceless intruder they’d one day take to bed, who leaned forward with a grin at Ryan’s slow withdrawal. Ryan’s sly chuckle was swallowed by a moan as he slammed into her again. It was as though he could see through her skin, see the thump-thump-thump of her heart; he matched it with his thrusts, the slight sting of his damp belly against her ass and the pulse of every pass of the head over her G-spot. It didn’t take long. Once he abandoned his hold on her neck and grasped her hips, Evie spat out the duvet and grasped the edge of the bed. Unlike hers, with its massive iron headboard that knocked the wall to the rhythm with which he rode her, his bed was a low platform that withstood lust’s fury. She saw stars bursting before her eyes as he fucked her. She tried to push up but couldn’t gather the strength against his, and so she simply bowed to him, ass up and face down, and fought for breath as he pumped her to the finish. His grip would leave bruises. It always did when they played at his place and didn’t have the aid of restraints tied to the head- and footboards to keep her under his thumb. She welcomed the nip of pain as she felt his strength flooding out of her. It didn’t matter which way he twisted her up when they were together. No matter what he said, whether his words were soft and coaxing or frothing through his teeth, in the end it was Evie who was victorious. She did this to him, and as he shuddered she wanted the entire world to know. She whimpered at his last shallow thrusts, then shuddered at his retreat. He crashed next to her, flat on his back, forearm draped over his eyes. After a moment, when she was ready to slip into sleep, his voice broke through the veil. ‘You need to eat.’ Evie giggled and rolled awkwardly on to her side. ‘Stop already.’ Pushing up on to his elbows, Ryan peered down at her with a grin. ‘Not even leftover egg rolls?’ She dragged the duvet over her shoulders and burrowed deep. ‘Will you get them for me?’ ‘What do I get in return?’ Evie lifted her head and screwed up her brows, and Ryan vibrated with laughter as he scrambled from the bed. ‘Is that how it’s going to work? I give you a good ride and you expect me at your beck and call?’ ‘No, the rides come with no conditions, but if you insist on crawling up my bum about not eating then you should have the decency to at least fetch my food for me.’ Face covered, she half-dozed as she listened to him first in the bathroom and then in the kitchen. She wasn’t tired, just rendered lazy. Working until nine on Thursdays was always a challenge, with little time to unwind before her body’s regular bedtime, and she’d finally wised up and taken Fridays off in exchange for having the Thursday-evening slot for the rest of summer. Ryan, on the other hand, had to be out the door at five in the morning, though she didn’t feel guilty about him staying up with her. You could hang him on a hook behind the bathroom door and he’d be out cold. He took the bus so he could grab a few more winks on the commute and had mastered the power-nap on breaks. She didn’t budge on his return. She stayed bundled up as he set the dish of egg rolls on the nightstand alongside two glasses of juice, and she breathed in the distinctive greasy smell that could only be found deep-fried into Chinese food, as he dug into his nightstand until he produced a barbecue lighter. ‘As I was saying, maybe we should give it a rest,’ he said as he gave the lighter three unsuccessful clicks. Evie closed her eyes and buried deeper. ‘And I said no.’ ‘Just a week to shake off some of the frustration.’ He finally got the thing to work and lit the candle on the nightstand. Almost immediately the smell of cinnamon and cloves mingled with the food aroma. ‘Is it just me, or do they all come in two varieties?’ he grumbled as he crawled into bed with her. ‘Dumb as shit, or creepy and middle-aged.’ ‘That’s pretty much my experience with online dating, period,’ she joked, then put up a fight for the blankets, giggling until he won his section of the duvet. With his knees wobbling against her ass, Ryan succeeded in making the bed as uncomfortable as possible for her. She sat up and gave him a smack on his bare chest. ‘Fuck off! I’ll eat!’ Grinning in the flicker of the television and candlelight, he made her a seat out of her pillows and one for himself. ‘So?’ he asked, tucking his hands behind his head. ‘Just a little break.’ ‘That will last for, what, two days before you start pacing the floor. Then you’ll be right back in front of your computer.’ His smile widened. ‘You think you know me so well.’ ‘I do know you so well. You’ve been doing the same thing since we started this search.’ She scuttled closer into his warmth, then reached for the food. ‘You have no patience. You can barely stand the wait when you bid on eBay. Just…settle down.’ She took a bite and offered him one, but he refused, instead pushing her hair from her shoulder and nuzzling in. ‘We could hire someone,’ she said quietly. He made a small disapproving sound as his mouth continued its trek. She tried to shrug him off to no avail, and so she tried not to smile as she took another mouthful. ‘I was on this website today before I went to work.’ ‘I don’t want an escort,’ he said, and when she shrugged him off again he backed off and shook his head. ‘I know the site you’re talking about. It was still in my browser history when I got home. You know what I saw when I looked at that site? Guys who would put their dick in anything for a buck, on camera and off.’ ‘They’re not all like that, and you have to admit there were some pretty hot guys on that site.’ ‘For ninety dollars an hour. You have that kind of money?’ ‘We only have to pay for it once, and it means we’d be in charge.’ Ryan shook his head, and in the television light she saw annoyance set briefly on the straight line of his mouth. ‘I don’t want to pay for it, just like I don’t want to go out to a club and just pick someone up. We’ve been through this.’ ‘Then you’re just going to have to be patient.’ She finished off her eggroll and set the plate back on the nightstand. ‘It’s kind of cute how worked up you are.’ Groaning, he reached past her for the second eggroll. ‘I don’t want to be cute. You can be the cute one.’ ‘Fine, you can be the neurotic one.’ Evie watched him eat, his eyes on the television. He wasn’t ignoring her. He was deep in thought again, asking himself whether they were making a mistake. She wondered if he really was so transparent. Had she always been able to read him so well? She couldn’t remember. It seemed unreal that there had been a time when they had been mere strangers. The first day she met Ryan, nearly mowing him over as she rolled a dolly carrying a bookcase into her apartment, she’d felt a click that knocked her back. She remembered thinking, there you are, as though they had merely been separated rather than seeing one another for the first time. In hindsight she could have sworn she’d seen the same on his face, but she couldn’t be sure. Since they had become lovers, she didn’t trust her view of the past. It was all tinted by the now. When she thought of sharing the elevator with Ryan in the weeks after she moved into the building, she only saw the soft eyes looking at her like she was the only person in the world who mattered. Watching him now, Evie wanted to pull him down and wipe the worried pucker at the corner of his mouth with a kiss. He was too serious too often, and if he didn’t feel as though he was accomplishing anything he’d wind tighter and tighter. ‘Let me do it for a little while,’ she suggested, even though she knew the answer. ‘I can make my own profile and we can compare notes.’ ‘No, that would get even more freaks and their dick-pics. Hand me my drink, would you?’ When she obliged, he wrapped his free arm around her and pulled her close. ‘Maybe it’s just a stupid fantasy and it’ll never happen.’ He stopped to take a drink, then rested his head upon hers. Distracted or not, she liked moments like these when there was nothing but his silence and warmth. She closed her eyes and turned her nose into his shoulder to breathe in the mixture of damp skin and his deodorant. ‘We could make a new profile,’ he said after a moment. ‘Both of us, and make it very clear what it is we want and what we don’t want.’ ‘You’re already doing that.’ ‘And half the messages I get are from guys who just want to fuck me and haven’t even bothered to look at my profile or noticed that we’re a couple.’ He squeezed her as he set his drink next to her plate, then patted the bedding down, looking for the remote. He killed the television and scooted down, pulling her so close they shared the same pillow. She pushed aside a fair streak of hair from where it fell over his forehead. ‘What makes you think it would be any different if we were both in the profile?’ ‘Most people click based on a picture. I do. Right now all they see is my bare chest, so anyone looking for a couple might scroll right on by if they just see a man. We’re putting it right out there what they’re getting. If anything, it will cut down on the amount of time I waste talking to guys who just want to get on my dick for an hour.’ Evie said nothing, and Ryan pressed his forehead to hers. ‘What?’ This wasn’t the first time she’d entertained this thought, and she liked it about as much now that it was on the tip of her tongue as when it was buried like an arrowhead in her gut. ‘It might be easier that way. I mean, if you meet with him alone the first time. Just a one-on-one session.’ ‘That’s not going to happen,’ he said quickly and sharply, then took a deep breath. ‘You’ve got to be there. I won’t do this without you. It’s for both of us.’ Beneath the covers, Ryan pushed his thigh between hers and cupped her ass. ‘You know this is as much about you as it is me. If I just wanted a fuck, I could get one in about five minutes. I want something more. I want you.’ There, another spark of words on the tip of her tongue. She wanted to say those three words so badly she felt them swelling in her chest until she burned. Yet she didn’t. She wouldn’t say it unless she was sure he’d say it back. The thought of letting those words free to wreak havoc without knowing for sure that Ryan would be there to rescue her was terrifying. Instead she put the force of those words into a kiss, twining her leg around him and struggling to rise up over him. ‘I want you, too,’ she whispered, and paused to be sure that she’d said those words and not the other words. He pushed his fingers into her hair, the sting as possessive as the hard mouth against hers. His grip remained unrelenting after she’d mounted him, and it spurred her to ride him as hard as he had ridden her. His eyes shone fierce in the candlelight, and she tried to imagine that gaze flicking over her shoulder to the man whose fingers linked with Ryan’s in the tangle of her hair. Chapter Two (#u71371f5a-3dad-573d-95ad-c07e56f00e3d) Ryan always was a morning person. He loved the hush that could only be found as the daylight began to stain the night sky and before the crows began their noisy morning conversation. He loved taking his coffee on to the fire escape and just decompressing with a book or morning radio before the day intruded. And lately he loved coming back to Evie in his bed. Between his coffee and his shower, he closed his eyes and synced his breathing to hers. She stirred as he made his reluctant retreat but didn’t wake, and the small happy sound she made almost called him back. He didn’t stay, but those five minutes when he snuggled up next to her and wrapped his arms around her stayed with him longer than the coffee. He’d conjure it midway through his shift, when he knew he still had four hours to go before he could head home and do nothing but wait for her workday to end. He’d linger at the bedside a moment longer and smile as she wiggled to the centre until she was just a small bump in the bed, and with a low groan he’d go to his shower. That morning he managed to keep his frustration at bay through his shower and dressing, but once he was at the bus stop with his earphones on it crept over him. The nerves had returned. Back when he and Evie had first started up and he was flirting with the idea of telling her his secret, his guts had twisted constantly. Sitting on the sofa with her in the crook of his arm, staring at the television but not really seeing it, nor really feeling the hard pebble of her nipple as he toyed with it beneath her sweater, he’d gone breathless with fear. By that point they’d started to divulge their tastes to each other. She trusted him enough to tell him about her penchant for being pushed down and treated like a plaything. She’d confessed that she’d never tried anal but had always wanted to, and had trusted him completely as he worked her up from a small vibrator to his cock. She’d bought the restraints that were now tucked away in the bottom drawer of her dresser. Her eyes went wide and she tried to keep her smile from getting too big every time she made a confession, and he could have burst with wanting to make her fantasies come true. And yet his own had been so hard to confess. He held back again and again, until one afternoon when he was at work and she was at home they texted back and forth, and after he asked her to send him a short video of her using her vibrator she asked if that was one of his fantasies to watch. Somehow his attempt at a little saucy fun turned into a discussion about how he had never told her any of his fantasies. When she seemed to be upset, he agreed to tell her when he got home. In bed, with Evie resting her chin on his chest and looking up at him, he had told her. He’d expected the worst when he revealed that he was bisexual. He couldn’t even make eye contact with her, instead talking to her chin and her neck. He didn’t want to see the excited glint in her eye fade as he told her he wanted to bring another man into bed with them. But Evie was limitless when it came to her curiosities, it seemed. She’d crawled along the length of his body and leaned forward, sheltering them both in the veil of her hair. ‘What would he do?’ she whispered against his mouth, and as he let loose one fantasy after another she rocked against him. He didn’t hold back. He spilled his guts and held her hips as she bobbed over his cock, and her climax squeezing around him was the most glorious feeling in the world riding on the weightlessness of his confession. He’d turned her over and kept talking as he fucked her, telling her not only what he wanted this other man to do to him but what he wanted them both to do to her. They’d carried on all night and then slept the day away, and Ryan had gone weak in the knees when she shuffled in his wake as he made a late breakfast. Hair mussed and eyes bright, the halves of her ass peeking from the hem of her nightshirt and still bearing the shape of his hand. She looked fearless to him. When she suggested they make his fantasy a reality he agreed. They should have just done it, he realised now as he flashed his transit pass to the driver and took the first empty seat on the bus. Gone out together, had a few drinks and found someone to bring home. That had been her suggestion, but he didn’t want some sloppy hook-up. He and Evie had fitted so well together that he didn’t want to risk ruining that with just anyone. So he’d made the profile online. 28M and 23F seeking another playmate. He’d used a selfie in front of the mirror as his profile picture. He’d been clear in his profile that he was looking for a bisexual man to join them. He was upfront about the games he and Evie played. The response had been immediate and disappointing: explicitly gay men who were only interested in Ryan, old men and young men, some just looking for a show via webcam and others bringing invitations to group events. How hard is it to find a bisexual guy in his late twenties to mid-thirties who doesn’t immediately come off as deranged? Agonisingly hard, apparently. He and Evie had thought they’d finally found someone last week, a barrel-chested man in his early forties. Both of them answered his messages and were optimistic. He communicated well and when Evie had sent him a below-neck picture in her bra and panties he had been respectfully complimentary. His interest was in both of them but, just as they entertained the idea of asking for a meeting, the man lost interest following a discussion about kink. He said that he didn’t think they were compatible, that his tastes were more intense than what they were used to, and that it was best that they didn’t waste one another’s time. That’s the version that Evie got. She hadn’t known about the one Ryan had deleted where REDWOLF77 had grilled him about his relationship with Evie, then questioned whether Ryan really could keep it together while watching another man treating Evie to the same savage loving as Ryan’s. Can you honestly say that you’d have no problem watching me tie her hands over her head, stuff her own panties in her mouth and fuck her until she can’t stop shaking? I think you would. You come off as very protective of her. I think we’d have a problem in a hurry. Up until that point he had been wrapped up in Evie and living out those filthy fairy tales they spun together. He’d close his eyes to think about her shivering as he and another man closed in on her and in minutes he’d be seeing stars while a sticky mess ran down his hand. He was dying to know if she’d make the same sounds while another man used his tongue on her, if she’d bite her lip or if she’d buck and scream as she took a cock that wasn’t his. Would she touch herself when another man puckered his mouth around Ryan’s dick? Would she come, or would she wait for one of them – or both of them – to take her there? He needed time to process the doubt REDWOLF77 had poisoned him with. He’d wanted to give up after that, but Evie had insisted they keep trying. Now part of him hoped they never found a suitable match so he wouldn’t have to find out he couldn’t handle watching Evie with another man, while the other part of him couldn’t stand not knowing. He’d been so concerned with making sure that Evie wanted this as much as he did that he didn’t stop to wonder whether he would be the one who got cold feet. And now he had them, and he didn’t know what to do with them. He got off the bus in front of the hospital and grabbed a second cup of coffee from the cafeteria before heading to his locker, where his heart kicked at the sight of the photo he kept taped to the inside. It was taken before they had gone from friends to lovers: he and Evie when they had both been struck down with a cold in the same week. They looked terrible with red and raw noses and unwashed hair, but it had been a good day of being lazy on the sofa watching DVDs. She’d tried to hide her face when he took out his phone but he’d tucked his fingers into her armpits and tickled her, and the shot he got was a little blurry but made him deliriously happy whenever he saw her smile. He’d almost gone crazy with wanting to kiss her, even with the runny nose and puffy eyes. REDWOLF77 was right. He was protective of her. He loved her. God, he loved her. He couldn’t bring himself to say it, but that didn’t stop him from loving her. If she gave him any indication whatsoever that she wanted to end this he’d do it, but his Evie was fearless. Which was why he needed to be sure he found the right man. Not for him, but for her. For them. Someone he could trust not to hurt her. Someone he could trust not to take her away from him. Coming out of her apartment, fingers flying over the screen to return Ryan’s text, Evie didn’t see the wall of plaid and hair standing on the other side of the door until she walked into it. ‘Jesus!’ Seth stepped back as she jumped, and returned her smile with a scolding look. ‘Maybe they should start giving out tickets for walking with those things.’ ‘Or you could stop being a dinosaur, trade in that flip-phone and start communicating like someone your own age,’ she countered, hand still against her throat as her heart crawled back down where it belonged. She leaned in the doorway and looked down at the toolbox in his hand. ‘Is there a problem?’ ‘You didn’t get my notice?’ She shook her head. ‘Why do I bother? I got my grant. I need to measure the windows on the inside, and while I’m in there I thought I’d run the tape through the whole place and check out that slow drain of yours.’ ‘Planning to evict me?’ ‘Never, though I expect I’ll be getting your notice to quit in the fall when you finally move upstairs.’ ‘Shush,’ she said, though he was probably right. She’d spent more time in Ryan’s apartment since moving in than she had in her own, and Ryan had already teased that he should start making space for her in his closet. ‘The bathroom is kind of grungy, but that’s nothing new. Go ahead.’ She stepped aside, and Seth looked down her body. ‘No work today?’ ‘I always have the day off after I do evenings.’ His first look had been nothing more but a quick intake of the green leggings and white sneakers she wore, but the second was slower, more discreet. It was the same look she got on the elevator with him when she first came to look at the apartment, and, just like she had to keep back her giggle then, she had to do it now as she watched him tuck his interest away. When she first moved into the building, she became a little giddy whenever she ran into Seth. ‘Sex on legs’ was how she described him to her sister once. Not at all her type, not like Ryan, but he certainly fitted nicely into those fantasies that had yet to be indulged by a young woman out on her own for the first time. In her imagination, Seth had her on her knees in the elevator or bound to the cage down in the storage basement, or even bent over the banister outside her apartment with his hand in her hair. She would have settled for a hard screw in her virgin bed and was on the verge of asking him for a drink when Ryan became a fixture, and her fantasies about Seth were overtaken by the flutter she got just thinking about her adorable neighbour. Then, once Ryan told her about Seth’s wife, she couldn’t meet Seth without feeling a little sad. It was a little funny watching him walk into her apartment now, the picture of manliness with broad shoulders covered in plaid and the ink on display from the elbow down where his sleeves were rolled up, but wearing moccasin slippers, his usual uniform. A horrifying thought struck her as he headed for the bathroom, and she followed behind him. ‘Oh, I think I forgot my phone. I’ll just be a second and I’ll be out of your hair.’ As he turned on the bathroom light and set his toolbox aside, Evie veered off into the bedroom. The bed was made – she hadn’t slept in it for days – but a tangle of sheets was the least of her concerns. Evie peeked back to make sure Seth was still turned away from her, then quickly untied the nylon restraints from the head and footboard and dropped them into the hamper. She did another quick check around the room but there was nothing else, no handcuffs carelessly tossed on to the vanity table and no vibrators or plugs mingled with the bottles of nail polish and pots of creams. ‘So, do you need to use the toilet before you go?’ Seth asked, appearing in her bedroom door as she finished her perusal. ‘No, I’m good.’ She smiled up at him as she replaced her purse across her chest. She hated to admit it, but just watching him lean on the threshold had the potential to get her really horny really fast. ‘I think you probably should,’ he said, holding her gaze with a crooked smile, and mortification gushed through her. She clapped her hands over her eyes and groaned. ‘Oh, shit, I’m so sorry.’ ‘I’ve seen worse,’ he said with a quiet chuckle as she rushed past him to the bathroom. Laid on the lip of the tub where they had been left to dry was a row of vibrators in various colours. ‘Define worse,’ she groaned, then held up her hand. ‘No, please don’t. I don’t want to hear about the fucking machine the middle-aged couple downstairs has in their spare bedroom.’ ‘You need to run up to Ryan’s and do a sweep?’ She swivelled around and frowned. ‘You’re having too much fun with this, aren’t you?’ ‘I don’t have a neatly arranged line of vibrators air-drying in my bathroom, so I’m actually feeling a little bad about myself at the moment.’ He slipped a hand into his breast pocket and pulled out his cigarettes. ‘I’ll give you a minute to put those away and dismantle the sex swing in the closet.’ ‘You’re not funny,’ she called after him, and quickly gathered up her freshly washed toys. She was pretty sure she didn’t need to check Ryan’s place, as they hadn’t used any toys the night before, but after she called out her goodbye to Seth she went up to check anyway. She’d already missed her bus to the mall, and so she sank down on the end of Ryan’s bed and pulled up her text app. Seth saw my toys in the bathroom and now I think I’m going to die. Not the anal beads! came the reply almost immediately. He must have been at the nurse’s station or on break. You’re not mature enough to be my boyfriend. I’m not the one with a vibrator shaped like a dolphin. Evie flopped back on the bed and dragged the pillows over her face. She supposed her smell was in there somewhere, but all that filled her head was Ryan. What would have happened if you had given up on Ryan and asked Seth to come in one night? She tried to push the question away, but it refused to be banished. She rolled over, closed her eyes and cuddled into the pillow as she would have done if he was holding her in his arms. She knew now it probably would have ended badly. Now that she knew Seth better, she could see that they might have burned hot to start, but he would have left her charred. On those nights when they sat together on the fire escape she could feel the blackness inside him seep out to join the shadows around him. Some nights he drank too much and fell silent for long stretches. Other nights he caught himself before he said Rita’s name. It’s possible that Seth would have indulged her fantasies like Ryan did, but even if she had been able to withstand his darkness, there still would have been Ryan. He still would have knocked her world off its axis, and things would have become messy. She pressed the pillow against her face and breathed deeply, and then guilt pricked her. Ryan would be furious if he knew she had gone ahead and made a second profile online. Not on the free site he had been trying, but one that cost her a tidy chunk off her credit card. She couldn’t take waiting any longer. If she wasn’t driven out of her mind by those filthy things he whispered in her ear while he played with her, she was twisted into knots watching his impatience grow. In the three hours since she’d created the profile, she’d received almost twenty replies. There was a definite improvement, but no one had grabbed her so far. She hadn’t replied and wouldn’t until one of them really attracted her, and then she’d tell Ryan about it, let him have a little sulk and then show him what she’d found. If none of them appealed to her, she’d just close the account and think of all the things she could have bought with the money she’d spent. ‘Fuck! Goddamn motherfucking cocksucking bitch!’ Evie tossed the pillow aside and went to the window. She could see movement below, and when she pushed the window open all the way and poked her head out she couldn’t help her laughter. Seth stood on the landing, soaked from the waist up. ‘Find the leak?’ she called to him. He shot her a look as filthy as his language, then tugged his ponytail free. ‘I busted a pipe.’ ‘But my vibrators are OK?’ The fury he directed towards her made her giggle, and Seth followed suit as he shook his soaked hair. ‘As long as they’re waterproof,’ he said, and leaned back against the railing. ‘It’s not that bad. I’ll clean up the floor before you get home but I’m going to have to call the plumber. Oh, look at this dirty little fucker coming to gloat.’ Marco had pattered up the fire escape and now rubbed himself against Seth’s calves. Seth wrung out his hair and flung the water at his pet. Marco jerked but nonetheless resumed his worship. ‘I’ll throw your towels in the wash, too,’ he called up, but Evie just shook her head. ‘Don’t worry about it. I’ve got to do a load tomorrow anyway. Just hang them up and I’ll get them. You going to the hardware store?’ He picked the cat up and cradled it in one arm. ‘Wasn’t planning on it, but I am now.’ ‘Good. I’ll go with you. There’s a dollar store next door and I need a few things, then I’ll make you a tea while you fix my busted pipe. Hey, Seth!’ He looked up again, and Evie snapped a picture. ‘You put that on the Internet and I’ll kill you,’ he warned. ‘How would you know? You have a flip-phone. You probably still have an AOL account. If I put it online you’ll never find it. Change your shirt. I’ll meet you downstairs.’ She sent the photo to Ryan as she headed out. Caught the landlord getting some pussy wet on the fire escape. Too bad he kept his shirt on. He’s got a great chest. ‘Oh,’ she said, sitting on the bottom step by the mailboxes. Even after all this, it still surprised her when he said things like this and reminded her that he actually looked at other men and found them attractive. She flashed back to the night before when he’d teased her about bringing Seth into the fold, and she actually felt faint. If only. None of this online bullshit or getting a feel for a potential playmate. Just the three of them getting wild between the sheets. The thump of Seth’s boots on the stairs jarred her out of the porno playing out in her head. He’d changed from his red plaid into a green T-shirt and had let his damp hair hang free around his shoulders. ‘You ready to go?’ Seth asked. Evie nodded and followed behind him. ‘You have no idea.’ Chapter Three (#u71371f5a-3dad-573d-95ad-c07e56f00e3d) Passing by Evie’s door, Ryan heard the profanity and laughed under his breath. Most people expected Seth to be either crass or a gentle giant. For most of the time, the landlord fitted the latter category – but when he slipped into the former, man, could he ever swear. He made cussing an art form. It stopped when Ryan knocked on the doorjamb. ‘Need a hand?’ Seth turned around and raised his thick brows. ‘No offence, but you don’t look like you know how to even unclog a drain.’ Ryan crossed his arms over his chest. ‘I know how to put in a catheter. Do you?’ ‘What is that? Some kind of threat?’ ‘I’m just pointing out that we both know a bit about plumbing.’ Seth shuddered. ‘That might just be the most disgusting thing anyone has ever said to me, and I suppose I deserved that. No, I don’t need any help. I’m almost done. I’m just sitting here pissed off at myself for fucking up to begin with and then not being able to get a plumber. Evie’s at your place, if you’re looking for her. She was chopping up veggies for something when I left her.’ Ryan couldn’t help the thorn of possessiveness that pricked him every time he found out that Evie and Seth had been hanging out. Christ, how could he not? Look at Seth. If Ryan was still in denial about his sexuality, Seth Axworthy would have pushed him over the edge. He didn’t think he really had anything to worry about, though. Seth was still dealing with losing Rita, and Evie…well, he’d like to think that Evie had chosen him over other men, including Seth, but he knew that Evie still had a little crush on him. He had to trust her or go out of his mind every minute they weren’t together. ‘Heard you got a little surprise when you were in here earlier,’ Ryan teased, and Seth guffawed even as he strained against his pipe wrench like he was trying to pull Excalibur from the stone. ‘Yeah, quite the colourful collection. Could have been worse. She could have known I saw the stuff on the bed before she ran in here to clean it up.’ Ryan laughed sheepishly. ‘You’ve seen worse.’ ‘That’s what I told her, but I didn’t elaborate. I didn’t want to scar her for life.’ ‘Thanks, I appreciate that.’ He hiked his backpack up his shoulder and watched as Seth wiped his brow with his bare forearm, and he couldn’t help remembering the last time he’d seen Seth sitting on the floor of a bathroom. Rita had been there, sitting on the toilet seat with a beer in one hand and Marco, the kitten she’d fished out of the dumpster a few weeks ago, on her lap. When sweat got in her husband’s eyes, she automatically reached out and wiped it away with her sleeve, then tucked the beer into his hand. Ryan couldn’t begin to imagine how lonely it must be for Seth to be on his own after Rita passed. He didn’t see much of her, save for once, close to the end, when Seth was lifting her out of the car. She hadn’t even looked like herself. Even with all he’d seen at the hospital, Ryan had nearly blanched with horror at her skeletal frame before stepping forward to offer his help. He’d received a warning look from Seth and backed off, and a few weeks later she was gone. As badly as he wanted to go upstairs and lock himself in with Evie at that moment, he found the words tugging at the tip of his tongue. ‘Hey, why don’t you come up when you’re done? There’s always too much left over.’ Seth grunted with effort. ‘It’ll be a while.’ ‘Then we’ll get shitfaced on cheap wine until you’re ready. We’re fun drunks.’ The throaty sound Ryan first mistook for a chuckle revealed itself as a growl as Seth settled back. ‘I wish people would stop doing that.’ There it was, the same warning as that day outside with Rita, only with more menace. Ryan shifted uncomfortably, wishing he’d just kept his mouth shut. ‘I’m sorry.’ ‘I don’t need to be pitied,’ Seth went on, grimacing as he fought with the pipe. His next words came out as a hiss through his teeth. ‘I don’t need pity. I’m not some sad old man sitting around with his cat and a TV dinner, and I got enough free food after the funeral.’ ‘I didn’t mean –’ ‘No one ever does,’ Seth snapped, and cursed again before sitting back. He shook his head, and for a horrifying moment, as he pinched the bridge between his eyes, Ryan worried his landlord was going to cry. ‘Evie’s waiting for you. She kept checking the clock while I was up there. Go. I’ll slip a note under the door when I’m finished, though she might as well stay the night up there.’ Ryan took a step back. He lingered even though he wished he had the ability to teleport upstairs, or at the very least erase chunks of time like the last minute. Seth shot him another warning look, and then he laughed. It seemed to Ryan as though the other man was laughing at himself. ‘Get out of here before I make you help me.’ Ryan quietly exhaled. Free with no hard feelings. ‘If you change your mind, we’ll be upstairs.’ As soon as he locked the door behind him, Ryan dropped his pack and went in search of Evie. He found her sitting on his bed, feet bare and hanging over the edge of the bed as she channel surfed. She turned and smiled, and before she could say anything he leaned down and kissed her. Aside from the small sound of surprise at his intensity, Evie gave in to his kiss immediately. She let the remote drop and cupped his face, and when he’d leached enough good vibes from her with that kiss and lifted his head, she was ready with a smile. ‘Bad day?’ ‘A little bit, but mostly I missed you,’ he said quickly, deciding instantly that he wouldn’t share the moment downstairs with Seth. He straightened and stripped off his coat and his uniform, then sat on the edge of the bed – close enough so that his shoulder pressed against hers – and removed his shoes and socks. ‘What smells so good?’ ‘Chicken soup. I found the recipe online and made a huge pot. We’ll be eating it for days.’ She wrapped her arms around his neck and dropped a ring of soft kisses beneath his ear, making him shiver. ‘Did you miss me?’ ‘You have no idea.’ He rested his temple against hers, then chuckled. ‘Didn’t I tell you to wash your toys in my dishwasher?’ ‘Oh, shush.’ She smacked a kiss on his cheek and drew back. ‘Go shower. You smell like hospital. I’ll set the table.’ He caught her by the wrist as she drew away and hauled her into his lap. ‘Come with me.’ ‘I just got out of the shower, and besides, you’ll be too relaxed to eat –’ ‘I don’t mean that. I just…’ He slipped his arm around her waist, her warmth bleeding into him. ‘I just want to be closed in with you for a little while.’ She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. ‘Are you all right?’ Ryan pressed his lips together. He was suddenly breathless, desperate to wrap his arms around her so tight he couldn’t tell which was her heart beating and which was his. ‘Let’s take it easy tonight, OK? Just hang out on the couch together. I’ll let you pick the show.’ He smiled, then gave her bottom lip a delicious nibble. ‘I’m feeling a little nostalgic for the days when we just talked and talked until we fell asleep.’ ‘Am I wearing you out?’ she teased, then squealed as he gave the meat of her ass a hard slap. ‘That’ll never happen, but even sex fiends like us need to take a break every once in a while.’ He kissed her again, slowly and tenderly, until she sighed against his lips, and moments later, as the hot water poured over them, he mouthed against her damp hair what he couldn’t bring himself to say to her face. Even without the sex, Ryan was out like a light by eight o’clock. One minute they were muttering together, his head on her lap as they watched The X-Files, and the next his low snore vibrated against her. She kept stroking his hair as he slept, and when she was sure he was in a deep enough sleep not to stir she dragged her phone from the table alongside the sofa and opened the dating app. In total, she had received 42 messages since she created her profile. The picture she had used was completely unremarkable, just a grainy webcam shot of the lower half of her face and delving only as far as her midsection where the desk cut it off. A few were just looking for a good time for a night, but the majority of her responses were genuinely interested in what she proposed. The quality of respondents seemed to improve as well. Only premium members could contact her unless she contacted them first. She hadn’t seen anyone who downright scared her yet. In fact, she had kept messages from five men. The most risqu? photo shared with her was of a man with his shirt open to the navel and his trousers opened to reveal an impressive bulge inside white undies. She read through them again and studied the pictures, trying to imagine this body moving on top of her or those hands closing in Ryan’s hair, and she kept going back to one messenger who had introduced himself as David. He had videos posted, too. Short clips of him with both men and women, and watching them had given her a queer mixture of arousal and trepidation. She could never really get aroused by the genuine porn she and Ryan sometimes watched together. Like most straight porn, it was too campy to do anything more than make her snicker. David’s shaky, grainy videos were nothing to chuckle at. For the most part he was the faceless entity behind the camera, murmuring edicts to his partner – or partners – as they knelt before him, or panting and groaning as he fucked them. Unlike most, he had a photo of his face. Not some blurry selfie but a candid shot of him at the beach, squinting into the sun. Glancing from the phone to her sleeping partner, Evie wondered if Ryan would say David was his type. Did he have a type? She wasn’t sure. Browsing on the free site he seemed to gravitate towards the young and fit, like him, but she suspected he had a taste for older, more experienced men. She’d catch him lingering just a few seconds longer on profiles of men who looked a little rough, and she suspected that deep down he had a thing for bad boys. REDWOLF77 had been a mixture of the two types with his polished exterior and aggressive smile. She took one last look at David’s profile, then set her phone aside. She’d make up her mind tomorrow whether to reply to him, and then she’d decide whether to tell Ryan. ‘Hey,’ she whispered and stroked his cheek. ‘Hey, wake up.’ He sniffed and shifted on to his side, and with a deep sigh opened his eyes. ‘My legs are falling asleep,’ she told him. He caught her fingers and pulled them to his lips. ‘Come to bed with me?’ ‘It’s too early.’ He flashed a droopy smile. ‘Come with me anyway. You can watch TV in bed. It’s more comfortable than this lumpy sofa.’ ‘You just crashed on this lumpy sofa.’ Ryan groaned as he got up. ‘I’m not a chronic insomniac like you.’ They turned off the big television and Ryan pulled her along, his feet shuffling on the laminate contrasting with the naughty smile he flashed her. ‘Don’t you even act like you’re not going to crash in about five seconds,’ she teased from her side of the bed as he wriggled out of his clothes. ‘Don’t you underestimate my stamina,’ he quipped, then dived beneath the covers, yet by the time she’d changed into his most comfortable T-shirt he was dozing once more. She made it through one episode of an 80s sitcom on Netflix before she popped out of the bed again. She went to Ryan’s computer and pulled up a new private browser window, then logged into her secret profile and typed in response to David’s initial greeting. Hey to you, too. Nice pictures. Even nicer videos. Care to – A shiver went through her and she looked towards the bedroom, but in spite of the feeling creeping through her she found no one there. No one save for the lithe shadow that crept through the open window. She closed the laptop and stood. ‘Marco, you know you’re not allowed to be in here. Big Poppa is going to swing you by your tail if you keep sneaking around like a big perv.’ The cat’s attempt to evade her was a miss, and it meowed indignantly as she went to the window. ‘Seth! You down there?’ She listened and could hear voices, but she was too far up to tell whether it was from the television or he had a visitor. With Marco resigned to his captivity and purring against her chest, she stepped on to the fire escape and descended. She’d reached her window when a cool breeze reminded her that she didn’t have any panties on. She cursed, then cursed again when a tug on her window confirmed that after Seth had finished in there he must have locked it. And another sound confirmed that it wasn’t the television she heard. Seth had company. Good company, if that woman’s moan she heard was any indication. ‘Eep,’ she whispered on the top of the cat’s head and looked back up. She supposed she could keep Marco for the night and he’d probably wander out by himself, but the more likely scenario would be that Seth would go looking for the cat before settling in for the night. ‘Do me a favour, would you? Just this once, do as you’re told,’ she whispered, and as quietly as she could she descended a little further. Without peeking around into the window, Evie put the cat inside on the sill, but the little bastard just strutted back out and started to follow. No amount of shooing or wild gestures would get him to move, so she took a deep breath and picked him up again, then crouched right in front of the window. Seth had company all right. A woman she’d never seen before, lying in his recliner, legs draped over the arms and panties hanging by one ankle. She had her hand on Seth’s head, which bobbed between her legs, and she was crowing louder and louder. Evie threw the cat in and was gone before its feet landed on the floor. On the way up she heard murmuring and then giggling. After shutting the window behind her and closing the one in the bedroom to only a crack, she returned to the computer and discarded her message to David, then went to the bed. ‘Wake up, I have to tell you something,’ she hissed at Ryan as she shook his shoulder. He sat up. ‘What’s wrong?’ ‘Nothing’s wrong. I just need to rub something in your face.’ ‘What?’ She giggled and scooted deeper under the covers. ‘Seth is down there eating out some woman.’ Ryan stared at her a moment, then clapped his hand over his bleary eyes and laughed. ‘What?’ ‘I think Marco was ashamed to watch. He came up here and so I took him back down, and there was Seth on his knees with his face in some red-head’s crotch.’ She grinned and punched him in the shoulder. ‘And you said he was still too busted up about Rita to get involved with someone.’ ‘Are you sure he wasn’t, I don’t know, wiping up something she spilled on…her crotch…you know, with his tongue?’ Evie threw a pillow over her face and hooted into it, and the bed shook as Ryan joined in. ‘How long did you stand there and watch?’ ‘Three seconds, tops. I had that delayed reaction where my brain needed to catch up to my eyeballs. Then I threw Marco in and came back in here. That cat is going to be pissed the next time he sees me.’ ‘Did they see you?’ ‘God, I hope not. It’s bad enough thinking he can hear our sex noises without adding that to the mix.’ She stuffed the pillow under her head and grinned back at him. ‘I told you so.’ Ryan opened his mouth but caught what he was about to say and pressed his lips together. She gave him a light kick under the covers. ‘What is it?’ He puckered his mouth into a scowl, then lost it in a chuckle. ‘I think this might be my fault.’ ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Sighing, he shifted closer to her. ‘Tonight when I passed your place I dropped in and invited him up and he took it the wrong way. He thought I was feeling sorry for him – which I was – and went all angry dog on me.’ ‘Oh, no.’ ‘Oh, yeah. So it’s possible he’s down there fucking that woman to spite me.’ Evie raised her brows. ‘I hope she comes up here and thanks you afterwards.’ ‘That good?’ ‘Not that I could see his technique, but if the sounds she made were any indication I’d say Seth has got a gold medal in clit gymnastics.’ Ryan flopped on to his back and laughed until he wheezed, then wiped tears away as he looked back to her. ‘You think we should ask him up so he can show me a thing or two?’ ‘I think you’re doing just fine.’ ‘But I only have a silver medal. I have big dreams, you know.’ ‘You may only have the silver medal, but you deserve the gold.’ She leaned over and kissed him, giving his tongue a quick swipe with hers. He raised his head to deepen the kiss, but she drew back. ‘You’ll conk out if you try, and then I might really have to invite Seth up here.’ ‘Cruel woman and your wicked words.’ He pulled her close and buried his nose in her hair, making a warm and tingly spot where he breathed. ‘Good for him, though. I mean, even if he’s not ready to date there’s no reason why he can’t at least have a bit of fun. Did you recognise her?’ ‘Nope.’ ‘I’ll bet he found her online,’ he said, then lowered his voice with his renewed laughter. ‘I’ll bet he found her on the same site we’re on. I’ll bet he’s seen our profile. Maybe he’s one of those guys who messaged me to tell me how badly he wants to come on my chest while you stick a massive dildo up his bum.’ ‘That did not really happen, did it?’ ‘Actually, it did. I delete those kinds of messages before you have a chance to see them.’ ‘I don’t know whether to be annoyed or to thank you.’ ‘Trust me, if I showed you a picture of some old man’s hand covered in his own jizz, you’d be more than annoyed with me.’ ‘Uck.’ As Ryan’s lids started to droop again, Evie stroked his cheek to have one more minute with him before he went under. ‘I’m happy for him, and I guess that gives us something to be optimistic about. If Seth can get himself a playmate, there’s no reason why we can’t.’ Ryan’s smile only reached one side as he tucked her hand against his chest, and then he was asleep. Though she still wasn’t ready for bed, Evie stayed with him and watched with one thought running through her mind. And if we can’t, will this be good enough? Chapter Four (#u71371f5a-3dad-573d-95ad-c07e56f00e3d) Evie’s email came while he was having lunch in the cafeteria. He didn’t even need to read it to know it was bad news. Evie might have an adventurous streak, but when it came to owning up to something she was a complete chicken about it. Good or bad, she broke her bigger news via email. Ryan had just bitten into an apple when he pulled up his email app and read the subject line: Don’t be mad. Tapping the screen with his pinkie as sticky juice ran down his arm, Ryan wondered what major ordeal she was facing now. The likely transgression was that she’d broken something of his, or she wasn’t paying attention and accidentally watered his fern with black coffee. Whatever it was would make him chuckle and give him something to relentlessly tease her with for a while. Then he read the email. He set his phone aside and thumped his head on the tabletop. After a moment he rose and swept the remains of his lunch on to his tray, tossed it and went to stand in the coffee line. He ordered himself his usual and headed for the stairwell leading up to his floor, but he didn’t go up. He leaned against the concrete wall and read through Evie’s email. Don’t be mad but I did something. I signed up for one of those paid websites and I got a few responses that are worthwhile. There’s this one guy (David) I want you to look at that’s messaged me twice. I haven’t responded yet. Login with the same info as the other site. P.S. Don’t be mad. See you tonight. ‘Jesus, Evie.’ He checked his watch, and with fifteen minutes to go before he had to be back on the floor he sat down on the step and opened the app store. Just a few minutes later he had logged into the account Evie had created. He looked at the profile in which David identified himself as an actively bisexual man looking for a couple into mild kink. He read David’s initial message reiterating this, including a picture of himself barely covered by bathwater, and asking Evie to send a similar picture of herself and her boyfriend if she was interested. He looked at the other photos David had posted. He was a fit young man with a body-type like his and a sexy smirk. He turned the volume of his phone all the way down and played three videos: one of David jerking off, another of him fucking a woman from behind while she sucked another man, and a video in which he went deep into a man’s ass. Ryan replayed the last video and his cock stirred. It wasn’t just the act of penetration that aroused him, it was the way David’s fingers dug into the other man’s cheeks, turning the skin white around fingertips, and the muscles in the man’s back shuddering as David thrust forward. It was like the video had been plucked out of his own fantasies. He’d got off a few times on something like this, arching his back as he stroked his cock and imagined being pushed and pulled over another man’s cock. It was rare these days that his hunger was his alone. The idea of going to bed with another man was so wrapped up in Evie’s presence now that he could hardly separate the two, but as he played the video again he pictured himself in such a supplicating pose, gripping the bedding as this man, this David, pounded him. Before his erection became too prominent and he was forced to make an impromptu trip to the washroom to relieve himself, Ryan put his phone to sleep and walked to his floor. Not until his next break did he touch it again, sending Evie a text instead of replying to her email. Not mad. Will message him after work. Don’t be too late. He was halfway home a couple of hours later when he got her reply of XOX. Once he showered, he went into the bedroom with his computer and brought up David’s profile again. He didn’t hit reply, but went back to the video. He grabbed the first bottle of lube he could find in the nightstand, the green apple stuff Evie loved, and jerked off hard and fast to the rhythm of David’s hips. He placed his other hand over the first and his cock throbbed as he imagined David behind him, cock hard and pressed against his back, guiding Ryan’s hand as he said things that Evie was usually the recipient of. You want me inside you? Come for me first. Come all over my hand and I’ll give you exactly what you’re begging for. His cock jerked and euphoria flooded him as he erupted over his hand. He lapsed back, so sapped of energy that he couldn’t keep his eyes open even as his whole body still gave off throb after delicious throb. Just ten minutes later he woke with a jerk, then looked down at the mess he’d left on himself. Moving the laptop and the sheets with two fingers, he managed to get out of bed without making it worse and hopped into the shower. ‘Evie and her big ideas,’ he muttered as he scrubbed his hair clean, then chuckled. If this worked out, he’d never see the end of that smug twist of her lips. When he’d patted himself dry he returned to the bed, naked. He opened the webcam software and aimed the laptop so the screen captured his damp body from his hips to his chin, then set the timer. As soon as he had a good shot, he hit reply and attached the photo to his message. Nice videos. Here’s a picture of me. More to come after we chat for a bit. By the time he’d dressed and made himself a cup of tea and a sandwich to hold himself over until Evie’s return, David had replied. Nice, though I would have liked to see what’s below the waist. Don’t tell me your girl is shy – if there is a girl. There are a lot of men looking for straight men who use couples pictures. If it is her, you’re a lucky man. I’d like to see you both. Ryan liked the man’s suspicion and liked that he was upfront from the get-go. I’ve got pictures, but, like I said, it’s her call. They exchanged messages for an hour, talking likes and dislikes. Ryan was upfront with David as he had been with REDWOLF77. He and Evie were up for just about anything, but it was up to Evie to lead or decide to pass the torch of power. She had submissive tendencies and Ryan was a switch. They were willing to push limits with the B&D, but the S&M would be limited to milder forms. And Ryan was upfront about his limited experience with men. Mostly experimental stuff. I had a few experiences with pegging – not with my girl. Other women. Big? Average. Good, because I’m average. Ryan felt comfortable after he signed off, and when Evie poked her head in with a contrite look he laughed and held out his arm. ‘Come on over here.’ She dropped her messenger bag at the door and crossed the room to tuck into the crook of his arm. ‘I know you said you’re not mad, but –’ ‘I’m really not mad. I messaged him. He seems all right, but I think we should make a better profile and talk to other people.’ He wrapped his other arm around her. ‘You up for taking some pictures tonight for our new friend?’ Конец ознакомительного фрагмента. Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес». Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию (https://www.litres.ru/am-hartnett/cross-my-heart/?lfrom=688855901) на ЛитРес. Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.