Winter at West Sands Guest House: A debut feel-good heart-warming romance perfect for 2018

Winter at West Sands Guest House: A debut feel-good heart-warming romance perfect for 2018 Maggie Conway Can Eva find love this Christmas?Eva Harris has her hands full juggling a young son, a disobedient dog and running her thriving seaside guesthouse, so really the last thing she needs is to be distracted by her new neighbour, ridiculously handsome but arrogant Ben Matthews.For one thing, she’s got nothing in common with the man, Ben’s a high flying lecturer at the town’s university while she barely scraped through high school, for another he’s fresh out of a relationship while Eva hasn’t been on one single date since the death of her husband, seven years ago!She’s determined to keep her distance, but in a small town like St Andrews that’s easier said than done, and it doesn’t help that everyone, including her son Jamie, think Ben is wonderful! Breaking out of her sad but safe little bubble might be the hardest thing she’s ever had to do, but Ben might just be worth the risk…Perfect for fans of Jules Wake, Heidi Swain and Phillipa Ashley.Praise for Winter at West Sands Guest House…‘A great Christmas read.’ Grace at Good’n’Ready-y‘Pick this wonderful book up’ Amazon Customer‘It was heartwarming’ BananaTricky Head to Scotland and find love this winter! Eva Harris has her hands full juggling a teenaged son, a disobedient dog, and running her thriving seaside guest house, so really the last thing she needs is to be distracted by her new neighbour, ridiculously handsome but arrogant Ben Matthews. For one thing, she’s got nothing in common with the man – Ben’s a high-flying lecturer at the town’s university while she barely scraped through high school – for another he’s fresh out of a relationship while Eva hasn’t been on one single date since the death of her husband, seven years ago! She’s determined to keep her distance, but in a small town like St Andrews that’s easier said than done, and it doesn’t help that everyone, including her son Jamie, thinks Ben is wonderful! Breaking out of her sad but safe little bubble might be the hardest thing she’s ever had to do, but Ben might just be worth the risk … Winter at West Sands Guest House Maggie Conway ONE PLACE. MANY STORIES Contents Cover (#u8a2f2765-3fa0-57d2-b894-c7fa9b8a2b6b) Blurb (#u8d320922-3902-5c20-843d-7d4c621e5164) Title Page (#ua7346706-e575-510e-9a87-691772d98985) Author Bio (#ufd120eed-c43d-5807-8ed9-96f56fd25930) Acknowledgements (#ulink_9200e525-3b04-5049-aaa2-9694f6ec4ce7) Dedication (#uf27cd2c3-e864-5d1e-83d4-2be1fb49c570) Chapter One (#ulink_d73f5478-0ca0-5925-a1f0-50a9bd35841d) Chapter Two (#ulink_491b4c16-75df-5616-8c36-973b3c5f1a99) Chapter Three (#ulink_382dfc48-cc9f-562c-8d23-d15826350c3f) Chapter Four (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Five (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Six (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo) Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo) Endpages (#litres_trial_promo) Copyright (#litres_trial_promo) MAGGIE CONWAY Maggie lived the first ten years of life in London before moving to Scotland. She has a degree in English Literature and spent many years working in offices dreaming of pursuing her passion for writing. A perfect day would include an early morning swim, a good coffee, a great book and a few hours spent writing before the chaos of a husband, three children, a dog and a cat begins. Having landed the role of chief dog walker, she spends far too much time roaming the streets but at least this gives her a chance to think up new storylines. Acknowledgements (#ulink_9e3391a6-14fb-59b4-b304-65f551ff3cf2) A huge thank-you to my lovely editor Hannah Smith for her unfailing enthusiasm and expert guidance every step of the way. Also to Helena Newton for her skilful work and to all the team at HQ Digital. A big thank-you Lynne Morton - for her support, lovely notepads and making sure I exercise. To Jackie Barker for her encouragement and being there since the playgroup days. To Elaine Brydon for providing inspiration even though she had no idea. To Gordon and Suzanne whose presence the past year has helped so much. To my sister Fiona for reading, listening and generally being the best sister I could have. To my children David, Kate and Rachel. You are truly amazing and I am so lucky and proud to be your mum. And to Martin, you are my everything and none of this would be possible without you. Dedicated to John Conway, an extraordinary man. Thank-you, Dad. Chapter One (#ulink_21d0dc25-de88-55bf-a160-24eb293d0fed) Eva Harris wasn’t spying, not exactly. It was more a case of taking a healthy interest in her new neighbours. She’d almost jumped for joy when the removal van had pulled up earlier. During the afternoon she’d taken several breaks from her painting, lingering at the window with mugs of tea, hoping to catch a glimpse of whoever had moved in. It must have been one of the most efficient removals ever – the van appeared to have come and gone in record time and apart from the removal men Eva hadn’t seen anyone. Even now all was quiet, a sleek black car in the driveway the only evidence anyone had moved in. Eva hated not having neighbours. She found the silence from next door unsettling. The house – known affectionately as Mac’s place – had lain empty, ever since Moira and Donald MacKenzie had decided to sell up and cruise around the world before moving into a bungalow to accommodate Donald’s arthritis. Tempted as she was to rush round to welcome her new neighbours, she held off. She knew moving day could be hectic and it was probably better to give whoever it was time to settle in. From where she stood at a bedroom window on her first floor, Eva looked out onto the harbour and beyond that to the expanse of sea. Even now in October, St Andrews was a beautiful place to live. Being close to the university, Eva was used to seeing students coming and going along the cobbled streets. Tonight though, everyone was huddled up against the rain, hurrying to wherever they had to go. Turning from the window, Eva rested her hands on her hips and admired the silky finish of the duck egg blue wall she had just painted. Listening to the radio as the rain lashed against the window, she’d been happy to be indoors today and even happier that she had managed to paint the whole room despite all her neighbour-spotting activity. Eva loved running her small guest house and even though visitors came to St Andrews all year round, she closed during the winter months. This gave her time to take care of any maintenance and freshen up the rooms. But more importantly it gave her time to be with her son Jamie and it let them have the house to themselves without guests. Looking at the time she realized he should be home by now, even allowing for his football after school. She pulled her phone from the back pocket of her dungarees but there were no messages from him. She resisted the urge to phone and check where he was. Eva was convinced when she gave birth to Jamie a worry bead had been planted in her brain at the same time. Whatever the stage – teething, feeding, learning to read or to cross the road safely – Eva was always capable of imagining the worst-case scenario and only her constant vigilance prevented disaster. Each milestone brought its joys of course but also a new set of anxieties for Eva. Jamie was almost twelve now; the teenage years were looming large and the thought terrified her. Starting high school had been a big change not just for Jamie but Eva too. With his new routine and all the after-school activities, she knew she had to give him a bit of independence but she’d been holding the reins of motherhood so tightly for so long it was difficult to let go. She wondered if she should phone Heather to see if she’d heard from Fraser. She could bet wherever Fraser was, Jamie would be two steps away. When Jamie had come home after his first day at primary school and announced he had a new best friend called Fraser, Eva was more than relieved to meet his mum, Heather. Like their sons, their friendship had been instant and enduring. When Eva had admitted to her excessive – bordering neurotic – worrying, Heather had taken it in her stride. To this day Eva had never seen her friend stressed despite having three boisterous sons. Heather had seen most things at least once and over the years Eva had called upon her expertise several times. When Jamie got his finger stuck in a bottle, kept bringing home bugs, or had decided jumping off furniture was fun, Heather reassured her that was what boys did. The only thing Heather hadn’t managed to bestow on Eva was the ability to relax, at least not without alcohol being involved. Eva loved spending time at her friend’s chaotic home but never knew if it was because of the easy atmosphere or because of her friend’s willingness to produce a bottle of wine at any time for any reason. No, she wouldn’t phone Heather. She’d only remind her – again – they were lucky living in a small safe community, they’d agreed the boys were old enough to walk home from high school themselves, and they’d be home soon. Swallowing the familiar tug of anxiety in her stomach, Eva took a deep breath and started tidying up. She placed the lid back on the paint pot, put the brushes in a jar of water, and went over in her head what she still had to do. Tomorrow she could start to put the furniture back in place and then give everything a good clean. Eva was using a small ceramic seahorse sculpture as her inspiration to give the room a coastal feel. A couple of patterned navy cushions for the armchair and a beautiful driftwood mirror she’d found in a craft shop would provide the finishing touches. She’d certainly come a long way in the seven years since she’d taken over West Sands guest house. When she’d moved in, the existing rooms were functional but drab. At school the only subject Eva had ever really enjoyed was art and she had discovered a real passion for interiors and decorating. Realizing she had a choice to either pay someone to do the work or learn how to do itself, she chose the latter. She’d enrolled in a painting and decorating course at a local college for one day a week that fitted in with Jamie’s school hours and after that she’d kept going, learning with books, online courses, and a lot of trial and error. Now she was able to tackle most jobs herself and loved it so much – dreaming up colour combinations or imagining how textures might work in a room and then putting all her ideas into practice – she sometimes thought she’d missed her calling. She liked to give each room an individual feel but it was also important to keep things fairly neutral and, above all, comfortable. The other two guest rooms wouldn’t be decorated this year, just a thorough clean and a check everything was in working order. She folded the stepladders, propped them against the wall, and clicked off the radio just in time to hear the front door bang shut. ‘Mum?’ Eva felt herself relax at the sound of her son’s voice. ‘Up here! I’ll be down in a sec.’ Wiping her hands on her dungarees Eva headed downstairs, almost being knocked down by Hamish as he hurtled down after her. The reality of having a (literally barking mad) dog was proving to be very different from the one Eva imagined when she had finally given in to Jamie’s constant pleading. Eva could think of a hundred reasons why not to get a dog but Jamie’s single reason – he wanted a dog because he didn’t have a brother or sister – trumped hers. Really, how could she refuse? Dogs and guests weren’t necessarily an ideal mix but Eva, always on the lookout for new target markets, had an idea and one she hoped would be a sound business move. Her master plan was to become a dog-friendly guest house. With its beautiful beaches and coastal paths, St Andrews was the ideal destination for dog lovers and she could tap into that. She’d have to look into it properly before the start of next season, find out about any legal requirements and change her website and marketing so guests would know she welcomed dogs. ‘You’ll have to train the dog properly and it won’t be allowed in the kitchen,’ she’d said to Jamie for the hundredth time as they had driven to the rescue centre. ‘I promise, Mum,’ he had replied solemnly. Jamie had fallen in love on sight with the mournful eyes of a scruffy brown and white crossbreed staring at him through the bars of a cage. Eva liked that he was small and – according to the lovely lady at the rescue centre – would be easy to train. That had been four weeks ago and so far, easy wasn’t a word Eva would use. In the hall, Eva ignored the trail of bags, jumpers, and football boots for now. Her eleven-year-old son’s tendency to go into a strop didn’t need any encouragement the minute he walked through the door. She found Jamie in the living room, his blond hair askew and long gangly limbs sprawled on the sofa with Hamish darting about ecstatically to welcome him home. Although Jamie shared Eva’s fair colouring, at times he looked so like Paul it broke her heart and all Eva wanted was to wrap her arms around him the way she had always done. But eleven was an awkward age. Sometimes still her little boy who needed reassurance but also an aspiring adult who didn’t always welcome hugs from his mum. ‘Hi, sweetheart. How was school?’ Eva asked him. ‘Fine,’ he replied using his standard response to most questions these days as he ruffled Hamish’s ears. The days of waiting at the primary school gates with other parents, swapping and verifying information before walking home while Jamie chatted non-stop already felt like a distant memory to Eva. It was early days, she reminded herself. There was so much for him to take in and he was bound to communicate more when he was ready. Overcome with excitement, Hamish suddenly leapt onto the sofa beside Jamie. ‘Off the sofa, Hamish!’ Eva yelled. ‘Mu-um! That’s not the right voice remember? You’re supposed to use a firm but calm voice,’ Jamie said, mimicking Mrs Duffy from puppy training class. Eva grimaced apologetically. ‘You’re right, I’m sorry.’ Jamie rolled off the sofa, giggling with delight as Hamish jumped on top of him and began slobbering all over his face. ‘Hamish – yeuch!’ he cried. Eva grinned at them, relishing the moments when getting a dog did actually make sense. ‘So, did you have a good game of football?’ Eva asked. ‘Nah, our team lost,’ Jamie sniffed. Sports mad like his father had been – Eva always felt a disappointment for not getting excited about penalty shoot-outs or understanding offside. She’d coped with the dinosaur stage, learning the difference between a T Rex and a stegosaurus. She’d actually enjoyed mastering the techniques to build bridges and cars from Lego and she even knew every character from Star Wars. But she had never managed to grasp the intricacies of The Beautiful Game. Of course if Paul was here, they could talk football father to son, the way it should be. ‘I expected you home before now.’ Eva tried to keep her voice neutral. ‘It’s no big deal, Mum – we were just chatting a bit after the game,’ Jamie retorted, wiping an arm across his dirt-streaked face. ‘I don’t have a problem with that. But how about a text next time? Just to let me know if you’re going to be later. We agreed if you got a mobile phone you would keep in touch.’ Eva wondered how many times she had given the ‘keep in touch’ speech. Even she was fed up with the sound of her own voice saying the same thing over and over. Their wrestling match now over, Jamie got up from the floor while Hamish, tired out by his exertions, flopped dramatically on the floor. ‘Mum?’ Jamie came and stood beside Eva, almost the same height as her now, his blue eyes fixing her with a challenging stare. ‘Have you thought about it yet?’ Eva’s heart sank. ‘Er, not properly yet.’ ‘I need to let them know by next week. All my friends are going; I’ll be the only one not going,’ he pleaded, his face settling into a petulant pout. ‘I know that, but –’ ‘Then why can’t I go?’ he demanded. ‘Let me think about it and I promise we’ll talk later, okay?’ She knew she was stalling. But how could she just say yes to a trip that meant her son would be hurling himself off cliffs, diving into water and God knows what else. The weekend trip, organized by his football club, might promise to be a great team-bonding adventure but the very thought of it made Eva come out in a cold sweat. And she wasn’t sure how she would cope with him being away. Apart from the odd sleepover she’d never been separated from him. Eva could almost hear Paul’s voice telling her not to worry, just to relax and let him go. But he wasn’t here now and it was all down to her. Eva plumped up a pillow, switching to a safer topic. ‘Are you hungry?’ Jamie’s face broke into the cheeky grin she knew so well and Eva felt her heart melt. ‘Why don’t you pick up your things in the hall and go for a shower and I’ll get something ready to eat.’ ‘Okay.’ He slouched off but stopped and turned at the door. ‘I meant to say – I saw a light on in Mac’s place when I was coming home.’ Eva nodded. ‘There was a removal van there earlier today. The new people have moved in.’ ‘Who will it be?’ Eva smiled at how young he could suddenly sound, as if she would always have the answers. ‘I don’t know. But I guess we’d better stop calling it Mac’s place.’ Eva heard Jamie and Hamish thundering up the stairs as she went into the kitchen to heat the lasagne she had made earlier. Switching on the oven, she wondered how her new neighbours were and hoped everything was going well for whoever it was. After all, she knew how difficult moving day could be. *** A cold January day, it had snowed the day Eva and Jamie moved in to West Sands guest house. It had been the day her confidence had suddenly crumbled and she questioned whether she could really do this. As she unlocked the door to their new home, Jamie was sobbing miserably with a streaming cold and Eva could have quite easily dissolved into a pool of tears herself. Suddenly it all seemed such a grown-up thing to do, move into a big house and be responsible for it all, not something a twenty-six-year-old widow with a young child could do. After her husband Paul had died, everyone seemed to have an opinion as to what Eva should now do with her life, not least her mother. Although she had been visibly upset at Paul’s funeral – he was impossible not to like – Eva had sensed a quiet sense of satisfaction from her that it had all gone wrong just as she’d predicted. She had wasted no time in seizing her chance. ‘Come home, darling. Let me look after you.’ Which in Helen Devine’s language translated to ‘let me take over your life again’. The way she had when Eva lived at home. Sometimes it had felt as if her mother had controlled Eva’s whole life. Suggesting suitable friends, the right clothes to wear, or where to go on holiday. From the depths of her despair Eva managed to look up just enough to see her mother’s clutches coming towards her and knew she had to act quickly. Her priority was finding somewhere she and Jamie could feel safe and rebuild their lives together. But she also had to think of a way of supporting them in the future. Randomly searching the internet for property, she stumbled on one for sale in St Andrews already being run as a guest house. Eva remembered one of her favourite childhood games of playing hotels and felt something stir within her. Could she turn that fantasy from all those years ago into a reality? A business that would let her be self-sufficient and be there for her young son – it sounded perfect. The money from Paul’s life insurance meant she was able to put in an offer and when it was accepted, Eva was elated and horrified all at the same time. Helen’s reaction to her daughter’s idea had been less idealistic. ‘Do you like plunging toilets and cleaning carpet stains?’ she had asked. With her mother’s caustic words ringing in her head, Eva stood in the hall that first day trying to comfort Jamie, terrified she had made a huge mistake. Overwhelmed and exhausted, Eva had a sudden desire to crawl into a warm bed and sleep for a week. And then out of that dark moment, Moira MacKenzie appeared at the door like a beacon of light, bringing hope – and a pot of home-made soup – to Eva. Wearing layers of bright clothes, her copper-red hair piled haphazardly on top of her head and bangles jangling at her wrists, something about her presence immediately put Eva at ease. She’d felt guilty for doing it, but it was impossible not to compare Moira to her own mother. Of course Eva knew her mother loved her. But it was a neatly wrapped kind of love that came with air kisses. She wasn’t the type of woman who made you want to lose yourself in a big-bosomed hug the way Moira MacKenzie did. Moira and her husband Donald were both retired academics and ran a second-hand bookshop in St Andrews. The two women chatted comfortably as Moira helped Eva to unpack and settle Jamie into his new room. Eva wasn’t sure if they would have made it through those first few days without her and had counted her lucky stars a thousand times over the years that the MacKenzies were her neighbours. Kind, caring, and just a tiny bit eccentric. Eva loved them. Although their own children had grown and left, their house was always full of grandchildren and friends coming and going. Eva’s heart sank the day Moira told her the house had been sold. A few weeks later Eva tearfully waved them off, happy for them but secretly wishing things didn’t have to change. The house had lain empty for a few weeks and it had been difficult to see it sitting silently. It was only then Eva realized just how much she had depended on the MacKenzies’ presence next door. How since they had left, a sense of loneliness seemed to have engulfed her. *** What kind of an idiot buys a house without seeing it first? An idiot like me, thought Ben Matthews knocking back a couple of painkillers with a mouthful of coffee. Leaning against the window he looked out at the view from his new front living room. In the distance he could see the swell of the dark sea. He ran his hand through his hair, realizing this was going to take some getting used to. The world felt quiet here, so different from the constant noise and buzz of the city. He had left London ridiculously early this morning. The journey had been long and hard; only the thought of the removal van a couple of hours behind had spurred him on. He had finally arrived in St Andrews in the early afternoon and headed straight to the solicitor’s office where he’d dealt with a barrage of legal documentation and polite questions as quickly as possible. Armed with keys and directions to his new home he drove through the town, only stopping to grab a few groceries. From what he could see, the cobbled streets and historic architecture looked charming and quaint and, more importantly, as different from London as he had hoped. He found the house easily enough: the last property in a row of impressive Victorian houses facing the beach. He’d climbed out of the car, rolling the tension out of his shoulders as he took in his new surroundings. The house itself sat well back from the road, the front lawn flanked by a gravelled driveway on one side and overgrown flowerbeds on the other. He glanced over at the neighbouring house – similar to his except for the ivy cascading down the soft red brick of its front wall and spilling over a blue front door. To the other side of the house there was nothing to see except the sweep of sand and sea stretching into the distance. After unloading the car, he’d let himself in, dumped his suitcases in the hall, and waited for the delivery van. By anyone’s standards it must seem mad that the day he moved into his new house was the first time he’d actually stepped into it. But he had left it all to Samantha. It had been she who had flown up to Scotland to view the house while Ben stayed to close his last big deal. Telling Samantha he wanted to leave London and return to teaching, he hadn’t been sure how she would react. She was a city girl through and through but she seemed to go for it, shared his vision for a new life. She appeared genuinely excited by Ben’s job offer at the University of St Andrews, providing the obligatory bottle of something expensive to celebrate. Ben thought they might rent somewhere first but Samantha had insisted on viewing an amazing house she’d seen online located right on the beachfront. Houses weren’t really his thing but Ben had happily looked at the photos and listened to her plans for the house, including turning one of the rooms into her office where she planned to set up and run an IT consultancy. Turning from the window he shook his head and smiled wryly to himself. She had been right of course. It was a beautiful house, an estate agent’s dream to sell with its original fireplaces, cornice ceilings, and large bay windows overlooking the sea. A stunning house but clearly not enough for Samantha. Not enough for her to be able to decline the promotion offered to her by the company she worked for just weeks before they were set to move. Their expansion into East Asia provided her with an opportunity simply ‘too good to turn down’. Ben wondered if she’d just got cold feet about them, about the whole move. She didn’t ask him to stay and he hadn’t offered to. Money wasn’t an issue and the sale of the house was in his name anyway so all he had to do was come alone. A strange almost unspoken ending of whatever it was they had. What did that say about their relationship? He took the last mouthful of the coffee, thankful he’d had the sense to mark a box with kitchen stuff so at least he had been able to find the kettle and cups. Apart from that, he didn’t know where anything was and wasn’t sure he’d have the energy to unpack anything tonight, let alone try and find the bedding. His stomach suddenly rumbled in protest at the measly sandwich he’d eaten earlier on the motorway and a sudden chill crept over him. It was all meant to be so different. To think he’d actually imagined the possibility of a family one day, but now the empty rooms only served to remind him how alone he was. He walked into the large hall where most of the boxes sat untouched. He hadn’t brought much. He’d made a decision only to bring what was important and there had been surprisingly little to pack. His books, some photos, and a few essential pieces of furniture. He had left London after all those years and realized he didn’t have much to bring at all. *** Eva decided she couldn’t wait. She simply had to go and meet her new neighbours and felt a flutter of anticipation as she slipped on her jacket and ventured out into the wet night. Earlier she’d driven Jamie and his friend Ewan to Scouts and Jamie would be dropped home later. Leaving her own front door, it took Eva only seconds to walk down the front path of her own house and up her neighbour’s. She remembered all the times she’d walk straight round to the back, knock on the door, and just walk in. Eva would immediately be enveloped by the warmth of the kitchen and Moira would have the kettle on before Eva had time to sit down at the massive oak table, which was always strewn with books and papers. Reaching the little porch Eva shook the rain from her hood, noticing the fine layer of dust on the little shelf where a potted plant used to sit. Through the opaque glass of the inner door she could see a light on in the hall. She knocked on the familiar door feeling a little bubble of excitement in her chest, thinking how lovely it would be to have neighbours again. After a few moments the door opened and whoever Eva might have imagined opening the door, she wasn’t prepared for the man who now did. Tall, wearing a black T-shirt and blue jeans, his dark hair was tousled, as if he’d just run a hand through it. But it was the intensity of the dark brown eyes looking at her questioningly that struck Eva and made her instantly feel self-conscious and awkward. His features were handsome but the deep frown etched into them made Eva feel uneasy. She cleared her throat and smiled brightly at him. ‘Hi. I’m Eva Harris. I live next door with my son and wanted to come and welcome you.’ He regarded her for a moment before holding out his hand and introducing himself. ‘Ben Matthews. Nice to meet you.’ They shook hands, his touch sending a small shockwave through Eva. Suddenly she wasn’t sure what to do. The scenario she had played out in her head of this meeting hadn’t included her standing like a speechless idiot. Granted, that was before she knew her new neighbour looked like … well, like this. But that was no reason to behave differently; she was simply here to welcome him and in keeping with the tradition set by Mrs MacKenzie, she held out a pot of her best broth. ‘I brought you some soup.’ He glanced down at it, looking slightly baffled. And certainly not as grateful as Eva had hoped for. ‘That’s kind of you, but you didn’t have to do that.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s no problem. I know moving day can be difficult and you might not have had time to think about food. It’s home-made, vegetable …’ Her voice trailed off and she swallowed nervously. ‘Thank you.’ He took the pot from her hands and placed it awkwardly on a pile of boxes behind him. ‘I know lots of people are vegetarian these days so I thought that would be the safest option.’ Eva heard herself babble on, wishing she could stop but sure that if she did there would be a horrible silence. Deciding she had exhausted the soup topic, she changed tack. ‘So, have you come far today?’ ‘London.’ She nodded. ‘St Andrews is going to be quite a change for you then.’ ‘That’s the general idea,’ he said dryly. Eva couldn’t understand why he was making this so difficult and thought desperately of what to say next. She never had a problem talking to new people; she did it all the time with her guests. She had been thinking along the lines of a cosy get-to-know-you chat, possibly over a cup of tea, while she imparted her local knowledge and offered to help with anything. Well she could at least still do that. ‘So, um, is there anything I can help you with?’ ‘Unless you’re a heating engineer I doubt it,’ he replied, not even bothering to hide his irritability. Now that she thought about it, there had been no surge of warmth when he had opened the door. In fact she could sense a definite chill coming from the house. ‘You don’t have heating?’ No wonder he was scowling. These were big houses to heat and to arrive after a long journey to find no heating would test anyone. ‘Have you checked the pressure gauge?’ His brows shot up. ‘Sorry?’ ‘Well no, I’m not a heating engineer but I’d guess the water pressure to the boiler might have dropped because it hasn’t been used for a while. You need to refill your system by opening the bypass valve.’ Not waiting for an invitation, she walked in past him just happy she was able to help. A wall of cold air hit Eva as she entered the house and she shivered. She recalled all the times she had been here to see the MacKenzies, the house always so warm and inviting. But it was more than the cold. There was something missing but Eva couldn’t put her finger on it. A few boxes here and there but otherwise it all seemed too orderly, not enough chaos for someone who had just moved in. She could see he had got as far as opening the door to the small hall cupboard where the boiler was located. Using her phone torch Eva squeezed into the cupboard and knelt down. Below the boiler she found the bypass valve and opened it for a few seconds before hearing the satisfying sound of the boiler ignite. ‘That’s it. You should start to feel a difference soon.’ Straightening up she found herself face to face with him. Or face to chest actually – he really was tall. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his nearness making her conscious she hadn’t given her appearance a moment’s thought before she came round. She raised her gaze to meet his and thought she detected the tiniest flicker of amusement in his eyes. ‘So is fixing boilers a hobby of yours?’ he asked. ‘I run a guest house next door. I’ve had to learn to deal with leaky taps, blocked sinks –’ ‘Guest house?’ The frown made another appearance. As a businesswoman, Eva knew it was vital to be on good terms with her neighbours and was keen to reassure him. ‘Please don’t be alarmed. I only open May to September. All my guests are highly respectable, usually out all day, and tucked up nice and early so you’ll hardly know they’re here. They won’t disturb you.’ Appearing reassured with this information he gave a small, forced smile. ‘Well, thank you. It was beginning to feel pretty miserable in here.’ ‘These properties don’t take care of themselves. I can give you the name of a local heating engineer if you like – probably best to give the system an overhaul.’ ‘Um, sure,’ he muttered. ‘So what brings you to St Andrews?’ Eva asked following him back through the hall towards the front door. ‘I’m starting work at the university.’ Eva nodded, not surprised. Lots of people coming to St Andrews had some connection to the university. In the summer much of her business came from families attending graduations and Eva was happy to play a small part in these special occasions ‘It’s a good university and has a great reputation. My friend’s son has just started studying engineering there,’ she spoke chattily. ‘So, um, what will you be doing there?’ He ran a hand over his shadowed jaw, hesitated for a moment as if reluctant to divulge any information. ‘Teaching physics,’ he replied simply. Eva had no idea what the average physicist looked like these days but was surprised. Certainly there was a serious, almost brooding quality about him but for some reason teaching physics seemed at odds with his appearance. But perhaps it explained his reticence. Maybe he was one of those genius types who found it difficult to communicate with people unless they had some super high IQ. Eva closed her mouth, which she realized was hanging open, and gave herself a shake. ‘Well, I’m sure you’ll enjoy living in St Andrews. It’s a friendly community and being at the university you’ll soon meet lots of people.’ Although Eva got the impression Ben Matthews wasn’t going to be actively seeking new friends. Meeting visitors from all over the world, Eva reckoned she had become a pretty good judge of character. Some wanted to chat; others preferred keeping to themselves. She knew some people were easy to please while others found fault in everything. And now she sensed Ben Matthews was being guarded. For someone who had just moved in, the place didn’t show many signs of a life on the move. Everything pointed to him being on his own, which seemed strange for such a big house. She mulled that over in her head: the fact he appeared to be single. Did it matter to her? If she was honest she’d been hoping a family might move in, maybe with children close to Jamie’s age. Perhaps he had a wife, a partner or family still to join him. ‘Once you get settled perhaps you and er … well perhaps you’d like to come round for dinner?’ He had reached the front door now, placed his hand on the handle, and she saw him bristle. ‘I doubt I’ll have time. I’m going to be pretty busy.’ ‘So, um is it just you? I mean, there’s no one else?’ She cringed inwardly at how nosy she just sounded but couldn’t help herself. ‘No, it’s just me,’ he replied tersely, opening the door. ‘Right, of course,’ Eva said weakly, stepping outside. She suddenly remembered something and turned. ‘I still have a set of keys for this house. The people who lived here before you – we had a set of each other’s keys for emergencies.’ If she hoped he might say to keep the arrangement in place – after all it was a sensible neighbourly thing to do – then she was to be disappointed. ‘Just put them through the letterbox next time you’re passing.’ His tone suggested he was finding this conversation tedious now, making Eva feel as if she was being dismissed. ‘Of course.’ ‘Thanks again,’ he said closing the front door behind her. Eva hurried back to her own house with the rain still falling, feeling suddenly miserable. What had she been thinking? That she could turn up and be welcomed with open arms? She was trying to be friendly but now had a horrible feeling he would just think her pushy and prying. Stupidly she thought she could re-create what she had with the MacKenzies. But of course, he was a stranger. And not a particularly friendly one by the looks of it. Chapter Two (#ulink_a95cbe08-b809-541b-9348-fc8523812a5c) Ben hadn’t worn a suit since his last day working in the city and wasn’t enjoying wearing one now. It reminded him too much of the life he wanted to forget. Sometimes he wondered how he had endured it for five years. A job he hated but that earned him a shedload of money, a luxury apartment overlooking the Thames that he was hardly ever in, and people he socialized with but wouldn’t count as real friends. He’d got used to the crazy long hours, the cut and thrust of making deals. But during that time he’d never lost his passion for physics, the subject he’d studied at university. The only difference was that instead of using his mathematical skills to figure out how the universe began, he’d used them to predict how markets might react and make huge amounts of money. Well, he wasn’t living the nightmare any more – today was a new beginning. He fiddled with his shirt collar, feeling surprisingly nervous. He knew working at the university wouldn’t normally require him to wear a suit but he wanted to make a good impression today. A good night’s sleep would have helped but finding the bedding had proved too much and he’d finally given in to exhaustion and fallen asleep on the sofa. After only a few hours sleep he had woken early this morning, his bones aching and his mind racing. Of course the visit from his new neighbour hadn’t exactly helped. Images of her had kept flitting into his head as he tried to fall asleep. He might be dog-tired and sworn off women for life but he still recognized a beautiful woman when he saw one. With her honey-blonde hair pulled into a ponytail, not a scrap of make-up – unless you counted what looked like a smudge of blue paint on her face – she was stunning. But this was definitely not the time to start noticing the colour of your neighbour’s hair. She’d just been so friendly, acting all neighbourly, but he hadn’t been in the mood for twenty questions and to be honest, he hadn’t known quite how to handle it. He knew he lived in a small community now and that’s probably what neighbours did – talk to each other, borrow things – or in her case fix heating systems. Their conversation last night was longer than any he’d had with his old neighbours in London. He’d never known their stories and hadn’t wanted to; a nod in the hallway had sufficed. But he got the uncomfortable feeling it was going to be different with Eva Harris. Was it just two of them living there? He’d noticed her hands were bare of rings and she’d only mentioned living with her son. If she was on her own running a business and bringing up a son, she’d have her hands full yet she had made time to bring him home-made soup. He’d found the gesture curiously quaint and he was well aware he hadn’t exactly been gracious accepting it but it hadn’t stopped him devouring the lot. It had tasted delicious. He didn’t know why her visit had irked him so much but he’d felt wrong-footed in some way, her questions reinforcing his isolation. Having to say out loud that he was on his own felt like admitting his dream lay in tatters and that had hurt more than he cared to admit and had been enough to drive his manners away. Next time he saw her he would make a point of thanking her but that didn’t mean he wanted to get involved. Giving himself a mental shake, he checked his tie in the mirror and headed downstairs. Today the house felt even bigger, his footsteps echoing on the polished wooden floorboards in the hall. He had no doubt it had been a well-loved and lived-in house, but it was crying out for some attention and updating. At least the shower had worked this morning even though it was rickety and had made a slightly alarming noise. Wandering through to the dining room at the back of the house he could see the potential to make it a beautiful home if you knew how to go about it. He wouldn’t have a clue where to start. Clearly it was too big for him. He’d be rattling about here on his own. A door led him through to the kitchen. Most people would want this as one big space, he imagined as he walked over to the large window overlooking the garden. ‘What the – ?’ In dungarees on her knees at the bottom of his garden was his new neighbour, Eva Harris. She appeared to be chasing a chicken around his back garden. Other chickens were clucking around in her own garden and a small manic dog seemed to be getting in on the action also. Watching for a few moments Ben realized she seemed to be coaxing the chicken from his garden back into her own. Unlike last night, her hair was loose, tumbling down her back in soft waves. He watched as she made a sudden lunge for the chicken and then hoisted it over the fence back into her own garden. Ben couldn’t help smiling. God, she looked mad. And utterly beautiful. He shook his head and forced himself away from events in the garden, as enticing as they were. Ben started to get some papers ready for his meeting. Walking back through the hall, an envelope caught his eye lying on the mat by the front door. Opening it, he found a set of keys. Clearly Eva Harris was an early riser and had returned the keys to his house. He tossed them onto the sideboard, ignoring the inexplicable stab of guilt he felt, and went to get ready. *** ‘Come on, Betsy … this way!’ Eva used her best chicken voice but Betsy was choosing to ignore her and instead seemed intent on pecking something interesting on the ground. There were times when Eva questioned her decision to rescue six chickens especially when it came to the weekly cleanout and even more so when they decided to go on walkabouts into other people’s gardens. She should have fixed that gap in the fence ages ago and hadn’t noticed it had got big enough for an escape party. She loved her girls and it was wonderful being able to provide her guests with fresh eggs. But there was no doubt it had been a labour of love and it had been hard work to get them from the sad-looking creatures they once were to the cheeky happy characters they were now. Spotting her moment, she grabbed Betsy with two hands and lifted her back to the safety of her own garden. Hamish, happy to have Betsy home safely, barked in approval. Eva had very carefully introduced Hamish and the chickens but she needn’t have worried. They were all firm friends now and Eva suspected Hamish had assumed the role of pack leader. Finding a piece of wood from her shed she dragged it over and managed to prop it up against the gap in the fence, hoping that would secure it until she could fix it properly. She doubted her new neighbour would appreciate a chicken on the loose in his garden; he was more likely to be the type to slab everything over with concrete. Disappointment had given way to anger when she thought about him now. Eva began vigorously brushing up the dirty pine shavings from the coop, thinking just how rude he had been. She tossed the shavings onto the compost heap at the bottom corner of the garden and with some help from Hamish, rounded up the chickens. Ushering them back into their clean coop Eva left them to settle down and roost in peace. Early morning was Eva’s favourite time of day and getting up early to deal with guests had never been an issue. She loved being outside in her garden, and was making the most of it before the clocks went back and she would lose light in the morning. She trudged down to the bottom of the garden where she kept a small vegetable patch, enjoying the feel of muddy earth under her feet. It had been hit and miss with the success of her vegetable growing and her latest offering of carrots – slightly shrivelled and sorry-looking – had done nothing to convince Jamie eating vegetables could be a pleasurable experience. Still, she loved that she had created a little safe haven for the two of them. Sometimes she wished she could lock the outside world out and just keep things the way they were. Ben Matthews’s arrival had rankled her. Almost as if she blamed him – unfairly she knew – for making the MacKenzies leave and change everything. A light rain was now falling and Eva started to feel chilled so she headed back towards the house with Hamish at her heels. She went in through the back door to the utility room, which had become a dumping ground for shoes, jackets, tools, and old toys. Eva had cleared way to make room for Hamish’s feeding bowls and basket, hoping she could train him to stay in this area and out of the kitchen. ‘Hamish, here boy.’ She pointed to his basket and was delighted when he obediently flopped into it. She gave him a treat and patted his head, thinking just maybe she was getting the hang of this training lark. She pulled off her wellies, slipped out of her dungarees, and washed up before heading upstairs. In his darkened room Jamie slept soundly. She picked up a few random items of clothing and a Harry Potter book discarded on the floor by the side of his bed. Eva took a moment to watch him sleep, marvelling at the innocence of his sleeping young face. The smallest of smiles played on his lips as if he was in the middle of a lovely dream and Eva felt guilty for waking him. She wished she had some sort of parental magic wand she could wave over him to keep him safe. He had been just four the day she’d woken him to go to the hospital after Paul’s accident and Eva couldn’t bear that she was about to wake him and bring tragedy into his life. Of course he wouldn’t fully understand but somehow she was going to have to try and explain he would never see Daddy again. She could only hope the love and stability she provided would make up for his loss. Eva had always made sure Jamie knew who Paul was, sharing memories of him so her son knew he’d had a father who loved him very much. Eva began the ritual of waking him, clicking on the bedside light and opening the curtains just enough to allow a sliver of grey morning light in through the gap. Jamie, not sharing his mother’s love of mornings, rolled over in protest at the sudden intrusion into his slumber. ‘Morning, love,’ she said, giving him a gentle shake. Once she knew he was fully awake and in no danger of falling back to sleep, Eva left him to get dressed. Returning to the kitchen with hot coffee on her mind, Eva felt the distinct crunch of cereal under her feet. Not necessarily an unusual occurrence but when she followed the trail of crumbs she found Hamish in his basket with his nose buried deep in a box of cereal. Clearly he had jumped up and taken it from the table, probably violating at least half a dozen health and safety regulations, thought Eva grimly. ‘Oh, Hamish!’ She snatched the box away and he looked up at her with guilty eyes. ‘What am I going to do with you?’ she sighed. Hamish, seeming to understand Eva’s annoyance, crouched low in his basket, ears flattened against his head. Eva tidied up and made herself a now much-needed coffee. She sat at the table with her hands wrapped around her mug, thinking of the day ahead. She glanced at the pile of papers and envelopes stacked on top of her laptop sitting in front of her on the table. The guest house always generated paperwork but she wasn’t sure she was in the mood to face insurance quotes or marketing matters. She’d do more work on the guest bedroom today. After several encouraging calls to Jamie he finally emerged from upstairs. Eva smiled to herself at his sudden interest in his appearance. Hair gel, spot cream, and a particular brand of deodorant had recently been added to Eva’s weekly shopping list. Now his hair was neatly gelled into place and his school tie adjusted to what Eva presumed was an acceptably cool angle. Donald MacKenzie had often stepped in to help Jamie master certain skills, including doing up his tie. His youngest grandson was a couple of years older than Jamie and Donald had always made a point of including Jamie when they did things together. ‘Don’t you look smart.’ Eva smiled. He grunted as he plonked himself down at the table, tipping a huge amount of cereal into a bowl and splashing milk on the top. Eva started to spread butter on slices of bread and cut cheese for Jamie’s lunch, going through her morning checklist. ‘Have you packed your homework?’ They’d spent a torturous hour last night doing his homework. Biology and then maths. ‘In my bag.’ He smiled sweetly before cramming a spoonful of cereal into his mouth. ‘And you’ve got your PE kit?’ Although Eva knew there wasn’t much chance of him forgetting that. ‘Yeah. And Mark’s Mum said it be okay for me and Fraser to go back to his house for a bit after badminton today.’ Eva racked her brain trying to remember if he had mentioned Mark before. ‘Where does he live?’ ‘I dunno. It’s near the school though.’ ‘Can you text me his address when you get there?’ ‘Yeah, all right.’ Eva was pleased he was making new friends but had to know all the details – the who, where, and when – before she could begin to feel anywhere near comfortable. ‘So what time will you be home?’ He shrugged. ‘Just like whenever.’ ‘I’ll want you home for dinner though, okay?’ ‘Probably,’ he sighed, clearly overwhelmed by the relentless questioning. ‘I can come and collect you from Mark’s house. Just text me but don’t make it too late please,’ Eva said squashing the sandwich with an apple and yogurt into his lunchbox. He nodded taking his empty bowl over to the sink. ‘You go and brush your teeth and I’ll get Hamish ready for his walk.’ Going over to Hamish’s basket, Eva stroked his velvety ears realizing just how grateful she was to have his company these days. She thought of the hours stretching ahead of her. Winter days could be long on her own and she was glad she had the bedroom to finish today. She turned to Hamish, the cereal incident now forgotten. ‘Come on, boy, it’s you and me again. Time for your walk.’ Hearing the magic word, Hamish jumped out of his basket and barked excitedly. Eva insisted on leaving the house together even though Jamie went to meet his friends to walk to school while she took Hamish in the opposite direction to the beach. When they were all ready to leave, Eva opened the front door, relieved to see it had stopped raining. As if they had synchronized it, Eva heard her new neighbour’s front door shut at the exact moment she closed her own and, glancing over, she saw Ben Matthews leave his house. She turned to Jamie and spoke between gritted teeth. ‘Come on, we don’t want to be late.’ If they hurried they might miss him. It went against every bone in her body, but she didn’t want to come face to face with Ben Matthews this morning and try to be friendly. A simple acknowledgement might be interpreted as unwanted attention. Her mind was still processing their first meeting last night and she didn’t know what to think. All she had wanted was neighbours like the MacKenzies but clearly that wasn’t going to happen. ‘We’re not late, Mum. We’re never late,’ Jamie huffed, well used to his mother’s efficient timekeeping. ‘Well we don’t want to start today, do we?’ Halfway down the path, her plan to forge ahead was thwarted by Hamish who stopped abruptly and cocked his leg, having found the perfect spot for his morning pee, which always took ages. Perfect. Waiting as patiently as she could while Hamish did his business, Eva surreptitiously glanced over at Ben now walking down his garden path. His navy suit looked expensive and showed off his broad chest and long legs but wasn’t something she’d expect a university teacher to wear. With Hamish finished they continued down the path where to her surprise, Ben had made a point of waiting for them. ‘Morning.’ His tone was formal and his expression uncertain. Part of her hoped he might not be quite as handsome as she remembered last night. But looking at him now she knew there was no chance of that. If anything he was more attractive than she remembered. Unlike the previous evening he was clean-shaven, revealing the shape of a strong jawline, and his dark hair was neatly swept back. Up close Eva noticed he looked tired, but the shadows under his eyes didn’t take away from the potency of his gaze. ‘Hello,’ Eva replied, trying for a nonchalance she wasn’t feeling. ‘I wanted to thank you for the soup last night – and the heating.’ He looked down at the ground and rubbed a hand around the back of his neck, a gesture Eva found annoyingly attractive. Deciding to accept this little interchange as an apology of sorts for his abruptness last night, she returned his smile. ‘No problem,’ she said, turning to Jamie who was mucking about with Hamish. She looked at him encouragingly. ‘Jamie, this is our new neighbour: Ben Matthews. This is my son: Jamie.’ She put her hand on his shoulder, unable to keep the pride from her voice. ‘Hi, Jamie. Nice to meet you.’ He smiled and it was a proper smile that transformed his face – nothing like the scowl he had worn last night Eva noted. She really must have caught him at a bad moment. Ben held out his hand, in a proper man-to-man way, which her son responded to albeit rather self-consciously. Eva watched them. For some inexplicable reason this moment felt significant. She was relieved to see her son act politely but could tell he was eager to be off and meet his friends, his eyes scanning the street. Ben nodded towards the racquet on Jamie’s shoulder. ‘You play badminton?’ Jamie did a double take now, clearly impressed that their new neighbour, unlike Eva, could recognize a badminton racquet when he saw one. ‘Yeah, I go to a club after school,’ he explained just before his attention was diverted by a call from one of his friends. ‘Fraser’s waiting for me, Mum. Remember the trip! I need to know,’ he called back as he ran off. ‘I will. Be careful! Love you!’ The rush of words left her mouth as she watched him go. She turned to Ben and blushed, aware she probably sounded like a madwoman. She cleared her throat. ‘So, your first day at the university then?’ He nodded. ‘I thought I would use the walk to try and get my bearings.’ ‘Are you going to the main building or the physics building?’ He shot her a surprised look. ‘Um, the physics building.’ ‘Just walk to the end of this road, turn right onto Doubledykes Road, and take the second left into Kennedy Gardens. From there, you’ll start to see university buildings, which are all signposted. You should easily find the physics building.’ ‘That’s helpful, thanks.’ ‘No problem. Oh, and I returned your house keys this morning through your letterbox. Did you get them?’ ‘Yes, I did.’ He looked down again, his eyes not meeting hers. On a roll, Eva continued. ‘There’s also a gap in the fence between our gardens, which I’ll come and fix.’ ‘That’s all right, I can get someone in –’ ‘No, I can do it. I’ve already got the replacement panels. I just need to measure and cut them to size, then nail them in. Easy.’ He regarded her for a moment before replying. ‘Of course. I forgot how practical you are.’ ‘Good. That’s settled then.’ Out of the corner of her eye, Eva saw a familiar car trundling along the road towards them. Eva knew immediately it was Heather who had just dropped Fraser. Grinning like a maniac, she flew by in her people carrier full of assorted children. Not only did she have her own three boys, she was also a childminder and every morning she could be found depositing various children at various locations. Seeing Eva and Ben, she blasted her car horn, giving a thumbs-up sign. Eva groaned inwardly, hoping Ben didn’t see her friend’s gesture. ‘My friend Heather on the school run,’ she explained with a weak laugh just as Hamish, for reasons best known to himself, decided to launch himself at Ben’s legs. Thankfully Hamish’s front paws only just made contact but enough for two small muddy stains to appear on his trouser leg. ‘Oh, I’m so sorry!’ Eva looked in horror and without thinking reached to try and brush them off. He held his arm up to stop her, giving her a withering glance. ‘It’s fine. Please just leave it. I really better get going.’ His tone had changed, not that she could blame him. He walked off, leaving Eva to wonder how in such a short space of time she had managed to get off to such a bad start with her new neighbour. Chapter Three (#ulink_40132977-1bd8-51ca-b092-a98de5791f33) Eva pulled into the driveway of her mother’s house and took a deep breath. She turned to Jamie. ‘Here we are then,’ she said overbrightly. Jamie pulled off his headphones. ‘We’re not gonna be long are we, Mum?’ Making the hour-long journey to the leafy Edinburgh suburb to visit her mother wasn’t exactly Eva’s favourite way to spend a Sunday either but family was family. Her son had already missed out enough losing his father at a young age and Eva was determined he would grow up knowing his grandmother, even if she wasn’t exactly fairy-tale material. As for Paul’s parents, they grand-parented Jamie the way they had parented their only child. From a great distance and with ridiculous amounts of money being sent at birthdays and Christmas. ‘No, we won’t be too long. Give Hamish a run around the garden and then bring him back into the car and remember to leave a window open.’ ‘Why can’t he just come in?’ ‘You know Gran won’t have dogs in her house.’ ‘Come on, Hamish,’ Jamie sighed before slouching out of the car door. Eva pulled a mirror from her bag and quickly checked her reflection. She’d woken early this morning even by her standards, and hadn’t been able to get back to sleep, all kinds of strange thoughts whirring through her mind. She went over and over it but couldn’t find the thing that seemed to be making her so unsettled. Now her face reflected every minute she had spent pummelling her pillow and tossing and turning. Rummaging in her bag, she found some cream that promised instant radiance, slapped some on her cheeks, and climbed out of the car. The front door opened and her mother appeared, immaculate as ever. A tailored shift dress with a cashmere cardigan draped over her slim shoulders, Helen Devine was elegant as always. Her blonde hair sat in a neat bob, testament to her weekly visits to the hairdresser’s. Eva walked over and leaned in to her mother for a brittle sort of hug, just as Jamie disappeared around the side of the house with Hamish. ‘Hello, Mum. How are you?’ ‘Hello, darling. Come and see my new kitchen!’ She clapped her hands together sounding positively giddy as Eva followed her in. As always, the house was neat and orderly. Anything left lying for more than a minute was either dusted or taken away. Dishes, towels, curtains were all coordinated and a crystal cut vase filled with roses always sat on the hall table. In the kitchen Helen shared the delights of her new Arlington Cream kitchen. Eva trailed after her making appreciative noises as she was shown the joys of the panelled doors, glazed units, and integrated appliances. ‘It creates such a beautiful streamline effect, don’t you think?’ Her mother’s eyes sparkled as she looked around at her new kitchen, letting out a contented sigh. She seemed inordinately pleased with herself. In fact, she was looking very well, thought Eva. Narrowing her eyes, she peered closely at her wondering if she had succumbed to a little makeover of her own. There was a definite glow about her. ‘It’s lovely, Mum,’ Eva said, genuinely happy for her. Appearances and status meant everything to Helen. Brian Devine’s job as a financial manager had provided his wife with a lifestyle she had taken to very easily and his subsequent life insurance policy had ensured she could keep living it. Eva walked over to the window and looked out to the garden, thinking how much she still missed her father. A massive heart attack had taken his life and thrown his family’s into turmoil. Eva had been working in an insurance office at the time having recently been trusted with the added responsibility of answering the phone as well as doing the filing. She knew there had to be something more out there, but just hadn’t figured out what. As her mother was fond of pointing out, there weren’t many opportunities for someone who had left school with not much to show for it. Still, the job gave her enough money to go out with her friends at weekends and buy clothes. She had met Paul, a ski instructor, the year before on holiday in France. He was handsome, charming, and free-spirited. Eva had a major crush on him, as did most of the girls. She could hardly believe it when he showed interest in her and had been happily swept away by their brief holiday romance. Afterwards, they had kept in touch with the odd phone call or Facebook message. It had been his idea for Eva to join him in France after her father’s death and it hadn’t taken much to persuade her. It didn’t obviate her pain but it was certainly an effective distraction. Sharing a cramped flat and waitressing long exhausting hours, Eva loved every minute. She relished the freedom and for the first time in her life felt she was having an adventure. Of course getting pregnant wasn’t supposed to be part of the adventure. Suddenly the carefree life she’d been enjoying came crashing down around her – the heady excitement and freedom that had drawn them together becoming something much more real and serious. Paul surprised her by insisting they marry before the baby was born. Marriage was a practical solution to the unplanned turn of events but Eva didn’t know if that was enough to base a marriage on. However, she brushed aside her fears knowing it was the right thing to do and it certainly helped to take away some of the terror of being pregnant and having to face her mother. Her poor mother had barely recovered from Eva going off with Paul in the first place but then had to contend with her youngest daughter returning home three months pregnant to marry in a registry office. Eva nervously clutched her small bouquet of creamy white roses during the short ceremony and afterwards their small party had made their way to a rooftop restaurant where they sat with bowls of steaming mussels overlooking Edinburgh Castle. Eva told herself it was romantic but didn’t think her mother would agree judging by her strained expression. They moved to the highlands where Paul got a job in the Cairngorms ski resort and lived there until the accident. She hadn’t expected things to happen the way they did, but Eva never regretted for a single moment having Jamie in her life. Staring out of the window Eva could now see him now running around on the neatly clipped lawn with Hamish. The loss of her father and husband had been bad enough but it was Jamie never knowing his grandfather and losing his father that hurt the most. Eva supposed focusing on Jamie had helped her cope with her own grief for Paul and enabled her to move on with her life. Her grief for her father had been harder to deal with – he had been the person she’d looked up to her whole life. He had always been there for her and his absence from her life was still painful. Eva knew if her kind and loving father was still here things would be different somehow and these visits would certainly be easier to deal with. She closed her eyes and imagined him outside now playing with Jamie. He’d be older obviously, probably retired. His hair would be silver grey but his blue eyes would still be bright and crinkly when he smiled. She could almost hear him laughing as Jamie kicked the ball to him. Eva inhaled deeply and opened her eyes, surprised to feel tears. She blinked them away just in time to see Hamish happily trampling through a flowerbed and Jamie chasing after him. Eva grimaced, not sure if a crazy dog constituted a suitable male role model for her son. She turned quickly from the window, and pointed to the wall opposite hoping her mother wouldn’t notice the damage being inflicted on her garden by Hamish. ‘So what are you going to do with this wall?’ she asked, moving from the window. Helen looked up from the plate of cocktail-size sausage rolls she was arranging. ‘Oh, I need to choose tiles. I’m thinking green or red, something to add a splash of colour.’ She smiled, gliding and swooping between her new work surfaces like a graceful ballerina. ‘You know, Mum, I could do the tiling for you,’ Eva said running her hand over the bare wall. ‘Don’t be silly, darling. I’ve got a man coming next week to do it,’ Helen replied briskly. Not for the first time Eva wondered if her own determination to master house maintenance skills was a rebound from her mother’s inability to change a light bulb without calling in a man. Helen had resumed her preparations for Sunday lunch and turned her attention to making tea. ‘What can I do to help?’ asked Eva. ‘Could you find a plate for these please?’ her mother replied nodding towards a tray of freshly baked shortbread fingers sitting on the worktop. Eva started opening the cupboard doors, discovering things had been moved around. ‘And how is … business?’ she heard Helen ask. Hearing the disdain in her mother’s voice never failed to amaze Eva, as if her daughter choosing to run a guest house offended her sensibilities in some way. She had long given up on the hope that her mother might show any real interest or pride in what Eva had achieved. There was no point in telling her that she had just finished her best season ever, that she already had repeat bookings for next year. ‘Business is fine,’ she said simply. Finally locating a serving plate Eva arranged the biscuits while Helen spooned tea leaves into a china teapot. ‘It’s such an odd way to make a living though. Having strangers in your house.’ ‘Mum, it’s St Andrews. They’re all respectable paying guests, not exactly strangers.’ They’d had this conversation, or one similar to it, several times over the past few years but that didn’t make it any less painful. ‘But all those people traipsing about your home treating you like some sort of glorified maid,’ she continued, giving a little shudder to emphasize her point. Eva would never deny it was hard work. Guests coming and going, the constant cleaning, laundry and cooking breakfasts. It involved a lot of planning, time, and energy. But living in a big house in a beautiful part of Scotland, running a business that let her be with her son, Eva knew she had much to be thankful for. Her mother poured milk into a pretty china jug and sighed. ‘I just thought you’d have had enough of it by now.’ Eva managed to suppress a sigh of her own, thinking nothing had changed since she had moved to St Andrews after Paul had died. ‘Will Sarah be coming today?’ Eva asked, desperate to change the subject even if it was to Sarah. ‘Oh, she’ll be here in a minute.’ Helen waved her hand vaguely in the air. ‘She had to take a call for work.’ ‘On a Sunday?’ ‘She’s in the middle of an important case. I don’t suppose she can switch off just because it’s the weekend.’ Sarah was Eva’s shiny, perfect older sister. After graduating with a law degree, she had moved to Aberdeen to complete her training in the legal department of an oil company. When their father had died, she moved back to Edinburgh, bought a house practically next door to their mother’s, and took a job working for a firm of commercial lawyers. She was always involved in some big case. It wouldn’t surprise her if Sarah didn’t show up today, just like the last two times Eva and Jamie had visited. With the tea tray now complete, Helen carried it over to Eva and after a brief inspection of the shortbread biscuits, graced her daughter with a fleeting smile. ‘Take this through please, darling,’ she said handing over the tray. Eva did as she was told and headed through to the formal dining room where Helen insisted on serving lunch. Heavy cream and gold curtains framed the French doors, which looked out onto the garden, and a rich brocade tablecloth hung over the polished dark wood table where Eva now placed the tray. ‘Hello, Eva.’ Eva turned to the sound of her sister’s voice. Wearing a crisp white shirt and smart grey trousers and clutching her iPhone, Sarah Devine looked as if she had taken the wrong turning for a business meeting. Beside her, Eva always managed to feel slightly shabby – like the poor relation who had rolled up in skinny jeans and a baggy jumper. ‘Hi, Sarah, how are you?’ Eva smiled, hesitating for a moment before going over for an awkward embrace. ‘Fine. And you?’ ‘Oh you know, the usual,’ she replied overbrightly. ‘Jamie should be in any minute. He’s out in the garden.’ ‘I’ve seen him. He introduced me to your new dog.’ ‘You met Hamish? He’s pretty cute, don’t you think?’ Sarah looked at her and raised an eyebrow. ‘Do you think getting a dog was a good idea?’ Eva felt a pain start to throb in her head. No, it probably wasn’t a good idea, she wanted to scream. But she had done it anyway, for Jamie. Eva wondered if her sister ever made an emotional decision or whether everything in her life was calculated on a spreadsheet. Eva smiled tightly. ‘Well, Jamie loves him and its fun having a dog around the house.’ Helen suddenly bustled in, carrying more plates, followed by Jamie. ‘Mum! Look what Aunt Sarah got me!’ His face a picture of unadulterated joy, he waved an Xbox game in the air: the exact one Eva had planned on giving him as a special Christmas present. Eva swallowed down a burst of anger at her sister. Sarah hadn’t seen her nephew in months – she probably didn’t even know he had started high school, but in typical style had bought him an expensive present. Couldn’t she just spend some time with him, take him to the cinema or something? ‘That was very generous of her,’ Eva said pointedly. ‘It was nothing.’ Sarah waved her hand casually. Eva took a deep breath and asked Jamie if Hamish was now in the car. ‘Yup. And I washed my hands,’ he replied. Now they were all seated at the table, Helen beamed at everyone. ‘Isn’t this nice? Tuck in, everyone!’ Jamie’s eyes hungrily scanned the table and Eva saw his face fall. Plates filled with dainty finger food – quartered sandwiches, scones, and biscuits. Neat tidy food, thought Eva, designed not to leave crumbs. Not like the big spilling-over-the-edge pots of food she made at home. Eva watched her mother’s precise delicate movements as she nibbled a sandwich and then glanced over at Sarah who was sipping her tea, barely touching the food. Eva could swear her mother and sister looked more alike every time she saw them, almost as if they were morphing into the same person, with their neat ice-blonde hair and slender frames. Eva’s wavy darker hair and curvier figure only made her feel more of an outsider than she already did. Only the distinctive green eyes they all shared gave any indication the three women were related. Lost in thought, Eva realized her mother was talking to her. ‘You remember Gail Worthington from my book club?’ Eva didn’t but nodded anyway. ‘Her daughter Sarah is getting married next year. She’s almost forty you know, just goes to show you – it’s never too late!’ ‘That’s nice,’ Eva replied blandly, presuming the implication being that at thirty-four she still had loads of time to ‘find someone’. ‘But of course I don’t suppose you’re likely to meet anyone nice in your line of work are you, darling?’ Helen asked doubtfully. ‘I meet lots of nice people. I had a professional golfer stay this summer – he took Jamie for a round of golf.’ ‘A professional golfer?’ Helen’s face lit up with interest. ‘Yes, he was lovely. And so was his wife.’ Eva suddenly felt mean, but it always vexed her that her mother seemed intent Eva had to be married off yet somehow it was okay for Sarah to be single, presumably because she had a high-flying career. Of course she felt lonely at times and wished she had someone to share things with. But she also knew if a man ever were to become part of her life again he would have to be so special that he probably didn’t exist. Eva would never admit that to her mother though. No single man in a hundred-mile radius would be safe. Eva almost laughed out loud imagining her mother’s reaction if she knew about the handsome physicist now living next door to her. ‘And how is the big school, Jamie?’ ‘S’okay.’ He shrugged. ‘What’s your favourite subject?’ ‘PE,’ Jamie replied brightly. ‘Mmmm.’ Helen smiled demurely before continuing. ‘But you need to work hard at all your subjects, you know. Have you thought yet about what you want to do when you leave school? Things are so competitive these days.’ She gave a knowledgeable nod as Jamie looked over to Eva, unsure how to respond. Eva almost choked on her tea, hardly believing she was hearing the same words that were recited to her over and over when she was in high school. ‘I think first year is more about finding his feet and settling in rather than making any career plans,’ Eva said through gritted teeth before glancing over at Jamie and giving him a reassuring smile. Of course she wanted him to do well in school but she would never make him feel that was the measure of a successful or happy life. A silence hung over the table, the only sound Jamie munching his way through most of the food. Eva reached for a scone and spread a thick layer of butter and jam on it before taking a huge bite. She glanced over at Sarah whose eyes kept flitting to the screen on her precious phone. Eva felt like shouting at her not to be so rude. She wouldn’t tolerate Jamie having any electronic gadgets at the table. Eva didn’t see why she should be allowed to exclude herself from the conversation and decided it was time she joined in. ‘So, Mum says you’re working on a big case just now?’ Sarah looked up from her iPhone. ‘That’s right.’ ‘So what’s it about?’ ‘It’s complicated.’ She exhaled. ‘Basically a private equity group is suing a law firm for negligence. The case is worth about ten million.’ Eva bristled at her condescending tone. Okay, so her job was important but did she have to act so superior about it? ‘Sounds fascinating,’ Eva said dryly. Sarah ignored her and smiled at Helen instead. ‘Oh, Mum, I changed a few things about in my diary so I’ll be able to take you to the chiropodist on Wednesday.’ ‘This Wednesday?’ Eva jumped in. ‘I could take you, Mum. What time is it at?’ Helen shook her head. ‘No it’s fine. Sarah’s taken me before so she knows where to go.’ Eva bit her lip thinking nothing had changed. Ever since they were little girls Sarah had always sought their mother’s approval. Eva had always been closer to her father, preferring to stay with him pottering in the garden or helping him do little jobs while Helen and Sarah favoured shopping. With most of the food finished thanks to Jamie and Eva, Helen turned her attention to Jamie again. ‘Now, Jamie, come and spend some time with me before your mum whisks you away again.’ The remark wasn’t lost on Eva, managing to make it sound as if she never saw him even though she visited as often as possible and was constantly inviting her to visit. Jamie dutifully followed Helen out of the room, throwing Eva an accusing look as he went. She ruffled his hair as he passed and started to collect plates from the table, glancing over to see Sarah’s manicured fingers tapping furiously away. Eva assumed it was business but then what did she know? Maybe she was arranging a romantic rendezvous with a secret lover. She knew so little about her sister’s life these days. How and when it had got to this stage she didn’t know. Their personalities had always been different but once they had been close. Eva remembered the two giggling girls hiding behind the curtains waiting for their dad to come home. Or the teenagers sitting up late into the night discussing what boys they fancied at school. Everything changed after their dad’s heart attack. Instead of bringing them closer, it had seemed to tear them apart. Sarah showed no signs of helping to clear the table and Eva felt a rush of anger. ‘Surely it can wait, whatever it is?’ she snapped. Sarah jumped slightly and looked up. Eva could see slight shadows beneath her sister’s expensive make-up and immediately felt guilty. ‘Is everything all right?’ she asked her. ‘Yes, why shouldn’t it be?’ ‘No reason. I just thought you looked tired.’ ‘Well that’s what happens when you work a fifty-hour week,’ Sarah replied sarcastically. Eva took a deep breath, willing herself to stay calm. Eva knew very well what it was like, but of course Sarah would never acknowledge that. ‘Maybe you could take a break after this case,’ Eva suggested. ‘Maybe,’ she sniffed. ‘It will depend on my work schedule and I can’t just leave Mum.’ ‘Why not?’ Eva asked surprised. ‘She’s not getting any younger you know.’ ‘She looks fine to me. More than fine, in fact. Is there a problem I don’t know about?’ ‘No,’ Sarah replied defensively. ‘She just needs to know I’m here, that’s all. I can’t just take off.’ ‘But I’m here for her too! I’m only an hour away and she could come and stay with me if she wanted.’ Eva had lost count of the times she had invited her mother to come to St Andrews. She glared at Sarah and then shook her head in despair. Balancing a pile of plates in her arms she carried them through to the kitchen, not trusting herself to speak. She plonked the dishes down and began to stack the dishwasher. She took a few calming breaths, suddenly overwhelmed with sadness. She couldn’t bear the thought of her and Sarah spending the next few years fighting like this every time they met until eventually they wouldn’t bother to see each other at all. Maybe if they could see each other in different circumstances and relax, they would have a chance to fix whatever it was that was broken between them. She thought of Jamie’s trip in a couple of weeks. Deep down she knew she’d have to agree to let him go. Until she actually told him though, she felt she still had some control. Once he knew he was going there would be no turning back. She couldn’t even imagine what she would do with herself that weekend. Before she could change her mind, she went back to the dining room. ‘I was thinking, Sarah – Jamie’s got a trip coming up at the end of November – one of those activity weekends for kids. There’s rock climbing, abseiling … that type of thing. I’m a bit nervous about it to be honest, the thought of him doing all those things.’ Eva forced a little laugh, not feeling natural to be confiding in her sister. ‘Anyway, why don’t you come up to St Andrews that weekend? There are some great restaurants. We could go for a few walks, maybe open a few bottles of wine. I think there’s even a winter market on that weekend.’ Sarah looked at her blankly. ‘Sorry, what? Oh no, I’ll be busy that weekend.’ ‘But I didn’t even say which – you know, it doesn’t matter.’ Eva felt her shoulders slump, suddenly deflated. She gathered the linen napkins from the table, absently admiring the orchid design on them. ‘I’d better go and find Jamie and Mum,’ she muttered, not waiting to hear if Sarah replied. In the gleaming new kitchen Eva stood helplessly for a moment. She wished she didn’t have to leave feeling this way. She told herself she’d be home soon, home to her sanctuary. But even that didn’t feel the same any more without the MacKenzies being there. A sudden image of Ben Matthews came into her head and she found herself wondering how he was spending his Sunday. *** Ben had woken late on Sunday, surprised he had slept for so long. In the kitchen he looked out of the window at the inky grey sky and wondered if it rained here every day. Realizing he was hungry he took eggs from the fridge, deciding to make an omelette. After he had eaten maybe he would go for a walk, explore the town some more. He could buy a paper and come back and read it at leisure. It still felt odd having Sundays free. Every Sunday for the past five years he had visited his mother at Cartvale care home. He tried but usually failed to fit in a midweek visit too if work allowed. But he would always spend the whole Sunday with her no matter what. If she was having a good day, they’d walk in the local park or perhaps even have lunch somewhere. In some ways, Ben had started to grieve for his mother years before she actually died. The strong woman who had brought him up alone after his father had died started to disappear long before her diagnosis of early onset Alzheimer’s. Yet even now at odd moments like this, the grief and guilt could creep up on him, its severity taking him by surprise. He took a deep breath, sloshing hot water over the coffee granules in a mug, determined not to go there. In the dining room – now Ben’s makeshift office – he cleared a space on the table for his plate and ate hungrily. He flicked through a few of the papers and books in front of him, his mound of reading to catch up on. His meeting at the university had gone well on Friday. Meeting up with Professor Drummond had felt like reclaiming something valuable from his old life. A slightly eccentric Scot, he had guided Ben through his PhD at Oxford University with patience, wisdom, and more than the odd dram of whisky. Ben had respected him so much and always felt he had let him down in some way, turning his back on research and going to work as an analyst in the city. But the Professor had never passed judgement and had understood Ben’s need to earn the type of money you couldn’t earn in academia. Ben hadn’t been surprised when he discovered his old Professor was now at St Andrews, the oldest university in Scotland. An image of him came to Ben’s mind, sitting by a roaring fire with a tumbler in hand. But Ben knew his Professor’s easy charm was matched by his ferocious intelligence. He was still at the forefront of research into gravitational waves. Ben had read his recently published paper, and knew he wanted to be part of it again. He had responded to Ben’s email with all the enthusiasm Ben remembered. They both knew it wasn’t an obvious or easy option to return to academia from the world of finance but in typical style Professor Drummond had seen it as a positive, not a negative. ‘Be good to get some fresh blood into the place, a new perspective. Things can get a bit stuffy in academia.’ After several exchanged emails, Ben had a formal interview via Skype with the Professor and two of his colleagues in the department. He had been questioned in detail about his plans for research – and more importantly, what funding he would obtain. He had listed the grants he could apply for, what journals he would publish in. Ben had studied the curriculum and courses on offer for students and expressed his willingness to be flexible, happy to fit in with the department’s teaching requirements but also had some ideas of his own about teaching. Конец ознакомительного фрагмента. Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес». 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