His Secondhand Wife

His Secondhand Wife Cheryl St.John Noah Cutter was a man of his word?Scarred in body and soul, rancher Noah didn?t consider himself fit company for anyone. But when his brother?s philandering finally caught up with him, honour dictated that Noah claim his brother?s widow as his own? Noah was about the most intimidating man Katherine had ever seen. Yet though one man?s false promises had already dashed her dreams, she instinctively trusted this stranger. And Kate suspected she?d only be a fool this time if she didn?t take a chance on Noah for the sake of herself?and her unborn child! ?You?re comin? with me.? Kate blinked and glanced around the dingy room. ?I don?t even know you. I don?t know where you live.? ?Spread out by Cooper Creek called Rock Ridge. House and livestock. I mean to take care of you. What more do you need to know?? Noah asked. What more, indeed? Kate?s mind whirled with concern for her desperate circumstances, fear of the future and the shock of her missing husband?s death. The thought of her detested job in the laundry combined with her mother?s suffocating criticism convinced her. Kate had to get away. And she might never have another chance. Kate turned, grabbed a gunnysack and stuffed her meagre belongings into it. She didn?t pause to see if she?d forgotten anything, neither did she stop to think or reconsider. Maybe she was crazy for leaving with a man she?d never met before. Maybe listening to his promises was rash. But, then again, this could be the best thing that had ever happened. Praise forCheryl St John: HIS SECONDHAND WIFE ?A beautifully crafted and involving story about the transforming power of love.? ?Romantic Times BOOKreviews PRAIRIE WIFE ?This is a very special book, courageously executed by the author and her publisher. St John explores the catastrophic loss of a toddler in intimate, painfully beautiful detail. Her considerable skill brings the common theme of the romance novel? love conquers all?to the level of genuine catharsis.? ?Romantic Times BOOKreviews SWEET ANNIE ?A tale brimming with love?Ms St John delivers another wonderful Western historical romance?? ?Romance Reviews Today THE DOCTOR?S WIFE ?Cheryl St John gives testimony to the blessings of family and to the healing powers of love.? ?Romantic Times BOOKreviews THE TENDERFOOT BRIDE ?THE TENDERFOOT BRIDE is a rich tale of life on a ranch, but it is one of the most tender romances I have read in a long time.? ?The Romance Reader Cheryl St John remembers writing and illustrating her own books as a child. She received her first rejection at age fourteen, and at fifteen wrote her first romance. A married mother of four, and a grandmother several times over, Cheryl enjoys her family. In her ?spare? time, she corresponds with dozens of writer friends, from Canada to Texas, and treasures their letters. Recent novels by the same author: SWEET ANNIE JOE?S WIFE THE DOCTOR?S WIFE SAINT OR SINNER THE MISTAKEN WIDOW THE TENDERFOOT BRIDE ALMOST A BRIDE (in Wed Under Western Skies) PRAIRIE WIFE CHRISTMAS DAY FAMILY (in A Western Winter Wonderland) HIS SECONDHAND WIFE Cheryl St John www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk) The story is dedicated in loving memory to my sister-in-law, Judy Smith, who loved to read Harlequin and Silhouette novels and enjoyed so many of the talented category authors. I miss your phone calls, the cheese balls and especially?your laugh. See you soon. Prologue Copper Creek, Colorado April 1890 A sick feeling dipped in Noah Cutter?s stomach as he studied the approaching rider. He dropped the wire cutters and rolled his sleeves down over his arms, snatched the hat he?d hung on a nearby fence post and pulled the brim down to shade his face. His brother was the only person who ever came to Rock Ridge unannounced, and though Noah hadn?t seen him for months, the man on the horse was definitely not Levi. The horse slowed. Noah raised a palm. ?That?s far enough.? ?I have a telegram for ya!? the rider called in the breathless voice of a young man. ?Stick it on the fence there and ride off.? ?The sheriff said it was important you read this. You might wanna send a reply.? ?Leave it on the fence then and back off.? The youth slid uneasily from the horse?s back and loped to the fence. The breeze whipped the paper for an instant, but he flattened it, found an exposed end of wire and poked the missive over the point. He glanced nervously at Noah. Noah observed in silence. The lad grabbed the reins and led the animal a considerable distance away. Slowly, Noah covered the expanse to the flapping paper and plucked it from the fence. Unfolding it, he read the telegram addressed to Sheriff Mc Hargue. Holding body of man in mid to late twenties, fair hair, blue eyes. Gunshot. Pocket watch engraved: ?All my love, Adrienne.? Saloon patrons claim owner from Copper Creek. Advise. Matt Mc Hargue had added his own note at the bottom, two lines in black ink. Maybe you?d better go see the body. Let me know if you want me to tell Estelle. Noah stared at the words until they blurred and his stomach knotted. The pocket watch didn?t mean anything to him; his brother owned several and some had probably been gifts from any of the number of women he drew so effortlessly. The word ?gunshot? leaped out with frightening clarity. The description sounded like Levi, but it probably sounded like a hundred other men in the Rockies, as well. Blond hair and blue eyes didn?t have to mean the dead man was his brother. The message didn?t sit well, but he wouldn?t bet that this couldn?t possibly be Levi. It could very well be. Noah had feared something like this for as long as he could remember. Levi?s reckless philandering was bound to get him into trouble sooner or later. As much disdain as his stepmother held for Noah, he couldn?t let the sheriff be the one to give Estelle such alarming news. The dead man might not be her son, but if he was, his mother deserved more consideration. Noah looked up. ?Let the sheriff know I?ll tell Mrs. Cutter myself,? he called. ?I?ll set out for Masonville at first light tomorrow.? From where he stood, the lad raised a hand. ?I?ll tell ?im.? He climbed onto the back of his horse, gave Noah another quizzical glance and lit out. Losing Levi would be like cutting away another piece of himself. An oppressive sense of dread weighed upon his chest as Noah watched the horse?s hooves kicking up dust in the distance. Don?t let it be Levi. Please don?t let it be Levi. Chapter One The rap on the wood was sharp and insistent. Kate Allen Cutter pushed herself up from her narrow cot and slowly crossed the small dimly lit room while smoothing wrinkles from her faded skirt. She?d left her job at the laundry an hour ago to come home and put up her feet. Her mother wasn?t due back from her shift for another half an hour. She opened the door hesitantly. A hulking mass of a man stood on the step, his shoulders blocking the late-afternoon sun and casting his face into mysterious shadow. Though the day was fair, he wore a Hudson?s Bay coat with the collar turned up and carried a rifle as though it was another appendage. He made no move to displace the weathered black hat pulled low over his eyes. She didn?t know him, and she didn?t get a good feeling from his presence. A shiver of apprehension snaked up her spine. She was alone here, and he was as intimidating a man as she?d set eyes on. Any number of seedy characters passed through Boulder on a regular basis. The length of his shaggy dark hair, his full beard and the concealing brim combined with the sun at his back gave her the impression he?d deliberately planned this time and his arrival to catch her off guard. But that was absurd. Uneasily she found her voice. ?Y-yes?? ?Katherine Cutter?? No preliminaries, no polite introduction; he meant business and his imposing manner flustered her. ?Yes,? she said again. ?Who are you?? ?Noah,? he said simply, as though the name should mean something to her. ?Noah?? she repeated dumbly. ?Noah Cutter.? She blinked in confusion. ?Your brother-in-law,? he clarified. Kate?s heart did a backward tumble in her chest while her thoughts whirred chaotically. Brother-inlaw? It had been five months since she?d seen her husband, and while she remembered Levi mentioning his family, she?d never met any of them. Why would this man seek her out now? Unconsciously she touched her hand to her breast. ?You?you?re Levi?s brother?? He nodded. She stood in his massive shadow, squinting upward, but he didn?t elaborate. Finally she glanced at the shabby room behind her and asked hesitantly, ?Would you like to come in?? ?We need to talk.? She took a step backward. ?Come in then.? He lumbered past her and stood beside the wobbly table. Gathering her shawl around her, Kate stepped toward the window and reached for the shade. She?d been resting with the shade drawn and the room was semidark. She raised it and sunlight spilled across the wooden floor. She hurried toward the stove. ?Can I fetch you a cup of coffee?? ?No. I?m not stayin?. I came to talk.? She caught the odd sound his ?s? made when he spoke the word ?staying.? Boots striking the bare wood floor, he moved to stand with his back to the window and turned to face her, once again silhouetting himself against the light. ?What do you have to say?? she asked. ?How long since you?ve seen Levi?? Humiliating warmth infused her neck and cheeks, and this time she had little attention for his odd-sounding speech. She didn?t want to admit that her husband had taken off without a word and left her to fend on her own. ?He?s been looking for work.? ?For how long?? It made her nervous that she couldn?t see his face. More nervous that he was asking this question. ?A few months.? ?I have bad news for you.? Blood chugging sporadically through her heart, she nervously smoothed her palms over her skirt. ?All right.? ?He was killed last week.? Kate worked the abruptly delivered information around in her mind for a moment, not quite grasping the meaning. Levi had been killed? He was dead? Her heart hammered painfully. ?Are you sure?? ?I?m sure.? ?It couldn?t have been someone else?? She?d prayed every day that Levi would return and take her from this intolerable situation she?d been forced to endure since he disappeared. Now that would never happen! ?Someone who looked like him or someone using his name?? ?I went to Masonville for his body, ma?am.? This time his deep voice was thick with emotion. ?It?s Levi.? Kate?s blood rushed to her ears and pounded. She pictured Levi the way she remembered him, with sun-bleached hair and laughing eyes the color of a summer sky. The hazy image of him cold and lifeless didn?t mesh with her vivid memories. Levi dead? Stars burst behind her eyelids. The bright nimbus of light around the man flickered and dimmed. The woman?s face was alarmingly pale and her eyelids fluttered. Her distraught hazel eyes grew unfocused and Noah caught her as she slid toward the scarred wooden floor, scooping her up in his arms and laying her on the cot. He turned and poured water from a pitcher into a chipped enamel basin. Finding a cloth, he wet it and carried it back to where she lay. He dabbed the cool cloth against the curve of her delicate white cheek, the arch of her fine pale brow and over her smooth forehead. Noah hadn?t been this close to a woman since his childhood, and the disturbing feelings the nearness created combined with her sweet feminine scent to make his hand tremble. Levi?s Katherine had honey-blond hair and skin as smooth and fair as cream. It was obvious why Levi had wanted her. His brother?d had an eye for the ladies?and they for him. But to take one as a wife was so out of character that Noah hadn?t believed it until he?d gone to the local justice, questioned the man and demanded to see the record himself. This place where she lived was little more than a shack, one room with the barest of necessities, and her faded dress appeared to have been made for a larger woman. Levi certainly hadn?t taken his responsibilities as a husband seriously or he would have provided a more fitting home and proper clothing. But then, his brother never had taken responsibility for anything. Another narrow cot pressed against the opposite wall, raising the question of who else slept here. A woodstove kept the meager quarters warm, and Noah considered removing his coat, but chose to keep it and his hat on. No reason for sending her into another swoon if she awoke. He rewet the cloth and dampened her face and neck once again, then reached for her hand to cool a wrist. Her hand lay on the mound he hadn?t noticed until that moment?a considerably rounded belly beneath her loose-fitting dress. The woman was with child. Noah stared hard at the protrusion, his eyes reading more of his brother?s onerous deeds. If it was Levi?s baby. He blinked and rubbed his face with a calloused hand. Placed the cool cloth over his own eyes and pressed in an attempt to clear his head. A sigh arrested his attention and he lowered the cloth to observe the woman. Her eyelids fluttered and lifted, revealing eyes that seemed too dark for such a pale complexion. She turned toward him, so he stood and pulled out a chair to sit with the window at his back. With one hand under her belly, she rose to a sitting position and swung her feet to the floor. ?I?m sorry. I?I?ve never done that before.? ?That Levi?s child you?re carryin??? Anger flitted across her features. ?He is?? Her voice faltered and her expression softened. ?He was my husband. Of course, it?s his child.? She raised a hand to tidy her hair and tuck stray wisps into the thick knot on her neck, then looked back at him. ?What happened to him? I mean, how did he die?? ?Shot.? ?Shot?? Sincere-looking tears gathered in her eyes. Her delicate lips trembled. ?Who shot him?? ?A man.? ?Is the man in jail?? ?There?ll be a trial.? ?What aren?t you telling me? I?ll find out, you know.? ?Might be it?s better to let?? ?Don?t hold it back. I?ll go to the sheriff myself and find out if you don?t tell me.? ?Fella name of Robinson shot ?im over Pony Creek way.? ?Why?? ?Caught Levi with his wife.? It wasn?t shock that passed behind those hazel eyes, it was more like hurt?and shame. She didn?t have anything to be ashamed of. ?How?d you know about me?? she asked. Before he could reply, the door opened. Noah turned to see a reed-thin, stoop-shouldered woman in a worn coat enter the room. Her suspicious gaze shot from Katherine to Noah. ?What?s he doin? here?? ?This is Levi?s brother, Mama.? She hung her coat on a hook inside the door, revealing a thin shawl and faded dress. ?And where is that no account brother o? yourn? We haven?t seen hide nor hair of ?im since he got my Katy in the family way and lit out.? ?Mama,? the daughter cautioned. ?No sense mincin? around, is there?? she asked. ?You?d think the girl would have more sense than to marry on a whim, but you can?t tell her a dad-blamed thing. Always was flighty, that one. Always thinkin? she was better and dreamin? of a big house to live in. Told her a hundred times life deals you the rotten hand you deserve, and you just have to play it the way you see it. There ain?t no fairy-tale endings to be had.? Katherine?s cheeks blushed scarlet and it was obvious she held herself in check from replying. ?My brother?s dead,? Noah said bluntly, cutting off the woman?s bleak tirade. He?d come to grips with the fact himself the day before and had used the better part of the night and this day to work up a plan and the grit to come see Levi?s wife. The older woman had stopped her harangue mid-sentence and blinked first at Noah, then at her daughter. Her eyes narrowed. ?What happened to ?im?? ?Shot.? ?Up to no good, was he?? she said with a knowing shake of her head and a gleam in her eye. ?Well, you?re better off without him, girlie. He weren?t going to be no kind of father nohow, and he woulda made your life miserable if?n he?d a come back into it. Now you can quit moonin? and get your mind right and get on with your job and feedin? that kid for the next fifteen or so years till he breaks your heart.? Katherine?s eyes closed against the harsh words and Noah?s temperature inched upward another degree, though he didn?t think it was due to the coat this time. ?Mama, Levi was Mr. Cutter?s brother. We should show him our sympathy.? ?Him? What about you? You?re the one married the weasel and landed yourself in this mess. What?s she supposed to do now?? she asked, snidely addressing Noah. ?Woman like her with a babe and no man don?t stand a snowball?s chance in hell. She?ll be on her back down at Ripley?s inside a year, mark my words.? ?Mama!? Katherine objected. Noah cut in at the same time. ?I came to take her.? Katherine and her mother both turned to him and stared. His abrupt words hung in the air. ?What did you say?? the younger woman finally asked. ?You?re comin? with me.? She blinked and glanced around the dingy room. ?I don?t even know you. I don?t know where you live.? ?Spread out by Copper Creek called Rock Ridge. House and livestock. I mean to take care of you. What more do you need to know?? What more, indeed? Kate?s mind whirled with concern for her desperate circumstances, fear of the future and the shock of her missing husband?s death. She struggled to clear her thoughts and to focus on what this man was saying. She?d worked in that godawful laundry since she was eleven years old. She was twenty-five now, so that was over half of her life. She didn?t want her child raised in this mean city environment?neither did she want him left on a back stoop all day while she worked, raised the way she had been. The thought of her detested job combined with her mother?s suffocating criticism to convince her. She had to get away. And she might never have another chance. ?I can work for you,? she said quickly. ?I can do laundry and cook and clean. I can learn to do just about anything?garden or help with the stock.? Her mother stared at her. ?I?m a quick learner,? Kate added. ?And I?m not sickly. What happened a minute ago, that was the only time. You won?t have to mollycoddle me.? ?What are you sayin?, girl?? Her mother raised a hand and pointed at Noah. ?You sellin? yourself off to this man now? He just wants free labor.? ?I got hands, lady, and I pay ?em well,? he corrected in a gruff tone. The woman squinted in suspicion. ?What do you need her for then?? ?Appears she?s the one needs me.? Noah turned his attention to the daughter. ?Coming?? Kate turned, grabbed a gunny sack and stuffed her meager belongings into it. She didn?t pause to see if she?d forgotten anything, neither did she stop to think or to reconsider. She plucked her coat and bonnet from the hook, worked her feet into her boots and walked to the door. ?Goodbye, Mama. I?ll write.? The big man followed her out, took hold of her elbow and guided her to a horse tied at the post. ?I have a wagon at the livery,? he said. ?To carry the coffin home.? She tied the limp ribbons of her blue gingham sunbonnet under her chin. ?Of course.? ?For now, it?s the horse.? ?I?m fine with that.? He placed one foot in the stirrup and, with a creak of leather, hoisted himself onto the saddle, then reached down to her. ?Katy, you crazy fool girl, don?t think you can come back here again after you make a mess o? things one more time!? her mother cawed from behind. Kate took Noah Cutter?s gloved hand, stepped on his boot and pulled herself up behind his massive form. He raised his coat and ordered, ?Hold on to my belt.? Kate did as told, first encountering his wide leather holster, then finding the warmth of his flannel shirt against her fingers intimate but comforting. He urged the horse into motion and she hung on. ?Katy!? She didn?t look back. She?d been a dolt to fall for Levi Cutter, his handsome face and winsome ways. She?d made a fool of herself and he?d left her behind like so much used garbage. All her dreams for a better life and her hopes of leaving this place had been dashed. Taking a good hard look inside herself, she questioned if her heart had been broken or if her pride had simply been wounded. The ache in her chest was more shame than hurt. Maybe she was crazy for leaving with a man she?d never met before. Maybe listening to his promise of a home and setting out without a backward glance was rash. But then again, this could be the best thing that had ever happened. Maybe there was still a chance for her and her baby to have a good life. And she?d be crazy not to take a chance on that. Chapter Two The bearded giant was silent the entire ride to the livery, as well as while he prepared the wagon, tied his horse to the rear and ushered her up to the seat. The brim of his black felt hat shaded his face the whole while, so without deliberately staring, she still hadn?t had a good look at the man. For several minutes Kate studied the plain pine box that held her husband before settling herself and determinedly looking ahead. She hadn?t had time to absorb all that was happening and still felt a little numb. She was sure reality would catch up with her later. Finally, Noah Cutter climbed up beside her and took up the reins in hands sheathed by tanned leather gloves. ?How far is Copper Creek?? she asked. ??Bout a day and a half?s ride west.? ?You mean, we?ll be traveling all night?? ?We?ll camp to rest the horses.? She nodded and prepared herself for the journey and the new experience. Her stomach felt a little queasy now that she was going through with this. ?I?ve lived my whole life in Boulder.? He didn?t respond, so she took her last look at the city she detested, thought of all the miners?and well-to-do residents? clothing she?d washed and ironed over the years, and said a silent good riddance. Even if she had to do laundry for this man and his family for the rest of her years, it would be less of a burden than scraping out an existence on her own. ?Tell me about your home.? ?Run several thousand head on the Rockin? C. Good water and grazing.? ?What about the house?? ?My father built it. Two stories, a front porch. The hands eat in a separate building.? ?Do you have a family there?? ?Levi was my family.? No wife or children? ?Where will I stay?? ?Four rooms upstairs, one is mine. You can have one on the opposite end.? ?I will work for my keep, I was serious about that.? She felt his gaze on her, as though he was sizing her up for her usefulness. She glanced toward him, but he looked away, hair and hat brim once again shading his face. ?Is the Rockin? C where Levi grew up?? He nodded. ?He never told me much about his family. I never knew where he was from. Does your father know about?about what happened to Levi yet?? ?My father?s dead.? ?Your mother?? she ventured. ?Mother, too. Wired Levi?s mother. She?ll be ex-pectin? us.? ?You and Levi had different mothers?? He nodded again. Kate studied the countryside, weary of pulling information from the taciturn man. There was snow on the mountain peaks, but the conifers blanketing the lower regions were a dozen shades of vivid green. A craggy range blanketed in white caught her attention and she pointed. ?Look how much snow is left.? ?Indian Peaks,? he replied. They crossed a river at a shallow spot where farther down, it fed into a wide lake. ?Oh, it?s so pretty. It?s turquoise.? He squinted toward the lake she indicated without comment and guided the team up the bank. Noah followed a rutted trail that cut around rock formations every so often. ?The rocks are so big! You can almost imagine that the shapes are animals or faces, can?t you?? Kate studied the enormous jutting stones. ?Have you ever seen anything equal to them?? He glanced at her, then away. She straightened her skirt primly. ?You?re thinking I?ve lived in Boulder all these years and never seen much of anything. It?s a shame, isn?t it? I always wanted to travel, to see all the sights and the country beyond the city. Levi was going to take me after?well, he was going to take me. Have you traveled many places?? ?Not many.? She?d never traveled farther than the streets of the city where she was born until yesterday. ?Have you been in other states?? He nodded. ?Where? Have you seen the ocean?? ?I?ve been to Texas and back. Seen Nebraska and Kansas.? ?I?d love to see the ocean. I?ve read about it and I?ve seen paintings. I saw an exhibit once. An artist from Maine had a show and gave all the girls at the laundry a ticket to go see her work. Lovely pastel colors they were, blues and greens and lavenders. Pinks, too. It would be ever so lovely to be able to paint like that, don?t you think?? He shrugged as though he?d never thought about it. The sun dipped low and the air took a chill. Kate pulled on her coat and fell silent. Eventually, Noah led the wagon toward a stand of cottonwoods that lined a streambed and brought it to a halt. Kate studied her surroundings. ?Is this where we?re spending the night?? With a grunt, he climbed down. She stood, her muscles stiff from the long ride on the hard seat, and he came around to help her. She studied the top of his hat, the expanse of shoulders in that coat, and accepted the gloved hand he raised. ?Oh, oh my. Oh, dear.? Her feet touched the ground and her hips and back complained. ?Where shall I?um?? He jerked a thumb over his shoulder, indicating the shrubs and trees along the stream. ?Oh. Thank you. I?ll be right back.? Noah glimpsed her limping toward the stream and unharnessed the team. He?d never known a person could talk so much. Katherine had barely paused for breath since they?d left Boulder. Not that he minded. As long as she didn?t expect him to keep up one side of the conversation, she could talk herself hoarse if she chose. And she might, if today had been any indication. He untied his gray and led all three animals to the stream to drink. Once they?d had their fill, he tethered them where they could crop grass. From his saddlebags, he took a dented coffeepot and fixins for a meal. The young woman returned and removed her bonnet. ?What can I do?? He gestured to the pot. ?Need water.? She picked up the container. ?I?ll be right back.? He watched her leave. Of course she?d be right back?where else would she go? He found a dry limb, broke it up and, with sticks for kindling, got a fire started. Kate returned with the pot. ?Do you have a tent?? ?No.? ?Are we going to sleep out in the open, then? That will be an adventure. Once when I was small, Mama and I didn?t have a place to stay for a few weeks and we slept under a broken wagon behind the stables. It didn?t rain, but it did get cold at night. I remember looking up and seeing all the stars. I?m sure we?ll be able to see even more of the sky out here so far from buildings.? Noah sliced salt pork into the skillet and let it sizzle before prying open a can of beans with his knife. ?Do you do everything with your gloves on? I?ve never seen anyone do that, but I?ve never known any cowboys or ranchers up close. Guess it keeps you from cutting yourself on the can, huh?? By the time the food was done, night had fallen. Noah removed his gloves and divided the food onto two tin plates. He handed one, along with a spoon, to Katherine. ?Thank you.? She took a seat on the ground beside the fire. Out of habit, Noah situated himself so that his hat shaded his face from the glow of the flames. Kate kept silent long enough to eat. Finished, she picked up the empty skillet. ?I?ll wash these in the stream.? Noah handed her his empty plate and she got up and moved away. He laid out a bedroll on either side of the fire, checked the chambers in his .45 and sat on his blankets. ?What shall I do with these?? Katherine had returned. ?Stand ?em against that log. Fire?ll dry ?em.? Noah watched her arrange the skillet and plates with great care before settling on the other bedroll and removing her shoes. She unfolded her blanket and lay down, pulling up the wool covering. Noah settled his hips into a dip on the hard ground and closed his eyes. Tomorrow he would have to see Estelle and deal with her. ?Did you ever see anything equal to all those stars in the sky?? Katherine asked. ?It makes me feel so small lying here. Just think, somewhere in a foreign land, maybe in Spain or Egypt, people like us are looking up and seeing the same heavens at the same time. And they?re wondering about us.? ?Could be it?s daytime there,? he replied matter-of-factly. ?Well, somewhere far away it?s night,? she said, unflustered by his lack of imagination. ?Do you know what the constellations are called?? ?Some of ?em.? ?What?s that one?? ?North Star, part of Big Bear, and over there?s Little Bear.? ?Imagine,? she said on a sigh. ?Explorers have been finding their way across oceans guided by the same stars for all of time. All the people who ever lived, people in the Bible even, have seen the same stars.? ?Some have probably burned out.? ?Maybe.? Didn?t she ever wear down? What had he gotten himself into? ?Thank you for coming to tell me about Levi today,? she said, her soft voice carrying across the flickering fire. ?And thank you for knowing I?d need your help. I wouldn?t have wanted my baby to grow up like I did. I want better for him. Levi was going to move us somewhere nice, somewhere so that our baby could go to school and grow up with friends and neighbors around.? Noah suspected that Katherine would never have seen Levi again, even if he hadn?t been killed. ?If you hadn?t come, I?d have been stuck in that place,? she said. ?So?well, thanks.? ?Get some sleep. We move on early.? A few minutes later her voice once again carried across the fire. ?Are there any wild animals out here?? ?Maybe.? ?Are we safe?? ?The fire and our scent will hold ?em off.? ?Oh.? Finally silence. He spent a restless night, thinking of his brother?s body in the wagon bed, the woman across the fire and what he was going to do with her and a baby. He?d slept hard for a couple of hours, then woke with a start to check his pocket watch. After rolling his blankets, he made a trip to the stream, watered the horses and harnessed the team. He rekindled the fire, stirred dough and baked a pan of biscuits. Katherine woke to the smell and sat, immediately pressing a hand to the small of her back. He regretted making her spend a night on the ground and two days on a wagon seat, but he would have her safely to his house later today. She was strangely quiet that morning as she got herself ready. When she sat near the fire, he handed her a plate of biscuits and a cup of coffee. ?You all right?? She nodded. ?Thanks.? Without another word, she ate and drained her cup. She then took the skillet, plates and cups to the water and returned with them clean. ?Seat?s hard,? he said finally. ?I can spread blankets in the back.? She seemed to consider, and he imagined she thought of riding beside Levi?s coffin before she declined. Instead he used the blankets to pad the seat before he helped her up. As the morning wore on, her silence burned off like the dew, and by the time the sun was high and warm, she was chattering beside him as though she?d never stopped. She commented on the shapes of the clouds, the spring green of the leaves and plants, the snow on the peaks in the distance and the degree of warmth from the sun. Noah was plum tuckered from the effort of keeping up with her constant stream of dialogue. But she didn?t seem to care that he rarely replied, and most of her questions were rhetorical, and so it was with supreme relief as they reached Rock Ridge that he decided she wouldn?t be difficult to have living under his roof. His only experience with women in his adult life had been with his stepmother and the wives of nearby ranchers, none of whom had ever inspired him to take one of his own. No woman would ever want him, anyway. ?Are those your cows?? Katherine asked as they passed a herd grazing along a grassy slope. He nodded. ?I can hardly wait to see my new home.? Excitement laced her voice and Noah tried to imagine the Rockin? C through a stranger?s eyes. To him it had always been home. From the top of a grassy ridge, the entire valley where the ranch buildings sprawled came into view. Trees dotted the landscape, a pond glistened in the sunlight and a long, shallow riverbed snaked along low ground. Nestled between windbreaks of cottonwood and aspen, the house, meal kitchen and other outbuildings were the only flecks of white on the landscape. ?Oh,? she breathed in awe, and was silent for several moments. He couldn?t help wondering what she was thinking, but as usual he didn?t have to wait long for her thoughts to tumble out. ?It?s beautiful. The most beautiful place I?ve ever seen. The best I could have imagined. The house is so big. How many people live in it?? ?Two now.? ?What about your hands?? ?Bunkhouse.? ?Don?t you have other helpers?? ?Marjorie Benson, wife of one o? the hands, comes twice a week to clean and do wash. They have a cabin a mile yonder.? ?Who cooks for the hands?? ?Fergie. Bunks with the others.? ?So you?ve been living in that big place all by yourself?? He nodded. ?What about your stepmother? Levi?s mother, where does she live?? ?Fancy house in town.? ?Fancier than this place?? Noah led the team closer to the house, and the closer they got, the bigger Katherine?s eyes grew. ?Inside needs some fixin? up,? he told her. ?I reckon you could do that.? Noah stopped the team between the house and the barn. Two men came forward to unhitch the horses. A couple others stood outside the barn, watching with obvious curiosity. Noah climbed down, then assisted Katherine. He glanced at the men, straightened and said brusquely, ?Levi took a wife. This is Katherine.? The men immediately doffed their hats and nodded politely. ?Ma?am.? Uncomfortable with being a spectacle, she merely nodded a greeting. ?Grab a couple sawhorses and bring the coffin in,? Noah ordered the men. ?To the dining room. Bring somethin? to use to pry open the lid.? One man ducked into the barn. The one closest to the wagon held his hat against his chest. ?How do, ma?am? I?m Tipper Benson. That was Lucky.? ?Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Benson.? Noah grabbed the sack that contained her few possessions, gestured for her to follow and guided her toward the house. The front porch shaded the entire front and curlicue trim enhanced the beams and the rails. Noah opened the front door and led her into the cool, dim interior. Kate observed her new surroundings with interest. The enormous rooms held an assortment of upholstered chairs and oak tables. She noticed a stone fireplace with a plain wood mantel and rugs on the wood floors. Noah pointed to the stairway, so she gripped the railing and preceded him. An empty plant stand stood on the landing next to a window with a view of the side yard. They reached the top and faced a long hallway with doors on either side. ?That?s mine.? Noah pointed to the first on the left, but kept moving. He didn?t slow until he reached the door farthest from his and on the right. He gestured for her to enter the room ahead of him. Kate stepped inside. The dark floor was polished to a shine and showed no sign of wear. A small settee and overstuffed chair?also appearing unused?sat on a large round rug beside a warming stove. The bed was a big four-poster with a high headboard and a flower-sprigged coverlet that matched the curtains. A tall bureau sat against one wall, a wardrobe on another. Noah glanced around and set down her bag. ?Marjorie keeps it clean.? ?It?s the nicest place I?ve ever stayed,? she said with all sincerity and a touch of awe. ?I?ve been in houses this nice when I delivered laundry, but I only dreamed of living in one.? Noah Cutter was obviously a very rich man. Land and cattle and a home like this. And Levi had been his only family. ?Rest,? he said. ?I?ll bring water.? And with that he was gone. Kate looked around the room, strolling over to peer at her windblown reflection in the mirror above the washstand. She removed her bonnet and absently tucked in stray hair. A few minutes later he entered with a bucket and poured water into a pitcher on the washstand. Without another word, he turned and left, closing the door behind him. After setting her bonnet down, Kate removed her coat and wandered to the window. In the yard below, she saw Noah stride toward the barn. What a strange man. What a strange predicament. Removing the clothing she?d slept in, she used the water and a bar of lovely smelling soap she found on the stand. The ceramic bowl was so large, she stood in it and used the pitcher to rinse. The process wasn?t as good as a bath, but getting clean felt heavenly. From the stand, she gathered toweling that smelled of the sun and dried herself, then rummaged in her bag and donned clean underclothes. After hanging the towels to dry, she tested the mattress, found it soft and comfortable and stretched out to rest her weary body. Noah grabbed two full plates from the warming oven in the meal house and carried them to his kitchen. It was his habit to take his meal home and eat alone, and no one questioned the act now. He didn?t know what to do about Katherine, though. The house was dim and quiet, so he set their meals on the table and climbed the stairs. At the end of the hall, he tapped. Tapped again. ?Yes?? ?Supper.? ?Oh, all right. I?ll be down in a moment.? He struck a match and lit an oil lamp on the wall so she could find her way on the stairs. True to her word, she showed up in the kitchen almost immediately. The wrinkled dress she wore had two rows of frills at the hem and another around the bodice, like something he imagined a young woman would wear to a summer picnic. The only light came through the isinglass window on the stove. He pointed to a chair, and she sat. Noah pushed a plate in front of her. Katherine picked up her fork. ?Thank you.? He sat at the opposite end of the table. ?Shall I light the lamp?? she asked. ?No.? ?All right.? She took a bite of the stew. ?I guess I slept longer than I expected to.? ?You were tired.? She nodded. ?Perhaps tomorrow I?ll have a chance to look around and meet some of the hands.? ?Most?ll be bringing cows down out of the hills.? ?What for?? ?Branding.? ?I see. I can do laundry, you know. It?s what I do well?best actually. I won?t mind taking over that chore.? ?Marjorie earns extra doin? laundry. Wouldn?t take her job away.? ?Oh. Of course not. Well, I could make our meals. I?m not a very good cook, truly, but I can learn.? ?That?s Fergie?s job.? ?Oh.? She glanced around the room, perhaps hoping to see something interesting in the shadowy corners. ?Coffee?? he offered. ?Yes. Thank you.? He got up, poured two tin mugs from the pot on the stove and sat one in front of her. ?I should be doing this for you.? She smiled hesitantly and glanced up, but he turned away and strode to the far side of the table. ?Room all right?? he asked. ?The room is lovely, thank you. I guess it wasn?t Levi?s?I mean, since it?d decorated with flowers.? ?No.? ?Well, it?s very nice. Thank you for the warm water, too.? He should have thought she?d want a bath and offered to fill the steel tub. ?You want a bath, just ask. I?ll fill the tub for you.? ?Perhaps tomorrow morning. I would like to wash my hair.? He nodded. ?Anything you need. Clothing.? He gestured helplessly, having no idea what women needed. ?You can shop in Cedar Creek.? ?I have two nice dresses.? She flattened the ruffles at her bodice with a hand. ?I was the smallest at the laundry when the owner didn?t claim them. I suspect they belonged to a much younger girl, because of the ruffles, but nonetheless I was fortunate to receive such fine quality clothing.? ?Uh-huh.? ?What do you do here of an evening?? ?Work the stock. Tally the calves and accounts. Go to bed.? ?I see.? ?Books in the parlor. Help yourself.? She inclined her head in acceptance. Her thoughts traveled to Levi?s body, which she?d overheard Noah telling the hands to carry to the dining room. ?Will there be a funeral?? ?Visitation tomorrow. Levi?s mother, Estelle, will be here. We?ll bury him early Thursday.? ?Oughtn?t someone be sitting with the body?? ?Go ahead.? ?I suppose you think it?s odd that I haven?t cried.? ?No.? ?I cried so much when Levi left that I guess I?m all cried out. That was five months ago. Maybe it just hasn?t hit me yet that he?s dead.? Or that he was with another man?s wife, Noah thought. She?d barely fluttered an eyelash at that news. Maybe she was just a lot stronger than she looked. Katherine stood. ?I?ll wash these plates.? ?Set ?em outside the back door. Fergie?ll get ?em.? She did as instructed. Noah stood. ?I have work to do. Good night.? ?Good night.? He turned and entered the small room where he kept a desk and his ledgers and closed the door behind him. Kate lit an oil lamp and carried it to the dining room, where she sat it on a long table that had been pushed to the side to make room for the coffin and an array of chairs. She seated herself in the chair nearest the closed casket. The baby chose that moment to give her a healthy jab and she covered the spot with her palm. ?I?m here, Levi,? she said softly into the still room. ?Your baby and I are here. At your home. Noah came to fetch me. He?s a strange fellow, your brother. I still haven?t had a good look at him. But he?s very nice. And he?s making a home for us. Like you were going to do.? She blinked and let her gaze travel the pine box. ?Why didn?t you come back? I thought you loved me.? Her voice broke and her throat grew thick with tears. ?I thought we were going to be a family. You said you?d find a job and come back for us. We?d have a fine house, you said.? She recalled what Noah had told her about a man named Robinson catching Levi with his wife. The pain of that betrayal had begun to sink in. ?What you did was wrong,? she whispered into the still room. ?You left me waiting. Were you ever going to come back? Were all those promises you made just lies?? He hadn?t even been where he?d told her he was going. He?d lied. And he?d left her. Played her for a fool. He?d been attentive and hadn?t given her time to breathe when he?d been eager to kiss her and make love to her. She?d held out, sure that she wanted to be a virgin when she married. And he?d asked her to marry him. Swept her off to a preacher and spoken the vows all pretty and nice. They?d spent two weeks together in his room at the boarding house, eating in the restaurant, making love each night. And then he?d started slipping away to play poker, staying out late and coming in drunk. She hadn?t been happy about that and they?d fought. For another week he?d stayed close, but then he told her he was going to look for a job. He needed to get away from the city, and there was nothing she wanted more, so she?d encouraged the plan. She?d cheerfully waved him off and watched for his return. He hadn?t thought it would take more than a week or two. Three weeks turned into four and she couldn?t afford the room at the boarding house on her own. Kate got sick every morning, bleak evidence that Levi had left a babe in her belly. She?d set aside her pride then and asked her mother to let her stay with her until Levi came back. Her mother had harped from day one that Levi was out for one thing and once he had it he?d be gone, and Levi?s disappearance had been her opportunity to rub Kate?s nose in callous I-told-you-sos. Kate had swallowed embarrassment and clung to her hope that Levi would be back. Her time at the laundry and at her mother?s was marked. She?d be leaving any day. Each day her hope slipped a notch. Each week her anger and shame increased. Each month her desperation had grown until she didn?t know whether it or the baby was feeding off her soul. ?You lied,? she accused, her voice no longer wavering. ?You used me and you lied. I want to forgive you. I should. I know I should sit here and pray for your soul and forgive you. But you know what, Levi? I don?t forgive you.? She stood and turned her back on the coffin holding her husband?s body. ?I just might never forgive you.? And with that, she picked up the lamp and swept from the room. Chapter Three As he?d promised, Noah filled a tub of hot water for her the following morning. The shades were already pulled?she?d noticed he preferred them that way, and as he left the kitchen, he told her to lock the door behind him. ?Won?t be back till evenin?,? he said. ?But Estelle will be here before long.? ?I?ll be ready,? she promised. She locked the door, removed her clothing, then soaked in the deliciously hot water before washing her hair. Finished, she stoked the stove, combed out her hair and heated a flatiron to press the wrinkles from her dress. She had donned it and was pinning up her hair when there was a knock at the door. Kate unlocked and opened it. A handsome woman wearing a black dress and matching hat held a vase of flowers while she looked Kate over from head to toe. She had graying brown hair and aristocratic high cheekbones. Her blue eyes widened when she noted the girth of Kate?s belly. ?Oh my!? She stepped into the room. ?You?re Katherine?? ?Yes, ma?am. And you?re Levi?s mother?? Tears welled in the woman?s eyes. She turned away, set down the vase and tugged off her black gloves. ?I can?t believe he?s gone. He was my only child.? The complete lack of regard for her stepson struck Kate as insensitive, but she replied, ?I?m so sorry for your loss.? She faced Kate once again. ?You?re with child?? Kate unconsciously touched her stomach. ?Yes.? ?Noah didn?t bother to tell me.? ?He didn?t know until two days ago. I don?t think he knew about me until then. I?m not quite sure how he did know to find me.? ?He said the men who?associated with Levi in Masonville told him where he?d find you.? ?Oh. I see.? Estelle moved to the nearest window and opened the shade with a cluck of disapproval. ?Can?t have you sitting in the dark now, can we?? ?I just finished bathing and ironing my dress.? Estelle glanced from the tub of water to Kate?s dress. Her mouth seemed pinched when she said, ?Don?t you have something black? You?re in mourning, after all.? ?This is my nicest dress. I know it barely fits now, but it?s quite pretty.? ?As my son?s wife, you?ll need appropriate clothing.? Kate looked down at her ruffled bodice and some of her optimism faded. Perhaps the dress was inappropriate for a widow. The woman opened the door and hurried onto the back stoop where she rang the dinner bell. Two hands came running as though there was an emergency. ?Somethin? wrong, Mizz Cutter?? ?Come empty the tub before company arrives,? she instructed. They glanced at one another and lumbered forward. ?Harper Kimble,? the man with a mustache said to Kate as he passed. He wore fringed trousers and a red shirt with flowing sleeves. ?Kate Cutter,? she replied. ?Pleased to meet you.? ?Newt Warren, ma?am,? the other man said as he picked up a bucket. The two of them bailed bathwater and Estelle picked up the flowers and led Kate into the dining room. After placing the vase on the table, the woman left the shades down on the other windows and lit candles, then moved to stand beside the coffin. ?Why is it closed?? Kate shook her head. ?I don?t know.? ?Have you not looked upon your husband?? She hadn?t thought of it. Hadn?t wanted to really. Noah told her he was in there and that was good enough for her. ?No.? ?Mr. Kimble! Mr. Warren!? Estelle called. The two men appeared in the doorway. ?One more thing. Please remove the lid from my son?s casket.? They moved into the room and Kate took a step back. One man stood on each end and they lifted off the wood and set it against the wall behind the sawhorses. With heads lowered respectfully, the men gazed upon the body. ?That will be all.? Estelle waited until they?d left the room before she moved to stand beside the coffin. She trembled and raised a handkerchief to her eyes, sobbing out loud. Kate?s breath caught in her throat. She didn?t want to look at Levi, but couldn?t help herself. She gazed upon his handsome profile, noticed the way his hair was combed uncharacteristically away from his forehead. ?He was a beautiful baby,? Estelle cried. ?A beautiful golden-haired child and the most handsome man. Isn?t he handsome?? Kate nodded. Levi had been handsome, no question about it. Even his smile stole a woman?s breath. Estelle blotted her eyes and asked, ?Who dressed him?? Kate peered at the dark suit Levi wore. She?d never seen it before. ?I did.? Noah spoke from behind them. Startled, Kate turned. For the first time she saw him without a hat. His chin-length hair hung over the side of his face and combined with his beard to hide his features. The older woman turned and glared at her stepson. ?You might have covered the sawhorses and brought in flowers. Is this the best you could do for a coffin for your only brother?? Noah stared back at her. ?Pretty ?im up, huh? Wouldn?t change anything, would it?? Despite the beard, Kate noted that his mouth turned up with an odd sort of grimace at the corner and that that side didn?t move when he spoke. Perhaps that was the reason his speech sounded unusual. ?I might have known you wouldn?t show him any respect.? ?I loved him?I don?t respect what he did.? Estelle cast him a censoring frown. ?Are you going to speak of it in front of her?? ?She knows. Asked what happened and I told her.? ?You might have spared her.? ?Spared you, you mean.? ?You?re a dreadful man.? Shocked, Kate spoke up. ?I made Noah tell me. I wanted the truth. He?s been nothing but kind and considerate of my feelings and my well-being. You have no call to be angry with him, I assure you.? ?You poor girl,? Estelle said, moving to drape her arm around Kate?s shoulders. ?What a burden you?ve been given. First Levi?s untimely death and then exposure to this heathen. You?ll come home with me after the funeral tomorrow. I have room for you, and you won?t have to stay here another minute longer than necessary.? ?That?s very kind of you. But I think this arrangement is going to work out just fine. I?d rather not live in town. Noah has my best interests at heart, I?m convinced.? ?Don?t be foolish, dear. You?re understandably upset and you?re not thinking clearly. You?ll be better off with me?another woman. You?ll be closer to the doctor and the stores and there are many social activities to help pass your days. I know firsthand what a dreadful bore it is being out here on this godforsaken ranch day after day.? Kate experienced a twinge of anger at the woman for supposing to know what she wanted and deciding what was best for her without bothering to ask. She didn?t want to offend Levi?s mother, but neither did she want to have her choices made for her. Her resistance seemed laughable, really, if she thought about it, because Noah had insisted she come with him, as well. But she?d wanted to accompany him. She did not want to leave with Estelle. ?I?ll remember your kind invitation if I should ever change my mind.? Estelle turned to glare at Noah. ?That?s my son?s baby. You won?t keep him from me.? Noah had turned to leave, but paused in the doorway. ?No, that?s Katherine?s baby. The choices are hers.? He left and the two women exchanged a glance. Kate felt a surge of satisfaction because Noah had stood up to the woman on her account. The sound of a horse and buggy prevented any further discussion as the first guests of the day arrived to pay their respects. Levi had been the son of a town founder, part owner of the Rockin? C, and townsfolk and neighboring ranchers trailed through for hours. As dusk settled, the string of visitors finally ended. ?Wasn?t it odd that Noah didn?t attend all day?? Kate asked Estelle. She had met dozens of curious strangers, some she sensed were only there to look around, but Noah had kept his distance. ?The man?s not fit for society and he knows his place,? she replied. ?What do you mean?? ?Even his own father couldn?t bear the sight of him.? ?You make it sound as though Noah is some kind of monster.? ?Indeed.? ?I?ve noticed his speech is odd. What I can see of his mouth looks somewhat?different.? ?Hideous, you mean. As is his entire face.? ?What?s wrong with it?? ?An accident scarred him. Don?t make me talk about him?it?s too unpleasant. We?ve plenty of dishes to choose from for our supper. It?s so kind of the ladies to bring gifts of sympathy. Let?s set the kitchen table and dine now, shall we?? She opened a cupboard. ?Not a decent piece of china in the entire house.? After looking over the items to choose from, Estelle selected two chipped plates and arranged place settings. ?What about Noah? You?ve only set places for two.? ?He won?t join us. He eats alone.? ?He ate with me last night.? Estelle gave her a surprised glance. Noah entered the house at that moment, his hat low over his forehead. ?Will you be sharing our meal?? Kate asked hopefully. He glanced at Estelle, then at the two plates on the table. ?No.? ?Please?? Kate?s soft plea stopped him in his tracks. He turned to eye her. ?Please join us,? she said again. Ignoring Estelle?s scowl, he took off the hat and hung it beside the door, then turned back and seated himself at the far end of the table. Quickly, Kate got another plate and more silverware and set it in front of him. Moving close to do so, she noted the back of his right hand, dark from the sun, but ridged with a jagged pale scar. What kind of accident had scarred his hands and his face? A fall from a horse? They weren?t burns. ?Mrs. Krenshaw brought buttermilk,? she said cheerfully. ?Do you like buttermilk?? He nodded without looking at her, and she poured a Mason jar full to set in front of him. After taking the warmed casseroles and dishes from the oven, she served Noah and then she and Estelle seated themselves. ?Katherine will need appropriate clothing,? Estelle said brusquely. ?Black for mourning and material adequate for the coming months. I will take her to Annie Carpenter?s place. Annie still sews for a select few women, and she?s the best seamstress in a hundred miles.? To Kate, she added, ?Comes from a fine family, Annie does. The Sweetwaters have a lovely home. Annie married the blacksmith. Her parents weren?t too happy about that at first, but he provides well for her.? ?I don?t want to be a burden. I can work to pay for my own clothing.? Kate looked to Noah. ?I can take in laundry if you don?t mind me using your tubs. I see there?s a fine room in which to do the chore. I could have more clothesline strung.? ?Certainly not,? Estelle answered immediately. ?Cutter women do not take in laundry. You?re Levi?s wife and as the mother of his child, you?re entitled to privileges. This ranch provides more than enough to meet your needs.? ?I wouldn?t mind, really.? Estelle made it sound as though there was shame in the task. Noah finished a bite. ?Don?t recall ever agreein? before, but Estelle?s right. You don?t need to take in laundry.? Estelle bobbed her head as though punctuating his speech. ?You see? I?m right.? Kate stared at her plate, wishing she knew a way to earn her keep that would be acceptable to these two. As much as they seemed to detest each other, they both wanted her with them and wanted her taken care of. ?I?m fortunate that you both care so much about my well-being and that of my child. Thank you.? ?You?re welcome, dear,? Estelle replied. Noah finished his meal without another word. When he was done, he rose and shut himself in his little room. ?Boorish man,? Estelle said, picking up plates. ?I?ll get these,? Kate told her. She had already seen Tipper carry a valise up the stairs and had surmised that Estelle was staying the night. ?You go up and rest. Tomorrow is another full day, and you want to be fresh.? ?Yes, thank you. You?re very thoughtful. Good night, dear.? ?Good night.? Since Noah wasn?t there to insist she set the plates out of doors for someone else to wash, Kate took care of them. Afterward, she took her coat from beside the door and escaped out into the cool night air. The darkness and quiet were complete and all-encompassing out here in the foothills. Kate walked away from the house and stood beneath the night sky where she took a deep, cleansing breath. Everything was clean here. New. She had a fresh start. She sensed more than heard someone approach and turned to discover Noah?s broad form in the moonlight. ?You all right?? ?Yes, I?m fine. I just came out to enjoy the sky and the air. It?s so fresh, don?t you think? Better than perfume. Better than clean laundry. I can smell blossoms. I wonder what they are. Have you ever smelled anything equal to this? Just look at the sky. It goes on forever, doesn?t it? I feel like a little speck way down here on the ground.? ?She upset you?? She glanced at him. ?Estelle? No, she?s been very kind to me. She?s anguished over losing her son and that?s understandable. I feel bad for her.? He grunted. ?You two are not close.? He looked across the dark pasture. ?My father married her when I was eight. Had her own child soon and never had much use for me. She didn?t like this place, wanted a house in town.? ?But this is such beautiful country and the house is perfect. I can?t imagine anyone not loving it here.? ?Estelle hated that my father built the house for my mother.? ?Oh, I see. That?s a shame.? Amazingly, Noah offered more information. ?She stayed awhile after Levi was born. But as he got older, he wanted to work the horses with us. She moved to town.? What kind of mother left two children behind so that she could live in a nicer house? ?When did your father die?? ?Several years later.? ?I never knew my father. After Mama married him, he got gold fever. He lit out for the gold fields when I was little. Mama never had much use for men after that. Justified, she was, because of having to raise me all by herself and all. I always hoped for something better. A whole family.? She didn?t mention Levi?s name, but the hurt of his betrayal was there in the things left unspoken. ?You?re thinking I didn?t do too well choosing a husband and a father for my baby,? she said softly. ?And I expect you?re right. Taking a husband is kind of like finding an egg in a nest.? He cocked his head and looked at her. ?You know it?s a bird in there, you just don?t know what kind it?ll turn out to be.? ?Can usually tell by the shell what kind of bird it is.? A breeze blew a strand of hair across her face and flattened her skirts to her legs. ?I like April,? she said, undaunted by his pragmatic contradiction. ?It?s full of promises. The snow?s nearly all melted and flowers are just beginning to bloom. You know summer?s coming and soon there will be plenty of sunshine. Summer?s not pretty in the city. There?s lots of smoke and dust and it?s mostly hot. I?ll bet it?s nicer here. I read a book once where the boys went fishing in a pond and caught their own fish for supper. Do you catch fish?? ?Sometimes.? ?Where at?? He pointed. ?Lake yonder. Or the river.? ?Would you show me sometime?? He nodded. She wrapped her arms around herself. ?It?s going to be a good spring and an even better summer.? ?When?s the baby comin??? ?August I expect. I think that will be a good time. Better than winter. Won?t have to bundle him up or keep him out of drafts and such.? She turned and looked up at his shadowed features. ?Noah?? He jerked at her address. ?Yeah.? ?I was wondering?that is, were you hoping I?d say yes and go with Estelle? I mean, it?s a bother having me here, and you don?t even know me. I wouldn?t think poorly of you if you?d just as soon I not be here.? ?You?n the baby are better off here.? He hadn?t said he wanted her here, however. He felt a responsibility, though, and for now his sense of duty was her salvation. ?I?m grateful,? she said softly. ?Go to bed now.? ?All right.? She headed for the house, sensing him behind her. He remained on the back stoop while she entered the kitchen and hung her coat. She dipped a pail of water, gave him a little wave through the screen door and headed up the stairs. Kate slept amazingly well under Noah?s roof. Though it was a strange place and a completely new environment, she felt safe and comfortable. She woke rested and felt somewhat guilty over the fact when she saw Levi?s mother. Estelle had dark rings under her eyes and her face seemed puffy. After breakfast, she donned a hat with a black veil that shaded her eyes and gave her a dramatic sorrowful air, which Kate suspected had been her intention. Kate wore her other good dress. It looked similar to the last, except that it had an inch of lace that showed at the hem and at each sleeve. Estelle had shaken her head upon seeing it, but commented that there was nothing to be done about her costume that day. Noah wore dark trousers, a jacket with the collar turned up and a shirt and string tie. A black felt hat shaded his eyes. Newt and a fellow they called Jump came to nail the lid on the coffin, carry out it out and place it on the back of a wagon. Within the hour, townspeople arrived, along with the preacher. Kate met Marjorie Benson, a tall woman with friendly brown eyes and a big smile. The crowd walked behind the wagon, which Noah guided to a grassy area. Piles of rocks indicated other graves. ?Who else is buried here?? Kate asked Marjorie. ?The senior Mr. Cutter and an old drover that I know of.? A hole had already been prepared for the casket. The people gathered and four men lowered it into the grave. Kate got a sinking feeling at the permanence of the act. Levi had been her husband for such a brief time. All these folks had known him longer than she. But she carried a part of him inside her. A baby he?d left her before he?d run off and taken up with another man?s wife. How many of these people knew that part? she wondered. Thinking of it, Kate felt used and of little value. Reverend Davidson read from the Book of Psalms and said a prayer. Estelle sobbed woefully and dabbed her nose with a delicate lace-edged hankie. Two sympathetic women friends braced her on either side. From under the brim of her bonnet, Kate studied faces. Some were curious, others were filled with empathy. Noah?s was shaded as always. He stood apart, his chin down and his right hand in his pocket as it had been during the entire service. When the praying came to an end, Noah, having pulled on a pair of gloves, stepped forward, took up a shovel and began to move earth from the mound beside the grave into the hole. Kate?s eyes filled with smarting tears. She wasn?t sure if she was crying for Levi, for herself or for Noah who determinedly covered the wooden coffin with dirt. Marjorie gave her a sympathetic hug. ?You poor dear, so young?much too young to be a widow. Noah is gruff and seems unreachable, but he?ll do right by you. I trust he will.? Kate nodded. She believed that, too, or she wouldn?t have been here. Kate didn?t know how she endured the day. It lasted forever and the house and yard were continually filled with strangers. She was introduced to Eldon and Mildred Sweetwater and learned that Eldon and his son Burdell were the town bankers. Burdell?s wife, Diana, was a lovely woman with two children. Annie Carpenter was the seamstress Estelle had told Kate about, and she was married to a blue-eyed man named Luke. Estelle made a point of telling Annie that they would be visiting her for a wardrobe soon. ?I have two ladies working for me now,? Annie told them. ?So we should be able to handle your clothing needs quickly.? Kate met the Renlow family, nearby ranchers who were also related to the Sweetwaters. So many curious and assessing gazes were cast her way, she felt like a two-headed calf in a carnival. At one point Kate looked out over the array of buggies and wagons, the smatterings of folks engaged in conversation beside makeshift tables of food, and imagined herself instead at the lake Noah had told her of. She pictured a smooth, placid body of water, turquoise like the river that flowed down from Indian Peaks, with soft grass along the banks and mounds of clover in which to lie back and gaze at the clouds. Noah had disappeared once people arrived and swarmed over the Rockin? C like ants on a cake crumb, and she couldn?t blame him. Wherever he was, she?d bet it was a far cry better than being here. Kate ventured around the side of the house to escape the press of neighbors. Along the entire north side lay a garden in early spring garb. Rocks had been used as curving borders along the beds. The ground appeared freshly turned around the plants. Kate couldn?t name most of the greenery, but she recognized the rosebushes planted in abundance. What a lovely sight this must be when the buds came into bloom! The garden lay just below the triple floor-length dining room windows and would be beautiful even from inside. She planned to throw open the windows and smell the roses once they bloomed. Noah, a gardener. It was difficult to imagine. At last gathering her resolve, she returned. Eventually the ranchers and townspeople expressed their sympathy for the thousandth time and bid their goodbyes. Estelle accepted a ride from Dr. Martin, wedged her valise in the back of his buggy and rode off with a wave and promises to return and assist her newly found daughter-in-law. Kate entered the kitchen, where dishes had been washed and stacked and the table was laden with food in various containers and wraps. She hadn?t been able to eat more than a few bites all day, but she still wasn?t hungry. She was exhausted to the very marrow of her bones, however, so she climbed the stairs, removed her shoes and dress and fell onto the bed in a heap. It was dusk when a rap at the door woke her. Kate sat up, disoriented for a moment, and then the room and the day rushed back into her mind. She gathered a folded quilt from the foot of the bed around her and padded to open the door. Noah stood holding a plate of food and a mason jar filled with milk. ?You should eat.? She stepped back. ?I suppose I should. I do feel a little hungry now, thank you.? He didn?t enter. ?Have you eaten?? she asked. ?Doin? that now.? ?If you don?t mind, I?ll dress and come down to join you.? He nodded and turned away. His boots sounded down the hall and then on the stairs. Kate donned her dress, then took a few minutes to brush out her wildly mussed hair and braid it. She left the braid hanging loose and found him in the dimly lit kitchen. ?There were certainly a lot of folks here today,? she said, taking a seat and picking up the fork he?d placed beside her plate. ?That says a lot about the respect for your family.? ?I run a big spread. Spend a lot of money in town.? She eyed him. ?None of them are your friends?? He shook his head. ?Why not?? He shrugged and ate. Kate sampled one of the casseroles on her plate. ?Do folks know? I mean, about how exactly that Levi was killed?? ?I didn?t tell ?em. Estelle sure won?t.? ?But gossip will travel, don?t you think?? ?Can?t say.? She picked at her food again. ?Who planted the rosebushes on the side of the house?? The fork paused on its way to his mouth. He lowered the bite to his plate. ?My mother had a rose garden. It was overgrown and full of weeds when I thought to save it a few years back. I sent for more bushes.? ?The garden must be lovely when it?s in bloom. I can?t wait to see it. And the smell?why, it must come right into the house and fill every room.? ?Uh-huh.? ?Too bad they aren?t blooming yet. We could have placed some on the grave today. The preacher did a good job, don?t you think? The prayer was especially touching.? ?Not much for prayin? and the like.? ?You go to church on Sundays, don?t you?? ?No.? His reply caught her by surprise. Her mother had always taken her to church and nearly everyone they knew attended. ?Are you a heathen, then? You don?t believe in God?? ?I believe in God. He?s not the problem.? ?What is the problem?? ?People.? ?Oh.? She?d heard how Estelle spoke of and to Noah, but surely not everyone shared her low opinion. ?You go,? he said. ?Ride with Marjorie and Tipper.? ?Sunday?s still three days away,? she replied. ?I have time to think about it. Everyone stares at me?.? She shook her head to dismiss the thought. Noah laid down his fork. ?You have nothing to be ashamed of.? Tears smarted behind her eyes. She blinked to keep them from falling, but the attempt was useless. She?d been foolish to fall for Levi and everyone would know it soon enough if they didn?t already. Noah felt more awkward than ever at Katherine?s distress. She had loved his brother. He understood because he had loved him, too, but Levi?s callous behavior stuck in his craw. It took only the smallest thing to please Katherine. She was delighted with flowers and stars. Sunsets and good weather fairly made her delirious. So far he hadn?t heard her speak of anything that she couldn?t paint in cheerful colors. It would have been so easy for Levi to make this woman happy. Why the thought angered him more than any other, he didn?t know. Maybe because without the least effort Levi could have had everything Noah could never hope for. And he?d thrown it all away. Got himself killed and left a wife and babe behind. Katherine?s silent tears were far more eloquent than Estelle?s histrionics. Noah was completely at a loss as to how to react to a crying woman. Though they shared the loss, they were strangers. He could think of nothing to say that would change anything or bring her comfort. So, as usual, he said nothing. Chapter Four Kate was grateful that Estelle didn?t come to the Rockin? C on Friday. She used the reprieve to rest and to learn the layout of the house and outbuildings. At noon Fergie brought her a bowl of stew and a chunk of bread. ?What is everyone doing?? she asked. ?Roundin? up cows and branding,? he replied. ?Takes weeks in the spring.? She saw Noah only at supper when he brought two plates of food from the meal kitchen. ?I could cook you supper whenever you like,? she told him. ?No need to double the effort. Fergie cooks every night.? The beans were tasty and the golden-baked corn bread was perfection. She couldn?t have done half as well. Noah couldn?t realize the wise choice he?d made in declining her offer. But she felt the need to contribute. Noah had placed a crock of butter and a jar of jelly on the table near her, then dipped portions onto his plate before seating himself at the far end. Kate thought eating together would be nicer and simpler if they sat closer. She moved the crock and jar nearer him, moved her plate, then took the chair to his right. ?I was surprised the first time I saw that whole crock of butter on the table. Estelle had to tell me to help myself.? He stopped eating. She glanced at him. He lowered his hands to his lap without looking at her. Kate reached for the butter and spread some on her warm corn bread. ?This is a treat,? she told him. ?At home we rarely had butter. It was too expensive to buy from the general store. Estelle said someone on the ranch probably makes this.? ?Fergie.? ?I would enjoy seeing how he does it.? She noticed that he hadn?t picked up his fork and resumed eating. Setting down her slice of corn bread, she dropped her hands to her lap. ?Have I done something wrong? You didn?t want me to sit here, did you?? Quickly she got up and took her plate back to the opposite side of the table. ?I just thought it would be easier to talk. I?m sorry.? She?d lost some of her appetite and her cheerful mood faded. The fact that he didn?t want her near made her feel as though she wasn?t good enough. Surely he hadn?t intended to make her feel that way, but it was her impression all the same. ?You?ve been very generous,? she told him softly. ?I?m grateful to be here and I?ll try not to step over the boundaries.? He picked up his fork and held it suspended a moment before finishing his meal. It was difficult to be in his company when she couldn?t see his expression or read his eyes. He shut himself completely away from her and obviously preferred it that way, so she?d just as soon get used to it. When he was done eating, he got up and went back outside. Kate washed and dried the dishes, then wandered the house. She found the books he?d told her of and selected one. She?d been reading in the parlor for an hour or so when the back door opened and closed and the sound of another door indicated he?d shut himself in the back room. She shouldn?t feel slighted. The man hadn?t asked for her company and was generously sharing his home. He didn?t have to like her or to spend time with her. Kate took the book upstairs and read until she fell asleep. Saturday was no different from any other day of the week. The men did the same chores at the same times. But that night after Fergie prepared supper in the meal house, Kate learned that most of the hands left the ranch for the evening. Marjorie sent a message with Tipper that Kate was welcome to ride to church with them the following morning. Kate decided she would enjoy the outing and the company, so she accepted. She had washed and dried her good dresses, and now she heated the flatiron and pressed the rows of ruffles until they stood out like new. She hummed as she worked, and the words to the song came to her unconsciously. Noah stood on the porch listening to Katherine sing. Her voice was as pure and sweet as the woman herself. After having her in his home all week, he was still astounded at her dauntless cheer and optimism. Being in her company, he felt like an ugly wormhole on a rosy apple. Standing in the darkness, he didn?t have to see her to picture her hair in the glow of the lanterns, tresses as rich and thick as honey. In the sunlight it shone with a life of its own. Her eyes were dark with emotion and sparkling with life. She had skin as smooth and pure as fresh cream. Looking at her was like squinting at the sun on a bright day. Her prettiness was so good and so warm that it hurt. Sometimes he wondered how Levi had met her. At the laundry, he supposed. He?d probably invited her to dinner or for a carriage ride and had easily won her heart. The marrying part confused him still. Levi hadn?t been one to stay in one place or to commit for longer than a few weeks at a time. Noah had raised countless puppies and even a raccoon that Levi had brought home and quickly lost interest in. The hound that followed him around the ranch now was the whelp of one of Levi?s strays. This was different. This wasn?t a pet he?d tired of feeding and cleaning up after. This was a woman who needed provision and protection. A woman and a child. When Noah thought about the baby, he couldn?t help wondering if a baby would find his appearance frightening. Or since the child would be exposed to him from an early age, would he simply accept Noah?s appearance? It seemed logical that a baby would be more tolerant than adults. The child would eat at Noah?s table and learn to ride his horses and grow to manhood on the Rockin? C. A corrective wave of caution followed that thought. Or womanhood. The baby could be born a female. If so, Katherine would do all the raisin?. He didn?t know the first thing about females. Secretly he hoped Katherine?s baby was a boy. ?Have you ever known Noah to attend church?? Kate asked Marjorie the following morning as they sat together on the wagon seat. ?Never,? she replied. ?He doesn?t attend anything where folks are gathered. Doesn?t even come to town if it?s something the hands can take care of.? ?Can?t be healthy, staying to himself like that for his whole life. Folks need friends.? ?Been that way as long as I?ve known him.? They arrived at the little white church and Marjorie introduced Kate to a few parishioners she hadn?t met at the funeral. As soon as Estelle saw Kate, she bustled over. She was dressed in black from head to toe, and her expression did not convey pleasure at seeing Kate. ?You?ll sit with me, dear.? Marjorie gave Kate an encouraging smile and took a seat with her husband. Estelle led Kate up the aisle to one of the first wooden pews. ?I?ll speak with the Bensons after church and see to it that one of them brings you to town tomorrow. We can?t have you dressed like that?you?re a Cutter now. We have an early appointment with Annie for measuring. She?ll have fabrics and patterns for us to go over.? Kate smoothed the dress Estelle so obviously disdained over her lap and folded her hands. ?You need gloves, too. A lady always wears gloves in public. I?ve invited the Huttons to have dinner with us after church. Walter is Copper Creek?s schoolteacher and his wife, Rose, helps with Sunday school. They are a lovely couple.? Preacher Davidson greeted them on his way to the pulpit and within minutes the service was under way. It was much the same as the church Kate had always attended with her mother, except that they had always sat in the rear with the laborers. It seemed the folks were divided in this congregation, as well. The Sweetwaters, who Kate knew were bankers, sat in the front and the hands from the Rockin? C were in the back of the room. She had the feeling that she should be sitting back there with them, but Estelle had practically nailed her to this pew. After the service, Estelle was greeted by neighbors, and she made a point of pushing Kate toward them as though insisting they accept her. Kate recognized more than a few odd glances and took note of whispers behind gloved hands. Annie Carpenter made a point of drawing her away and saying hello. She held a bright-eyed toddler she introduced as her daughter, Rebecca. ?I didn?t know you had a child.? Kate smiled at the chubby little girl. ?She?s beautiful.? ?We?ll have another one in the fall,? Annie told her. Her smile told Kate that learning a baby was on the way hadn?t struck terror into her heart as it had hers. ?And you have time to sew, as well,? Kate said with admiration. ?That?s why I need help now,? Annie said. A pretty dimpled young woman joined them. ?This is my cousin, Charmaine Renlow.? Charmaine?s eyes widened when she met Kate. ?Oh my! You?re living out on the ranch with Noah Cutter? Aren?t you frightened?? ?Why, no.? ?I?ve heard frightful things about the man. Some of the stories say he hunts with his bare hands and eats raw meat.? ?That?s ridiculous,? Kate replied, offended for the man who?d been so kind to her. ?He eats the same as everyone else. And it?s all cooked by Fergie.? ?I?ve never seen him up close,? Charmaine added with a conspiratorial whisper, ?but they say he?s hideous to look upon.? Her words confirmed what Estelle had told Kate, though she hadn?t had a straight-on good look at him herself. She couldn?t really deny what she wasn?t sure of. But she could certainly attest to his character. ?He?s one of the kindest men I ever met. I suspect much of the talk has been aggravated above the truth.? ?For your sake, I hope that?s so,? Charmaine said sweetly. A young man approached then and she blushed at his arrival. ?Katherine, this is Wayne.? An unexpected Southern drawl laced Charmaine?s tone as soon as he joined them. Wayne nodded at Kate politely. ?How do, Mrs. Cutter.? No one had ever called her Mrs. Cutter before and she glanced aside for Estelle before she realized he had referred to her. ?We?re having dinner with my parents this afternoon,? Charmaine told her, and slipped her arm into the crook of Wayne?s. ?And a croquet match. I?m going to let him win this time.? Estelle found Kate and took her arm then, and Kate wished the young people a goodbye. Their way of life was as far away from hers as the sky was from the ground where she walked. She?d spent her growing-up years laboring to make money for food and a place to live, and she?d earned her way by washing clothes for people just like these. She?d be willing to bet these young women had never had to want for anything. They went directly from comfortable homes with their parents to good marriages. Kate didn?t begrudge them a thing. She simply had nothing in common with them. Or with Estelle and the Huttons as it turned out. Estelle?s cook had prepared rack of lamb, string beans and something called a Caruso salad with lettuce, tomatoes and a tangy sweet fruit topped with paprika and oil dressing. Kate speared a piece of the fruit. ?What is this?? ?Why, it?s pineapple, dear,? Estelle replied. Kate closed her eyes. ?It?s incredible.? ?You?ve never tasted pineapple before?? Rose Hutton asked. ?No, ma?am. I expect there?s a lot I?ve missed. But I?m enjoying learning now.? ?I?m trying to convince Katherine to live here with me,? Estelle told the Huttons. ?She seems to feel an unfounded obligation to Levi?s stepbrother.? Estelle?s home was elegant, no doubt about it. Kate had never seen furnishings so plush or rooms so ornate. Everywhere she looked there was another painting or vase or Oriental rug or brocade settee. But none of the rooms seemed as comfortable or as welcoming as the room Noah had given her. The opulence here didn?t appeal to her as much as the serenity of the ranch house she wanted to think of as her home. She didn?t want to have to explain her reasons to Estelle again. She?d already told her she didn?t want to live in the city. She couldn?t think of much else to say that afternoon. The time seemed to drag. Once the Huttons had gone, Estelle sat her down in the parlor. ?There is talk,? she said. ?What kind of talk?? ?About you being on the ranch alone with that man.? ?We?re not alone. There are hands.? ?Not living in the house, there aren?t. It simply isn?t proper. You shouldn?t be living alone with him.? ?I guess I don?t know much about proper. All I know is he?s kind and I like living there.? Estelle clearly didn?t approve of her reply. When she had her groomsman take Kate home, Kate was grateful for the escape. If that?s what Sundays would be like, maybe she didn?t want to go to town in the future. She changed into a day dress and read in her room for an hour or so before she went downstairs and found a tin of tea. She had just brewed a pot when Noah entered the kitchen. ?Good evening. Would you like to join me for a cup of tea?? He glanced at the pot on the table. ?All right.? She took out two cups and poured the tea, setting one at the spot he preferred. He took a seat. She studied his carefully averted face, wishing she could see him better. ?Sugar?? ?Yes.? She watched him dip a spoonful and stir. Picking up the cup, he took a sip. Raw meat indeed. ?I saw many of the folks who were here for Levi?s funeral today. Most were friendly. Some stared and whispered though. I met Annie?s cousin and a fellow named Wayne. Appears they?re sweet on each other.? He acknowledged her chatter with a nod. ?Estelle?s home is lovely. Her cook made us an elegant dinner. Lamb, can you fancy that? And I tasted pineapple for the first time. It?s the sweetest fruit I?ve ever had. ?The hillsides between here and town are bright blankets of purple aster. It?s early for those, don?t you think?? As though he thought he should reply, he said, ?Might be early.? ?Estelle made us an appointment tomorrow with Annie Carpenter.? She set down the cup she?d been holding. ?I have to confess that I?m not entirely comfortable about having a lot of new clothing made for me.? ?You need clothing.? True, she didn?t have dresses to fit her growing figure, but the garments certainly didn?t need to be expensive. She wouldn?t be wearing them but for a few more months. ?I was thinking I could ask Annie to show me how to help her and I could do some of the sewing myself.? ?Estelle sets store by Annie?s work.? ?And I?m sure it?s worthy of the praise, but I could make up for some of the cost by helping.? ??? ???????? ?????. ??? ?????? ?? ?????. ????? ?? ??? ????, ??? ??? ????? ??? (https://www.litres.ru/cheryl-st-john/his-secondhand-wife-39926242/?lfrom=688855901) ? ???. ????? ???? ??? ??? ????? ??? Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, ? ??? ????? ????, ? ????? ?????, ? ??? ?? ?? ????, ??? PayPal, WebMoney, ???.???, QIWI ????, ????? ???? ?? ??? ???? ?? ????.